F50
Three Way Fallout
December 26 2012
Comments
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playfulminx
13 years ago
I'm sorry to hear about your experience :( Unfortunately I think you'll need to give your friend a wide berth until they sort it out, then you can see if you can salvage the friendship. I don't think it's a good idea to approach the partner until you get some indication from your friend that all is well.Some women who initiate the threesome are OK about it until they stop being the 'star'. If the attention is no longer on them, and it's clear the other two people in the party can easily have fun without them, things get ugly :| You didn't do anything wrong. Many other women in the same situation may have stood back and watched and got off on it.I have to say I avoid getting dirty with friends. Just never seems to work out well. Sadly you learnt that the hard way :(Fingers crossed for you. If the relationship is new and this is just the tip of the iceberg where flipping out is concerned, you might have your friend back sooner than later, minus the partner :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
is indeed a disinhibitor,sometimes for good and sometimes for not so good.It was probably the catylst that got you into the bedroom in the first place.It sounds like it was very spontaneous and your friend's wife was not expecting to see you and your friend so completely into each other....without her.Jealousy was the result. The question I ask you Madam Purr is if you could revisit that night what if anything would you do differently? Often it is not what is happening in the moment that is the problem but what that moment triggers in memory.Perhaps she has always wondered whether or not you and your friend were really into each other and what happened that night confirmed in her mind her suspicions. This may not be a friendship you can salvage,as playfulminx has said,wait for your friend to contact you and take your cue from him.
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Cheekyarses
13 years ago
I'm so sorry to hear about this ordeal you had to go through If your friend is as close as you believe you are, then this will pass n true friends never give up on true friends! Was this a test for you n your friend? The other girl involved sounds very threatened n lacks alot of confidence in herself, which would not make you feel any better! All you can do is continue being there for your friend as he too will be going through a very confused n hurt time too! Keep us up to date on how it all goes...
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'CheekyArses' Was this a test for you n your friend? The other girl involved sounds very threatened n lacks alot of confidence in herself, which would not make you feel any better! I hadn't thought of that, but we don't really know each other very well. I don't really think so, although of course it's possible. As far as being there for me friend, I'm not sure that's really possible either! We're both (all?) going to the same party on the 28th. I'm wondering if I should contact Mr just to give a heads up and mention that I'd like to take a walk with her? I feel that we went in to this as adults and maybe we can deal with it in the same way - by communicating. I want to assure her I guess that she has nothing to worry about from me, that it was mostly about her for me, and if she hadn't been there it wouldn't have happened at all, and also if she hadn't been the one to suggest it first I wouldn't have gone there either. It feels like such a mess!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'playfulminx' Some women who initiate the threesome are OK about it until they stop being the 'star'. If the attention is no longer on them, and it's clear the other two people in the party can easily have fun without them, things get ugly :| You didn't do anything wrong. Many other women in the same situation may have stood back and watched and got off on it.I have to say I avoid getting dirty with friends. Just never seems to work out well. Sadly you learnt that the hard way :(Fingers crossed for you. If the relationship is new and this is just the tip of the iceberg where flipping out is concerned, you might have your friend back sooner than later, minus the partner :)So much here! Mr did kind of suggest that he was ok with this all ending. That makes me feel even worse though! Again, it could have been the vodka talking. She was definitely the star for a good length of time with loads of attention from us both. And she was so in to it!I never anticipated getting sexy with friends for just this reason. God, am I wishing I hadn't!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Freya13' is indeed a disinhibitor,sometimes for good and sometimes for not so good.It was probably the catylst that got you into the bedroom in the first place.It sounds like it was very spontaneous and your friend's wife was not expecting to see you and your friend so completely into each other....without her.Jealousy was the result. The question I ask you Madam Purr is if you could revisit that night what if anything would you do differently? Often it is not what is happening in the moment that is the problem but what that moment triggers in memory.Perhaps she has always wondered whether or not you and your friend were really into each other and what happened that night confirmed in her mind her suspicions. This may not be a friendship you can salvage,as playfulminx has said,wait for your friend to contact you and take your cue from him.It was very spontaneous although I'm sure they must have discussed the possibility of another in their bed before. If I could revisit, I would have left before then! I guess there are a number of subtle things that may or may not have changed the outcome. Or if we weren't enjoying ourselves quite so much without her.....I can't help but think that that was fair, considering I was invited in to their bed, she had just gone to the toilet, what were we expected to do??
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Cheekyarses
13 years ago
Be the better person! Go to the party on the 28th with your head held high! Say hello to both of them, smile n continue to enjoy yourself at the party. After being at the party for awhile, approach them again n start a conversation. If they do not want your company - wish them both well n continue to enjoy yourself at the party. But do not give in to their ( well to her ) negative attitude! Xxx
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RHP User
13 years ago
the party,but maybe send him a text message first just to let them know that you will be there.If they are there, just smile and say hello.You obviously mix in the same circles so don't let this incident affect your other friendships .Don't gossip about them to your other friends because it will have a ripple effect and make the situation worse. This is a horrible situation to be in Madame Purr,but as Cheeky has said,be the better person,and enjoy yourself regardless of what their reaction will be to seeing you again.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I am so sorry this happened to you...Yes it would have been an embarrassing situation to be in not only that a messy friendship to sort out. :(Bring a third person into any relationship and it becomes a "Drama Triangle" and can quite MESSY indeed.I agree with FREYA 13 Don't gossip about them to your other friends because it will have a ripple effect and make the situation worse.For me personally this is why I do not do threesomes..it can ruin friendships and relationships if done within circle of friends..No way am I against Threesomes and will not judge people who do them. It really is OK and is going to be OK.I have girlfriends who time and time again are put in very similar situations.I have had one girlfriend who's male partner left her for the other woman - crushed her soul then- when she looks back now was the best thing that happened to her as it was all about his EGO.May I suggest not attendin to the party on the 28th..Main reasons being to allow for breathing space for all people involved as it's still very raw and fresh.I am only saying this as the OTHER woman may cause a scene is she has had way too many to drink especially if she did react badly upon returning from the loo's ..IF she has a nasty streak she will be watching you like a hawk at the party..No matter what you do she find anything to fault you...BUT then again if she was MATURED about the situation she may just may come and apologize?? chances are slim tho...If you have not spoken with your MALE friend since the" incident" you really don't know what has been said and happened between the two of them...But the sounds of it they have their OWN issues in relationship.HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH and give her nothing to react to....Good Luck and hope this turns out the best for you :)PS- Keep us informed :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Unfortunately some are control freaks as long as it goes all their way, alcohol doesn't help, because you played without her the green eyed beast arrived. Sometimes people say it is okay but then the twinge of jealousy kicks in, who knows what triggered off this episode, hopefully it will pass. Give it a little time then perhaps express your regrets of the outcome, that you didn't mean to upset/offend this woman(even though it was her not you), extending the olive branch in some cases may help or at least diffuse the situation somewhat when you next meet.
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On_Safari
13 years ago
.....I have lost a friendship in a similar fashion. I introduced a girlfriend to a man friend and all was going swimmingly until she stipulated that he wasn't allowed to have sex with me anymore. WTF??? I had no issue with the way things were going....I had known this guy for over 10yrs, been sexing with him for a couple of years and to help out a mate get over her desirability issues after a divorce encouraged her to play with my lover.....and then I was made out to be the bad person in all of it. Here I was thinking sharing was caring!!! Lol Anyway, I think if you're going to play those games then it's best left far from home and hearth. Long-term Friends and thier partners are a definate no-no for me. BUT on the upshot....if you make those friends here fully knowing what's going to happen some truly beautiful long-term friendships can be made.....RHP Couples Rock!
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On_Safari
13 years ago
....you've done nothing wrong. Smile and be beautiful, if they move to chat to you then fair enough. If they don't then just enjoy your other friends and have a great time.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFox'I am so sorry this happened to you...Yes it would have been an embarrassing situation to be in not only that a messy friendship to sort out. :(Bring a third person into any relationship and it becomes a "Drama Triangle" and can quite MESSY indeed.I agree with FREYA 13 Don't gossip about them to your other friends because it will have a ripple effect and make the situation worse.For me personally this is why I do not do threesomes..it can ruin friendships and relationships if done within circle of friends..No way am I against Threesomes and will not judge people who do them. It really is OK and is going to be OK.I have girlfriends who time and time again are put in very similar situations.I have had one girlfriend who's male partner left her for the other woman - crushed her soul then- when she looks back now was the best thing that happened to her as it was all about his EGO.May I suggest not attendin to the party on the 28th..Main reasons being to allow for breathing space for all people involved as it's still very raw and fresh.I am only saying this as the OTHER woman may cause a scene is she has had way too many to drink especially if she did react badly upon returning from the loo's ..IF she has a nasty streak she will be watching you like a hawk at the party..No matter what you do she find anything to fault you...BUT then again if she was MATURED about the situation she may just may come and apologize?? chances are slim tho...If you have not spoken with your MALE friend since the" incident" you really don't know what has been said and happened between the two of them...But the sounds of it they have their OWN issues in relationship.HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH and give her nothing to react to....Good Luck and hope this turns out the best for you :)PS- Keep us informed :) My first instinct Madam Purr is to tell you to go to the party ...and to hell with the others and what they think..and enjoy yourself accordingly...as Michevious said....its their issue not yours.....but its always easier said than done...and no matter what has or hasnt been discussed between both of them I do know that so far no one has really discussed all of this with you - unless you have had contact with your friend or the wife (since posting) who owes you an apology Im a confrontational person..I have no issue if something is said directly to me ...and as I said at one time I would say to you go to party and enjoy , but as Ive grown older..well life is too short to put yourself in situations riddled with angst and potential problems and issues...and the host of the party doesnt deserve that either But thats me...situations like this no longer bother me...I just shake my head at shite and move on ....Im not saying to do this..Im just urging you to do what feels rite for you and you only.....:) Like Superfox..I rarely do threesomes anymore...Ive met more couples with issues etc , than without..and somehow I get stuck in the middle of it...and end up having a shite nite and all Ive done it turned up and tried to enjoy and pleasure both parties..only to be damned......Im so over that now..Id rather stay home and watch a good DVD..Im happy to play with couples but only if they truly got their shit together but to be honest prefer to play as four... Either way Madam Purr....may you end up having a lovely nite..:) x
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RHP User
13 years ago
The old saying rings true in most instances, more often than not there is the excitement of something new but after that, if one person is a control merchant or an attention seeker(it is all good if they are involved but outside of that they have troubles), then invariably you will always have trouble. Maybe this person felt threatened that is the reason for the hissy fit, how long their relationship last will be interesting especially if she carries on like that, eitherway, threesomes can work but all have to be like minded and perhaps some ground rules/understanding set out before embarking on their sexual adventure
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RHP User
13 years ago
Gossip is one thing I despise. I refuse to listen to it and definitely don't participate in it. It has a lot to do with growing up in a small country town....So, no worries on that one!I did have contact with Mr the following day. They are trying to work it out. Apparently she feels that he cheated on her. Fuck hey?! So, they're working on it. When I asked (via text) 'and me?'. The answer I got was, 'well, I guess we won't be having dinner anytime soon.' I guess not!To complicate things further, he's my landlord! And does his own maintenance and the old fashioned rent collecting in person. I imagine that's all about to change too!I do plan on going to the party. And I plan to be adult about it too. I will look smoking hot, I'll smile and say hi and see what happens. I will definitely maintain integrity and maturity and hope that she can too.Thanks everyone for your support and advice. I'll keep you posted!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'MadamPurr' Gossip is one thing I despise. I refuse to listen to it and definitely don't participate in it. It has a lot to do with growing up in a small country town....So, no worries on that one!I did have contact with Mr the following day. They are trying to work it out. Apparently she feels that he cheated on her. Fuck hey?! So, they're working on it. When I asked (via text) 'and me?'. The answer I got was, 'well, I guess we won't be having dinner anytime soon.' I guess not!To complicate things further, he's my landlord! And does his own maintenance and the old fashioned rent collecting in person. I imagine that's all about to change too!I do plan on going to the party. And I plan to be adult about it too. I will look smoking hot, I'll smile and say hi and see what happens. I will definitely maintain integrity and maturity and hope that she can too.Thanks everyone for your support and advice. I'll keep you posted! I take my hat off to you...very courageous and brave. Well done!! I have a good gut feeling things well turn out for the best for you MadamPurr - with your positive attitude IT WILL!! BRAVO...GO GIRL!! :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
hi, if you dislike gossip I would strongly recommend not mixing your play mates with RL mates, obviously this encounter has happened and there is nothing you can do but give them time to sort each others problems out, the green eyed monster can appear at the most unlikely of moments and put a stop to any encounter! :(Good luck with your future and I thank you for sharing an important topic
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting '2GuysWithRespect' hi, if you dislike gossip I would strongly recommend not mixing your play mates with RL mates, obviously this encounter has happened and there is nothing you can do but give them time to sort each others problems out, the green eyed monster can appear at the most unlikely of moments and put a stop to any encounter! :(Good luck with your future and I thank you for sharing an important topic Hmm, well, if all my faculties had been operating fully, I sincerely doubt this would have occurred. Fear not - lesson well and truly learned! Friends are friends and friends only!Another lesson? Alcohol can severely impede your judgement. you'd think I would have that one worked out way before now, but hey! We're all human and fuck up right?BTW, you guys rock! And party tomorrow. I shall keep you informed! Oh, and just for some reassurance, I'm definitely NOT going looking for a confrontation or an apology, but to enjoy a rockin time with my mates :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Have a purr-fectly fantastic night
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RHP User
13 years ago
To play with others takes a lot of trust from everyone and you can't have jealousy I invited a guy in our bedroom for my wife as it had always been a fantacy of mine to see her with another guy the first meet was unreal but I found the second time we met although I was involved I felt a little left out as most he attention was on my wife and because he was the guest she focused on him so he didn't feel left out. Now I didnt go off but afterward I told my wife how I felt and she was sorry and didn't realize I was feeling left out as she was just carried away in the moment. After our talked we have met the same guy 3 more times and it seems to be getting better every time we meet because we have put more trust in each other even to the stage were for christmas he had a fantacy of her turning up to his work with a candy cane in her pussy and as a present he got to pull it out and strangely enough I was turned on by her going over there alone and she told me in detail what she did when she got back:-) So what im trying to say madampurr is you have done nothing wrong if your friend and his partner dont have trust thats there problem not yours remember she invited you and if she was uncomfortable she shouldn't take it out on anybody she should look at why she felt that way and she may find it was something sily and if she works on it she may enjoy some group play. We have a great friendship with our male friend and now looking at inviting a girl into the bedroom. remember No 1 rule when playing trust your partner. Sex and love are 2 different things
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'MadamPurr'I did have contact with Mr the following day. They are trying to work it out. Apparently she feels that he cheated on her. Fuck hey?! So, they're working on it. When I asked (via text) 'and me?'. The answer I got was, 'well, I guess we won't be having dinner anytime soon.' I guess not!The issue here is between them. I know MrSplicey and I have spoken about the rules should we have a threesome (with a male or a woman). If I were to have a toilet break and came back and he was breaking one of those rules I would most likely kick the third party out, and I would expect MrSplicey to do the same in return. My annoyance would be at MrSplicey though, but in the moment I might be a little cranky If they didn't set down rules before they started then that's their fault. Not yours. You said yourself that you made sure it was okay with all before entering. I can't see how you did anything wrong. MrsSplicey
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RHP User
13 years ago
They weren't at the party. Phew. So, I relaxed and had a great night :)I just ran into them at the local pool. He smiled and waved. She hadn't seen me yet. I took my time to dry off and gather myself, then wandered over to say 'hi' and 'happy new year'. She smiled - just and was very guarded. We made a little small talk, I asked about their holiday.Then I took a breath and asked if she would like to come over for a cuppa and a chat. Pause. 'Um, maybe. I'll think about it and let you know.' That's better than "I'll fucking kill you" anyway! I don't imagine it will happen anytime soon, but at least the ice has been cracked if not broken.It was weird. None of the usual warmth and exuberance, but we got through the first meeting. I'll keep ya posted!
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RHP User
13 years ago
from Mr to talk about rent and my dishwasher (he's my landlord). There was a very little said about the 'incident' as he feels he can't really talk to me about it and keep her happy at the same time. And, it turns out he would rather come when I'm not here to install the dishwasher (I totally trust him with that) to avoid any possible dramas. And can I leave the rent money on the bench!Well, I let him know that I was upset, I'm glad they're working it out, but it feels so unfair that the two of them can be cool and move on, but not be cool with me. I told him that I feel like I've lost a friend and he said 'Me too.' He also thanked me for reaching out to Mrs at the pool the other day and says he'll support and encourage that contact.Of course, he's doing the partner thing and is in damage control. I get that. But it's still pretty fucked.So sad. I found big, fat, silent tears rolling down my face then, and even now. Couple's please make sure of your boundaries before playing, make them clear and one thing I've learned....Don't Fuck Your Mates!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Sorry to hear it ended this way MadamPurr. I hope they will realise their (her?) issues have nothing to do with you. Hugs x
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RHP User
13 years ago
I suspect your friend will be back....and because sometimes I am a cynic ,perhaps what she wanted all along was for you and he to not be friends. xxHugs Freya
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RHP User
13 years ago
Leave a pair of HAAAWT knickers not far from the money.... take careful notice of EXACTLY how and where they are.. ... When you come back.. check.. see if he has touched them.. OR more :) I would leave a tasty present in them if I was in his boat and you did it :) But.. maybe I am bent :)
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