M47 F43
Stood up?
February 04 2012
Comments
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playfulminx
14 years ago
I think with eBay there's not a lot of grey areas so you can do the negative feedback thing. If someone sent you a broken tape recorder, but said that it was in perfect condition when you bid for it, you can use the broken tape recorder as evidence. Even then, the seller can say that it was in good condition before posting.The thing with eBay is that the seller can provide their side of the story if they receive a negative feedback. You'd have to have the same thing on RHP. It would go like this:GorgeousCouple324 - "SexyCouple768 did not show up to an agreed date. We waited an hour before leaving. They did not contact us to explain what happened."SexyCouple768 - "We actually did turn up at the agreed time but as soon as we saw them, it was obvious that they have aged considerably since their profile photos were taken and packed 20kg on each too at the same time. We left as we were led to believe they were gorgeous."It can get ugly and very nasty. I'd rather focus on the positive feedback people get on here and go with that :|
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RHP User
14 years ago
Can you just imagine the whining cat fights? Bring it on! Hehe. Maybe it could be like hot or not where people are starred just like on eBay... lol. I can see it now ...Package 5 stars... Delivery 2 stars... Goods as expected 3 stars... punctuation, grammar and spelling (lol) 4 stars ... comment: premature delivery but perfect package. Would you meet this Pie again? Yes, with a novocaine spray. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
I've been stood up by single men - I WISH there was a rating system!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Was Stood up tonightits the no answer that annoys me more then anything else. u know a small txt saying you can make it of what ever excuse u use but dont leave us to drive somewhere and wait like muppets..
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'DeliciousCplBris'I've been stood up by single men - I WISH there was a rating system! Serious??? Maybe they were too intimidated. Don't know. But really, why would a guy miss out on a chance to spend time with a ridiculously hot couple? Beats me
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RHP User
14 years ago
Ladies and guys set up your own network system. Go have coffee with people , its worked for us. This does not mean you say any negatives about anyone, you only say if they turned up. Also its not about the no show only, its just about please contact if you do not want to meet. Even if people are not like their pictures, and I have seen that already. You do not have to do the drive bye or not have manners to let people know you are not coming. Meet them and say sorry I am not interested. The Scarlet women’s group helps women to know that a man is reliable. We do not say that man is a good root etc. as that’s relative to the women he is with. You can say I enjoyed being with that person. We always get permission of the male first, before we let other women know what he is like. Only one so far has declined, the others rather like the idea. Its a good way to weed out those people that text, write but do not call ever. If a person does not ring you, and makes apt only by text,I do not bother. It could be a ten year old. If a person talks all the time but then seems to always have something come up just before a meeting, warning Will Robinson. Give them two chances and the second,then no more chatter. If a person has contacted all the women in the group and never showed up to one meeting, what does that tell you? My favourites are the multi people profile, you know one person writes the other calls, two boys or more having fun in the uni dorm. Networking off line is your only way of knowing and it helps women to be a little safer I think.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I've been stood up and given the run around to. But unfortunately it's just part of life and dealing with people in general. I don't get too bothered about I just forget about them and move on. I'm a scarlet woman and it's great. I've met some awsome friends and it's nice to get another womans perspective on the whole dating scene bit. It has nothing to do with bagging any one it's simply to let women know, this person is real, safe, polite, clean etc. I totally agree with tuscanred.
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RHP User
14 years ago
...and just for the record, you just 'stood me up' and all I did was look at your profile! | Quoting 'DeliciousCplBris' I WISH there was a rating system! | ★★★★★ | Damn, if you aren't five star...I don't know what is!
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RHP User
14 years ago
What Bloke in thier right mid would Stand up DelCplBris... Bloody hell i thought the list would be a MILE LONG
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RHP User
14 years ago
I am not the only one that has never been stood up? Or stood anyone up? . I agree with PlayfulMinx 100% too...it can get ugly and it depends on the "truth"...What is that saying?...you get the story from both sides and in between you will find the truth? I have met a couple of guys that looked nothing like their pics (one was soooo much more yummy and the other, it wasn't even him in the pic) and just said to the latter..."No thanks" and walked away! I had in my earlier days when I first joined met a guy that was 20 years older and 60kg's heavier than his pic...and also said "No thanks" and walked away. These to me are the real timewasters...if you don't portray who you really are...then don't expect a positive outcome. . I have seen the Delicious's on cam and they are a hot couple...how in the hell any bloke would stand her up is beyond me...my only thought is that these guys do not portray who they really are or they are sitting around with their mates with 3" dicks in hand (each others) and say "look what I stood up"? I have also seen alot of people on cam that look nothing like their profile pics (males, females and couples) and shake my head and wonder if they really think that noone can notice the difference! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
14 years ago
...by a lady who had just gone through a break up and thought she would like to try being adventurous. I was to be her first bisexual experience. She was a no show and I was disappointed but I don't harbour any ill will towards her and I definitely don't want to make it hard for her if she wants to try again with someone else. No, I would not be in favour of such a negative format. Let's keep RHP friendly. Well, at least as far as we can. God knows there's enough hostility here on the forums to keep fight fans entertained.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Thanks for the lovely comments, you made this old bird feel fabulous :) Chasing midnite that was so sweet x thank you Chilli, I'd be a terrible root, your not missing much :) I'm far from perfect but I do not muck people around , ( actually I did once , but it was a legit babysitting fail, and he was texted within 2 hours of our supposed meet) When we say we will show up , we do. Couples have been great, it's the single men who let us down ( and it's not just me , many many swinging couples have the same dilemma ) Frustrating beyond belief ! No idea why but a few said they chickened out at the last minute !
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RHP User
14 years ago
Yeah right........Being one who reads the forms but not one for writing in them or validations or friends. I had to say something. Delicious you are far from an old bird, and so glad to of made the early morning run. I was one of the lucky ones who showed up and still grinning like a little kid in a candy store. Those who did the no show, what idiots.
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RHP User
14 years ago
We too have felt the sting of being stood up. The amount of planning and money spent to get ourselves there made it even more frustrating. Obviously the situation for the single people on this site is different from the couples, but we're finding that the swinging community in Sydney is fairly small. Most of the people we have met, have met (or at least messaged) the same couples. Did that make sense? So that being said if one couple stands another up, it will eventually spread through word of mouth that a particular couple is not reliable. We feel your pain 'The Team' :(
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RHP User
14 years ago
I too was stood up once...That Dam Bourbon kept making me fall down
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RHP User
14 years ago
On here we have networked with a bunch of couples and have no problem telling our friends who doesn't show up, which "couple" only ever offers to come out as a single male only, who has wasted our time with a million emails only to stuff around and be vague and annoying, those who were just rude and those with zero people skills but clearly love themselves. We don't care about the attached stigma or weird moral high ground people pretend they take on this and other sites. People talk, end of story. And if people don't want to ruin Thier chances, if they don't want to be known as jerks, they won't act like jerks. Pretty simple. People on these sites are pretty dense if they think people don't talk with each other and know each other. If we are friends then we have got your back. That's what friends do. So what goes around always comes around.
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RHP User
14 years ago
.......nothing like a horny naked woman asking for you to say nothing just fuck her :) Thanks for fulfilling a fantasy for me , and for showing up !!
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RHP User
14 years ago
This thread raises a valued point! Allot if people just like the attention and have no intention of ever meeting! Everyone has been stood up or had someone pull out.... It's the nature of the beast. The best way to mitigate this I feel is to actually talk to the person prior to meeting them. Texting and emailing isn't personal.. But a phone call although not entirely personal, often puts the person your meeting at ease :).
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RHP User
14 years ago
What happened to a coffee or meet and greet first or dinner.... i am not a peace of meet you know lol. Oh and you did say something " hi" when i turned up, so the fantasy was not fulfilled properly. May i suggest that we try it again lol. Is it wrong to flirt in forums?
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RHP User
14 years ago
we've been 'stood up' as well..... and for the record .....100% of them were attached or married ..... the lesson we learnt was to make sure we only play with singles...and that they host...and it works.....makes our potential playmates fewer in numbers.but thats completely ok, as this is an 'extra'...an adjunct to an already satisfying and adventurous relationship.... we always found it much easier to say 'no', if there was even a shadow of a doubt. and if that changed....it was always a good thing.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I have been stood up a few times, by both single women & couples. I have only missed a date once & same as Delicius, it was legit, i was in hospital getting 3 stitches in my chin, even got the pics to prove it...lol Luckily for me the couple that night were very understanding and we are now good friends :) But guys standing up others certainly makes it hard for us fair dinkum guys who do meet. We all get lumped into the same category so a comment or rating system would be great to help separate the wheat from the chaff!! To Mrs Delicious, I've seen you on cam and there's no way you're a terrible root. Who knows, oneday I may be able to prove that? ;) lol
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RHP User
14 years ago
We were stood up five times in under two weeks in October last year by single guys......we don't see single guys anymore! Everyone of them picked the day and time to meet....all pulled out and one didn't bother to let us know!A few weeks before that we waited an hour and ten minutes at a bar for a single guy to turn up....didn't show, didn't call and we were silly enough not to get his number....he had ours. We really think there should be a negative validation post on peoples profiles that they don't have any option to reject.....at least people have some idea what they are getting into.
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RHP User
14 years ago
dont let singles pick the times/days for play then...this is about you two...as a couple.... they seem to forget that its us as couples who are doing them the favour, not the other way around..... we set the rules, the tempo and the mood....works for us...........
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RHP User
14 years ago
Mikeandshell.......our situation is a little different. We have plenty of free time and we were available on the day/time that was suggested to us. All the meetings were in a public place for a drink only to make sure we all got on before a play meet. At the end of the day a bit of give and take needs to happen.....we can work around most people with times and places. I really dont think an attatude like yours helps anyone........we want the singles to be happy and relaxed and really hope they have as much fun as we do.
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RHP User
14 years ago
You ever look at a couple and think ... well one of you got Ripped OFF ?
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RHP User
14 years ago
I cant say that Ive ever been stood up but I must admit, with work and homelife its not easy for me to get out and meet people all the time and I am single. So for some singles its not always the case. But to not even have the basic manners to front up, be counted or have the decency to contact people is a really poor effort. Its also the same for those that continuously run late and everyone else just says "oh thats normal for so and so, we're used to it", still poor form. And to stand up DeliciousCplBris , my my someone needs spanking!! Pick me lol
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RHP User
14 years ago
Agree with talking on the phone first ( after messages and pics and what have you ). And talking on the phone just before meeting to check they're ok still to meet. If there's a no show after all that, then they were a fraud right from the start, one could assume?
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RHP User
14 years ago
no...we dont have an attitude at all...we just speak with a little experience...we've been stood up too many times..... its not easy for us to find free time, so its bitterly disappointing, when people dont show up...for meets...or playdates, without even the commonest courtesy of either a quick phone call or a text....so we make the arrangements for where and when we feel its appropriate to meet...even if its just so we can have something 'alternate' to do...whether that be coffee elsewhere, a movie, or a ride on our bike.... being left in the lurch somewhere we are not familiar with isnt comfortable, or enjoyable..... wasting an afternoon or evening waiting for someone to show, isnt our idea of fun...
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RHP User
14 years ago
There is nothing to stop some vintictive person from spewing forth about someone else just because they may not have seen eye to eye on a few issues. Say we meet for coffee and I find you an obnoxious little twat. So I make my excuses and leave. Now you may have been particularly horny on that day, I may be a very very attractive young man, personable, clean, polite and now you feel very put out because I did not go back to the motel and shag you silly all afternoon and into the night. You then get on RHP, all full of rightious indignation and proceed to trash me. Sorry, too much room for error.
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RHP User
14 years ago
we agree with you.....its too easy to name and shame people out of misdirected ire and spite....it pisses us off no end.... but we would stop short of naming people..... and would prefer those who do stand others up...read forum topics such as this, if only to see that it actually does annoy people........there is, as has been said, the chance that these same people may have not stood others up...and their 'digression'? may have been genuine....
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RHP User
14 years ago
Feedback system would be hard. Like others said it can get out of hand if people want to like a make trouble. Perhaps if there was a feedback system for no shows. RHP would have to register three separate negative feedbacks each from different profiles before One generic negative could be posted for there profile by RHP. That might slow down one individual thats out to make trouble.I guess you just need to screen people before making a date. Always get a phone number and talk in person on the phone before meeting. Keep your first meeting location simple easy (some where that you are happy to be if they don't turn up) Confirm that they are coming a few hrs before the date and before leavening your house. Basically that way you don't put your self at risk of wasting your time.You screen out the reliable people from the time wasters. Local coffee shop or bar works well for us. To date using that proses we have only had one no show out of all our dates.That time We simply had our drink as a couple and drove 5 mins home deleted there number no skin of our nose.I do feel that even with single guys if you want things to work out well it dose have to be give and take. I guess as a couple you do take the lead and in some ways have the final say.Though you need to respect the single guy and not treat them like a disposable slave. After all they are offering you something as a couple that you are looking for.Equal respect when you find a good one and most guys are very great full that they can join in the fun.Tim
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RHP User
14 years ago
Everyone commenting above has no doubt been stood up at some stage and yes it probably does piss people off. I wouldnt know as I have never been stood up, nor have I stood anyone else up. Even with three strikes and you are out there is still way too much room for error. I may have five really close friends on here who will back me to the hilt. Mikeandshel just because YOU in particular would not name or shame or trash anothers good name, does not mean that there are not those on this site that wont do it to you, just for giggles. The world is not a nice place people and not everyone is going to treat you fairly. Screen your potential playmates better is the only thing you can do. Take the time to get to know them as well as you can on line before meeting.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I book guys each week for the club and then they just simply dont show...not even a phone call or a message. I have a black book that i keep by my desk so when they wish to book again...NO FRIGGIN WAY, they made another guy miss out because of them not informing me that they could not attend.So yes it happens on large scales too....but so be it...there loss i say.Leesa
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RHP User
14 years ago
I don't blame the general reaction if couples have had that many bad experiences, with singles not showing up I would b the same if that happened to me.. Hopefully some couples plagued with bad experiences will eventually find that"good experience" to bring back hope :) - trying to clean our image here - *grin* TD&H
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'DeliciousCplBris' I've been stood up by single men - I WISH there was a rating system!
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RHP User
14 years ago
I just don't give them another chance to disappoint me
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RHP User
14 years ago
I too feel everyones pain on being stood up. Therefore, i meet when i say i will, if i cant make it, i have the decency to let the other party know.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I totally agree.....It is so unfair to anyone who has been stood up its a total ego killer......So why don't we ask for something like that?
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RHP User
14 years ago
People are naturally negative and dismissive.we should only be positive
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RHP User
14 years ago
I agree with lmfao12 completely ... even though I'm fairly new here, I'd say the chances are high that many people may simply just like the attention. If that's the case, it's all well and good and we shouldn't have any ill feelings towards that. Sometimes people just need that boost. As for actually meeting up, I think much the same as lmfao12 as well, a general phone call would most likely be beneficial.
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RHP User
14 years ago
We have never been stood up by couples. However we do get alot of messages asking to meet up. sometimes they are all excited till we give them our phone number or they ask for private pics (and we say no). Its just part of vetting the time wasters...save yourselves some time .. We always try and talk on the phone to confirm dates..this seems to make it REAL to most people. again if single guys or girls give us their phone number, its more likely to happen than just an email .. we always sms first, then chat to male and female..make sure they are BOTH keen Bernie
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RHP User
14 years ago
We live about 1/2 way between Adel and Melv and we have contacted most of the cpls locally when we were premium members on this site only to have basically no luck.We then started contacting cpls in both cities and then we had our first taste of being stood up which meant we had travelled to the city for basically nothing lol.(We love a long drive for nothing NOT)These days we just tell ppl we are happy to meet here in our small town if they wish to travel to us and that seems to sort out the time wasters and as said by others actually talking on the Ph is an absolute necessity b4 committing to a meet.In answer to the question asked no we dont believe there should be a negative feed back as it does leave it open to abuse.THERE WILL ALWAYS BE TIME WASTERS AND WE WILL JUST HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT......DAMN WE MIGHT HAVE TO MOVE TO QLD AS THERE ARE SOOOO MANY HOTTIES UP THERE
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RHP User
14 years ago
And I will do my best to "stand you up" hey its tough job but someone has to do it
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RHP User
14 years ago
had arranged to meet a young lady one friday morning........had to work the night before, had 3 hrs sleep, and was running 10 mins late.........sat around for one and a half hours for a no show....then she wouldnt answer any of my messages
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RHP User
14 years ago
Everyone unfortunately is going to have these issues if you let it happen. I am very strict with who I meet and where etc, it's all about talking to someone and getting to know them, I don't see the point in being able to trash someone just because they stood someone up. It's not always intentionally. There could be a valid reason. There is way too much room for error if this system was in place as have seen this on buy swap and sell pages over the Internet, turns into a bitch session and one trashing the other which is not what this site is about. You just have to seed out the good ones and make a judgement call. It's apart of life. No one is perfect and we shouldn't be aloud to trash someone for it. This is a sex site/ what ever else you want it to be. :-) A xx
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RHP User
14 years ago
over time wasters also. you wanna chat fine, take it slow have a coffee fine but u want to or not. New on here and seems to be allot of talkers or pushy men
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RHP User
14 years ago
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RHP User
14 years ago
TonguEnCheek762 - That is very, very true. One of the main reasons we've had such a hiatus on this site was because a couple we had ended it with had such a network of their own on here and we felt so awkward. Back on main topic - Is there any way to "report" a member? And perhaps use this as a tool for reporting no-shows and it'll mark on your profile? The validations are there so I think that would be useful too.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I can understand people being concious about their bodies as they age, but lets face it people need to be honest with people as well as themselves. I had a meet with someone, and once again the pictures they put up, were about 10 years old. Of course she looked nothing like the picture. Time is so precious and people dont need to waste other peoples time and money misleading them. On a positive note, MINX you are smoking hot. Have a greta day everyone.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Totally agree.The ebay analagy is a funny one, I guess its like ebay the 'seller' should provide an accurate description of the item! And like ebay you'd probably be surprised that there are people out there keen to bid on a used 1970's olive green lazy boy, or whatever speciality you happen to be!Im not surprised, but am sometimes reminded of the level of "little (or not so little) white lies"' that go on in here, I guess meeting 'in real life' not anonymous internet world is the point of truth and some baulk at that. Yes it can be scary and awkward and all that stuff if you're shy, I fully understand that, but just standing someone up (who is probably feeling the same) is just poor form.I can see how comments could get complicated very quickly but a star system like the one on ebay for shipping might work... especially would be good to spot the serial fakes and no-showers.
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RHP User
14 years ago
So I just got stood up tonight by someone on here. It's actually the first time it's ever happened to me in my life, so in a strange way I guess I should count myself lucky...!Yep, fairly disappointed and the ego is somewhat bruised right now, but I think with a site like this – you know what you're getting yourself in for. Although I would certainly never do that to anyone and I find it tough to understand why anyone would, when a simple call or message requires such little effort.I would like an explanation from her, but I honestly don't feel any compulsion to publicly 'out' her or somehow mark her profile to make it permanently distasteful to other users in the future. The matter is between myself and her and publicly shaming her just seems nasty and vindictive to me. However rude failing to tell me she wasn't going to show up was, there probably was a reason behind it all. Maybe not a particularly good one, but even so.I think that any kind of commenting or downrating system would be prone to abuse and would do more harm than good. A comment based system could easily become nasty and result in members sniping at those who turned them down for whatever reason – which would require heavy moderation and management from RHP staff. A star rating on the other hand is oversimplified and misses the intricacies of context, and so fails to allow either person or couple to explain what actually happened.Anyway, all that aside. Am missing the gorgeous girl I was supposed to be playing with tonight. Though perhaps she is the one who is really missing out.
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RHP User
14 years ago
yes iv had a few poeple say that they want to meet call me so i do and leave a msg only to get on reply why say you are interested get my hopes up only to let me down iam who i say i let you see my pirvate pics before i ask to meet you know what i look like so if you arent intersted just say no its easy im a big boy and wont take any further notice of you
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'DeliciousCplBris' I've been stood up by single men - I WISH there was a rating system! They were obviously insane and deserve only pity to not see this gift to be with a Goddess as you are....munchkin..;)
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