F56
Depression
November 19 2009
Comments
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ArtsyLusttty
16 years ago
After reading this particular post, I cannot begin how and/or what to say abt this "depression" this but all I can say that I have been there and through just few months ago :(Right now I am bak on the track and am feeling much stronger than I was before... :)s3ductr3ss x
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RHP User
16 years ago
leesa, love your poetry, and i can relate to that. i wont put my story in here about my clinical depression, debilitating fukka of a thing it is! but i will answer the question at hand. WOULD i like to know.... why yes i would. i would like to know of any mental illness a potential partner has. i met someone from online (a different site to this) and it turns out he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder as well as schizophrenia. well that explained some things i can tell ya. i had no idea how to handle talking with him before he started dealing with things.anyway, i am not saying everyone should tell everyone else their personal physical or mental health issues, only those you intend on getting close to. so they can be aware or help out. after all thats what firends are for, right? love jemma365-117-082
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RHP User
16 years ago
hotrightnow... I loved reading what you had to say.... but "a checkbox for our mental conditons".. hehe... some of us would never get laid! I went to the Fleetwood Mac concert last night. I gotta say that Stevie Nicks at 61 years of age is totally hot. Fleetwood Mac played for about 3 hours because they can play hit after hit and have plenty of songs left to play... Brilliant. They really are special and I wanted to share some lyrics that sum up how to get to the next day... the tune itself is horribly cheerful and probably the last thing you'd want to listen to when you're in a rut... but what is said really is exactly what I often try to tell myself to avoid getting in that dark place..... If you wake up and don't want to smile,If it takes just a little while,Open your eyes and look at the day,You'll see things in a different way.Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,Don't stop, it'll soon be here,It'll be, better than before,Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.Why not think about times to come,And not about the things that you've done,If your life was bad to you,Just think what tomorrow will do.Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,Don't stop, it'll soon be here,It'll be, better than before,Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.All I want is to see you smile,If it takes just a little while,I know you don't believe that it's true,I never meant any harm to you.Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,Don't stop, it'll soon be here,It'll be, better than before,Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.Don't you look back,Don't you look back.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Thanks Gaz, it was a hard time in my life and i wrote it all down. I hope i never go there again. I cant see that i will, but you just never know. I sometimes think that one day, i am just gonna simply fall on my knees and cry so hard......and i am not sure when or where that will be. But when i do, it will be much needed. Leesa xxxooo
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RHP User
16 years ago
It wasn't until last year when I got really bad with depression and sort out councelling from a therapist, that I have suffered from depression most of my life.Like redi2try my sister and I went through a traumatic experience with our mother and we were treated as KIDS that people pushed us aside and said we will get over it. I learnt to push bad experiences aside and get on with my life, I am always there for my friends and family when they need someone to talk to and I would listen to them so they get it all off their chest. When I needed someone all I got was oh your whinging or oh your just looking for attention, so I got into the habit of pushing it all aside as soon as something happened. Last year however I couldn't take it anymore, I had a bad experience and everything come to surface. For the past year I have turned into a hermit (recluse) I hated going out anywhere I lost my sex drive, to do anything was to much effort. The only thing I didn't mind doing was go to work, as it got me out of my world and into someone elses. I hated coming home and use to cry everytime I left work because I didn't want to be here alone.I tried to talk to my mother and father and step mother but they said I was being silly (they're still living in the 70's) My sister was there for me, I hid it from my best friend to save her from the hurt which was a big mistake, I hurt her more for not saying anything. I have a friend who has been through depression and she has helped and still helping me alot, just by being there to listen and knowing she understands the darkness is a great releif in itself. I have told some people I have met recently about it, some were ok others I never kept in contact with ever again. Going through depression has given me a brand new look at life and the way I percieve people. I have a little more patience for the way some people act and a bit more understanding for it. I seem to pick up easier when someone is unhappy and trying to hide it. I dont expect people to understand what I have and am going through so I won't preach to them about it. If they want to know I will let them come and ask me. For me though I feel like I will be fighting this for the rest of my life but as time goes by the fight is a little easier as I now know how to manage it better. I was offered medication but declined, my doctor has this offer open for me incase I feel a little weak or feel like I am going backwards at any moment.My point you ask. If someone needs to talk let them vent as bottling everything up can lead to depression, just because what someone find traumatic seems silly to you they might think the same for you. Everyone has sad days or bad days but there would be a reason for those days. Be mindful of others and remember we are all breakable no matter whom we are.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Just to let you know. I was given alot of help lines to call when I was at my worst with depression. None of them wanted to help me. I was given a website to go to that had a forum and chat site attached. They would not let me in. When I told my therapist that bad thoughts of leaving this world (and I did try) had crossed my mind she told me that if I was to try or do that again she could not help me. When you fall past a certain line there is no help for you from these places. You do need to seek help from those close to you. The night I tried to leave my life was running through my head from begining to end. My sister kept flashing up in my head and I kept thinking about what it would do to her ( I never thought of anyone else) all of a sudden the phone rang. I took my time to answer by the time i picked it up they had hung up, but immediately it rung again. I answered and it was my sister, she asked if I was ok. She had a bad feeling and felt the need to call me, she was in tears and she didn't know why. I was crying but I never told her what I was doing or thinking. For some reason (maybe cause we are close) she knew. I few days later she asked me if i was doing anything bad when she called. I admitted to her what I was doing and told her that if she hadn't of called I probably would of done it. Its amazing that if your close to someone like I am with my sister how they can help wihtout even knowing. My sister and I have an amazing connection we always have and always will.Like in my last post people who have depression may find better comfort and understanding from people who have or are going through the same thing as them more then they would find talking to someone who doesn't know them or doesn't understand. If people out there don't have someone they can talk to, if you feel like you would like to talk to me, send me an email either a contact number or an msn address or we can email each other. I am not promising I can cure you I will listen I won't judge you and we can cry together. You may think that its a big burben for someone who already has depression to take on, it helps me get through days helping others.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I honestly thought no one could have had a shittier upbringing as mine.I cannot wait for 2010 - this would have to be the worst year of my life and I want to move on, not sit and cry.Good luck, I'm trying to smile but somedays just the effort to get up and go to work is incredibly hard. I know how you feel.Seriously, if you see or meet someone you suspect suffers from Depression, don't ignore it. I've seen too many people give up and yes I've contemplated it a LOT this year.
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RHP User
16 years ago
FOR ME MY PROBLEMS R TWO FOLD. MY WIFE SUFFERS BI POLA,OCD AND ANXIETY,I SUFFER DEPRESSION AND IN THE LAST 18 MONTHS PANICK ATTACKS AND ANXIETY.I HAVE TRIED TO OVERDOSE A COUPLE OF TIMES BUT HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT MANY TIMES.MANY PEOPLE SAY HOW SELFISH THESE PEOPLE R THEY LEAVE BEHIND MUCH UNHAPPINESS. BUT FOR ME ALL THOUGHTS R ON BEING AT PEACE AND HOW TO DO THAT, U HAVE NO THOUGHTS OF LIFELINE ETC, U JUST WANT TO DIE. I FELL WE HAVE FEW FRIENDS BUT WHEN WE R AT WORK OR WITH OTHERS WE R THE LOUD ONES, THE ONES WHO R THE COMEDIANS, THE PRANCTERS ETC, BUT AT HOME ITS ANOTHER STORY.MANY PEOPLE CAN SUFFER DEPRESSION BUT GET OVER IT QUICLY, BUT THERE R THE ONES WHO HAVE A MISSING CHEMICAL IN THERE BRAIN THAT COTROLS DERPESSION, THEY R THE ONES WHO HAVE TO TAKE MEDICATIONS TO HELP THEM. ITS IN THE FAMILY TREE, U R BORN WITH THIS CHEMICAL INBALENCE,BUT ITS "TRIGGERS" THAT CAUSE OUR PROBLEMS, FOR ME ITS MY WIFE,SOME HAVE SAID TO ME WHY DO U STAY WITH HER WELL ITS NOT HE FAULT THE WAY SHE IS JUST AS ITS NOT MINE.I LOVE HER AS SHE ME I AM NO ANGLE BUT I WILL STAND BY HER EVEN IF IT KILLS ME!THE MEDS I TAKE TO HELP ME CAN ALSO KILL ME, ITS A VERY FINE LINE YOUR LIFE IS ON A KNIFE EDGE. ITS GREAT THERE IS NOW MUCH TALK ABOUT IT. DON'T GET ANGRY IF U FAIL TO SEE IT IN THOSE THAT HAVE TAKEN THEIR LIFE ITS VERY HARD TO PICK IT.YOUR NOT ABOUT TO COME UP TO YOUR MATES AND SAY TODAY I GOING TO TAKE MY LIFE. U MAY SEE SIGHNS LIKE FOR ME GETTING JOBS DONE , BEING EDGY, BEING SHORT ETC.U MAY GO ABOUT GETTIG THINGS READY SO YOUR FAMILY IS FINACIALY OK. THEY CALLED ME MADMICK AT WORK ONLY BECAUSE I PLAYED AROUND. SORRY FOR THOSE I HAVE PISSED OFF ON CHAT THAT NOW HAVE BLOCKED ME. CHEERS.ONLINE1 IF I HAVE HELPED SOMEONE TO UNDERSTAND OR OTHERS TO SEEK HELP GREAT.
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RHP User
16 years ago
thanks for letting me talk at you - hang in there babe you're a strong woman, you will get through this and maddy and i will chat with ya anyday especially to see that cheeky cheeky laughdont shut out your friends and dont shut out that guy - heck if he's coming back after everything that's gone on, he sure does care.Lou xxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Most interesting to read thru comments generated from Miss Honey. Clearly a most relevant topic considering Mental ill health is in pandemic proportions. Whilst a most complex disease, the way out of depression & anxiety is as individual as the person experiencing it. Yes, excercise plays a crucial role in recovery, as does Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and, for some, a pluralistic strategy combining both pharmachological & behavioural intervention. Enviromental factors also feature heavily in any recovery plan. Self education is critical and I urge not only those suffering from any form of mental ill health, but everyone in general to arm themselves with knowledge, forewarned is forearmed. Beyondblue.org, SANE, black dog and other affiliated sites are a wonderful resource. For those recovering, moodgym is also a great tool to assist you toward mental (good) health and wellbeing. A few tips to keep the 'black dog' at bay, early recognition & intervention: stay connected to helpful and supportive friends and family. Arm yourself with knowledge and be your own advocate when discussing concerns with your GP. Love, Laugh and Learn :) J
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi all. Okay. Yes. i have Chronic Clinical Depression. I have been on one type of medication or another (or a couple of others) since I was 19. I am going to be on them for the rest of my life. I have been able to come to terms with the fact that I will always be only a few missed pills away from hopelessness, helplessness and suicidal thoughts. But this neither here nor there. People who suffer are generally very good at knowing who they can come out too, and who they shouldnt. Alot of people find the thought of someone else suffering to be a personal attack on them. I've had relationships fail because the person involved took it as an insult that I couldnt "just be happy." But, what really REALLY irks me, is people who use depression (real or fanciful) as a tool to help them pick up. I know of a lot of people (usually guys) who use it as a means to get attention and sympathy. That truly sickens me.
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RHP User
16 years ago
couplesint a very powerful poem that your wrote, i feel for you.In regards to Devine i do not know any history as i only recently joined rhp but by the sounds of what she has said i do see her point, and i think maybe some people have been a little harsh on here. PLEASE DONT TAKE ME THE WRONG WAY just here me out. The reason why i say this is there is a number of reasons as why people are on here. some want to make friends some are bored some want a relationship and some lkike devine in my opinion just want a root. IF you want a root and thats it, no personal connection then thats fine i dont think you should disclose much, just get each others rocks off and go... BUT if you are looking for friends or are searching for your soulmate or whatever be the case, after sometime, but before things get serious i believe that you should allow the person that right to say no i dont want to get myself into this, or say ok no problems i think i may love you, i want to stick by you and help you through thick and thin. they should know what they are in for. you dont sleep with someone unprotected and then say oh by the way i got hiv or something else yeah? there is no set rule for something like this its all upto the poeople involved. what would i know???yeah i am 22 i cant dispute this but before you judge me, i do know what a lot of people are going through. i am 5 months out of a 4 year relationship. prior to moving into my now ex's house with her mum and her brother as i was kicked out of home to make things easier for my mum to cheat on my dad. back to the point i told my ex everything prior to being with her and then told her mum before i accepted her invitation (only being with her daughter for 3 months she said) come move in with us here... beautiful woman, will forever be in debt to her. i was diagnosed with bi polar mood disorder (type 2, out of the 3) back in '02, you guys are pretty clever do the math (born in '87) i was very young. i have had my ups and downs and n ever thought id make it to 21. i nearly hanged myself in front of my brothers eyes at the age of 12. started mutalating myself at 13 my parents never new until school sent a note home, would always try to cover it up, it was not to pull attention. tried to od at 15 with a pocketful maybe around 75 to 80 assorted tablets from the medicine cabinet. and there was quite a number of other things in the mean time. my last attempt was taking 92 tablets of olanzapine, a drug specific to bi poles which aid to sleep with a mood stabalising addetive about 3 weeks prior toing my 21st where i didnt wake up for 2 or 3 days and still cant remember a great deal about the days to follow. i put my ex through hell and i am deeply sorry for this although she will never realise to what extent. i got angry with her so i kicked every panel of my car and put my fist through my rear windscreen and split my hand open. only recently spent $3,000 supplying the paint and paying for a mate to do a backyard spray job to fix my car. i used to dig my nails into my face and try to pull the skin off of my face in front of her eyes and end up with anything from 1 or 2 scratches the width of my nails and a few cms right upto 7 or 8 scratches going from the bottom of my eyes down to my chin and would look like i had been mauled by an animal. i used to get that angry that i would literally be fitting. the first time with my ex was one new years eve where she was in another room and i lay on the bed and she came in as she heard the bed banging against the wall and i ended up with friction burns on my heels, and then numerous other times including in my wardrobe. there has been a number of other incidents that i cant think of at the top of my head but at least you can see that i do have a valid amount of experience to back any opinion on the subject.having a mental illness for me is like having a devil inside of me which at times i can not control. it scares the hell out of me when im not in control of myself. some advice for people that havent gone through depression or any other mental illness, you dont have to solve the problem, but you can lend an ear, or at least offer, IT DOESNT HURT TO REASSURE THEM. make sure your friend or loved one knows this. you probably will get abused at one point in time but please this person is scared too, they love you and it may not be "them" abusing you, stickj by them, watch for unusal sleep patterns, either lots of sleep or "insomniac" like sleep or continuiously dosing being tired etc etc, your friend is cointinously fighting a battle within themsleves and can be very drained. withdrawing tendencies, added apetite or loss of apetite loss of interest in hobbies, loss of labido.Please note if any 1 or 2 of these things are happening it doesnt mean that he or she is suffering from a mental illness, but just be aware, you know the person you make the judgement. NOBODY WANTS TO BE DOWN OR DEPRESSED. so please dont think this is the case, be patinet a broken arm doesnt heal over night. this can take several weeks months or even decades for your loved one to be "back to normal" NEVER GIVE UP ON HIM OR HER.your loved one loves you so be understanding.this is just my 2 cents. i hope i can make it easier for some none sufferers or people that dont understand mental illness even just a fraction.Also i am not chasing sympathy or empathyTrev
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RHP User
16 years ago
Some people are just raised to have a depressive nature. I myself go through intense mood swings that can happen minutes apart. I think you might find a higher rate of depressed people here as sex can mask the issue and make it go away for a while. sometimes laying in someones arms can make everything better for a short while.There are many different ways to deal with it. Medication. This is only a band aid but for anyone other than severe sufferers. Counseling, but I found I spent more time consoling my counselor once I gave them my whole story rather than the other way round. Gotta find the right one.Meditation & exercise can also help.Also you have the final solution but I do not condone this for anyone who has kids or Dependants. U can also work with a shrink who works on false memory implantation. This is where they can convince the sub conscious u had a great upbringing & all is good. I myself dont like this idea as it feels like ur running from the truth.One of the hardest things 2 except is the fact that all experiences & people in your life exist as nothing more than milivolt electrical impulses running through a hunk of flesh in your skull. How can we truly know whats real & whats not?But thats getting a little more philosophical.
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