M57
monogamy
January 10 2015
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yes. Been there, done it. Didn't regret a thing. (Ultimately regretted the monogamous relationship when it went very bad, but didn't regret the change, ever). I used to do GBs (small scale) and MMFs regularly, my guilty pleasure in life. Ok, you've got me - I never once felt guilty. I LOVED it. But when I went into a committed monogamous relationship (slowly, kicking and screaming)... it was somehow worth more than what I'd left behind. I had many wonderful memories, and a present and future which was blissful (at the time), so no regrets whatsoever. For this little chicken, yes indeed, very possible - with the right person :)
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
Because I haven't had to cross that bridge.... What I will say is that I haven't met anyone that I would give it all up for yet. I love my freedom of being able to do who and what I want when I want, to give all that up, now that would take someone extremely special... But never say never, oh unless we are talking about marriage, then I say never, ever....💋
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RHP User
11 years ago
It's not giving up my uber exciting sex life that would be a problem😄😄and yes I could be monogamous,but I doubt that I could sustain a live in relationship,and certainly not a marriage of any sort.As my friend Lovinit said,I could never give up my freedoms.....xxFreya
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RHP User
11 years ago
Would I? For the right person........ absolutely.
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RHP User
11 years ago
For the right person, absolutely. But then, I'm not a "more the merrier" type to begin with!
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MissBishere
11 years ago
Quoting 'Lovinit28' Because I haven't had to cross that bridge.... What I will say is that I haven't met anyone that I would give it all up for yet. I love my freedom of being able to do who and what I want when I want, to give all that up, now that would take someone extremely special... But never say never, oh unless we are talking about marriage, then I say never, ever....💋 agree...but I would expect any relationship I entered into would still allow for additional playmates occasionally to join us.
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RHP User
11 years ago
From what I have read in the forums, a lot of people use RHP as a way to have intimacy and expand their sexual experience and fulfilment until they find that special person. It all depends on where you are in your life's journey and if you are ready to make a commitment.*That is why so many, men and women from RHP are also on vanilla dating sites. *Although if you really do love the lifestyle then it would be ideal to find someone here who understands and shares your passion. *LG
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'd be interested to hear from the men here and their thoughts on becoming monogamous.*If monogamy is important to you and you met your special person on RHP are you always going to be suspicious of their intention or will you trust them? All comes down to honesty and communication, as in all walks of life. LG
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've chosen monogamy before at times in my relationships. I CHOSE it though. I believe in ethical non-monogamy so whilst I could and have chosen monogamy for a time in relationships, my core beliefs on them don't change at any point. Yes, people can make drastic changes, I suppose who they're making the change for and why, is key. Flirty x
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RHP User
11 years ago
I guess my answer is a combination of both Msb72's and Freya's responses. Ultimately I am looking for a 'monogamous' relationship, but one where we'd play with other people or in group situations together. However I'm most definitely not ready (or even looking for) a live in relationship or marriage... I'm after a boyfriend not a husband :) Much love, Elle xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Heading meant to read - OP Could you do it?
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RHP User
11 years ago
thank you ladies for your comments so far
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RHP User
11 years ago
I would rather be monogamous any day over this lifestyle. I am extremely committed when with someone and I wouldn't give this place a second thought if I got what I wanted in a relationship. I was promiscuous when I was younger until I met my ex and while I was married, never even contemplated seeing anyone else while married, I can't even recall even perving on anyone, I was happy with what I had.
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RHP User
11 years ago
thank you shesays and ralf that puts my mind a little at ease leo girl i was a relative newbie to here when we met id had a couple of hookups she was full on into the more the merrier scene for about a year we hooked up a few times then dated for a few months i was only seeing her from our first meet she continued to play for 2-3 months before we went exclusive so was easy for me YES we have been together for about a year now which is great but now i have a job which keeps me overseas for long extended periods of time so i guess i have insecurities and doubts hence my posting(first timer) so thank you for your responses
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Wile_Coyote_69
11 years ago
ok well the one thing that changes in monogamy is u end up having kids (lets be serious) So once u have kids it changes but it changes for the good and becomes less about u. So the radical change is not so hard when the focus of ur attention shifts from u to the wife/gf and the child - u stop being so far up your own ass as it were, u will be fine mate
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Hottie1
11 years ago
I was asked by a gorgeous lover, could I give up the swinging lifestyle if I had to. Yes, my focus is my primary relationship with my husband. I lost my virginity to him at 22 years old, and we started swinging or experimenting in 2013, we had been married to the exclusion of any others for 21 years at that point in time. I play way more than hubby and that was part of the decision making process, we don't have matching libidos and I'm fortunate to have that encouragement. I would miss the intimacy and fucking I enjoy with many of our friends we have made, but I would not risk my relationship with hubby 😍 Mary xx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
the decision will be based on age. Every year I review the mirror to see if it's time to retire the stilettos. My makeup procedure is starting to resemble a Hollywood special effects effort. I can and have been monogamous for years at a time. When I can't go shopping without causing a fuss, then I know it will be time to pull up stumps for fear of causing uncomfortable meets with shocked new playmates. But after last night, 2015 will not be the year. Woo woo. This old tranny can still rock on her heels. And who knows, maybe someday before then someone will make an honest woman of me. Until then, I'm lovinit........
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RHP User
11 years ago
would be monogamous, In my way of thinking there is nothing better then being with one person you love and as I am very intimate I would gladly go back to it. My marriage was fantastic and I loved every minute of it , when I would find something like this again why be on here???? It's not a thrill for me to be on here, its just a release to have sex sometimes with someone. I find sex with intimacy much more rewarding and satisfying, so yes monogamy would suit me much better.
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RHP User
11 years ago
and I don't have a 'the more the merrier' lifestyle. I do however have a couple of solid FWB relationships and I can't see myself wanting to stop seeing them if a committed relationship comes along. I think that ethical non-monogamy is the way I'd like to live my life.
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RHP User
11 years ago
At least, not for me. I've only been in one monogamous relationship and that was akin to a year of torture and a cycle of endless frustration. And that was one singular year, I can only imagine multiple years would drive me insane. I feel fortunate that in this day in age for the younger, contemporary generations (that aren't bound by religious or cultural codes of expectation) I'm not obligated to live my life in any way other than the one I want. Keeping within the law most times of course. ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'ag4mg92' I was asked by a gorgeous lover, could I give up the swinging lifestyle if I had to. Yes, my focus is my primary relationship with my husband. I lost my virginity to him at 22 years old, and we started swinging or experimenting in 2013, we had been married to the exclusion of any others for 21 years at that point in time. I play way more than hubby and that was part of the decision making process, we don't have matching libidos and I'm fortunate to have that encouragement. I would miss the intimacy and fucking I enjoy with many of our friends we have made, but I would not risk my relationship with hubby 😍 Mary xx As MAry put it so well - you would do it to preserve your relationship. What I'm liking is her relationship with hubby - they recognise the need for good sex life, and realise that playing with others add spice to their own relationship. If the right person was so dead set on monogamy would it still be the right person for you..?!? They are sounding more restrictive rather than looking after your needs..!
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RHP User
11 years ago
My experience has been similar to what Ralf wrote. I currently love my life choices and how and who I choose to play with. Im not intentionally looking for a monogomous partner/relationship,but, it could happen. Years ago after my very straight marriage ended, I was ready to venture out and find myself. I was on AMM and had some amazing first time experiences with guys and couples, and a few fun visits to swingers clubs. Was totally enjoying my freedom to be and do what I wanted, then met up with a guy on AMM and it was "boom" for both of us. Neither of us felt any need to continue with that lifestyle and didnt even look at it as sacrificing our so called sexual freedom, we were both just into each other. We were together for 8 yrs as defacto, before it ran its course and we parted ways. 2 yrs after that, I was back in the mind set of exploring, so ive been online for 12 months again now. Again Im having a blast,met some great ppl, some I continue to see as friends.And having some amazing sexual experiences. So yes OP it can be an easy transition from one life choice to another. Just go with what life throws your way.
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RHP User
11 years ago
And not the metaphorical type. Been there done that. This bird was born to fly ...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Anyone crazy enough to want to have a relationship with me is too crazy to be trusted. Catch 22 so not by personal will but via uncommitted deep seated psychological madness I am in with the poly crowd.
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RHP User
11 years ago
For the right person, I can be flexible :-)
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6exxy
11 years ago
Looking ha ha but happy to entertain until I do 😘
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RHP User
11 years ago
Painty.you should have been a Go -Go dancer in the 60's...cages were de reigur 😘xxFreya
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RHP User
11 years ago
ok so heres an updated looks like my fears where valid you can take the girl out of the party but not the party of the girl
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RHP User
11 years ago
Well I have been in a monogamous relations for 15 years. And it's recently opened up. I guess it also depends on your definition of monogamy - for some it's being married to one person, for others it's being intimate with only one person at a time - emotionally and physically, and for some - it's not loving more than one person at a time. I have realised that it's possible to have feelings for more than person, and that having relationships with others whether it's FWB or something more is how I am wired. I guess the question is not whether you could do it - because I think most people could - but whether it would be suppressing an important part of who your really are. Doing this might be possible - but are you being true to yourself? Food for thought......
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RHP User
11 years ago
I would give it a try - but what does it mean " you can take the girl out of the party but not the party of the girl"? Why is it that men can get away with not being in a monogamous relationship but if a woman does that then she is "weird"? Who was talking about partying? What if it is an independence thing - by not going exclusive you give the opportunity for the other person to be free and not caged - that is not linked to partying like it is 1999 all the time...It is giving the option of "having experiences outside of the cage" - what is that a bad thing?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sorry to hear that masterwa69 😞. But not all women are the same. I have been single for over 3 years and have recently met the most amazing, wonderful man. I love monogamy! The sex just gets better and better the more you get to know your partner. 😍👍
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RHP User
11 years ago
If that was indeed what you were after, sadly IMO it would be very difficult gaining a successful monogamous relationship with a fellow member.... Not to say it's impossible, just I'm thinking rare..... We have a very similar story to Shells.... Done it all arse about face if you like... We are very much in love with each other and we are our ultimate goal! I hope you find what you are looking for :))
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RHP User
11 years ago
If I met someone who blew me away mentally and sexually, I would have no problems being in a monogamous relationship. As it is Id be quite happy just with one on one in a FWB situation. But there are not many guys on here who feel the same way, so it probably wont happen. I might add, Im perfectly happy being a minglingsingle right now.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I was monogamous with my two ex husbands over a period of 22yrs. Have no problem with that sort of commitment long term. But I do know long term how it can end if you can keep a good sexual relationship going. So after much experimentation I dont know if it is option for me in the future. At this point I would hope to build a strong base relationship that allows others into our bed to play. But always play together never seperate and I dont think I could give up women now that I have discovered what lovely sexual creatures they are to me. Who knows what the future will bring :)** always have my crazy old cat lady plan to fall back on **
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RHP User
11 years ago
Such a shame. To answer the OP: I think it is possible for me to give up the party scene for the right person. I think open and honest communication are key to making it work. Right now I am no where near the point of allowing that to happen. But if the enjoyment I feel for my lifestyle changes I will then look at changing my lifestyle. Baz xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Always good to have a plan B. Your "crazy old cat lady" is hilarious 😂
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm far too bisexual to ever be monogamous again. Could I commit to a relationship with a fellow swinger? Possibly. Would take another independent person like myself but I honestly can't see that happening anytime soon, I'm having far too much fun!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Have been thinking about finding that special person for life's all. I could give it all up for her if we had that honest connection :) however I think it would be nicer to meet a lady that shares this lifestyle with me.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'masterwa69' ok so heres an updated looks like my fears where valid you can take the girl out of the party but not the party of the girl There are those that can and will commit to a monogamous relationship and there are those that stray. This isn't necessarily symptomatic of a non-vanilla site as there are genuinely those on RHP partying until they find the one they want to be exclusive with. I hope you have better luck in finding someone more on the same page as you. LG
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RHP User
11 years ago
..... I wonder whether the more that one is exposed to multiple partners/ experiences desensitizes us .... if this challenges monogamy ...... and therefore hybridised monogamous 'love' and open/shared relationship has more chance after a hectic open sexual lifestyle ?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Easily. But I am not a swinger/player anyway. Now, could I give up the forums for a committed relationship?? That's a different question entirely...
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think I've gone full circle, then bounced off on some alternate trajectory. We did the whole swinging and open relationship thing, then I came to the realization that theonly woman who truly did it for me was the bride.Would I ever go back to getting involved with otherwomen, never say never, but-and I have had a few opportunities, so far Mr apathetic has emerged with hiscould I really be bothered, do I really want to complicate my life attitude and decided to let sleeping dogs lie. Cheers, N
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Missb72' agree...but I would expect any relationship I entered into would still allow for additional playmates occasionally to join us. ^^^ What she said :) But it wouldn't have to be all that often. Having said that, the few memories of sex while in love are burned much more strongly in my brain than any 'episode' since.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think the way OP asks the question implies it's seen as a reluctant step. I'm not so sure it really works that way. Sometimes (often) a couple can fall for one another so fully, that everyone else goes by the wayside. That's what love is - ( or limerence - Google it if you aren't sure, I did). From my experience, I tend to find you don't have much of a choice as to whether love happens or not. So the 'could' part of the question above, doesn't really come into play. There may be those out there who can say that they might never love one person enough to want only them & no-one else. Maybe others feel a different way, this is just my perspective. The real challenge comes, of course, when the feelings of each side starts to develop/change/diverge. But that relationships for you.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Dear Op, I'm sorry to hear that things didn't work out for you. Two years ago I was on this site hooking up with guys (as I was single, but didn't want to be celibate!) and actually met my fiancé on here! We are both fairly vanilla, and were after sex while waiting for the right person to come along. Ironically, I was not interested in hooking up with him, he just seemed like a really nice guy who had been burnt by a few women and I thought he could really use a friend. We were friends for a few months before things developed into a relationship. We are completely monogamous and very happy together (and are getting married later this year). I guess it really depends on why someone is on this site. If they have pretty wild tastes - they might struggle with monogamy. However judging from the men I've met on here, there are a lot of people who would be open to a traditional relationship with the right person. Best wishes for your RHP adventures : ) Bella x
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