Regrets - making the most of time

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  JustAManNextDoor

  one month ago

  Regret? Yes, for certain things I’ve done, things I haven’t done, and things I wish I had. But they’re mostly the general sort of reflections that come with living. Every choice I’ve made has led me to where I am now, and I can honestly say I’ve had a good life and met some truly wonderful people along the way. Some have stayed for the journey, others have taken their own paths. Looking forward to the next chapter or possibilities that life brings.

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  nutsundae

  one month ago

  Shit yes. Usually accompanied by an equally serious interjection by the inner monologue, declaring that the particular drop of red was indeed rather fine.... Ok, in all srs though, the one I hear a fair bit in the lifestyle, and to which I can certainly relate to, is jeez - I wish I had stumbled my way into this decades ago, and not as late as I have. I totally get it. It can feel almost cruel for us late starters to think about all of the 'best years' lost. Because opportunities for new experiences absolutely diminish with time. Sure, some will be blessed to be merrily continuing in their kinky ways well into old age (however you want to even define 'old age'), but for all of us, long or short, our time is finite. There inevitably comes a point where our bodies simply stop co-operating. Or we just lose our drive. So its easy to lament on being a late bloomer at 40, or 50, or 60, or even later. To regret the years lost, and to fear that our time will be cut short before we are contented. I like to try to focus on the flipside. I think about how lucky I am to have now found my tribe. To have forged incredible connections with amazing, wonderful people from so many different walks of life. I think about what my life would look like today if I was still back in my old world. Grey, and dull, and flat. Shuffling from one day, one week, one year, to the next.... Then I don't feel a single regret. Not one bit.

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  Nightglider

  one month ago

  Great topic and one I have to say I have pondered more than once in my life. Could I have done things differently, made better choices? Or course, but that’s part of being human too. We learn from failures. Is it a case of sliding doors? If we had that elusive time capsule, we could see how our lives would differ if we chose differently. Then, the question then becomes. Would we be who we are today if we chose differently? The following is copied from online. A lot can be learnt from those who’ve gone before us IMO. The most commonly shared “regrets of the dying” list comes from palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware. The five regrets she became known for are: 1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. 3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. 4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. 5. I wish I had let myself be happier. A lot of it comes down to: • authenticity • connection • emotional honesty • not postponing joy • not sacrificing your whole life to duty

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  Notice_Me

  one month ago

  Regret for what we DIDN’T do hurts, but it’s not a condemnation: it’s a compass. It shows us what really matters to us. Don’t waste energy looking in the rearview mirror. The real question is: What are you avoiding doing today that you’ll regret tomorrow?

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  Lostyanumber

  one month ago

  Funnily enough I was a regular traveller between Perth and Christchurch up to 2018. At one stage I considered trying to set up a layover in Melbourne where I think Shells was living at the time, well regional Victoria. I've often wondered if she might have been up for it.

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  nightingale8

  one month ago

  In my earlier swinging days, brand new to the scene, I was at a party and met a really sexy older couple and we hit it off. Things got really heated between them and they beckoned me to join them on the couch with them, I wanted to. Of all the people these are the two that I still remember and wonder, what if? I had looked up at my partner at the time who really wasn’t feeling it. It wasn’t his words, just the look. And so I made the decision to choose him and leave. I’m glad I did as he’s my ultimate prize with a shared life together years down the track. But I still do like to think… what if :)

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  mysterious_soul

  one month ago

  Regret isn’t a bad thing, it’s evidence that you’ve grown. Looking back, it’s always easy to judge past decisions with the clarity you have now. But at the time, you made choices based on what you knew, felt, and understood in that moment. Regret simply reflects the gap between who you were then and who you are now. Instead of viewing it as something negative, you can see regret as progress. It means you’ve gained insight, developed awareness, and strengthened your judgment. Without those moments, growth would be much harder to recognize. In the bigger picture, life is about evolving. Regret is just one of the ways your mind processes experience and turns it into wisdom, quietly preparing you to make better choices when similar situations come around again 💪🏻

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  Felicitous

  one month ago

  In this lifestyle... I actually regret putting myself in situations I wasn't entirely comfortable with. I had huge anxiety before meets.. sometimes would even be physically ill... Then have a 'shot' or 3 to 'relax'. I regret the employment of alcohol to be performative. In hindsight, I'm not a person that enjoys sharing myself with many, this simply wasn't aligned with me. Took a bit to realise that and also to realise that it's okay to be like that. I don't necessarily regret the experiences.. the negative/ uncomfortable ones really forced me to pay more attention to myself and my needs/ boundaries. Regret is probably too strong of a word even.. contemplating as I'm writing this. I think instead I feel empathy towards that version of myself that was seeking to gap fill something.. perhaps validation or attention in all the wrong places. If she hadn't tried to do that.. this version of myself wouldn't be all the wiser for it! I guess in that sense regret inspires reformation and and that is something to be grateful for. Thank you for this topic and the opportunity to reflect 🩷🥰 V xx

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  Generousgent

  one month ago

  Like you I started far too late and with someone who lacked the enthusiasm for the lifestyle. We only got to tinker on the edge of possibilities when I would have preferred to be in the thick of it. Unless I win the lotto there's no chance of doing what I really wanted to do.

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