M63

Rewarding a decent effort...

July 09 2010

This is a follow-on to the "nice guys" thread, which seemed to be taken over by people speaking Klingon... or Scottish - same difference though...First, I know a lot of women get a huge number of messages and answering them all simply isn't realistic, but when a guy puts a decent amount of effort into something, there are benefits for everyone if you drop him a "thanks but no thanks" in reply. He obviously benefits by feeling that even though he wasn't successful at least his effort was appreciated, encouraging him to continue to try to be creative and amusing.Women benefit too - you directly as well as others on the site. A decent guy will take a polite refusal as an unambiguous answer and won't bother you again - otherwise, we may think that you value persistence and try you a couple more times. Send one message and you may save yourself from two in future from a guy you aren't interested in. If you do value persistence, send him a message telling him to try again - we men are simple creatures and not good at the nuance that women understand so well.You'll benefit in other ways too - the more that men see their effort going unrewarded, the more likely they are to do a "cut and paste" or "wanna fuck" messages. If you don't give them much of a look (and I'm sure many of you don't), you run the risk of missing a good guy who is disenchanted with putting in the effort. Women collectively have control over the quality of messages that men send them, but it requires some effort from you to wield that power.Next time you read a decent message, reward the effort and raise the bar for all of us. Even if it doesn't eventuate in anything, it could lead to a bit of fun and a better site overall. Have fun!+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++-

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RHP User

15 years ago

Snowshoe, you are so right. Though I don't feel like being polite to married and attached men who don't read the bit on my profile that politely asks them not to waste their time or mine. Damn, things do get complex. WILDly confused

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RHP User

15 years ago

I always reply to polite messages even if I decline their offer. I want to let these guys know the thought they put in their message is appreciated..... and a rarity. Sweet

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RHP User

15 years ago

Nothing pleases me more than to have mail in my box. Oh that didn't sound very good! But if someone has made the effort to read my very lengthy and very specific profile then I am really impressed. I find the guys that do make the effort to send mail and not just flirts are the really genuine ones that are worth getting back to even if to say thank you so much but we are just not a perfect match. I to this day have never had a person that has taken offense to thanks but no thanks but if I did then I would be reassured that I had made the choice not to take things further because he had proven to me that he was a wanker. Miss K

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RHP User

15 years ago

After all, it's free 2 reply... Cyber arrogance...

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RHP User

15 years ago

You might not like the response but I always respond. I have tried the polite responses with everyone to find SOME take this as encouragement to try and change my mind (My profile currently states quite clearly dont bother contacting me if I dont know you) so now if it is obvious that they havent read my profile then I can be nasty. Kisses Focus

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RHP User

15 years ago

it all depends on what is in the header...and what is in the message...i mean, if you send a 3 page missive to someone who has a very short profile, highly unlikely they are gunna read it, right?...and if you send something clever, witty and short to someone who has a profile which takes days, 2 hot chocolates, and some toasted marshmallows to read...oh, to find the right balance...interesting how two women have let me read their messages...and i have seen the same messages (exactly) sent to them both...not sure if they were word for word, heck, my memory's not that good anymore...but if they are copying and pasting messages, well, i'm sure that sort of thing gets around...maybe you should try flirting the women who take your fancy, and then if they respond, pen a message to them then...courses for horses...errrr...or is that horses for courses...well, whateva...cheers and careful of the cow pats in the sand pitjose...

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Rewarding a decent effort...

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