F53
weasel words
October 05 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Good topic, and I have spent a fair few posts on this subject. May I summise? To quote you: I forgive the crappy first message I sense he's not interested I haven't been captivated by his messages Your gut told you from the start this guy wasn't a winner, so why would you be surprised he turned out not to be? If he had suggested meeting up, would you have gone, despite your immediate misgivings? Now, the following is not about you, but there have been many threads from women complaing about men they agreed to meet, from being stood up to the guy turning out to be a jerk. Most of these women knew from the start the guy wasn't great, but decided to "give him a chance". As for you, I think you deserve better. And your gut was spot on (as I suspect it has been many times). x
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RHP User
12 years ago
Damn, is it that easy to get your pic? ;)
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RHP User
12 years ago
He may have felt you really weren't into him, and decided to be vague on purpose to see what YOU would do next. He potentially could have written the same forum you did. See, I really know nothing...
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RHP User
12 years ago
You have presented both sides. I would have figured the op wasn't interested in him.
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RHP User
12 years ago
When someone initiates with a question.
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Tall74nHard9
12 years ago
or whatever it may be tomorrow . Just judging purely from what you've written above, your initial contact seems to me he was busy at the time and was trying to divided his time doing more than one thing at the time (?). Obviously you were both feeling each other out at the time, but his lack of response to your pic, plus his slow response time, does suggest he's not got his mind on you. (BTW I do use the word 'thus' too). Personally though, at this point I would have told you either, sorry but I'm just a bit busy atm but can I get back to you a little later, or I would have said sorry hun, but you're not quite what I'm looking for but thanks for your interest, and I hope you'll shortly find someone more suitable. However, with the contact at 3 days later, I would have told him to take a long walk off a short pier. There is really no excuse for leaving the contact for that long (unless some family emergency etc). Personally I would let you know exactly where things stand, whether positive or not. I don't believe in letting a person hang in the never-never world. I would be respectful of your feelings as a person and tell you kindly my intentions and feelings. But hey, that's just me. Tall
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RHP User
12 years ago
Actually OP I would have taken it as you weren't interested. Not saying this is one sided on your part. So it may not have been the best opening line for him. However, your questions were all close ended or making assumptions - not really giving him a chance to tell you about himself. If someone did that to me, I wouldn't be interested either, sorry. The difference... "IT right?" First off, assumption and close ended question - it really only allows a yes or no answer. As opposed to... "If you don't mind me asking, what do you do?" Open ended where he can tell you as much or as little as he wants. As for who uses "thus", I do. Some of us still love the English language and find articulate messages sexy. I would hesitate a guess that his responses had less to do with your photo and more to do with the conversation and questions, sorry. BGTL- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I was 90% not interested by his third message. My point is that by the time I'd reached 100% not interested I wouldn't have hinted at this through an obscure, completely out of context message saying "cool, have a great weekend". Them's weasel words folks. I would have simply said thanks for the messages, I'm not interested in future contact. It doesn't affect me in the slightest that he's not interested or that he's a crappy communicator. My thread is just about my eternal frustration that grown men and women so often seem so incapable of saying it straight. Tall ship, I don't have to tell him to go jump. He's made himself pretty clear and I'm more than OK with his position, nothing more to be said :) Unrushed, if I run into you on a regular site anything's possible ;) BeenGoodTooLong, his profile actually said what he did, I was simply checking I understood it right I agree all that my messages were short and neutral. As above, it's the final message that shows his true character to me - no weasels in my world, thanks.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I don't reply to messages for longer than three days all the time. Why tell him to take a walk? Bizarre. LilMiss he obviously isn't keen and your responses were just as short. I don't get why you are worried about it? Jut move on.
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RHP User
12 years ago
You'll have to give me more info than that.... And who do I look for, given your fluidity of names? LOL- Posted from rhpmobile
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Tall74nHard9
12 years ago
We have to try and see what was going on at the time thru' your wording. Like your reference to the 'tall ships' - quite appropriate really as a number of them are Dutch (which is my background, and the Dutch are also the tallest people in the world atm). So, just going by your words above, I don't think you should be 'OK' with how it came to close - he didn't really follow thru' and left it too long to get back to you. Simply not "Gentlemanly" like. Meeka, my sweet lil sex rocket, I can accept that if you have already established a rapport with someone and you know how you each may operate, more than 3 days without communication may be quite acceptable. But as per the original storyline, I don't accept that waiting for such a length of time (noting exceptions) is really showing any true interest in the person and therefore my comment to take a walk. Overall, the point I was trying to make, is that I agree with your sentiment. Man up and just tell the other person what it is - either I like you and want to carry on, or thanks but no. Weasel words don't do it for me either. Tall
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RHP User
12 years ago
That he wasn't who he reported to be .. Not so much here on RHP .. (which is why I stay here) ... but on other sites .. it seems the romance scammers are infiltrating quite well ... a group of people take a membership .. and you may well find that over the time span of 7-14 days .. you might well have been chatting with anywhere up to 7-8 different people who have admin rights to that profile .. very possible when they dont have any pictures up ...
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RHP User
12 years ago
are just not adept at online banter.Whether or not he thought your messages were crap or he wasn't attracted to your pic is a moot point.Your interactions with each other were hardly inspiring.Weasle words suggest to me a Uriah Heapness, rather than this man's anodyne responses.Most people would rather fade away if they are not feeling an interest, than directly say something to another person that they have never met, which may cause hurt or offend....xR
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sometimes this does happen that possibly the man was busy I am not sure, but after reading this and receiving yet another message from someone I am not interested in I decided I had to let him know....I thought he would have taken a hint as I had not replied to any of his previous messages and I had told him I wasnt really interested a while ago.So I was more direct but polite, he had assumed I was just busy.
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RHP User
12 years ago
OP, there I was thinking you were a new poster.
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madotara69
12 years ago
or the cover on a picture magazine.Mado
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RHP User
12 years ago
If your're in the game play full out. Ask if there is any attraction beyond the words. If it's cold calling with revelation of photo - you're gonna get that..It is hard for a some Men with consideration for a woman's feelings and how not to offend to find the words...Thus (ahem)..Either way you're getting your answer..If rejection is making you bitter...How's it going with all that?
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RHP User
12 years ago
After reading your OP and your follow up, it sounds like neither of you were very straight up about being disinterested. Does that not make it weasel words at 10 paces from each of you?
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm not sure whether to hang my head in shame and slink off for such a failed thread OR spank some of you for not reading properly ;) I get it. The message exchange was crap. I acknowledged that early on. I remain committed to my point that at the critical moment of truth (see recent thread about truth) - that moment when you've decided you're just not interested - the mature and decent thing to do is just bloody say so, directly, leaving no room for guess work or misunderstanding. Don't say "Cool, enjoy the weekend" and expect the reader to know you really mean "I'm not in the slightest bit interested in you". Don't be a weasel. Simples. Orright, I'm off to console myself with my new toy
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De0cypher
12 years ago
Lilmiss... whole hearted agreement here - belated perhaps - however, regardless of the exchange/type of exchange, a simple 'yes, this seems like its not going anywhere and I've lost interest' definitely saves time and effort for all! having said, I've just had a rather abusive response to that tactic - so, certainly not for the faint hearted to be honest it appears. but, nothing gets under my skin more than the disappearing acts after you reach the stage of sharing private pics - i'm a grown up, if you're not interested in my bits, please say so - don't disappear or as per your op - wish me a good wkd!
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