F48

Substitutes For Lube ... And Other Lessons Learnt

January 31 2014

I recently embarked upon a desperate web search for a substitute for lube. Many of the results I came across offered advice on whether or not to use oil, silicone or water based lube and the perils of condom rot and the like. That wasn't the advice I was looking for. We have a favourite brand of silicone lube and swear by it, but we’d run out and the bottle had yet to be replaced and I was just not prepared to wait a moment longer to satisfy my urge! I was however, concerned about making sure none of my insides would fall out or something equally dramatic! ..... Some of the suggestions for substitutes (and the horror stories I stumbled across) made my eyes water! As it turns out, there's a whole lot of people out there who've learnt the hard way, what not to use down below in their pursuit of pleasure! Some of the stories were quite extreme, others were just plain dumb. We eventually settled for pure olive oil, with a very happy ending, but it got me thinking ... I want to know if anyone here has a funniest/dumbest/hardest-learnt sex lesson to share, or a story about a time when a great idea for satisfaction turned very very bad! .Flirty x

Comments

RHP User

12 years ago

unless of course you sprinkled your dinner with chilli. EEEOOOOWWWW!!!!

reply

like
madotara69

12 years ago

He had two female lovers living in a three way relationship. He had been in a bad car smash up and was confined to a chair while his legs and arms were healing, the girlfriends had taken advantage and had been testing his limits to patience, silly teasing sexy stuff, for months. When he was up and running, he had the girlfriends lay down together and lubed their pussies with a chilli enhanced (tailored) lubricant. When they began to (well panic was the gist) He told them there was an easy fix. Had them both lean over into the bathtub and put a funnel in each of thier pussies, shot off to the fridge and came back to pour milk into the funnels. Apparently it helped. True story. Grape seed oil not so good with condoms. Kiwi Fruit if your in a moment, and out of the slippery stuff. Mado Tara xx

reply

like
RHP User

12 years ago

Quoting 'madotara69' When they began to (well panic was the gist) He told them there was an easy fix. Had them both lean over into the bathtub and put a funnel in each of thier pussies, shot off to the fridge and came back to pour milk into the funnels. Apparently it helped. I have no trouble believing that LOL. Similar to treatment for heartburn? :) Kiwi Fruit if your in a moment, and out of the slippery stuff. Kiwi fruit?? As a lubricant? :-O . Flirty x

reply

like
RHP User

12 years ago

.lard ,,,,,,,,use lard hunni ,,,,,,,,,,,,giggles xxxxxxxxx

reply

like
RHP User

12 years ago

Coconut oil is a good lube, available in health food shops and supermarkets. Slippery, edible and doesn't stain. Unfortunately I have no stories to share. Clearly I need to get out more!

reply

like
gazpacho

12 years ago

I'm with paint_me on this.... spit is the typical standby. Although, if you are near the kitchen, butter does it better. All natural, no added salt if possible. I think there's an old movie with charles bronson where butter was used to lube someone's butt?? Anyway, it feels just fine. HugsGazpacho

reply

like
RHP User

12 years ago

Quoting 'kinkarella' .lard ,,,,,,,,use lard hunni ,,,,,,,,,,,,giggles xxxxxxxxx Kinkarella, lard has a high smoking point ... there was already sufficient heat in the exchange, was only in need of some oiling of the moving parts

reply

like
MsSuperFoxy

12 years ago

Someone years ago told me they used that once. I was like WTF? Guess it could be one way to stay STIFF. Foxy

reply

like
RHP User

12 years ago

Quoting 'gazpacho51' I'm with paint_me on this.... spit is the typical standby. Although, if you are near the kitchen, butter does it better. All natural, no added salt if possible. I think there's an old movie with charles bronson where butter was used to lube someone's butt?? Anyway, it feels just fine. HugsGazpacho Last Tango in Paris it was and the actor in the movie was Marlon Brando

reply

like
RHP User

12 years ago

gazpacho51: The scene you are thinking of is from "The Last Tango in Paris" with Marlon Brando and Maria Schneider, made in 1972. It had an X rating, and the butter scene was notorious. "Go get the butter" still evokes a smile.

reply

like
RHP User

12 years ago

That egg white is supposed to be a good one, haven't tried it - Posted from rhpmobile

reply

like
RHP User

12 years ago

Quoting 'gazpacho51' I'm with paint_me on this.... spit is the typical standby. Although, if you are near the kitchen, butter does it better. All natural, no added salt if possible. I think there's an old movie with charles bronson where butter was used to lube someone's butt?? Anyway, it feels just fine. HugsGazpacho Last Tango In Paris...cannot imagine Charles Bronson in such a role, however it is indeed Marlon "pass the butter" Brando. Never saw the movie in full but found a well-bookmarked (stained??) paperback in my pubescent years. I was not responsible for the stains. ;-) Shuck

reply

like
RHP User

12 years ago

I much prefer oils over water or silicon lubes. Grape seed oil is about the best I have tried.

reply

like
RHP User

12 years ago

what I've had positive experiences with as substitutions: coconut oil/butter, clearasil sensitive moisturiser, saliva,sorbeline(or however you spell it lol) cream- but only a little bit, virgin olive oil and most water based lubricants negative experiences: vaseline/other petrolum jelly, butter/margarine, any scented lotions/creams(burn factor!! mega ouch!) any of the scented/flavoured/warming/tingling/cooling lubricant, hand creams, and most oil based lubricants I think I'm more sensitive than most people when it comes to lubrications though

reply

like
gazpacho

12 years ago

hahaha>.. Thanks guys for clearing that up! Charles Bronson and Barbara Streisand... I don't know why I associate them with the butter scene.,, maybe it's all those damn Streisand impersonators! :p HugsGazza

reply

like

Substitutes For Lube ... And Other Lessons Learnt

Comments

Tags

Boards

Forum help