M48 F46

What are your red flags?

June 09 2011

Hi forum followers, hubby and I are really new to RHP, having fun looking around and getting to know some lovely people, but would love to get some advice from those who know RHP well! What are your red flags or signs that someone is fake or a time waster etc??? Im sure after spending some time around this site their would be signs to make them more obvious. So the other night we were invited to chat on msn with a female of a couple, it was our 1st time chatting on msn (see we are really new LOL)! After some small talk they asked to do video chat - it was a week night and late and not looking my best declined but was persuaded, but then their video was apparently broken so we couldn't see her! The chat was really good kind of getting to know you, and a little about what experiences we'd had and a suggestion of a meet for a drink. We got disconnected a couple of times and when we resumed chatting was asked to do video again, which I agreed to but said well I hope Im not chatting to some dirty old man, the reply was lol "do I chat like a man"? all in all the chat was fun but was it real? So still confused as to if I was talking to the sexy female, or a dirty old man, or even a person conducting a study??? Are there any other things that make you hesitant or question a profile???

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RHP User

15 years ago

Yes we have had the same experience , so we don't do video chats at all , the other issue we have had has been the female of a couple not turning for a meet and greet, and the male half getting all upset when we have made our goodbyes etc . The other one to be careful of is the picture of who ever we were going to meet was ten years old or so and when you meet they are not what you thought they'd be or simply grossly overweight , so its really a case of be on your guard and be prepared to say" no" when you have too . Not withstanding all this we have met some really nice couples and guys

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RHP User

15 years ago

Hi feelin_randyWe are only new to this also but after a month on here this is what we have found...Most messages come from the male... i have had the chance to chat to some real nice lady's via the messagesWe always sign our messages with who is writing them... Deb (Deb n Bob) or the other way around if Bob writes the message.I will NOT do video chat... never have and never will!!! Thats what you pictures are for in your gallery! Girls have a different style of chatting on msn i have found and normally you can pick if a guy or girl is making the comments, if they are getting real dirty then it normally is the dirty old man that is on the other end lolHave fun with it all and the old saying "go with your gut feeling" does come into play here alot.CheersDeb

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RHP User

15 years ago

Hey feelin_randy thats a classic golden oldey right there! Oh and did they use "babe" a lot? Dont fall for that pearler. If they wont cam up, tell them to look you up once they either get it fixed or fork out the bucks to get a new one.They are crapping on. I tend not to do the MSN thing as I find Instant messageing here works well. Also I generally dont like haveing a "cold call" chat with someone and find chat room is good for that as Ive either seen who Im talking to on cam in there first or have engaged in conversation with them to see if I/we "click". Nothing worse then getting stuck chatting to someone that you dont find interesting.Thats where the old "oops sorry im having technical issues" can help with you!"the get out of jail free card" I call it.I really dont care who Im talking to in IM(Private chat) from a couple that i have had contact with as long as they tell me the truth.If they get caught out woe be them..Im also not not shy in telling them what I think of being mislead..Good Luck xxx

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RHP User

15 years ago

For us it is couple who want to do msn or video cams - we have always found that these couples never really want to met, they just enjoy the online side of swinging. We like couples who give a number up front and happy to met for a drink to have a chat face to face.

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RHP User

15 years ago

I agree with all the above comments but have to admit that we then wouldn't get past your red flags as we only play rarely as we have busy lives outside of this and this is only a very small part of us. SO when we see someone we like, we're not going to free up a whole weekend (we usually don't live close enough for a 30 minute check out). SO we DO like msn, not to talk dirty and get off but to have on when we're online so we can keep in touch so when planets align and we have time free when others do we can meet up. We find a lot of people think this is too slow but there's also a lot of fakes out there and we're not wasting time meeting up quickly only to have a no show. We have found this works extremely well for us as we seem to end up meeting people we really want to meet. Gee our last new friends we had been keeping in touch off and on for nearly 2 years then one day bumped into each other on msn, organised a meet for the next weekend and had the most wonderful time.Our red flags though: the people (couple or singles) who just must cam or they wont communicate any more. In our experience nearly 100% of these people are ONLY after cam, which we find deadly boring and very unflattering. Next is people who even though they have seen a sexy pic or two and we've shown our faces to want more and more photos....why? There's way hotter free porn out there than our photos. We like to see one or two photos of people - if they are clear shots then we get the idea of whether or eyes will be excited but that's only really a fraction of how sexy someone is..we need to be in the same room to judge the rest! Umm any more red flags? Oh the ones that are so pushy and adamant that they will have sex on the first date...like don't we all like to feel just a little special? Any more? Not really but messages predominantly using phrases like "we really like the look of use, do use want to meet?" have us accidentally forgetting that they messaged us. Does this make me a snob?

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RHP User

15 years ago

Really appreciate all the replies, some good advice. Being new we still don't mind doing a little MSN, or phone chats (with the hope it leads to a meet up/drink), and we are yet to do a real video chat LOL! I'm sure after doing a few of them they would get a bit repetative, or time consuming. Still not sure how me sitting in a tshirt with no makeup could be all that appealing to anyone to watch, but the chat part was pretty good - no "babe", but a little cutie and sexy, and the chat wasn't dirty at all! To be honest wouldn't have been surprised if they were chatting to a few people at once, maybe they are just an msn addict! I guess when it comes to meeting new people, it would be best for us to be prepared for the worst, that way we wont be disappointed when they have aged 10 years and doubled in size Puppy, I agree with uses fully! Nup uses aren't snobs!!!

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DonnaBrett

15 years ago

If you make contact with a couple/girl who say they seriously want to meet people the only way to verify they/she are not in fact some creepy loser guy getting his jollies is to talk on the phone! If a phone chat is not made within one week of initial contact or they have not agreed via email to an actual meeting date then generally they are time wasters. Oh..and if it's a couple...make sure the female does the talking! Save the msn and camming until after you have met them!

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RHP User

15 years ago

1/ If you do use MSN: They start asking if you like MFM 3 somes. Caming. Swapping more than just a couple clothed photos/ 2/ Talking on phone, All FOUR have to talk not just the guy or just the girl. 3/ Making excuses, not to meet or phone. 4/Only photos showing the pink bits. Like we cant reconise you in public by those!

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RHP User

15 years ago

Just last weekend I was messaging a couple on here back and forth. They wanted me to come straight to their house, which is in a rural area, without meeting. We had exchanged photos and although they weren't models I was still willing to meet. It's not always about the cover. When I said I couldn't make it that night and wanted to meet prior they said no thanks. Which I readily agreed with. Definite Red Flag.I have swung as part of a couple and if the people aren't willing to meet prior, they are usually hardcore swingers or don't match their profile. A lot of people will call that time wasters, but I call it common sense.If it doesn't feel right don't do it.Trust your judgement I have found 99% of swingers I have met to be really nice people, down to earth, regular people.Enjoy your time on here it's a lot of fun.

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RHP User

15 years ago

What the others said is what we have found too.. after going from beginners to swingers in 2 years... Forget msn and video cams, we ask for recent face and body pics (why beat around the bush) then if all still interested we exchange phone numbers and try and line up a drink meet. Usually at a coffee shop for us, not at their house (dont want to get stuck their and feel obligated if their scarey..lol) Cam rooms can be fun, and on odd occasions we have put on a show. But same as chat programs, easy to chat forever and never meet, which is great if you just want a thrill. However for us, we want to meet and maybe play...not collect penpals. Bernie and Kat

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