That strange empty feeling...

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  I had that happen to me not long ago, about a month ago actually. I was a bit disappointed, even felt the slight urge to cry for the 5 mins after I finished talking to him on the phone, but didn't. I went out and danced my arse off that night, felt so much better, the next day I was back to normal. It was a bit of a dent to my ego, in truth, and rejection regardless of the relationship is never pleasent.   The fact that he wasn't a very good friend or lover (as i've previously mentioned in past posts) helped my recovery enormously.   just be realistic, and it helps if you're not too emotionally involved. a little bit is good, you need that for intimacy and some kind of connection. However, too much and you're just setting yourself up for disappointment and heartache.   Also, looking for someone new is great, as much as I hate the cliche, there are heaps of fish out there. Who knows, some may be even better than the one in the past.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Hey Michael... did you want to try the relationship thing out with her? If you were happy with the situation how it was, maybe she sensed that and moved on to someone who did want to take things further... Can't blame a girl for that and it's not your fault either, seems you just wanted different things...   And that strange, empty feeling? It pretty much goes away when you feel that tiny warm thrill of excitement in your belly for the next girl... and the future promise of that exhilarating feeling is what makes moments like these bearable in my opinion.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Well this is a frequent occurence for a bloke like me, being married and all.... I initially feel loss but I shield it because I quickly recognize that I'm genuinely very happy that my fb has the opportunity for a special relationship and I wouldn't feel good about being in the way of it. It's something I can't/won't offer. Then I want frequent reports on all the details so I can sabat... errr I mean... offer moral support. :p. Old fb's morph can into friends with whom you can share the most intimate thoughts. You can't help but feel close to someone who's armpit you've been licking, you know what I mean Michael? Hugs Gaz

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Hi Michael, Sounds to me like you may have become a bit attached to your FB.Thats totally understandable, particulalry if its someone you get along with very well.I am sort of feeling the same about a girl i see and have decided to cool it a bit, because i dont want to be attached..... Your girl must have found someone she liked as more than a sexual thing....If you found someone like that im sure no one would blame you for persuing it.   Good Luck mate...

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  Almost_Ready

  16 years ago

  easier said than done in some instances, but if you cant then you were in a relationship. Perhaps you need to let her know how you feel?   Cheers   Oldog

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Thanks all for the posts and support so far...   Casava, you're pretty spot on, there was a little connection for the intimacy, but she wasn't the one....   Sophie, I had considered it, to which I'm sure she would have been willing, but I didn't think it would last so I'm pretty sure she did move on because she was after a little more than mad monkey sex with ice-cubes and handcuffs ;P   Gaz, you've just coined the ordof the week...sabo-support...for those who want to appear to care while servicing their own agenda ;P   and Single1....as I said above, there was a connection there, but I've had connections before and I'm sure I'll have them again....just upgraed my membership so I'm seriously on the prowl now!!!   Thanks again guys and Gals!!!   Michael   P.S. Sister Sophie...I don't know if you've ever had a sympathy shag....but my bed is empty now...;P

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Take it as an opportunity to find out what else is out thereTake your ipod, run out all of you tension and go out with some mates (always works for me!)Use what you learned from her and find someone new to have an occasional raw primal romp with, you might be pleasently suprised at what you find!You know what they say, when one door closes another opens

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Firstly, my simpathy. Fuck buddies are good, limited, companions. They are hard to find.   My advice is get busy finding the next one.   Sorry to be hard, but if there was more in the last one you left it too late and the ship has sailed.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Michael, I'm feeling your pain mate! I had a FB for 7 and a half yrs and we even lived together for 2yrs. We had an extremely passionate sex life (best ive had to this day) but we were also best mates. He started seeing another woman and within a yr married her!! I was devastated, not just because id lost my FB but because I knew i'd lost the intimacy we shared as mates too. That was last November..he's unhappy and has told me that and we've even hooked up on the sly a few times. Anyway, it still makes me sad to this day and angry that I don't get to fuck him at my leisure but over time you do get over it and it is fun searching for a new FB lol Good luck and hope it all works out for you, Cheers Elljae xx

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  and clearly it is now time that you found another f/b....and be happy for all the great times you had together...and know that you have a really intimate friend...cheers, chin up and good luck...Jose...

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Hi Michael..I have to agree with whats been said by all....You can also view it as it wasnt meant to be.as im a great believer in thats things happen for a reason..usually in hindsight and can help us grow has a person.a hug for you

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Thanks again everyone...it seems from these posts that it's gonna be great fun getting bach on someones saddle!   But I suppose no story is complete without some background.   I had a FB before this one, she was 27, had a 3yr old child and no time for a relationship...but we both had needs. We oth agreed it would only be sex, no commitment, no emotional attachment.   Turns out (without blowing my own trumpet, because unlike Gaz I'm not that flexible) Iwas very good at what I was doing, and she fell very hard for me. She suppressed her emotions until I started to sense she wanted much more nd I talked with her about this.   Turns out she was looking for a provider, white picket fences and more children....which unfortunately I wasn't able to offer her. She slowly started pushing me in this direction until it reached the point where it was becoming obsessive.   I had to end it because I knew it would only disappoint her more if we went further and I didn't voice how I felt. When I did this she told me she had a blood clot in her head, and I was doing this because she was 'sick'.   When this had no effect on me, she suggested I was doing it because her daughter had leukaemia. Again I assured her this was not the case and suggested maybe she should focus on her family life.   2 weeks later she tells me she was pregnant. I'll cut this short...she made it all up. Unfortunately I had to believe the pregnancy suggestion, as that was my responsibility. Until I did some research.   She said she couldn't keep it due to her blood clot, and subsequently booked in to a clinic.   The day before this I receive a call from her, asking if when she was 'fixed and better' I woud like to father a child with her.   Once again I will cut this short...two weeks later I confronted her about the legitimacy of the entire situation, to which she confirmed my suspicions.   The next day I had a small heart attack....   I recovered from all of this and have never been fitter or better off...physically and mentally. Finding a FB when I least expected it was great, but took a lot of learning to trust someone in an intimate setting again....   I have no doubt that everything will be fine, and once again I am actually looking forward to beginng my search again for the one...or the one right now...but I think my initial regret at losingthis one was that she re-instilled my faith in women.   There you go...now Gaz, put the tissues away ;P   Cheers,   Michael

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