M53
second shot?
April 15 2014
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
If be wary...... but accept that people and circumstances CAN change. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
But in more cases than not do you want to be their second draft pick? Most of the time it may be because they were pursuing someone else and that didn't work out. So you were the alternative. If it is just a once off who cares, but if you want something ongoing, I'd rather want someone who wanted me first off. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
The part about a once off.... You get presented with an opportunity with me. If you're not attracted to me all good, I have no issue with that I'll bid you good luck. But..... That door is then closed, locked and sealed shut. Their personal circumstances I can understand. They're seeing someone, they're not ready, whatever...but if you're not attracted to someone on the first meet, then just because they've run out of options doesn't mean I'm going to run out of mine when they're horny and desperate. Fuck that. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Why they changed their mind.....could be they had to end something first..?could be they found they were thinking about you more than they thought they would...what do you have to lose?xx Q
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' If be wary...... but accept that people and circumstances CAN change. - Posted from rhpmobile I'm not interested in being anyone's 'near enough' choice so I'd be pretty interested in (and somewhat suspicious of) their reasons.
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RHP User
12 years ago
A variety of reasons can be given to stop seeing someone. But if someone outright said they weren't attracted to me (and that's an acceptable one... because I am not everyone's cup of tea) I would not entertain a 180 change of heart on that one. But it's your call. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am sure some men will shout me down for this, but in my experience if a bloke did that it is because he is really horny and he is trying his luck because he can't find anyone else. Making a statement I am not attracted to you..... then calling back to say I have changed my mind. Sorry dude...... I have moved on. Bye bye!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I am sure some men will shout me down for this, but in my experience if a bloke did that it is because he is really horny and he is trying his luck because he can't find anyone else. Making a statement I am not attracted to you..... then calling back to say I have changed my mind. Sorry dude...... I have moved on. Bye bye! Totally the correct response you should be giving anyone, male or female in regards to something like that. Though if I wasn't attracted to them, no matter how horny I was, I still wouldn't wish to sleep with them. My hand is always there ready and waiting in that kind of scenario.Nothing worse than feeling like you are the final option or the backup plan. fuck that for a joke.That being said back to kinky's orginal post I guess it also depends very much on a case by case basis. if u had met the person and they had decided they weren't attracted then why would they have changed their minds.....did u suddenly win lotto? If it were on a website such as this and never really took the time to meet and based their opinions off of checkboxes and text.....then maybe you could accept that second chance
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RHP User
12 years ago
don't be anyone's second choice. If they weren't attracted to you - they still aren't. I wouldn't trust the motive.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'll drink to that!!! Cheers and a big here here!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sorry, but let's be blunt..... What have we got, 20-30 guys to every girl....... Why then would she backtrack rather than moving on...... Did she realise you were what she was looking for, did you offer her something different.... (Might have been those bed sheets)...... I personally wouldn't go there but if she opened up that can of worms, then ask!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sorry, but let's be blunt..... What have we got, 20-30 guys to every girl....... Why then would she backtrack rather than moving on...... Did she realise you were what she was looking for, did you offer her something different.... (Might have been those bed sheets)...... I personally wouldn't go there but if she opened up that can of worms, then ask!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Maybe But I would have had to have found them attractive enough. I guess you never know what made them say no in the first place.
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RHP User
12 years ago
The shoe is on the other foot and she is accepting him back.He has been honest with her from the word go and literallywants a friendship and not a relationship... then it is your choice especially when you really didn't set down any boundaries to start with....All that was said was FWB....How do you define that?I now have a friend without benefits.... well that is how I havelooked at this scenario....The fucking has ended but the friendship has started.You clicked from the word go but neither of you are readyfor a relationship so early in the piece.... both have been hurtin prior situations....I say be friends and see where it goes from there minus the sex.You can never have too many friends....TRUE.
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gazpacho
12 years ago
Not if they're needy. I'm the needy one in this relationship, damn it. Hugs Gazpacho
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RHP User
12 years ago
We Clicked and connected and then slept together.......and it was a total let down for both of us....so he decided and I agreed that it just wasn't happening.Months later he decided we should give it another try....I dragged it out for around 6 weeks before giving in.....and WOWIt was electric for both of us!!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
I see a few people discussing being someones second choice. To them, I ask a rhetorical question. Is there more than ONE person, in your favourites/hot list?! Think about it. DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
DG, that is different. You have met people on your hot list and said no I am not attracted to you. People are saying second choice because they obviously couldn't get who they really wanted so they have used you as the fall back guy even though they have already rejected you once. If you are okay with that, then that is your choice. But seriously, too many men and so little time. Why would you bother?
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
That's what I call them. They keep coming back, no matter how long the string is! It's happened to me before, quite a few times actually. Most of the time I don't go there again. only because if it was right the first time then it's not right the second time. If they were Mr/Mrs UNavailable the 1st time, what makes them think 2nd time I'm available and ready for them?? I'm not going to go there if they just want a root or shag for their own selfish needs. Bugger that!. I have had someone come and go for the last few yrs and it drives me absolutely nuts! He left the country, then came back 6mths later, then went AGAIN, then back again and then made contact AGAIN. Every time he comes back to the country, I say NO. The more I say NO the more he kept trying (bless his cotton socks) About 6mths ago I met him, we met for a drink. it was awesome (no sex), we talked openly and honestly. Said our farewells, and off I went.. It was great to do..I had to cut the strings that night for my own emotional health. I guess time will tell. But then again, circumstances can change, things happen...it's all about timing, I guess?? Who knows?? Foxy xx
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sweetgem
12 years ago
I will NOT even give it a second thought, whether it's for a NSA sex or a serious relationship! Been there done that once (in a committed relationship) and once was too many chances! Lesson learned and I will never again give anyone a second chance in the relationship (includes casual sexual type) department nowadays! A few months ago, I approached a RHP business traveller for a NSA session while he was visiting Sydney. Got his reply saying that I was not what he was looking for, which I accepted and thanked him for his honesty and reply. Weeks later, I got an email from the same guy saying (not the exact wording, but something similar): "how about some oral work tonight". Did he get another response from me? You can guess! :-) Geez, I wonder what makes some people think that they can just come and go as they please?! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I believe that so many people are looking for the Superman or Wonder Woman that they walk past all the Clark Kents and Diana Princes in the world. It is only a few who look back and think "Oh crap, what have I missed out on there" that they consider the "second shot"... 20/20 hind sight is a great thing, especially when you have the opportunity to remedy a mistake. Besides, who am I to deny someone the pleasure I may bring them and that they may bring me? Everyone makes mistakes and should deserve a second chance. SG(Should you give me a "Second Shot"? Yes, because HP said I'm worth it )
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RHP User
12 years ago
I still stand behind my motto of "I'll try anything thrice"... Once) Because there is always a first time.Twice) Because we may have been too nervous the first time and have stuffed it badly.Thrice) Because now you know what you are doing you can make an informed decision. After the third time things are not right/good/fun lock it in a box, put it on the shelf of life experiences and move on. Life is too short to skip out on things that could make you happy and too short to waste your time on things that just aren't good for you. SG(If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you)
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
Just recently I made friendly contact with someone, only to see how they were going, cause I genuinely wondered about them as a person and as a friend to branch out an olive branch.. However it was not to beg them back or get a 2nd chance or anything like that. From my end it was a genuine concern of kindness towards them. Well what I thought it was a kind thoughtful gesture, was a huge bloody slapped in the face with the olive branch. Oh well, their loss not mine - time to move on! I know it's not me, but them. So OP sometimes it works and sometimes it does not. If it was a long time thing (relationship/friendship what ever one calls it), I think the situation is a little different..from one or two dates.. Can I ask, what have you done about this situation?? Foxy
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Lovinit28andKC72
12 years ago
Then I'm sorry, I probably wouldn't be good enough the second time around either.....yes sure circumstances can change, but I don't..........just saying.........💋
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy'Can I ask, what have you done about this situation?? My "situation" was that I put the person in the "blocked" list, if only to ensure that I never talk to her again by mistake (this was on another site, not here). And she must have told other people about this, because all of a sudden I started to get bombarded by messages from various people saying "You do not want to burn the bridges", "Never ever lock the door on anyone", "Who are you to deny other person a second chance" and so on. There were so many of those messages that it got me thinking, maybe it was just me... so I'm glad that I asked this question here, because the majority of the answers seem to be perfectly in line with how I feel about this.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I could give them a second chance if they said for one example, look you a great looking guy but at the moment.........I'm pretty sure most people playing in this site would be the same, or why would you be in here because we are all some ones second or third choice. If they just came out and said sorry you're not good looking enough as Meeka100 put it. "Sorry dude...... I have moved on. Bye bye!"
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RHP User
12 years ago
that this is kinda like an ex situation.... you'd move along wouldn't you? the fact that you're asking the question here in the forum tends to indicate that you are not comfortable with the idea of the 'change of mind' ..... I'm not much into the yes no maybe situation. I'm the 'move the hell along' type ... but I also think every situation is different.... It depends if the person hadn't really made up their mind about you ....... any way I look at this, I'd be on my bike.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Friendship is different from fucking.... Just saying. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
And I got rejected after a couple of meets only, then it would be "Sorry, your loss", but if it was a previous FWB who I stopped seeing for whatever reason I would reconsider. Depending how good the sex was, of course
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
Quoting 'sir_stir' Friendship is different from fucking.... Just saying. - Posted from rhpmobile Sweetness, I never said in any of my posts IF I was fucking them or not. Just saying Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
The plot thickens.. Foxy
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' The plot thickens.. not really ) I was just genuinely curious because I thought maybe it wasn't the right thing to do... to close the door. But... it turns out that "the only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong, was when he thought he'd made a mistake".
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RHP User
12 years ago
Are they Russian? LOL
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' LOL at least someone's laughing, right? :D
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RHP User
12 years ago
Almost never; most likely they have no new meets organised and they want some company. never be seconds to someone who didn't initially find you attractive. x - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
It goes with everything you do in life, jobs, friendships ect , you never accept second best. Usually its because they found someone else and it went to shit and you're their backup, I'm no ones backup and I'll never accept their request.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Not thrice like Amicus,but usually twice....I don't think of it as second best,just that circumstances change.....not so long ago I gave someone a second chance,in the middle of our correspondence he found someone else,when that didn't work out,he contacted me again..... it didn't work out between us either but at least I wasn't left wondering. I have found that it is the things in life you didn't do that you regret,rather than the things that you did.xx Q
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RHP User
12 years ago
Did it cut you to the core that she said there was no attraction? Did you feel there was a connection and she was reciprocating the affections an attention during your meets ? There's a lot more to it isn't there :( If she chose to walk away due to lack of interest, then let her go. Sometimes going back hurts more then the initial loss. My philosophy, never go backwards, move onward and upwards (so to speak) it would appear that you were not her first choice and it may be a rebound thing. Maby sit down an talk it out an go from there though. We all have our own ways of doing things, what I might choose to do may very well make you raise an eyebrow and have that "sayy whhhat" look lol. You have to choose your path here, don't base your decision on other's choices, listen to your heart.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Said.... " if you fall for two people, go with the second one. Because if you loved the first, there would be no second person". Ok not word for word...but you get my drift? I try to live that way too....if a person wants someone else...all good....if they want me after....no way.
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