M48 F48
Naive racism.
April 27 2012
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sorry ton of typo's. Hope you all get the drift anyhow. Should have got Jane to type it LOLTim.
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RHP User
14 years ago
My younger brother gets this...... tho he's Caucasian....(Irish/Welsh ancestors)......his nationality is actually Malaysian....but yea we get what you mean....we have friends and workmates who are 100% Aussie, in every way except their appearance........its wrong to make assumptions based on someones outward appearance..............
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RHP User
14 years ago
Racism is the systemised exclusion or eradication of a race of people. Your friend is not being excluded, she is actually being included in conversation, albiet inappropriate. I don't think it's even racially predjudice although it could be depending on the reaction to the information they recieved. I think it's simple curiousity and ignorance of what is now acceptable conversation. My dear old dad would start many conversations in the fashion you've described and he was genuinely interested. He made many long standing friendships and learnt a little about other cultures. I think it's a pity that we can't all be that naive any more.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Ever heard of the White Australia Policy Tim? From the time of Federation in this country from 1901 so called non-white immigration was restricted.It was only in 1973 that the Whitlam government took steps to remove it. There are still many towns and cities in this country that are basically mono-cultural. At the very least the comments directed towards Jane display a degree of ignorance. I can only imagine how tedious and annoying it must be for her to be continually subjected to this. I love the rich cultural mix and diversity of this country.Imagine what life would be like with only Anglo-Celtic influences,our food,our music,our philosphies and religions,life would indeed be very boring and bland,vanilla even....maybe no though...vanilla comes from Mexico afterall. x Hugs H
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RHP User
14 years ago
I am fascinated by other peoples cultures and histories having grown up in a third world country and been lucky enough to travel widely with my family. I love finding out how people have reached this point (or location) in their lives. Unfortunately we are very visual creatures and we make judgements on what we see and sometimes this leads us to assume things about people I guess. An example - We were once at a wedding and we became aware of an incredibly carismatic gentleman with an English accent on the table next to us. He had everyones undivided attention and was the life of the party. His ancestors were obviously not from Britain by his appearance (probably not PC enough, sorry). Soon, he had migrated to our table and sat next to me. As I had had a few vinos, I proceeded to ask him about his "background" in a very clumsy way trying to find out where his family origins were and he responded with "Get over yourself" and verbally attacked me. I guess he thought I was trying to classify him into a class (as in the British class system) but I was simply interested in his history/story. So now, I dont ask unless I know them well which is a shame, because I think everyone has an interesting story to tell. Mrs Waterbabes xxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
I'm in the same boat as your partner (although not fresh off one, har har). Australian born and bred, Asian background, more 'Aussie' than most of my Caucasian friends. I don't dress like a Harajuku schoolgirl, don't need to be rescued from a rip on Bondi Rescue, can drink four stubbies of cider without a red blush forming over the entirety of my face, and study a law degree. And yet when I meet shallow minded people, one of the first questions out of their mouth is 'So where are you from.', or 'What is your background?' I'm sorry, but what does it matter..? Unfortunately human beings have an unconscious tendency to stereotype. We stereotype to simplify things for ourselves, to associate particular traits or characteristics with people who fit into certain groups, eg if you're Hispanic, you must be good at Latin dancing. I absolutely despise people who say that they love Asian girls, or 'yellow fever', as that indicates that they have a stereotype already in their head, more than likely of a petite, long haired Asian chit with a high pitched flirtatious giggle and struts around with her Louis Vuitton tote swinging off one skinny shoulder. As soon as someone says or writes this, they're barred straight out. Sorry, I just simply don't fit your preconceived notions, mate. Look for someone else to satisfy your pithy fantasies.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Citycat 89 you got it spot on . I think you see the other side having lived it out yourself.Tim
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RHP User
14 years ago
I have heard many a rant from people that are born here and come from overseas about the way they have been treated because people ASSUME they are a certain way because they have come from overseas at some stage ,Australia is the whole world in one country ,so what does it matter!! Some of my best friends are from overseas and they are better people that alot of racially ignorant people you'd bump into on the street,why not just embrace the diversity, if we were all meant to be one race white asian black or hispanic etc, we would be ,embrace the amazing variety of cultural diversity. " I want to live in a world where people are not judged by the colour of their skin but the content of their character"(Martin Luthor Jnr) still applies today,just show people the same respect they show you,regardless of looks or nationality!
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xxkinkyfunxx
14 years ago
Like Mrs waterbabes I come from a far away place and have been fortunate to land here and share her point about being genuinely interested in a persons past as it helps to understand someone. being a non australian and also getting many people over the yrs saying in a negative tone where are you from. I simply say I'm an imagrant like you... as only the indigenous population can truely claim to have aussie heritage, this really pisses off rednecks
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RHP User
14 years ago
xxkinky get's my profile pic of the week award...there should be a prize!Cheers Felonius
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RHP User
14 years ago
I get this a lot. I was born in Asia (obviously, if you've seen my profile) but have been in Perth since I was a baby. I do have quite an Aussie accent and have had a pretty traditional Aussie upbringing and so I often get asked where I am from in work or social circles. BUT have never, ever felt marginalised or offended or irritated by someone asking about my heritage. In my experience (and I've been asked A LOT), people are genuinely interested as to where I'm from because I'm so Asian looking/Aussie sounding. They want to know how/why/when etc. My heritage is a little tricky too so I often turn it into some fun and try and make them guess where I'm from :). So for me it's always been a great ice breaker/topic of conversation. I think it probably has a lot to do with your attitude and how you receive and perceive the question. If someone asks you your heritage and it is a sensitive issue for you or you immediately get your hackles up and demand to know why they are asking and why it should matter, then yes, I imagine it would be an issue for you. For me, it's a great way to start a conversation, talk about myself and then talk about the other person and like I said, quite often it's fun for people to try and guess where I'm from :) I have absolutely had my share of genuine racism (sadly) but had never felt that way in relation to this issue. Everyone is different I guess :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
The department for which I work for has gone from being administed from an area health service to being administered by a non clinical stream. The area health service adopted a sorry statement and implemented an Aboriginal health plan in consultation wth the Aboriginal Community Controlled Health Services...every single meeting attended was started by acknowledging the traditional owners of the land and welcoming any elders that were in attendance... Now, as I am no longer under the arm of that area Health service, we do no acknowledgements...I recently asked why this was not the case...the answer given to me was that the service I now work for is a diverse multicultural organization, with many cultures that would not understand the significance of the statement...hmmmmm
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'jensman1903' Racism is the systemised exclusion or eradication of a race of people. Your friend is not being excluded, she is actually being included in conversation, albiet inappropriate. I don't think it's even racially predjudice although it could be depending on the reaction to the information they recieved. I think it's simple curiousity and ignorance of what is now acceptable conversation. My dear old dad would start many conversations in the fashion you've described and he was genuinely interested. He made many long standing friendships and learnt a little about other cultures. I think it's a pity that we can't all be that naive any more. Brilliant response Jensman1903! While I won't deny that many Australians, particularly Anglo-Australian males, will show racism if given half the chance... Asking someone where they're from is likely not intended as racism. As you say, it may be naive and it may be insensitive. But the asker of the question may not believe that they are superior to that person for being 4th+ generation or whatever white-skinned Australian. The proof of this will be when people who are visibly identical to your average Anglo-Australian but who have a different accent are asked where they are from or where their family was from. Literally it can't be racism as those people are of a similar biological race. It could be ethnocentrism, but only if the person asking the question honestly believes their ethnicity to be in all ways superior and is demeaning the other person by asking about theirs. If I went to Moscow, Berlin or Paris I'm sure I'd look very similar to the majority of the population. If they asked where I was from that wouldn't necessarily be racism. If they looked down their nose at me and said that I was stealing local jobs/women or only there to claim welfare, well, maybe that would be approaching racism.Personally I like to assume the best of people. If they say, "What are you doing here? Get on your boat and go back home," that's almost certainly racism. But if they're trying to make conversation you could choose to forgive them for being a little tactless. It's only racism when one race believes it's better than another. It's not racism to identify a difference or two and talk about it. I'd only assume someone is being racist when there are clear racist overtones. If they're just a bit clueless, well, a lot of people are like that without intending any harm or thinking themselves better than anyone else. Myself included when I occasionally make mistakes or a cultural faux pas. I don't think I'm better than anyone else or that people a little different to me don't belong in Australia. I just might ask "So what's your heritage?", just like I've been asked about my heritage, and assume people will be as un-offended by the question as I have been. I just happen to look like most other Anglo-Australians and have a slight remnant of a strange accent. If I happened to look Asian or South American or whatever in addition to that, that wouldn't automatically make the question about my heritage racist.
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QLDtwo4fun
14 years ago
I am sorry to hear of your experiences, and without going into long stories about my experiences, there is undeniably overt and subtle racist attitudes in Australia. However, the questions of where are you from, and where were you born are not inherently racist. I ask them out of interest in the person I am talking to, I ask them of white people too. I have lived and worked in SE Asia people have asked me where I am from. I've worked with aboriginal people, and for many of them these are important questions. They are not questions about race, but about relationship to place, personal history and people. So if we ever meet, and I ask these questions of you, give us a break its because I am actually interested in knowing about you.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'xxkinkyfunxx' I simply say I'm an imagrant like you... as only the indigenous population can truely claim to have aussie heritage, this really pisses off rednecks That perpetuates things....I honeslty beleive that five or six generations can be counted as heritage....truely!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Tim used the wrong word in the beginning. It's not racism, it's naivety, making such a fuss of my ethnicity before they have even said hello or asked for my name.Some people take the time to get to know me as an individual. Some people stereotype me based on my looks.My heritage only plays a small part of who I am. My interests, habits, desires, general way of life have very little in common with the stereotypical person of my parent's heritage.Some of the above responses say that they are just interested in the person's background and they ask everyone. Tim's only second-generation Aussie but from a Anglo background, Tim never gets asked. It is fair to say that if someone's parents are from Germany, that they are automatically good at engineering; or if someone's parents are from Italy, that they are naturally a momma's boy; at what generation level do you cross the point where these stereotypical assumptions become watered down so much that they are meaningless?To bring this back to RHP and what experiences we've had, I am not a tick on someone's bucket list ("do an Asian girl" tick). Tim doesn't portray me as his Asian wife or trophy bride. Other than the fact I look Asian, I am not going to act like your perceived Asian fantasy girl. I may enact other fantasies though :)Yes, you can ask. It's curiosity, it's natural. It's how, when, why you ask and what the follow up questions are.JanePS. I've now portrayed myself as hypersensitive and touchy. Don't mention rice to me, or I'll give you a Chinese burn!
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RHP User
14 years ago
She was sitting at the pc eating won tons typing that LOLTim
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RHP User
14 years ago
There's no denying that their looks are unique but I make no assumptions about their personality based on those looks. To be perfectly frank, I wasn't aware of the current stereotype used to represent young Asian females before the Austin Powers movies. The notion of scoring an Asian chick is not on my bucket list either. (Although it well might be if I hadn't already been with a couple, hehehe.)
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RHP User
14 years ago
And guilty of this although unless you are an obvious recent arrival it wouldn't be until after we got to know each other a little. I'm just interested in history and cultural backgrounds. If you are obviously a long term Aussie based on accent and language then it definitely wouldn't be raised as "where are you from".For what it's worth, I'm as Aussie as they come but I have an unusual surname. I often get asked what my background is because of the name (it's Irish and we've been here since the early 1800's in case you are wondering). While my Dad's side aren't particularly interesting, my Mum's family (with a much more common name) have popped up in key moments in Australian history. You'd never get the story though unless you asked, and I've only ever been asked based on my Dad's name.Last person I asked was a guy I worked with for a while. I knew his work history so knew he'd been here a long time, but the lingering accent was a clue to a different heritage. Got a really interesting story about his parents escape from WW2, his early years in refugee camps, and his decision to come to Australia on his own at 16 just because he saw a poster of a sunny beach. Was glad I asked.Mrs C is only second generation Aussie but her Mum was nordic and has a common name so she never gets asked. Shame because her recent heritage is far more interesting than mine.You dont learn without asking questions, but sometimes just need to be a little diplomatic.Mr C(PS. both sides of my family are from Irish Catholic descent and my 14 Aunts and Uncles and 50+ cousins all love a drink - there's a couple of stereotypes at work for you!)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Agree with posters who have described their curiosity - I've travelled extensively and am endlessly curious about people and their cultures. I ask a gazillion questions and will now be much more mindful abou how and when I do that. Disagree that such questions about background etc aren't racist. I think sometimes they are and sometime they aren't. If the question, or the response, leads to the asker making conscious or even unconscious judgments or assumptions, this is a definite form of racism. If you're not sure what I mean, g_oogle the Harvard unconscious bias test and give it a go. You might learn some things about yourself - I sure did, and it wasn't all great. But it was a great reminder to work more on being the person I truly aspire to be x
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RHP User
14 years ago
I still get this a lot, despite being born here and having an Australian accent I regularly get people asking me where I'm from and how long I've been in Australia. In university I used to get students asking me if I was an international student...
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6exxy
14 years ago
Tim, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but racism is alive and well. People don't want to know the truth. I practice being the bigger person because I refuse to let it be my issue. I don't own their issue, I let it stay where it is. I understand totally Cheers
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RHP User
14 years ago
Your's and a few other posts opened my eyes to some thingsI now understand completely where your'e coming from here, must be annoying for Jane when she is as aussie as the next person' yet get questioned because of appearence.. However' I am guilty of enquiring the origin of a asian girl in the past but at no time did I ever think I was offensive nor was that my intention.. but after reading your post and on reflexion' maybe I was... ?I have a very close friend who was born on a island.. a beautifull girl with a natural tanned appearence who is constantly asked if she just returned from holidays because of her color.. even in the middle of winter.. annoys her no end.Sadly' I have noticed ' some of the asian girls here tend to feel they are being catogorised for whatever reason and become fairly defensive which may or may not be nessasary. Im sure they must have their reasons but I also think they may be a little too judgemental for their own good resulting in rejecting some really decent people.. Personally' I have some very profesional asian friends in Thailand eg: doctor, air hostess, and resort manageress . Yet ' I am always asked if these girls are bar or street girls.. ? then I become defensive.. ?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'lil_bit_angelic'Agree with posters who have described their curiosity - I've travelled extensively and am endlessly curious about people and their cultures. I ask a gazillion questions and will now be much more mindful abou how and when I do that. Disagree that such questions about background etc aren't racist. I think sometimes they are and sometime they aren't. If the question, or the response, leads to the asker making conscious or even unconscious judgments or assumptions, this is a definite form of racism. If you're not sure what I mean, g_oogle the Harvard unconscious bias test and give it a go. You might learn some things about yourself - I sure did, and it wasn't all great. But it was a great reminder to work more on being the person I truly aspire to be x rac·ism /ˈreɪsɪzəm/ Show Spelled<rey-siz-uhm> Show IPA noun 1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others. 2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination. 3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races. This topic was discussed at length in the "Swinging + Racism = incompatible!" thread, here in couples corner and last posted in on the 2nd of April. We do ALL hold preferences and bias' that lay deep within us but this doesn't equate to the aggresiveness of true racism. The worst we are discussing here is predjudice and that won't be determined until the response to the question, "Where are you from?" is ascertained. When you jump to conclusions and start accusing people of racism you are being just as negatively judgemental as the person you are accusing. Remember, predjudice goes two ways.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I completely disagree with the premise that asking someones background is a form of racism or a need to put someone in a box. I do agree that it is a stupid way to begin a conversation with anyone. But the question is not in itself a sufficient indication of racism. Will the topic of background ever cease to a topic of converstaion? I'm mixed, predominantly white with English and Spanish heritage which minimally shows and I often get asked where I am from simply because I have a hint of "something" in my face and don't speak like an "ozzy" because I have spent years living in europe and japan and have steered away from sounding like a cliche. I recently lived in a small town in Japan for a number of years and in terms of multiculturalism it is probably where Austalia was 20 years ago. When I was there, it usually was the beginning of the conversation to ask where I was from. I don't understand why this should be an indication of racism or stereotyping. It sounds more like people who are asked here have a bee in the bonnet and are a little over sensitive because they have the mistaken belief that society should evolve quicker than it is. Historically we are still new to the level of mixed culture we have and I think it will take society another hundred years to adapt but even in a hundred years, do you really think the curiosity of people to know an individuals background will dwindle?? I doubt it.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Jensman, dictionary definition aside, I don't agree with you. Note my comment mentioned a correlation between the question or answer, and a conscious or unconscious assumption. Human nature is complex and endlessly nuanced and we spend the vast majority of our time in the 'grey' of interpersonal relating. Work long enough in the field of diversity and you'll know where I'm coming from. Not do I appreciate your suggestion that I'm prejudiced and judgmental. Aside from the fact tha we all are to a degree, I hardly think personal assessments are necessary here. I'll refrain from offering one of my own and return to more important matters of flirting and perving :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
I wasn't meaning to have a go at you, just pointing out that the Harvard test you were referring to gauges bias not racism. I am not racist but I know that, in spite of myself, I am biased. I reflected upon this in the previous thread that I mentioned. It's unintentional but I feel uncomfortable around young men of middle eastern appearance. I'm fine with them once I get to know them but initially I am wary. I do try to rise above these feelings but I am aware of them. I imagine most people have their own deeply held bias'. I' also aware that peole of other ethnic origins oten hold their own predjudices against caucasions, we do not have a monopoly on it. Knowing that in many cases, as expressed by other contributers, these questions on a person's origins is born from pure curiosity, the assumption that they are racially motivated is an example of predjudism in itself.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Wheeling out dictionary definitions really doesn't add anything to this discussion, it's just a way of de-railling. What, you're saying racial prejudice is somehow better? It is telling that the people saying that what Jane has experienced has not been rascism. I try really hard to not engage in the behaviour that Tim has posted about and yet sometimes I have to pull myself up, and apologise, and start again. I feel that people really need to listen to those of minority groups who say they feel discriminated against or who feel they are being treated with prejudice. As someone with inherent privilege in this society I think I have a responsibility to listen and learn and temper my behaviour if necessary.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I have an overwhelming urge to say blah blah blah can someone please just take their pants of already. I should probably keep that to myself though, right ;)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Polar_Bear_Grrr' I feel that people really need to listen to those of minority groups who say they feel discriminated against or who feel they are being treated with prejudice. As someone with inherent privilege in this society I think I have a responsibility to listen and learn and temper my behaviour if necessary. people may feel that they are being discriminated against, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they are in fact being discriminated against. I cannot disagree that they _feel_ they are being discriminated against - but a persons subjective feelings don't determine the facts of the situation.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Ladies, I can only apologise profusely. It was very poor manners on my part to allow facts to get in the way of your arguements. By all means, we should continue in the fashion you've indicated, after all, ignorance, intolerance and hysteria have always proven effective in making the world a better place. I'll just keep my reasoning and consideration to myself. Carry on.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'jensman1903' There's no denying that their looks are unique but I make no assumptions about their personality based on those looks. To be perfectly frank, I wasn't aware of the current stereotype used to represent young Asian females before the Austin Powers movies. Austin Powers: 'So what's your name?' Japanese girl: 'Fook Mei' Austin Powers: 'Hahahaha. No seriously, what's your name?' Japanese girl (adamantly): 'Fook Mei! And my sister's name is Fook You!' .... Jokes aside... I wouldn't go so far as to say it's racism T&J - for me, that implies an underlying hatred, but I'm not going to go into that as that's been defined to death here as it is. It's just stereotyping. I guess I shouldn't be so annoyed by what floats certain people's boat - some prefer brunettes, blondes, Latinos... I guess some guys just prefer Asian girls, but they're not for me. We're all made of flesh and blood... not soy sauce
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RHP User
14 years ago
Once again I agree racism was most likely not the correct word to use as citycat89 mentioned its more stereotyping. I guess its just the people you come across that have this little gun ready to fire as soon as they see a female that looks Asian. They shoot it the second you come into sight. Its loaded with the same initial question. Followed by the same onslaught of secondary questions.The questions are always cooked up from a big pot of assumptions. Its always refreshing when soem one meets Jane and wants to know about her and not rabble on about Asia and china for 1/2 the night.99% of it is tact. Its a bit like if you met some one who was say missing an arm. The first thing you are thinking is. How the hell did that happen? But is it the first thing you ask them before there name and getting to know them some what?To sum it up. Its not the questions by them self or over sensitivity and in most cases people are trying to be friendly or strike up a connection. Its just when it happens so often and the same questions that dominate all the conversation. Jane starts to feel like that's all you are to people (the Asian girl) and not much focus it put on the person as a individual.Tim
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'jensman1903' Ladies, I can only apologise profusely. It was very poor manners on my part to allow facts to get in the way of your arguements. By all means, we should continue in the fashion you've indicated, after all, ignorance, intolerance and hysteria have always proven effective in making the world a better place. I'll just keep my reasoning and consideration to myself. Carry on. Ahh, what reasoning? You provided no reason nor argument, you just copied and pasted dictionary definitions without reading what Tim was actually saying. The old phrase "not seeing the forest for the trees" comes to mind.With your comments here, again, you've come out attacking (why, and what for, I'm unsure) and yet offered nothing to the conversation and just accused two women of being hysterical. I would suggest that not only are you inherently racist, you're also fucking sexist as well.
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RHP User
14 years ago
So yes I get asked that question almost every time I meet a new person...but the context and tone makes a lot of difference and it can have totally different effects.Some are genuinely interested in culture and will ask specific questions like "Did your parents teach you their languages? To why I reply no they both speak 5 languages each and the common one is English" and the conversation is interesting and enriching and tends to shine light on pressures to integrate in Australian society etc. and how what was suppressed before is now considered cultural capital.Some are racist and want to know WHERE YOU WERE BORN (I could have been born in a shoe, does it matter) or Where you come from, asked in a way which confirms their superiority as white (and generally male). The questions are asked in a way that feels like "SHOW ME YOUR PASSPORT". Really racist.Some are halfway - I call "the colonials" who are indophiles and walk around Sydney in traditional Nepalese clothing and speak to me in a motely of Gujarati Hindi and English as if they're my bruv. I quite like them because I find them quirky and the whole show is endearing (in a wanky way)...but the walking around in traditional clothing outside their context is pretty racist (sorry guys).The ones I most like are my indigenous friends. When their mates ask "Where ya from?" They're actually talking about family, what clan, etc. They actually want to hear about the travelling part of migration (because they know it's fucking awful for a lot of people) and they speak to me as First Australians who are proud to meet me. It's mutual respect and interest. What I find most annoying are the smug types. I work a lot in the arts and there are a lot of proud lefties who say racist/insensitive/ignorant things and don't react well to being pulled up on it (even if it's done tactfully). Again like slippery_halo said, it's about superiority. So if you're interested, I'll always be up for a conversation about where I'm from, just don't push the Born business because I'll only be able to reveal ... Royal North Shore (how boring is THAT).
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RHP User
14 years ago
I've seen Asians ask other Asians where they are from. I've seen Pacific islanders ask other islanders where they are from. As a teenager, I was with my then girlfriend in a pizzaria. She was South American from Chile. The Italian lady behind the counter asked her where she was from and then proceeded to talk to her in Italian. Italian and Spanish are similar enough that the two were able to converse that way. I guess they just wanted to keep me out of the loop. My question is, why is this enquiry into a person's ethnicity only racist when uttered by a caucasion?
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RHP User
14 years ago
I was born here but have two different cultures. Many times I have been asked where I came from because I don't speak like your average Aussie. I don't find it racist or offensive provided it is done in a respectful manner although I do think being asked "how long have you been off the boat" particularly offensive. At one point I lived in a Sydney suburb where the population was of a different religion and most of the people were from a different country. I experienced racism because I was a blue eyed, blonde, female wearing a skirt and top. Men spat at my feet or spoke to me in their own language with angry looks and gestures or were just plain rude. Some shops served everyone else first and me last - that's if they served me at all. I moved away when someone vandalised my bike because I figured I would be next.So if being asked about your heritage is a problem ask me where I used to live.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Jensman, Like others have said. Its not the fact that they ask the question. Its how some people go about it and all the same questions that come after it.It's hard to explain the difference without rambling on. Also its not all about that first question but that's usually how it starts.I know its easy just to see a difference in some one's look and use that as your conversation topic but just think about how much you go on about it and how you ask all your questions and how it might make some one feel.As an example.... We walked into a shop the other weekend to purchase a cow skin rug. The older male guy working there jumped at Jane the second she walked in the door.In a loud voice across the shop... Were did you come from love? After the usual unenthusiastic response from Jane . He just went on and on about china and trying to impress her with cheese words and talking about China and chinese food anything he could think of. For F sake you couldn't shut him up. Chasing Jane around the shop like rambling on like a narrated Chinese lonely planet book. It was so corny and not once did he pick up on the fact that Jane was clearly not comfortable with him making a big Sean about it.He didn't even introduce him self or ask her name to him Jane was china girlTim
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'caitsidhe' The department for which I work for has gone from being administed from an area health service to being administered by a non clinical stream. The area health service adopted a sorry statement and implemented an Aboriginal health plan in consultation wth the Aboriginal Community Controlled Health Services...every single meeting attended was started by acknowledging the traditional owners of the land and welcoming any elders that were in attendance... Now, as I am no longer under the arm of that area Health service, we do no acknowledgements...I recently asked why this was not the case...the answer given to me was that the service I now work for is a diverse multicultural organization, with many cultures that would not understand the significance of the statement...hmmmmmits either one of two thingsIts a "Welcome to Country" Ceremony. Usually The Traditional Custodians of the Land, a appropriate senior representative of the local Aboriginal community performs this.orAn "Acknowledgement of Country" this is a way that all people can show respect for Aboriginal culture and heritage and the ongoing relationship the Traditional Custodians have with the Land.At the beginning of a meeting or function, a Chair or Speaker begins by Acknowledging that the meeting is taking place in the Country of the Traditional Custodians. Where the name of the Traditional Custodians is known, it is specifically used. Where it is not known, a general Acknowledgement is given.In regards to the original poster i feel that what you are experiencing is not racism under its true definition and intention of the word...
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RHP User
14 years ago
As I stated the department I used to work under adopted a Sorrystatement, as well as starting every meeting with the acknowledgement of the meetng taking place on the land of the Kamilaroi people (in my case) and also welcoming any elders that were present at the meeting. The issue I have is that now that I work under a different stream of Health we do not open any meetings with any acknowledgement of Country even though we are still meeting in the same place...it may not be racism..but I do have an issue that the Cultural respect for Aboriginal people has taken a step backward as the multicultural Executive staff do not believe this is necessary...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Chill out, can one not politely ask a question about someone's ethnicity without it being a major issue? Thought we were all here to play, not bicker over non-issues......?
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think there is nothing wrong with being curious or asking someone where they were born, their nationality or race. But what I don't understand is why people think others should be like them. Most often when your asked these questions its not out of curiosity its more likely that the person is being judged. This is a problem in Australia, people in Australia know little about rest of the world. I live in Western Australia and I believe half the people born in Western Australia have never been out of Western Australia. I am surprised that so many people don't even have a passport and the only time they have been overseas is when they went to Bali.Even this thread sounds like some kind of competition that how long you been in Australia. Why is that people think that I have been here long enough so I should be treated better. New arrivals can be treated bad. Australia is an immigrant country. Each and every one of us is from another land. If not them then their parents, if not their parents then their grandparents and so on. I think Australians have a very strong accent, exactly the same way Australians think I have an accent. I find other races equally as different as they find me. Vegemite tastes disgusting for people who havent tasted it before. Fish and chips got a stronger smell than a curry. Guys its just the way you see things, you way is different not necessarily right or wrong.Cant we just live together and share different cultures, ways of life, food, languages? Why is it important to try to judge people. Why is the person's nationality, race, skin color or country of birth relevant to the personality of the person?
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think my favourite rhp message read;"I love asian girls. let's fuck, and then later you can do my maths homework".What a charmer.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Interesting posts, i've been on both sides of the fence. I've asked people where they are from and have also been asked where i'm from. For me it's a natural curiosity not unlike Mrs Waterbabes, i just want to get to know people and generally their place of birth is part of it.i don't get upset if people ask me, in away i'm flattered that people want to take the time to get to know me.cheersa
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RHP User
14 years ago
We Aussies pride ourselfs on living in an approchable society of mate on mate & look after thy neighbour. We have sent men & women to their deaths overseas fighting in its honour & built from the ground up, a multicultral society of imports (me incl). True it was white Australia till the 70's but things change, Italians, Greeks, then Veitnamese & now broarderly Asians & others in general come here looking for this way of life. We are still over 90% white so unfortunantly you do still fall into a minority but you know & can take solace in the fact their is no malace or racism in what you are being asked. I mean being asked where you are from is because we Aussies in general foster this caring spirit, Id suggest their are bigger problems in the world than being asked where you are from now lets find something to complain about like why they dont drug test people on welfare or something similar
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RHP User
14 years ago
herandhimperth: Sure some one can politely ask? That would be fine. Tim
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'caitsidhe' As I stated the department I used to work under adopted a Sorrystatement, as well as starting every meeting with the acknowledgement of the meetng taking place on the land of the Kamilaroi people (in my case) and also welcoming any elders that were present at the meeting. The issue I have is that now that I work under a different stream of Health we do not open any meetings with any acknowledgement of Country even though we are still meeting in the same place...it may not be racism..but I do have an issue that the Cultural respect for Aboriginal people has taken a step backward as the multicultural Executive staff do not believe this is necessary...The Only " Sorry Statement" that has ever been made was done so by Kevin RuddI am interested to know about the "statement your Department adopted as it falls nowhere in line with the government policies adopted to respect aboriginal people.I find it highly unlikely that NSW Health would have done such a thing.I am a Kamilaroi woman (Kamilaroi is the english language spelling)I am a Gamilaraay bundar Woman (Gamilaraay aboriginal tribal language)So its safe to assume that i know a lot about my culture and its ceremonies and practices seeing as tho i have lived it all my life.When i was born...we had not long been recognised as people,before that we did not legally exist according to the government policies of the dayAlways Was ....Always Will Be
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RHP User
14 years ago
geee..some people are just too touchy.. most names are just handy references...not insults?? We cant always remember everyones name, and when you 1st meet people, we only know them VISUALLY. blondey cowgirl, tall black guy with asian wife, fat bald guy , big boob pom, and of course Bruce (the friendly asian single guy ) its all harmless stuff, and of course once you know people, you can call them whatever you like..get to know their culture blah blah.. my abo mate still likes to be called midnight.. Hardly racism...we treat him the same as everyone..jokes are good...boring PC rules are just boring. have fun...not stress
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RHP User
14 years ago
I see where you come from Jane I was born & bred here in OZ but my oldy's are Maltese I've coped that crap all my life but I'm proud of 2b Aussie & of my maltese heritage .... just send them on there way coz there mind is already polluted .... PS: from what I can see your hot x
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RHP User
14 years ago
I'm wondering who it is who's not doing her reading. The excerpt from the dictionary was in support of my initial statement that it was not a case of racism. If you've missed that maybe you might have noticed that Jane herself doesn't believe it was racist. I can accept that it's offensive purely because Tim and Jane took offense to it and it's not something I do myself. Would you care to offer any supporting evidence for your own accusations ???
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RHP User
14 years ago
Dunno how many times I've perved on your pics, but it wasn't til this thread that I realised Jane was not caucasian. I don't tend to check "race" under the description list, and I was a little, um, distracted by "good lord she can use punctuation and she's hot, where do I sign up?" I'm thinking I must be deficient in some way seeing as apparently it's her defining feature? Er that sounded wrong, too. Fuck. I'm going to stop typing, now, and just sit here with puppyface. :D
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RHP User
14 years ago
I actually think racism is a state of mind rather than an act, which the word "exclusion" implies..To me it's making a generalisation based on someone's ethnicity or appearance. I think we have a real problem with it, in australia, that we have inherited from the english. one of the things they brought with them on the boats. those with a long memory will remember billy connelly commenting on our generally racist attitudes 15 years or so back.So asking were someone is from is probably not racist. though if it's one of the first things you say. then it's obvious that the first thing you've noticed about someone is that they are different... you racist!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
As much as I realise Jane feels violated in some way because of the way some people treat her. You cant expect people to be exactly the way you would like them to be. Thats just not possible..Sadly ' there will always be people out there who whether they realise it or not' wont stop and think they may be upsetting some persons feelings.. especially where it comes to people who look a lil different.Dont get me wrong, Im not defending anyone. But it can become a two way street. I am one of them guys who genuinely like asian girls for all the right reasons and dated a few who were fantastic.. However' I have experienced some very defensive asian girls both on here and in life who seem to have a chip on their shoulder and look at you like you' re the enemy just out for a fuck.. End result' everyone loses out...Tim ' I could be wrong' but seems to me it's upsetting you moreso than Jane.... just my observation so plz dont bite my head off...
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RHP User
14 years ago
that's why I posted the definition. I was pulled up for this myself on the "Swinging + Racism = incompatible" thread. Quoting 'LittleRedEngine'I actually think racism is a state of mind rather than an act, which the word "exclusion" implies..To me it's making a generalisation based on someone's ethnicity or appearance. The "state of mind" you are referring to is racial predjudice. It's this state of mind that leads to racism which is the act of exclusion or eradication of a race. A lot of people obviously don't see it this way but I feel that racism is more severe than racial predjudice. It is possible for a person to be predjudiced against another race of people but realise that it would be wrong to act upon it. Then there are those who believe in their own superiority as a race and believe they have a right to "put others in their place". These people are racist.
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RHP User
14 years ago
i am from Europe...i have been living here for over 10 years....had been working in the US for 5, prior to moving here...and have been speaking fluent English for over 20 years...yet, of course, my accent remains...i deal with lots of different people, in my line of work...and almost every time, i talk to someone new....the first question is..."so, where is that accent from?"....and God, am i getting sick of it !!!! LOLon the same token though...i remain polite, still...as i guess, it is only human, to be curious about something/someonedifferent...and i try to take it as a flattering interest, in my cultural background...LOL
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RHP User
14 years ago
"I am one of them guys who genuinely like asian girls"Jay, this isn't an attack at you, I understand your intentions are good. This is just pointing out a few things.Just in that statement is such a generalisation. All people are individuals. I like some girls that are Asian and think other girls that happen to be Asian are terrible and not my cup of tea at all. The statement is a bit like saying they are all the same.I hear it all the time people saying, "I like Asian girls because of this or that trait or personality." It just makes me laugh as they are usually such common generations. People have their own personality and traits on how they present themselves to the world. It can be at all ends of the spectrum no matter what race they are.I don't have a bigger issue with it than what Jane does, but I do post on the forums more. Tim
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RHP User
14 years ago
I feel uncomfortable about being perceived as touchy and hypersensitive about this issue. I do admit that there is a difference between having a genuine interest in the person vs having a more condescending manner.Really, after 34 years, one does get used to being asked. In fact, so used to getting asked, that I'm usually ready with the standard answers. ("Yes, I was born here." "Yes, really". "Yes, you can speak faster, I am keeping up". "No I don't drive a silver Camry." "No, my car's a manual and not an automatic") {little guilty squirm here, I am paying my parents out big time. Hope they're not on this forum!}{Tim just did a gruesome shiver and said "never mention them and this part of our life in the same sentence"}And I have enough social nous, that if you do ask me in an inappropriate way, that you are not going to know that you've asked something that I've only answered 16,000,000 times already...although you will get an eye roll or two once you turn away.I will admit to being surprised that this topic started from a conversation in the car (with the cowskin rug in the back) to ending up here in the forums. But hell, 3 pages later, shows that perhaps it irks more than just myself. Any more of my foibles and eccentricities you'd like to discuss here, Tim? No, that is NOT an open invitation to do so.Jane
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RHP User
14 years ago
Well said .... I do try hard to understand but I guess we will never know it like you. There are and always will be certain sections of the community who have these condesending attitudes.. Better known as the bigots of the world.Unfortuneately, I have a friend who falls into this catagory and it dont sit well with me.. I am one of those people who beleive we enrich our lives with acceptance of each other no matter where we come from... My good mate next door used to drive a silver automatic camry before he recently sold it. and yes' he is asian.. so dont talk too loud.. lolBest you stay outta that car with the cowskin rug if you want to avoid such topics.... lol
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RHP User
14 years ago
I'm eighth generation Australian but my accent is a little strange, I don't sound like a typical Aussie.I always have people ask me where I am from and then make comments about my accent. It can be really frustrating when it's one of the first things someone says to you.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I am an Indian, my look wont dissatisfy you, I am not into group behaviour as others, I gets lot...wt to say? Some dont want to come out of their own comfort zone, let them live...
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RHP User
14 years ago
This may brush people the wrong way and is a bit off topic. But sometimes people are very racist on here, other times they are searching for a certain preference. I have an amazing looking caucasian wife, but often we both talk about fantasies involving people from other races ie black, asian, arabic. I could completely understand if people asked us where we were from. I think it is just curiosity and we for some reason think that the will be different and often stereotype each race sexually.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Geeze. I have lived overseas for most of my adult life and never took offence when someone asked me where I was from. Now I am back in Australia with my non-Aussie wife she gets it all the time and it also doesn't worry her. It is just interesting and can be a great way to break the ice. I love travel and different cultures thats all. Your thinking too much :-) I do agree though it is funny when people specify race on their profile. The black guys who think every woman is after a black cock are also funny. Why would someone like this think we would pick them because of their skin colour?
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RHP User
14 years ago
I hope I haven't posted anything that's offended either of you. I do get carried away sometimes and I seem to have hijacked your thread or a while there. It's good that Jane can see this problem isn't racist and I can easily see how the shear repetetivness of the question can be frustrating. It doesn't matter that the person asking doesn't mean any offense, if you take offense that makes it offensive. Just as an aside (and this in no way means I know how you feel) believe it or not, I've been asked this very same question many times myself. Although it wouldn't come across in a post, I don't have an ocker accent and I am softly spoken so my own origins are occasionally questioned. Ce la vie.
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RHP User
14 years ago
The truth is, we don't even come close to some of the predjudisms of other cultures. Ask the Kurds, the Tibetans, the Jews or the Bahaiis whether they think white men are the most predjudicial people they've come across. I've even been the victim of racial intolerance in my own country. As a child, while visiting my grand parents in Grafton, I went down to the park by the Clarence River and tried to join in the games of the other kids there. They were Aboriginal but that didn't mean anything to me. It did to them. I wasn't welcome. One of them beat me silly while the Aboriginal adults watched on. On a visit to Macdonalds in Bankstown, I was beaten by a gang of Lebonese boys. The one that did most of the talking said, "We don't like Aussies, especially when they ride motorbikes." This, in addition to national and international news reports over the past decade is why I'm wary of Arabic men that I'm not familiar with.
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RHP User
14 years ago
like Callisto_rain, I lived in Japan for 5 years. I was engaged to a Japanese guy for 2 years (that's a whole nother story). My problem was that I couldn't do *anything* without random people coming up to me and asking me questions. Ok, people are curious, that's all well and good. But you get a bit tired of it when 'Where are you from' turns into a conversation about marital status, sexual preference, the size of my breasts, have I tried sushi... I would get followed thru shops, we couldn't go out to dinner without the table next to us freaking out about a blonde girl speaking japanese. I don't think it's racism. I think it's lack of manners. I've tried explaining this to people a number of times. You don't just walk up to someone you think is hot and say 'what size are your breasts?'... you generally do the whole "hi, my name's john, i like your dress etc etc" introduction thing before it's appropriate to start asking a personal question. And that's what this is, in Australia, if you're not 100% caucasian, it's a personal question. In Japan, you don't go round asking people if they're half Korean or Filipino. I actually used to enjoy having arguements in bars with Japanese people who insisted I couldn't be of Japanese nationality because I was white. And for what it's worth, I have issues with profiles that say they like Asian girls, just as much as I have issues with the Japanese girls who want to be black because 'they're all good dancers'... Bottom line? We're all people first, and deserve to be treated with respect and good manners, regardless of where we're from or how big our tits are... and for the record? they're World cup lol
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RHP User
14 years ago
First off, once again its not racism. But can't edit the title to the post. It's nice to see other people get it to. It's all about tact and a lot of people seem to loose all there manners in how they go about things. You just need stop and think perhaps the person doesn't want to be singled out and a big song and dance made about there differences. Then blasted with a ton of questions that are based on a ton of usumptions.The African looking man might want to talk to you about the football game and motor racing and not answer questions about if there grandmother was a witchdoctor and the size of his cock.Get to know the person and treat them like any other friend you are meeting for the first time . Quoting 'lookingforminx' like Callisto_rain, I lived in Japan for 5 years. I was engaged to a Japanese guy for 2 years (that's a whole nother story). My problem was that I couldn't do *anything* without random people coming up to me and asking me questions. Ok, people are curious, that's all well and good. But you get a bit tired of it when 'Where are you from' turns into a conversation about marital status, sexual preference, the size of my breasts, have I tried sushi... I would get followed thru shops, we couldn't go out to dinner without the table next to us freaking out about a blonde girl speaking japanese. I don't think it's racism. I think it's lack of manners. I've tried explaining this to people a number of times. You don't just walk up to someone you think is hot and say 'what size are your breasts?'... you generally do the whole "hi, my name's john, i like your dress etc etc" introduction thing before it's appropriate to start asking a personal question. And that's what this is, in Australia, if you're not 100% caucasian, it's a personal question. In Japan, you don't go round asking people if they're half Korean or Filipino. I actually used to enjoy having arguements in bars with Japanese people who insisted I couldn't be of Japanese nationality because I was white. And for what it's worth, I have issues with profiles that say they like Asian girls, just as much as I have issues with the Japanese girls who want to be black because 'they're all good dancers'... Bottom line? We're all people first, and deserve to be treated with respect and good manners, regardless of where we're from or how big our tits are... and for the record? they're World cup lol
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RHP User
14 years ago
My opinion, i ask questions about all aspects of a persons background, not because i'm racist or even naive but because i'm interested in them as a person and their background, including that of their forefathers is part of what they are. i understand where you're all coming from but for goodness sake don't pick on people just because they show an interest in your heritage.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I recently did a day of training for work where I had to mingle with other folks on the training. You know the sort of thing, icebreaker games and all that. I spoke to a man who appeared to be from somewhere in Africa. I have no idea whereabouts in Africa. It's a big continent with huge diversity in peoples. But I didn't ask him whereabouts he was from. Instead I asked him: "What's your favourite colour?"I'm happy to report that it's blue.I also asked him: "What's your favourite movie?"He replied, "Two And A Half Men".Now, that's a series, not a movie. But I let it slide because I'm sensitive towards cultural differences. Just thought I'd report back with my growth and learnings. Also to try to lighten the mood a little, in true class clown style.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Australia is a very multi-cultural sociaty, and although some would dissagree, quite integrated. After living in London for 4 years, where you are lucky to find any one who is actually from there let alone speaks english, asking some one where they are from based on their appearance is quite a normal part of human interaction. It still blows me away some of my friends who are second gen Aus whos family originated from say Vietnam, speak with a broader accent than alf stuart. I really think racist is a word that gets thrown around far too easily now days and can sometime be a reflection on the perseveres level of "openness" in their personality (see big five personality traits). Hopefully racism will one day get an argument clause like "Godwins Law" to nazi analogies (obviously not the case in this post) to make arguments and peoples thinking more constructive rather than just pulling the "R" card.Small talk wise, asking where someone is from is a gold mine for further discussion. Australia has a VERY checkered immigration past, and just by asking how long your family has been here you can pin point what was happening in the world at the time. For instance your family immigrated from Yugoslavia in the late 80s, you would then be like WOW were they all ok did any stay behind during the war ect..... Usually followed by a joke of man you guys are great soccer players! (Perth Glory)....It seriously happens to everyone! My second gen friends find it funny when they go visit family, and a tourist will talk to them in from a travel language book in Vietnamese , and their like "Im Australian for F sake" .. Would you count it as racist in that case?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Seriously ...who cares, and why let it trouble you nothing wrong with being out of the ordinary , I was a welsh boy (Cauc-asian) please note the dash lol who grew up in the West Indies hmmm stood out like Dogs balls ...then when returned Sic (home) was a freak because my accent was different...lol What part of India did I come from was what I was asked????? and then after alighting in good old OZ was asked if I was Canadian/African and Swiss...hmmm nice combo... Nothing is going to solve bad education or narrow mindedness so be like a duck and let the water run off your back...Just as us new (22 yrs being in this country) Immigrants say..."No Worries" Always been more people here before
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RHP User
14 years ago
Please I loved your dialogue but how am I supposed to take that seriously when you have that pic of a cock entering you ? or visa versa whilst I read your post lol...though I do agree with your direction....(Way better than One Direction) :-)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hi guys, well my husband created our profile and thought if he included my cultural background, this would attract curious couples who like a bit of chocolate. I'm not no ordinary piece of chocolate. They call me a Ferrearo Roche, sweet and a bit nutty. I do love asking people where they are from because I love asking questions. Hope this helps C
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RHP User
14 years ago
She must be one of those chocolates with the creamy filling.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I'm prob'ly in the shit again now, ey?
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RogueGeek
14 years ago
but today I am procrastinating, so here I am.I am regularly asked where I am from. And for some reason, my answer is always met with surprise:"So where are you from?""Perth""Oh. But where were your parents from?""Perth""Oh, but...""My mother's family came over with the first round of convicts. And they were real criminals too! none of this bread-stealing shit... My father's family were free settlers in Albany. I am 7th and 5th generation Australian.""But you have black hair!"They usually then insist that I must be Italian or Spanish - I even had somebody ask me if I were Asian And all because of black hair...Cheers,MS
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RogueGeek
14 years ago
So far I have a slight automatic preference towards abled people vs disabled people; and a strong automatic prefence towards gay people vs straight people... I haven't done the race one yet :PCheers,MSPS - sorry for going off topic! Quoting 'lil_bit_angelic' Agree with posters who have described their curiosity - I've travelled extensively and am endlessly curious about people and their cultures. I ask a gazillion questions and will now be much more mindful abou how and when I do that. Disagree that such questions about background etc aren't racist. I think sometimes they are and sometime they aren't. If the question, or the response, leads to the asker making conscious or even unconscious judgments or assumptions, this is a definite form of racism. If you're not sure what I mean, g_oogle the Harvard unconscious bias test and give it a go. You might learn some things about yourself - I sure did, and it wasn't all great. But it was a great reminder to work more on being the person I truly aspire to be x
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RHP User
14 years ago
I must have got this women on her worst day, because sh opened a tiraid of racial abuse on me... I was interested in meeting with her for some NSA fun but her reply was " no right minded full blooded Australian women would ever consider a dark guy like me... she said I was middle eastern, and they were no good etc.. I mean it went on for a while". Well first of all IM not middle eastern. I'm more eastern European and I still can't believe this stuff stilll goes on in Sydney and even over the internet.... I've got a simple question for you Australian women, do u find me attractive, dark guys in general - oh I've also got a brain ;) perhaps I should time down the profile or something... my success rate has not been too god here... any advice form women will be taken as women know what they want.Thanks./Sasha
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RogueGeek
14 years ago
You're a single bloke so you're success rate is not going to be fantastic. I could give you more feedback but this really isn't the right forum for it.I can say, for myself skin colour is a non-issue. Discussing physical attributes only, a guy's torso is my 'sweet spot' - I like a particular shape/build that I wont go into here, but suffice it to say if you don't fit that mould you would need some very redeeming features in other areas. If the guy (or lady) has a figure I apprediate, I really don't care what colour it is.Cheers,MS Quoting 'sist3m' I must have got this women on her worst day, because sh opened a tiraid of racial abuse on me... I was interested in meeting with her for some NSA fun but her reply was " no right minded full blooded Australian women would ever consider a dark guy like me... she said I was middle eastern, and they were no good etc.. I mean it went on for a while". Well first of all IM not middle eastern. I'm more eastern European and I still can't believe this stuff stilll goes on in Sydney and even over the internet.... I've got a simple question for you Australian women, do u find me attractive, dark guys in general - oh I've also got a brain ;) perhaps I should time down the profile or something... my success rate has not been too god here... any advice form women will be taken as women know what they want.Thanks./Sasha
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RHP User
14 years ago
I dont hold any preconceived ideas about anyone based on race. On here, I look for a strong manly man, nice smile, cute butt, attentive and the ability to hold a conversation (not looking for Einstein though - lets face it, we are on a sex site!). You seem to fit the bill Mrs Waterbabes xxx P.S. Perhaps change your opening line from "I just want to sex her..." to something like "I just want to make you cum...". Just my thoughts!
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RHP User
14 years ago
When people I know well tell me about a non-white person, they almost always mention their heritage and/or race.When on first dates or even just meet guys, there is some mention of my race. My most serious boyfriend felt a need to tell me that he'd most likely end up with a "white girl."In Asia, I was told that my education made up for that whole black thing by a recruiter who sent my application in for a job that listed "Caucasian" as a requirement. In Australia so far, I've had people automatically ask if I'm from Ethiopia, Sudan or Jamaica, because of course, my very western accent isn't any indication of my nationality. People routinely touch my hair and skin, catching themselves and asking permission shortly after initiating this super maddening contact.There is nothing unique about this perception of your wife. She's probably as used to it as I am to the above experiences because if she didn't get used to this from an early age, she would most likely go mad. My advice to 1) not let it get to you too much or you will go mad and 2) make it a light-hearted teachable moment. Example:some dbag: where are you from love?your wife: brisbanedbag: no, but where were you born?your wife: brisbaneyou: where were YOU born? (with a friendly smile so the person catches own ignorance/stupidityAs for people advertising the continent of origin of their partners, you should really feel bad for the women who are obviously partnered with complete f-tards. even if these guys don't just see their partners in that way, they are advertising this part of their partner's identity for the purpose of drawing in the curious or flat-out race fetishists.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'sist3m' I must have got this women on her worst day, because sh opened a tiraid of racial abuse on me... I was interested in meeting with her for some NSA fun but her reply was " no right minded full blooded Australian women would ever consider a dark guy like me... she said I was middle eastern, and they were no good etc.. I mean it went on for a while". Well first of all IM not middle eastern. I'm more eastern European and I still can't believe this stuff stilll goes on in Sydney and even over the internet.... I've got a simple question for you Australian women, do u find me attractive, dark guys in general - oh I've also got a brain ;) perhaps I should time down the profile or something... my success rate has not been too god here... any advice form women will be taken as women know what they want.Thanks./Sasha Sasha, Darling. You are hot. Why are you even online? Go out and get some action!
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RHP User
14 years ago
It's the little things like mentioning heritage before you speak about some one to another. Its like they have to lay down a foundation for for the other person to start stereotyping .I see it like this. If I was to start my conversation with another person with. I met Jane this Asian, Greek, Indian, Spanish,Italian,African....(take your pick in heritage ) but by mentioning her heritage as you opening description . The other person instantly uses the basic image and stereotypes of that race as the foundation in there head to Build a idea of who the person might be.If they just started with I met this girl on the weekend called Jane She's really into surfing and just moved up the coast from Melb. We went to the beach and she's a real joker, Great smile but stubborn as hell but. I let her have her way because she is so cute.Isn't the above how most white people would start there conversation about another white person (no mention of heritage).? Its just become the norm to mention the race and paint the picture.TimQuoting 'savagedisciplina' When people I know well tell me about a non-white person, they almost always mention their heritage and/or race.When on first dates or even just meet guys, there is some mention of my race. My most serious boyfriend felt a need to tell me that he'd most likely end up with a "white girl."In Asia, I was told that my education made up for that whole black thing by a recruiter who sent my application in for a job that listed "Caucasian" as a requirement. In Australia so far, I've had people automatically ask if I'm from Ethiopia, Sudan or Jamaica, because of course, my very western accent isn't any indication of my nationality. People routinely touch my hair and skin, catching themselves and asking permission shortly after initiating this super maddening contact.There is nothing unique about this perception of your wife. She's probably as used to it as I am to the above experiences because if she didn't get used to this from an early age, she would most likely go mad. My advice to 1) not let it get to you too much or you will go mad and 2) make it a light-hearted teachable moment. Example:some dbag: where are you from love?your wife: brisbanedbag: no, but where were you born?your wife: brisbaneyou: where were YOU born? (with a friendly smile so the person catches own ignorance/stupidityAs for people advertising the continent of origin of their partners, you should really feel bad for the women who are obviously partnered with complete f-tards. even if these guys don't just see their partners in that way, they are advertising this part of their partner's identity for the purpose of drawing in the curious or flat-out race fetishists.
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RHP User
14 years ago
It's not just painting a picture for the other person. I think it is an accurate description of how people see us. I've heard people --from strangers to dear friends-- describe me, at times in my presence, and my race is the first of two or three things mentioned. If I think of my friends of various races, nationalities, etc., the first thing I'd mention would be something about who they are (unless I'm just showing off.... i.e. "my Brazilian-Norwegian friend said the funniest thing the other day"), not what they look like or some other b.s. so the listener can put them in a box. I'm glad that you appreciate the ridiculousness of this all and perhaps you can change people's pre-conceptions.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hate racisam 100/ aus what's that
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RHP User
13 years ago
Good to know I am not the only one who gets annoyed at this ! I have mixed european family background and grew up with an italian surname so everyone naturally assumed I was "italiano" except for the fact that I simply inherited this name from my father who was 2nd generation aussie/italian/spanish (although looked the part spoke very little of the language and grew up in the white australia days when being a 'wog' was a bad thing). My mum on the other on the hand was russian and having immigrated here as a young child made sure that she raised her kids in keeping with russian culture and traditions. Due to my mum marriying outside of her culture and carrying a non-russian surname I felt we were a little outcast from our russian social network and other families and russian friends percieved us as "different" or "unpure" or something. Sounds silly - but its true ! By the time I grew up and left home, I no longer kept to any strict traditions and wanted to move away with all association with culture as I felt very strongly that it did not represent who I "truely" was inside - just ME, who I am without being associated with something that allows people to have a preconcieved idea of who you must be, what you must like, how you must act- before they have even met you, cause they judge you on your looks or simply an ethnic sounding surname ! To make matters worse- I married my husband and took on his surname which is "normal" sounding, but has unusual welsh spelling. Shortly after this, after this after years of devotion to spiritual practice I was given the honour of being gifted a spiritual name which I took on immediately to show my commitment- it is from ancient sanskrit language and sounds Indian. Naturally when people see my printed name on business cards or hear it over phone, they naturally assume I am indian. The either immediately say " what part of india are you from?" or when they meet me in person are suprised and say " Oh, i expected you would look indian" ! I have also noticed that I get alot of Idian clients, who I can only imagine may come to see me simply because they think I might be indian too ?! At any rate, I can't blame anyone for this- but at least once a day I get asked " so where are you from love?" and when I say "sydney", they say "no where are you from" and I say " If you mean what is my cultural gene pool, it is mixed european". Then there is a pause.... before they say "oh, I thought you were indian !" OMG ! Then if you mention you changed your name for spiritual reasons, that usually ends the conversation there- cause that is just all tooooo wierd ! I know, I know - I should have just changed my name to Sally Jones ! Honestly, I know it is just most peoples way of starting conversation. ie. asking "where are you from so I can identify with you in some way" But really - in this day and age it just drives me insane ! The world is getting smaller- we cant assume anything anymore, just the same way that in conversation when someone mentions "my Partner...." or My partner and I..." I dont ever just assume they are hetro !
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