M52
Replying to Messages
March 07 2019
Comments
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RHP User
7 years ago
They have busy lives and just dont have time to answer 20 plus messages a day. We receive messages from people who havent read our profile or think we dont really know what we are looking for. I find that rude and wont answer. Sometimes a polite No rewards us with another abusive message. Its cyber dating and shouldnt make people get so uptight.
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MissRedFox
7 years ago
Oh this one again
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MissRedFox
7 years ago
Is anyone just as upset about applying for jobs and not getting a message back ? And I recently put in time for rental applications and nope nothing back for this either I suppose we could address this issue or just accept the answer is no and just move on
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RHP User
7 years ago
One thing I’ve noticed....men seem to sook more about this than what women sook about the problems that message contains.... So here’s my advice.... Get a grip, accept it and change your messaging, or the people you’re sending them to, and move forward or sit in the corner and cry..... Choice is yours really
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RHP User
7 years ago
Just another little observation.... Sing your logic, your profile name is just as cringeworthy as an opening message, so I’m not really that surprised you’ve written this thread...
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RHP User
7 years ago
Using*
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RHP User
7 years ago
I actually don't want any messages,The last three messages O revived were full of abuse. A community can comprise people who have a common interest it can also comprise people who have conflicting or competing interests I know a man who lathes the fact that the local library has sessions for mums and toddlers. He mourns the days of shushing :) I am a fairly friendly person and will say hello to most people as they walk past me.Some people don't bother to respond,that is their choice.BUT I certainly don't spend the rest of my day fretting about it. OP I noticed that you have this same ..er..castigation on your profile.Castigaing the people you are trying to attract may well be a little counter productive. Good luck. Hugs Q
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RHP User
7 years ago
Yep, sadly no one here male, female or couple is entitled to anything and if you think you are you’ll be disappointed. People choose who to reply to based on compatibility and interest and it’s their right to choose not to reply if you don’t meet criteria they are looking for. Would it be nice to get a polite thanks but no thanks to every message where the other profile chooses you don’t meet what they are looking for? Sure of course it would be. But would you also not rather be focussing on people of interest as opposed to those that aren’t? We try to reply to every message but we have lives and families and sometimes it just doesn’t work out that we can reply to every message. It doesn’t mean we are rude or ignorant nor do I think that of those who don’t reply to us. Deal with it move on and if you want more help this topic has been covered more than once - do a search and you’ll find plenty of threads for you to read.
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Freaky_Fun
7 years ago
I for one am done at replying after the last few days. I put up a travel date and men must think just because they live in a different State they can say what the fuck they want. I have always replied with a decent no thanks message but not anymore. I'm done. The last couple of days of abusive, sooky what's wrong with me retorts has done my head in. So you can thank your fellow mankind for people not replying. I've had couples and women not reply either, l don't get my knickers in a knot over it. Fuck me 🙄 3 things in life are certain Death, Taxes and men whinging about no replies on the forums.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Contact me haha
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boobsandbusted
7 years ago
7
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
MrB..... what's up with the random numbers?🤔😊
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RHP User
7 years ago
Starting to miss the dogging threads now.
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RHP User
7 years ago
A 'community' only suggests we have a shared interest. 'Connectedness' on the other hand is about the number and strength of connections a person has within that 'community'. In my organisation there are many people. We identify as a community because we all work for the same organisation. I have connections with many, which means I can say 'G'day' to a lot of people around the place which feels good. I could not imagine for a second saying 'G'day' to every single person with an ID badge on just because we all work under the same roof. It's just not how humans work. I have never blocked a soul on this site. I will never answer every message I receive because I don't want to or have to. I spend my time building quality connections with people that I like and that like me too. That's it and all there is to it from my point of view.
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RHP User
7 years ago
We have had the experience of replying saying thanks for the message and hope they have fun here to be met with continued messages unwarranted. Sometimes being polite can be taken the wrong way. Sometimes no reply is an answer in itself We try and reply to all messages but sometimes that can backfire. If it is a community then it will reflect other community values and behaviour. Don’t take things personally
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BungCpl
7 years ago
Thank God someone has had the courage to raise this topic, oh wait.......
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RHP User
7 years ago
Well observed...maybe just not actually Read....( Note to self consider changing profile name on advice received from The Antichrist.) That one was gold
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
Fair crack of the whip here OP. I'm also pretty over replying politely when the man or couple is clearly not what I'm seeking and then get absolutely abused for it. If its not abuse its the pathetic "oh woe is me, what's wrong with me... blah blah blah". THEN you feel obliged to continue the polite exchange to avoid undue upset or adding to some sadsacks already clearly miserable experience of RHP. I DO ALWAYS reply but I'm at the precipice of not giving a rats about it anymore. My 2cs✌
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RHP User
7 years ago
As a sender of a message, a subsequent "no thanks" reply vs no reply at all has the same outcome. By default, the sender received a "no" response either directly or passively. As a recipient of a message, a "no thanks" reply is still directly engaging with the message sender, and has numerous variables in outcome. Many of which are exceptionally negative. No reply by contrast has a significantly lower negative outcome risk. As a participant in either of these roles- message sender or recipient, there is no more obligation to reply to a message as there was to send a message in the first place. With this in mind, instead of comparing messages and responces, compare receiving no response to not receiving messages. Lack of replies to messages and lack of receiving messages correlate to unengaging profiles &/or an unappealing online presence. The wording, the stats, the photos, the quality of messages (if sent) and ironically the topics posted on forums are confounding factors which affect engagement between members. More importantly they're variables you have control over and can modify. The behaviour of other members, is not.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Being a single male on these sites will teach you patience, respect and enable composure if you allow it. Showing frustration and anger to the non replies, being abusive to the "not interested" replies, shows to everyone that you are of not the right headspace to be considered for sex. Desperation comes to the fore. Be calm and courteous, take it in your stride. You will find inner piece and great sex Envoy
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
Quoting 'FatFunFiesty' MrB..... what's up with the random numbers?🤔😊 It's not random numbers. There is a count going up.I think it's the number of weeks since he's been able to use his manhood.Fully explained in the rooftop thread
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RHP User
7 years ago
Marshall McLuhan coined the phrase,"the medium is the message". I think by McLuhan's reasoning the non reply to a message ie the medium is actually a message.It is then up to the recipient or ( non recipient ) to interpret the message Hugs Q
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RHP User
7 years ago
Q, i wouldn't have been so eloquent however fully agree. No reply speaks volumes.
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RHP User
7 years ago
The fact my profile currently says ‘not playing’ yet still getting multiple messages a day saying read your profile and think I’ve got what you want is why I don’t bother replying. Clearly they don’t bother actually reading ...
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RHP User
7 years ago
The inequality thread made me extra aware of how many more men there are than women, so no surprise at all we hear more from them on this topic on a couple of points. Women though do tend to focus on the lack of actual show ups. Which is also not surprising under the circumstances. Peachy
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
Oh hahahaha.... I've missed that thread..... them numbers is gettin high😋
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'AnnieWhichway'Quoting 'FatFunFiesty' MrB..... what's up with the random numbers?🤔😊 It's not random numbers. There is a count going up.I think it's the number of weeks since he's been able to use his manhood.Fully explained in the rooftop thread Nah, fully explained without the high level of confusion just added would be that Mr B posted he was counting topics of a similar nature... I think it's been a while longer than that since he posted his topic about his uh, accident that has given him too much time to play with. You know cos he can't play with his favourite toy. Peachy
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RHP User
7 years ago
Don't you think Q that then leaves a lot open to interpretation because we'd have to presume people not turning up is a message etc. BUT we are told not to read minds. You know they could just be behind and giving credit for that possibility is considerate rather than assuming people can't be bothered putting in effort which for me is when I'd wonder if they're lazy in bed too! Going by previous presumptions about the effort men put into sending messages... Peachy
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RHP User
7 years ago
If someone doesn't turn up surely that is also a message ,if there is no other message to convey the reason. Not reading minds but it is all about perception.And when that has happened to me I have thought how ordinate I was to not meet such a rude and discourteous person.,and yes Peachy probably a lazy and selfish lover as well. Hugs Q
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RHP User
7 years ago
No reply is no reply. It doesn't say anything except what we make of it as you say. So, that can leave questions like... Maybe my mail got lost in the crush. Maybe they're busy right now. Of course we could leap to, oh what a rude and discourteous person to not bother to reply. That's where not reading mind comes into. I prefer to give credit rather than assume someone is a rude and selfish arsehole. That would be my perception to think someone considers themselves above manners that used to be everyday. So for me the ubiquitous saying of, no reply means no, is a furphy. This thread is about messages though I started with the mention of not turning up but to round out that thought. The fact is there could be a slew of reasons they don't turn up to, maybe they were in an accident on the way there etc etc. To assume they just didn't bother would be mind reading when we have no idea of what their reasons are. Peachy, hope that makes sense.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Peachy... Whilst it may be statistically represented, every man has a choice how they respond to it(no replies).....by saying they respond egotistically to the lack of replies is because there are more men than women here is in my view inaccurate... They don’t receive less replies because they’re male or that there are more men than women, and I think we would agree there are a number of reasons as to why they’re not receiving replies....but those reasons are completely subjective and shouldn’t be taken as some kind of personal insult....
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RHP User
7 years ago
But if we're going to go into facts and figures, the huge percentage disparity make it way more likely that men are going to send more messages, the fact being they are also the highest represented profile type as paid up members. Which makes it more likely they will be the highest percentage type ignored by people to lazy to respond. Which makes them the highest likely percentage type who will end up frustrated because they put in all the effort for next to no reward by way of a reply for decent, matching messages from profiles who don't even put in the effort to explain in their profile that they won't reply unless their interested. Leaving such a message in a profile is setting good boundaries. Got that from Snap_Dragon. On the flipside, that is a very good reason for me as to why women who there are far less of don't post about the replies they don't receive because they don't send so many messages to start with due to the fact they have a far lower percentage of actually being paid members. There is far more interest in women from all profile types so that makes it highly more likely they'll receive an expression of interest in return. I'm all for effort from both sides of the gender divide but taking facts and figures into account does make sense as far as the inequality the sexes goes. Peachy
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RHP User
7 years ago
Men do send more messages peachy I agree....because men and women ARE different... But it’s a far reach in my view to say the number of replies that men DON’T get are because of the disparity in gendered numbers... The lack of replies is going to far too subjective in each scenario to make a decent accurate comment about.... So... This to me means we are dealing with a minority of men who just cannot deal appropriately with their expectations of getting a reply because their ego won’t let them think of any other logical justification other than “I sent you a message...you MUST reply....” and I’m sure, that these same guys would’ve also ignored someone of the opposite sex before in their without even giving them a thought.... I say they need to harden the fuck up and man up....
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RHP User
7 years ago
I often wonder when these topics come up.... if the sutnor also struggles with the concept of consent You say hi Did they read it? Yes Did they reply? No. There’s your answer How hard a concept is it?! 🤨
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'megz85g' The fact my profile currently says ‘not playing’ yet still getting multiple messages a day saying read your profile and think I’ve got what you want is why I don’t bother replying. Clearly they don’t bother actually reading ... I woke up to another another this morning that only said "Interested in meeting?". Nothing else, just that. I did actually reply to that one, couldn't help myself. With a mere "Dude..."
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LetsFrolic
7 years ago
I don't think most people on here are genuine swingers. More just people mainly couples that want a quick hook.up for a fantasy. Because most are rude and have the attitude it's all about me and I don't give a shit. Swingers are actually the opposite
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LetsFrolic
7 years ago
And it's the norm it seems on here so shit had to change!
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
I am very tempted to reply to this one because I am due for a good facial. It's been 3-4 weeks since my last one. Curious if it is targeted to my skin type and reduces visible signs of aging. 😜 Ms Foxy
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