M51
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November 26 2010
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'SecretGirlfriend' Having never written on one of these forums but for me it is important to say hello and to let people know why sometimes you just even know how to reply. I reply to all messages, maybe not as soon as I see it but there will be a reply. I try to be polite especially when I am saying no because I think that someone has maybe taken some time to write to me even though in some cases the message is "Do you want to F... me this afternoon". What I don't understand is when you do reply, and the response is no, for whatever reason, and I think we are all entitled to say no once in a while, that you then get an abusive message back from that person. I had this happen to me recently - got a message, checked the person out, decided that for me there was no interest/spark/inspiration (whatever you want to call it) and then sent a message back saying I appreciated the message, going to say no thanks and good luck in your search for some fun. The response I got back was "who the hell do you think you are, you aren't better than me". Maybe I gave that impression in the delivery and I was going to respond and say that but this person blocked me. I like to think I have manners and treat people with respect but yet this sort of behaviour puts you off responding if it is a no (I still do and figure that the odd nasty is better than not replying at all). But maybe this could explain some actions of the women on here especially if they are inundated with messages. SecretGirlfriend, You are very polite, I once messaged you and got a response in a very timely manner. The response was not in my favour but I appreciated the fact that you did respond even just to say no thanks, it goes a very long way and shows a persons quality.What I don't get is the guys out there who get knocked back and get defensive, rude or agressive/abusive about it.It really makes men look bad.A word of advice to the guys out there:No means no, accept it and move on.Do not abuse someone who has actually read and replied to you.J.
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RHP User
15 years ago
One of the more pertinent points raised in this thread is women stating they won't reply in the negative because they will get an abusive reply or worse, a reply that simply fails to recognise that the woman (or couple) has said NO. Firstly, let me assure you that this works both ways. It seems there are a small minority of women on this site who can't understand why a male would reject their not so subtle advances either. But I think the whole situation boils down to one major fact. People think this is a sex site, there has been forum threads on the topic and even some regular contributors here have proudly proclaimed this is a SEX SITE. Now to some, that means that anyone who is on this site must not only like sex, but be willing to have said sex with anyone who contacts them. It is a sex site after all, well according to their twisted logic. Another thing that has confused me is the pethora of women getting the 'Want to F... " type messages. Either the guys sending these out are idiots or that sometimes they actually work a small percentage of the time. Surely if a guy sends out 100 of those type of messages and get blocked by 75 women, and ignored by the other 25 then one would like to think he takes the hint. But if one woman responds favourably then hell, he succeeded. Everyone, if you don't like those messages, just immediately block the sender, no correspondence no nothing. Same as abusive replies to rejections, just block, people will soon learn that being rude and ungrateful just doesn't work. Mooka
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RHP User
15 years ago
Flirts are used to get someones interest, maybe have a look a that persons profile, they might not meet the criteria but there might be just that something that will make you reply
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RHP User
15 years ago
I just got a message that went something along the lines of, "I just wanted to compliment your mrs on a hot arse" -- Charming. I replied with some pointers. Here is to hoping he doesn't take it the wrong way. Guys, you need to be a bit more polite. Being the male in this particular couple -- Guys like that, I wouldn't let within 1000 feet of my partner. The polite ones, even the borderline cheesy / corny ones, on the other hand, I'd happily let them into our bed, simply because they are presenting themselves a little bit nicer than what is typically just rude in the real world. I mean seriously, if a guy came up to me on the street and said that in the same context, I think I literally would hit him. It doesn't change here, just because it is a sex site / swingers site. And I have zero jealousy issues, I can assure you. Maybe that is just me, though. Guys out there in couples? Care to weigh in?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'awsomechick26' I used to reply, but it starts something you never want to start .. you say no thanks, some respond thanks for ur time, some say why ? & send 10 messages asking the same question, some will say what not good enough for you , then get abusive ...... my main thing is my profile clearly states what i am looking for & yet i get messages from ppl way outside of this & I dont appreciate it at all................ lately the whole thing is getting to me u get messages from guys saying thanks for the message or thanks for the flirt yet u never msg or flirt them , i mean shit commmmon guys do u think we are stupid ! my advice read the profile carefully, fastest way to piss a woman like me off is to send a message when ur not even close to what im looking for . Well let me share my experience on this:Twice in the last 2 weeks have I had flirts/messages from ladies. To which i diligently respond.The first one was a flirt from a "guest member" saying....."Please message me, you're exactly what im looking for. I'm keen"So I put my thinking cap on and crafted a friendly and welcoming response To which I got the response "Sorry you don't match what I'm looking for.Hmm, That's not what your flirt said M'ladyThe second one was and I quote this exactly "May I see you please....M X"Again I respond in a positive and friendly manner (with gallery access of course).No response.....tumbleweeds roll past...... And I'm not being conceited here when I say I'm by no stretch of the imagination ugly, rude or stupid.So what do you reckon of that?J.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have always tried to reply but I do know that some slip through the net sometimes when life gets a little hectic. However, I am amazed at how many men fail to read profiles carefully before they make contact and when it is apparent that they haven't read through it can be quite frustrating. It amazes me further how many men are incredibly rude when given a polite "no thank you". I have have had lengthy and abusive responses because I have replied with a " no thank you" and have had some men respond with very unpleasant messsages that they'd rather I didn't respond at all if I wasn't interested. You're dealing with human beings with their own perceptions of what is the right thing to do. I'd suggest you shrug your shoulders and move on.
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RHP User
15 years ago
We've had some horribly disrespectful messages from single guys - the worst was "I love fuckn chubby girls hard, u keen?" Hence why we have the "no douchebags" disclaimer in our profile, but even then we get the regular "hey, u guys up for sum fun?" from guys who've clearly not read a thing. Manners go a long way folks!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'charge76' Flirts are used to get someones interest, maybe have a look a that persons profile, they might not meet the criteria but there might be just that something that will make you reply ah but 13 flirts later from the same guy? wouldn't u think that he'd get the hint after 2 unanswered? lol? the guy we mention also sent 4 or 5 messages, even tho we said a very polite 'no thanks' after the first. this went on for weeks. and every time we logged in, he looked at us multiples of times while we were on line. seems having the 'biggest cock on RHP' gave him special privileges, or so he thinks.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel'most single guys are single for a reason. our theory is that its usually not a good one. if you send us a flirt/message, we WILL NOT RESPOND as we believe you HAVE NOT read our profile. be respectful. read what it says and if you feel u match 100% then fire away. we don't flirt with or message people we don't match with, what would be the point? Are you kidding or what?So your saying if a guy is single, its because there is something wrong with him? How can you generalize like that?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Why should a woman respond to every message they get? There is absolutely no reason to expect that.Face to Face communication has a very different set of rules and protocols to that of online communication.If someone doesn't reply, it should be taken as a 'thank you, but no thank you'. Both parties are then free to move on as if nothing has happened.There is nothing more to it.And I don't like some of the nastiness that has transpired in this thread.
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RHP User
15 years ago
After 1 flirt/message that isn't replied or answeed we should move on?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Maxking2010' Quoting 'mikeandshel'most single guys are single for a reason. our theory is that its usually not a good one. if you send us a flirt/message, we WILL NOT RESPOND as we believe you HAVE NOT read our profile. be respectful. read what it says and if you feel u match 100% then fire away. we don't flirt with or message people we don't match with, what would be the point? Are you kidding or what?So your saying if a guy is single, its because there is something wrong with him? How can you generalize like that? because we can. because of the 114 pages of messages (most from single guys) that paint a very awful picture of the quality of single men on this site. read tho that we said 'theory' and 'usually' as on occasion there are those who send a message that not as offensive............... and question. is it your intention to follow us around the forums and harass us? if yes please say so. just so we know.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Seriously! Please! Stop pandering to this dead thread. Nothing new or insightful has been articulated for quite sometime. I need not reiterate the already "round and round"/"catch twenty two" that has been spewed in text over and over. "i wonder why, I wonder when"... If I'll see conversation worth involving in... Blurgh! Blah, Blah, Blah, etc... Get over it. I hate to sound like I'm being a cynic, but the told has been as such.
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