M62
Lust for life.
April 28 2014
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
After a heart attack,I was diagnosed with depression..... I thought that every breath would be my last....so I did four things....I went to a counsellor who was not at all sympathetic, but she was perfect for me...I listened to Mozart.... His music lifts your mind to an increased Alpha state,and I went shopping at least every second day...because I knew that leaving the house was important..... The fourth thing was my usual meditation practices.....within six months I was functioning again....the fear and despair had gone xx Q
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madotara69
12 years ago
Have spent time with a few people/friends suffering with depression. One in particular had been the life of the crew for years, he dropped and was fading away too nothing. He was a nine hour drive away, I drove up and sat beside him in bed, managed to get him to take me into his town and buy me a pie from his favourite spot, the coffee was the thing there, good coffee. I told him to shove that shit up his arse, he was supposed to be looking after all us (his friends), he could not be bothered arguing still, on the way home I asked him to stop at a shop on the side of the road, went in bought a newspaper,his favourite sweets, some flowers for his wife and a toy for his kid. Came back sat in the car and on we went. Near his home he said "shit I should have bought something to bring home myself". I opened the bag pulled out the flowers, the paper and the toy, he broke down a little as we approached his home, I just told him it was not all about him. We went and sat looking out over their estate, sat at the coffee table by the pool that was the only thing he had been able to get out of bed for, cleaning a leaf if it landed in the crystal clear water. He sat and opened his paper, taller than before eating his sweets, his wife came out with a look of discombobulation and gave me a smile as he gave her those flowers and showed her the toy. It was their moment and I was just happy to be with some friends. Sometimes it's just a matter of finding what is so important, things could be a lot worse. His doctor told him it was a disease of some kind, well I think a friend can be the best medicine of all. He is well again. As for me, I met my friend twenty years ago, but I fell in love with her, long story, he he. Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
At the beginning of January I had a bad fall, and soon after that I said good bye to a very close family member. The physical part could have been a lot worse, but mentally I hit an all time low. I got a daily phone call from 2 friends from RHP, and then I met a third. Between the 3 of them they reminded me that there were worse things in life and to get my head out of my arse and to start living life again. Thank you, I'm proud to call all 3 of you friends xxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
I recently opened a bottle of Shiraz..... and was instantly energised by the pop of the cork. Faaaark I love and miss that sound!
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Smilingwithfun
12 years ago
A friend is someone who steps in, when the world steps out.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well the last two years have been hell and heaven. To give you an idea of what happened. Husband left me for another man (yes my ex husband is gay apparently) Had a hysterectomy for early stage uterine cancer. Forced to sell my home within 4 months of separation. Father had two strokes and was diagnosed with the most aggressive form of asbestos cancer. My oldest son moved out. My youngest went to live with his dad and his partner fulltime. Moved houses six times, my luck to find the worst housemates ever. Met a wonderful man and for 4 months was happy. Father passed away after 7 months from diagnosis. Then my boyfriend left me for his soulmate of 20yrs. The day we returned home from celebrating our birthdays in Bali. Hit rock bottom and I mean the very bottom and there is only on step left after that and you never return. But you know some of things had a positive to them as well. My ex husband is happy and I'm happy that we are not together anymore. My fathers suffering did not drag out too long. My early uterine cancer diagnosis saved my life. My oldest son is holding down a job and supporting himself. My youngest now knows his father is gay and is happy living with them. I finally realised I had to get my own place and live on my for the very first time in my life. My ex boyfriend is very content with his soulmate and I wish him every happiness. I know what it is feel so bad that all you want is sleep so your mind and heart can rest for just a moment. My saviour was time to heal, a good friend to share my thoughts and to make me laugh again. (thanks JellyB) Getting out into the world and feel the sun on my face and the cool water around me. Time with family starting with small visits and building them back again. Have a mantra that you say when you look in the mirror each day until your heart and soul catch up with your head. Remember your allowed to have down days but you also have to pick yourself up and keep going. As there is so much to look forward to in the future. I hope by sharing my story that someone may read it and take something positive from it. Especially if right now its what they really needed.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Why was it canned ?? For becoming to dark !!!! That is the very attitude that must be squashed RHP editors ?! Listen up for this is why suicide in Australia is an epidemic !! It is swept under the carpet because people are to afraid to talk about such a taboo subject !!! Fuck fuck fuck speak out speak loud speak strong fellow men beautiful women of our country we are all in it together never never feel alone or embarrassed to cry or yell at the top of your lungs scream in pain let your tears flow and yell loud for help we australia are one together we will battle through the pain of love lost !! The pain of loneliness and heartache for it is heavy on our soul and can bring a strong man to his knees but never ever be afraid to cry or cry for help !!! We all need help every so often and so many live to help those who cry out never ever suffer in your own hidden sorrow for life will always give you so much so much to give even when you are down remember you will always go up and up and triumph again and love and live and enjoy everything life has to offer never give up on life LIFE AND LOVE WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON US XXXXXXXXX - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
you are right. We show to less emotions...we hug not enough and we run away from loving. Not me.....I hug and kiss when I feel I should.....I cry of the drop of my head for happiness or sadness. And in the most frightened time I was saved by reading FOOT ROOT FLATS.......haah the best for my insanity and shit nightmares which I had. And friends, the one you can call and cry your heart out.....the one who lives behind me and knows when I feel crappy....and my two sons, who know me in and out. After darkness comes sunshine........we need the darkness to know how beautiful the sunshine is, how wonderful a bird song, how thrilling a laughter, how important the people who surround us. We need the darkness to know material things don't matter, just love and the minimal to survive. My darkness let me see, my darkness let me feel more with a voice so powerful it can rip through anything, my darkness made me love, my darkness opened my heart. In my darkness I found my strength, in my darkness I saw the light. We are all made in a strong way, just don't know it until we hid rock bottom and have to fight for it all, then we go and sleep in a cocoon for a while and rest in our own world until we learn the next step, and out comes a butterfly so colorful and bright.....and even when we will only live for a short time we know now we live and life is wonderful.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Litonya and Bigocean72 thank you so much for your writing on this subject. Both are beautiful and thought provoking. Wishing you both happiness
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RHP User
12 years ago
Ms_silk!! You are an amazing woman. To go through what you've been through and come out the other side you are a true inspiration. I too had to deal with a whole lot of stuff from the early 90's for a good ten plus years, not to your extent but similar in that it was really hard at the time. It started with a depressed mother who managed to take her own life after 3 attempts. I now believe she was undiagnosed and living with bipolar (having had a sister, an aunty and a female cousin all diagnosed with it after her death, fortunately I somehow have missed out). For me, I found spiritualism and it was my saviour. I'm not a religious nutter but it helped me deal with her death at the time and all the family members who followed soon after, my grandmother and 29 year old brother in 2000. It helped me to understand that everything happens for a reason and sometimes we can make no sense of that. But if we can come out the other side a better person and learn and grow from our experiences then we are achieving our purpose in our life's master plan... Everybody is not exempt, everyone is given their own heartaches to deal with, it's how you deal with them that is the key. I saw a clairvoyant the other day and she was AMAZING!!! She knew everything about me lol thanks to my mother coming through in spirit. Names, places, life events, what I'd been up to on RHP (yes, that was funny, imagine your mother knowing what you get up to on here, too funny to contemplate), really spooky stuff. One of the things that got me though was within the first 5 minutes when she asked me who Cassie was, then asked again, who is Cassandra? We don't know anyone by that name but I immediately knew who she was referring to. In 1997 I had my first of two miscarriages. I was 12 weeks pregnant at the time when my waters broke on AFL grand final day. I passed what was my baby in a doctors surgery and they put it into one of those green kidney shaped dishes. I asked to see it and they said they think it had stopped growing at about 9 weeks, the mass looked nothing like a baby so I dealt with my loss quite easily I suppose and hadn't given either of my miscarriages much thought over the years other than reaching the conclusion that I thought they might have been girls seeing as how we went on to have 3 gorgeous healthy boys. Back to the clairvoyant- Cassie was the girls name I had picked for that first baby, no one knew that, my husband didn't even remember. I knew who she was referring to though and that little baby has grown up in spirit with my mother (so I was told anyway....) I love that thought.... And I know that I have spirit guides and angels around me that I can ask for help when I need it. Everyone has them, turn to them in your time of need and they will be there for you.... You know when you are talking about something and get covered in goosebumps, that's a sign they are with you... Happens to me all the time and when I'm with spiritual friends we get 'whooshed' we call it all the time. It's comforting knowing they are with me all the time...... (Well maybe not ALL the time......... Wink, wink, nudge, nudge)........ Mrs LTL
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RHP User
12 years ago
What you all have to remember is you can show someone the brightness of life point out theree are so much better off than others and look on all that the future holds sometimes people have picked themselves up so many times they cant anymore. Sometimes they dont have good things to look back on or at ....often there is no consoling..... You make it sound simple Mado but that is a very scary approach you showed him............ because he could have very well decided the next day that why didnt he think of those things........... Many people cant handle the fact they feel they have let others down it can be more about self esteem than they are just sad it can be so much more. Yes we all seem to think if someone is depressed they are not strong ........... I have encountered many people on anti depressents and sometimes those do not help. It is people and understanding. Thanks J
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'Cest_la_viebaby' What you all have to remember is you can show someone the brightness of life point out theree are so much better off than others and look on all that the future holds sometimes people have picked themselves up so many times they cant anymore. Sometimes they dont have good things to look back on or at ....often there is no consoling..... You make it sound simple Mado but that is a very scary approach you showed him............ because he could have very well decided the next day that why didnt he think of those things........... Many people cant handle the fact they feel they have let others down it can be more about self esteem than they are just sad it can be so much more. Yes we all seem to think if someone is depressed they are not strong ........... I have encountered many people on anti depressents and sometimes those do not help. It is people and understanding. Thanks J He thought about all that while I was with him, that is why I was there and if he sank again I would have been straight back up to be with him again. I left that family once he was up and looking after things , he still is. There is nothing scary finding the best in people, these medicines don't do that. That is scary, I believe. Even the World of medicine is calling caution to just how much of the stuff is being prescribed here in Australia. Miles above the rest. I have also spent time with other friends really fucked up on the shit. Some is like coming down from Heroin, worse even.
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RHP User
12 years ago
You were lucky in that instance, because what you said to that guy could very well have sent him further into depression. Perhaps he did feel better temporarily but if he had a serious problem the lows would return. Some of the worst things you can say to someone who is clinically depressed, are those guilt-inspiring statements like, "remember things could always be worse" / "it's not just about you, why don't you think about your family" / "come on just snap out of it" / "if you just make an effort you'll get better". I put it this way, if someone has cancer you don't say those sorts of things to them. Depression is an illness just as much as cancer is, and you have as much chance of curing someone's depression by trying to rationalise things and make them feel guilty as you do of curing cancer using similar methods. Most people who are depressed are already feeling guilty enough about the way they feel, they don't need it to be shoved in their faces and if it is it will usually just make them feel worse because they can't just 'fix' themselves easily like people think they should be able to. Part of the problem is our use of the word 'depressed' in everyday language, which to most people just means a temporary low which they will get over quite quickly. Almost all of us go through those types of lows in response to stresses, but there is a Grand Canyon's worth of difference between that type of depression and true clinical depression, but most people don't know that and try to approach them both in the same manner.
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'Luckdragon23' You were lucky in that instance, because what you said to that guy could very well have sent him further into depression. Perhaps he did feel better temporarily but if he had a serious problem the lows would return. Some of the worst things you can say to someone who is clinically depressed, are those guilt-inspiring statements like, "remember things could always be worse" / "it's not just about you, why don't you think about your family" / "come on just snap out of it" / "if you just make an effort you'll get better". I put it this way, if someone has cancer you don't say those sorts of things to them. Depression is an illness just as much as cancer is, and you have as much chance of curing someone's depression by trying to rationalise things and make them feel guilty as you do of curing cancer using similar methods. Most people who are depressed are already feeling guilty enough about the way they feel, they don't need it to be shoved in their faces and if it is it will usually just make them feel worse because they can't just 'fix' themselves easily like people think they should be able to. Part of the problem is our use of the word 'depressed' in everyday language, which to most people just means a temporary low which they will get over quite quickly. Almost all of us go through those types of lows in response to stresses, but there is a Grand Canyon's worth of difference between that type of depression and true clinical depression, but most people don't know that and try to approach them both in the same manner. Then you have no idea what so ever about what I am talking of, therefore you are wrong and I shall continue doing what is right, it has never failed. Lucky yes, my friends Dr was wrong or maybe a few dollars better off. I don't know but there was no disease in my friend just a lost spirit. Same as the rest of the lucky friends. I know there is an organ up in our brain that produces all kinds of wonderful things and if it fails then that person is going to be sick. Then medicine may just help. Sometimes that organ just turns off too. Guilt does not turn it back on, love can I am well aware for the medical side of this problem, please don't take me as a fool.
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RHP User
12 years ago
More power to the poeple who are able to work through their shit, or somehow deny it... I managed to deny it till I was 30 but when I crashed, there was no more denying it. I can't go back and as I age, I wouldn't want to. But... . I know perfectly well there are things (in my case I call them family, my hubby and children) worth living for. I've been doing it for 50 years all the while putting up with people who think they can somehow help me with their gratuitous advice. Those people who tell me to get over it, that it's not that bad, that I worry too much. Lord, and I move around through the world and wonder at how much poeple don't care, don't want to know, want to hide in their safe little worlds and keep the truth away from the door. I stood holding a banner out the front of the building where the first day of the Royal Commsion into 'Institutional Responses to Sexual Abuse of Children in care' was being held yesterday. I was in the city and the number of people who bustled past trying desparately to avoid us was laughable. Don't look, you might have to give a shit. Thank God for the few who looked us in the eyes and saw us as people, not just a detriment to getting on with ther day!!! . I'd rather be me with all my problems that seem to be so much more for disturbing for other people than for me.
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RHP User
12 years ago
...but this is a complex and scary issue that can't be fixed with an afternoon of friendly banter. Still, if I were suffering depression, you are the kind of friend I would want in my corner. Ce_la_viebaby is completely correct. Some of these examples could upset a person with depression even more. If you tell a person all they need is their family around them to pull through but that is what they are missing, it will make them feel worse. As usual though, Quafenta, you are inspirational. You're a very special lady.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sometimes when you are in the slough of despond,the people around you feel helpless.....Mado connected with his friend through love.for many years this friend had cared about others,now MIT was their turn to care about him...it wasn't Mado's words it was his actions... Connecting to this man's spirit with his care... If only we all had a Mado in our livesxx Q
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madotara69
12 years ago
clinical depression be cured?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Including clinical depression... At the bottom of the page it says, "Remember, depression is treatable and effective treatments are available. The earlier youseek help, the better"
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'MrsPeachyPear' Including clinical depression... At the bottom of the page it says, "Remember, depression is treatable and effective treatments are available. The earlier youseek help, the better" Peachy, So it can be cured.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' Quoting 'MrsPeachyPear' Including clinical depression... At the bottom of the page it says, "Remember, depression is treatable and effective treatments are available. The earlier youseek help, the better" Peachy, So it can be cured. Saying that it's treatable doesn't necessarily mean it can be cured. Some people make a full recovery but many people will live with it for their entire lives, in which case it can often be effectively managed with the appropriate 'treatment' (whether that be medication, psychology or a combination, plus other lifestyle factors). I have over 10 years history of depression, during which time I have done a lot of research and listened to / read many other people's stories - I'm not just talking out of my ass here.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I was feeling like a total failure for a moment there because of my inability to be 'cured'! No offence meant to you Mado. I've got a close to 50 years history of depression and been in and out of treatment for close to twenty years but I still won't speak with any authority because I have such a poor short term memory. A lot of current efforts include not pushing myself so hard, it hasn't helped. . And a tip for anyone, with or without mental issues, eat regularly, it helps to stabilise your moods!
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madotara69
12 years ago
I know there is some conditions of depression, as I said earlier, where chemicals our bodies produce are just like the natural pain killer we also produce, many things that effect our well being can make people sick. Though you asked about coming out of the depression and what helped to re discover the lust in life, so I was posting too that kind of depression and how inspiration lays within ourselves too achieve coming out of the other side. Depression can knock us down quick as lightning and for some they can just get by and function too an extent, others can't function very well at all. As Peachy just pointed out, depression is treatable, and as well the get help as soon as possible is listed as part with treatment. So unless there is an actual fail with our organs, like cancer or diabetes/ disease. Then I don't see it as the same type of depression for the topic. As soon as I became aware that my friend hit bed with depression, I got there about ten hours later, took an hour too make arrangements for other matters at hand and talk too Tara of the reason for hitting the road. That friend had helped another friend once, and I made a promise I would care to that until the day he died. So it was not about banter for an afternoon, it was keeping my word. And I think that is what inspired him to get up, he did the rest. Our banter was of him telling me he had a disease, he was convinced, but he had trouble looking me in the eyes while telling me. And that is not so easy to explain.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I lust for life like crazy...sex or no sex!
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madotara69
12 years ago
Posts pop up while I write, two fingers and a thumb. I figured that most reading this topic, would be familiar that I have openly discussed and recently, that I was sexually abused and spent years in depression, petrified to walk in and sit down time after time in a court room, so I too know what it is like being depressed, I suffered with it big time and had treatment to chase out the demons, Hypnosis and self hypnosis, it changes how we can see inside our selves, even others. Good topic J man Peachy Amino acids, methionine, arganine, lysene. Foods with them are good for you Ketamine is a little like them. but dangerous too. There is an epidemic with depression on the way, as the kids are taking too much Extacy and it is exhausting that little organ that produces those chemicals that make us feel good. Too much of a good thing. Methionine is the natural love drug, arganine in cocoa, lysene something for tissue or muscle recovery. They are the three that turn into that good feeling we can have. (naturally) Some shit just numbs the brain as a band aid too. (more addictive than Herion) I did not intend on upsetting anyone, so I shall leave it at that, but I am on everyones side on this. Good luck try finding the way out, and let your friends in as often as you can. And love is a very good treatment too.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think it's up to us to find the heart of the matter... what we post in the forums surely never says it all and it is up to us to read between the lines. . Thanls for the tips on the foods. I will google galore. . And Love, is the best treatment, not the be all and end all but I wouldn't be without it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Bigocean72' Why was it canned ?? For becoming to dark !!!! That is the very attitude that must be squashed RHP editors ?! Listen up for this is why suicide in Australia is an epidemic !! It is swept under the carpet because people are to afraid to talk about such a taboo subject !!! Fuck fuck fuck speak out speak loud speak strong fellow men beautiful women of our country we are all in it together never never feel alone or embarrassed to cry or yell at the top of your lungs scream in pain let your tears flow and yell loud for help we australia are one together we will battle through the pain of love lost !! The pain of loneliness and heartache for it is heavy on our soul and can bring a strong man to his knees but never ever be afraid to cry or cry for help !!! We all need help every so often and so many live to help those who cry out never ever suffer in your own hidden sorrow for life will always give you so much so much to give even when you are down remember you will always go up and up and triumph again and love and live and enjoy everything life has to offer never give up on life LIFE AND LOVE WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON US XXXXXXXXX - Posted from rhpmobile Absolutely!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Of these three, none have a partner at present. One is estranged from her nuclear family, one is on shakey grounds with most of her family and the third, while on good terms with all his brothers and sisters, they, with one exception, are not geographically close to him. He lives with one of his sisters. She suffered severe brain injuries in a traffic accident and he is now her full time carer. His mother is in Syria and unable, in the present political climate, to return home and his father deserted the family many years ago and now only has sporadic contact. He is in his forties and has never had a serious, romantic relationship and has no children of his own.When people speak about coming through a depression with the help and love of their partner and children, it actually makes my friends feel worse. It's true, I think, that love is the key but that doesn't need to be a romantic love for a spouse. It does need to be a healthy love for themselves and a love of life, as exemplified by Quefenta, looking4company and ms_silk, to help them pull through. I hope messages like these reach them and inspire them.Even without the close family ties, they have the love, hopes and wishes of friends. Life is often unfair but it's still worth living. While there is life, there is hope and the potential to make dreams come true.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Qefenta2' Love snd connection Sometimes when you are in the slough of despond,the people around you feel helpless.....Mado connected with his friend through love.for many years this friend had cared about others,now MIT was their turn to care about him...it wasn't Mado's words it was his actions... Connecting to this man's spirit with his care... If only we all had a Mado in our livesxx Q I think we have to take individuals into account, and maybe give credit to Mado that he knew his friend well enough to deal with things the way he did. The moral of the story being that good friends can be the best medicine. . It would be a worthy mention to make sure everyone realises that this is not always going to work for the reasons LuckDragon has mentioned. . A good friend is always a boon though. Hugs
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madotara69
12 years ago
Miss Q is rubbing off on me, she is the google master, but if you begin with a search on Musashi, the health products, there is a product, it may be called CHEN or the latest re-name AROUSAL. Trusty ancient Chinese medicine. There should be some information about the amino acids and how they can work together. J man I understand that some with depression are alone from romantic love/ family and such, as you said it's a touchy subject as everyone that suffers a depression of all types is for different meanings, so it is not so easy speaking for the inspirational side of coming out of depression, while others are deep within it's grasp. I tried not too make it so much about the family and romantics, by speaking for care and friendship and there is also people suffering depression with family even the romantic bond. How can we speak for one when it may hurt another is bloody difficult, though speaking for it has got too be a good thing over all, I believe so any how. And yes there is some fantastic posts above, hope there is a lot more. This thread should be for a time of peace and understanding as difficult it be. There is a great movie for all too see, it's called "The Never Ending Story" everyone needs a luckdragon.
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madotara69
12 years ago
you did it again Peachy, stop showing off that you can type so bloody fast, I was getting too that.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I live a life of coincidences, the last few days have been full of them. . last night, I liked a post on fb that said, "One day someone is going to hug you so tight, that all your broken pieces fit back together" Anon . Then I received a message from the person who had posted it. Telling me how they had ODed recently and that the attending GP had told their family that, they were attention seeking and they should just ignore their parent, which is what they have done in the 4 months sinces. Further messaging revealed that when the patient spoke to the Dr about it, they denied saying it. So, it seems the family came up with that themselves. Trust me, if a person is attention seeking, ignoring them isn't going to help! . I have never met the person I was speaking to but I relate to their issues. I told them that it sounded like a very sad mix up to me, and that ignoring people in pain is never going to help. I told them they were welcome to chat to me anytime, I can't promise to say a lot in reply but I can listen. There were a couple of exchnages after that and I was left feeling that they were in a much better place than when I first came across their fb post. I was assured that they had a plan in place. . Caring, caring makes a big difference. xxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
I may type fast with the 5 fingers I use, but they still can't keep up with my brain and I have to keep going back over what I have already said to reconnect to what I was saying LOL!
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RHP User
12 years ago
We all have different experiences in life and how that manifests with depression, anxiety or any form of mental illness. It will take sometimes a different approach for all to become better, not cured but better. Just wanted to say that im listening to everyones stories and I know that we are all strong. How do I know that its because we are still here today to discuss it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I've lived a life where no one believed in me in any way for a long time, my family has done their best and that's gone some way. Today, I thank a friend who has stood by me, someone who believes in me, supports me, and doesn't tell me how I 'should' be doing things. I don't want to be babied. Thanks to certain RHPers as well just for being there. xxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
fb tells me... Cuddling literally kills depression, relieves anxiety and strengthens the immune system.<3
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have had suffered from depression, suicidal tendencies and anxiety from a very young age, fraught with abuse and neglect, later on turning to addictions. Just in the recent couple years i have actually sought help for all of it, even though it was hard to face the damage i was doing to myself but to the relationships around me. i had come to a point where it was pretty much do or die. what i have learned from the experience is get a GP/psychiatrist that are highly recommended and have a long term experience in the field. unfortunately my gp wasnt one, took a while to find the right meds in the right dose, 2ndly find a psychologist same deal, somebody that has an extensive knowledge and practice, which i just happen to come across from my best mate, and if anybody is in brisbane and would like a name and number pm me. he has been the best i have come across and there isn't too many of those in the mental health practice. even though there is some residual crap laying about in the system and does pop up now and then unintentionally, that was a great start to my journey. the last couple months i have gone off my meds cold turkey, was rough but well worth it, as i actually got to feel again and deal with issues that pop up, what i found to be a great help was, get away from negative people, or dramatic people, even though i am still around these types of people i have very little to do with them anymore little interaction as possible. exercise anywhere from 2-3 hours a day, thats jogging, walking, sometimes bicycling, and anywhere upto 1 hr of yoga. get back to nature. start to plan achievable goals, eating healthy, cut out refined sugars, limit or cut out your vices alcohol/smoking/drugs. what has been one of the most valuable experience is meeting some pretty amazing women on and outside of RHP, that actually helped me break me out of my shell, that really has renewed a lease of life within me. i know some of those things are not doable to some especially meds always consult a doc first.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Then woke up with tubes down my throat and had a pretty shit experience in general. I bled all over the bathroom and my bed when I was there. Then got pneumonia spent my birthday and Easter in hospital. I look back on it now I'm pretty sure I had depression during that time, I pretty much just sucked it up but probably should've got some help. Dunno why but I just wouldn't get help.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Simplelife123 and thats when u reach for help.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Most people that have known me years, or just meet me are shocked to discover that I have clinical depression. I have always been outgoing, the life-of-the-party type, so people can't make that gel with my condition. These are the facts: I was diagnosed in 2000, have been on anti-depressants ever since, the types and dosages change over time, but I will always be on them. I am very open about the fact I live with depression - please note I do not "suffer" depression... when properly managed it is like any other disease/illness. I refuse to be embarrassed or ashamed of depression...if I was diabetic and required insulin I wouldn't be ashamed, so why this? I know that my openness about my experience has helped about a dozen people, it has given them the courage to seek help, or even just talk about it, or aided family or friends of "sufferers", and helped them find help. There are people - generally older generation who still view depression as a "weakness" or a choice, and won't seek help, or will view people with it as "lesser".... my response to these people? And they are usually very vocal in their beliefs of just " pull yourself together" or "suck it up"....unless you've been touched by the black dog, either yourself, or family member or friend, you will never understand just how incapacitating and destructive it can be. Personally, I view it as my mission to dispel any "stigma" associated with depression, if some asshat has a problem with that...no skin off my nose...but if I help just one more person....as I'm certain I will, I'll have achieved my goal...cheers and thanks for reading!
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RHP User
12 years ago
-Got married lol -Had kids -Financial issues had me working 7 days a week. -My wife became an alcoholic. Drinking with the kids in the car, thankfully she's dealt with that. -My oldest brother started sleeping with bosses wife. In return faced death threats, mutilated rabbits on our front door. -I was suffering undiagnosed sleep apnea so was constantly tired. Compounded by my very cerebral nature to constantly try and work out a better way. Compounded again by accusations of affairs, and loving the truck more than my kids lol -got depressed, was suicidal, and kept battling on trying to stay focused on there being an end. 3 years later, she left. Pulled all the stops out including AVO applications after baiting a vitriolic response. Mother in law got involved and was telling me our children weren't my issue anymore and that I should just leave. Fuck I must have been stupid cos I stuck about lol. I've no fixed address. I live in a truck, and out of an overnight bag. My idea of a social life has been RHP. Or sitting at a depot with only a tv for company...lol doesn't help eh?? Ok now for the solution. I woke up. Realised that the job I was doing wasn't getting me anywhere. So I sat down, and wrote what I needed to achieve in order to become stable in my own head. When I say needed to achieve, we're talking simplistic things like a place to call my own. I also had to acknowledge what I had done wrong in my decision making that landed me in the situation I was in. How did I contribute?? I also then had to acknowledge what I DIDN'T do that had contributed to my situation. Once you have these two lists of what you can and CAN'T control through a conscious decision or action, then you can distinguish what shit is ok to hang onto and what isn't. Concentrate only on what YOU NEED to do, and not what you WANT to do to become stable. Asking yourself this "is it really depression, or am I just surrounded by arseholes??" And be prepared to CUT people, things, and loyalties from your current life if they are not contributing to your stability. One big thing for me was cutting my parents out of my life. Yep they're my parents, but they were creating more dramas from their meddling (good intentions of course) ways than what it was easing. So, yes, ya gotta harden the fuck up a bit too. Once you start stripping people, and the things that cause drama from your life, you soon get back on your feet and feel just how liberating and empowering it is leaving the shit behind. - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
12 years ago
J man, you mentioned "us" ?
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Playful_days4you
12 years ago
My story wow never knew how many where like myself, different stories but all spiraled down to the bottom. I was even called an attention seeker at one point in my journey. I guess for me it started when I was very young and spoke about that already in an other forum post. But for me the last ten years or so have been my most difficult. In 2004, I was diagnose with cancer, although I already knew this could be a possibility for me due to family history of it, it still sent me in my spiraling After chemo.The lost of all my hair and constant feeling sick I totally lost the plot one would say but it wasn't what really made me loose it, It was when my eldest boy died of an overdose of a party Drug (ecstasy). Anyway I blame myself and the hole self pity crap that went along with it. Did I realize then I was in a bad mental health state, NO, I went on my self destruct mode Drinking heavily and drugs of all sorts, so this is for the ones who called me a druggy and so on attention seeker without knowing me and facts "yes I'm still somewhat bitter about you people". So I went on like this for quite a few years of Binging from being in and out remission (cancer) A good friend and close friend was seeing something maybe wasn't quite rite with me. He said you must be having a midlife crises. What the! was that it. I think your rite it must be so I just bought a new motorbike. I been riding bikes all my life on and off so ya why change my habits now it's only a midlife thing. Six months after getting my pride and joy I got t-Boned and my left foot remained in the persons bumper as I flew over the car was i drunk or stoned ,no it was one of the few times I've been sober. But this only added fuel to the fire because I lost my leg from it, but it also woke me up Because when these things happen the hospital automatically send a therapist to you and this is when I discovered the state I was in. It's been almost three years now but I am completely clean and only have a beer on occasions I turned my life around and I am stating to enjoy it. Al-tho I am still doing therapy and still find myself on this site because i like reading some forum and I like reading some of peoples profile and think ya rite make me laugh, but this was something I wasn't able to do a few years back. I thank the people who stood by me and I lost many friends over my time binging, but I want to say is that i don't want peoples pity my last ten years have been very hard but I din't even know myself what was happening to me so for people out there that have someone they know acting out of sorts and this will be hard for anyone to pick but signs will be there help them out. Anyway my tears are starting so that's enough from me and as I said I finally turned my life around and happiness is slowly coming back Thank you for reading my journey , this was very hard for me to tell all but an other good part of forum that I enjoyed and i guess will help in my journey to recovery and happiness
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madotara69
12 years ago
You are very good at writing, maybe you don't know that either, you have a bit of a gift out of all that it's called auto writing, writing from your concious, there is a fantastic writing application called "Ulysses" it costs about forty dollars, though you can download a demonstration version for free, It might just be something you really enjoy. Mado Mado Tara xx
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Playful_days4you
12 years ago
Thank you I don't think of myself as a good writer or having a gift and honestly I don't know what you mean by auto writing I barely graduated high-school and have great trouble reading and writing although I enjoy reading and it can take me several hours just to read few pages. anyway that's an other topic in an other forum posted By ( Qefenta2: A question for the grammar natzis) Back to this topic. Depression is is a major problem both for the youth and adults alike and extremely hard to pick up in any case but there is a way out. All I have to say now is I did but with help of an other and thats the key you cant do it alone so yes a good Doctor and Therapist (psychologist/psychiatrist) and friends or support group and Medications if required will be the best help for anyone to recover
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'Unchained' Thank you I don't think of myself as a good writer or having a gift and honestly I don't know what you mean by auto writing I barely graduated high-school and have great trouble reading and writing although I enjoy reading and it can take me several hours just to read few pages. Though when you write and if it brings a tear too another's eye, then that is good writing, it's not something we learn it's something you do. Nothing to how difficult it is, this is on topic, because your story means something and you have told it very well indeed.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I feel quit sad.....and lucky I have such a fighting spirit. I thank who ever looked after me from HEAVEN maybe, to make me soo strong And I mean what I said before I THANK THE LITTLE BOOKS ......FOOT ROD FLATS for helping me through my darkest SADNESS..... Oh God it must be hard for people with depression, and people like me have no fucking idea.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Music is so influential on the brain that the type you listen to actually has the ability to change the way you think and look at the world.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes that is true,and some people believe that Mozart had Tourettes ,that he was writing for himself.....it's all about the Alpha state...it makes sense when you think about it,I don't like Mahler,he is dark and depressing,but Vivaldi,.Peachy may your world be full of magical music every day xx Q
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RHP User
12 years ago
foods high in Vit B6 & B12, folate and Omega 3, 6, 9's. I also take daily supplements of B group vitamins, Magnesium, Vit C, St Johns Wart and fish oil - all found to assist with the symptoms of depression.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have suffered episodes of depression since my teens off and on. Doctors say its situational. So I spent years on the move. Change is as good as a holiday for me. But I have learnt my depression stems from anger and frustration. Running doesn't help anymore. So I faced the reality I am allowed to feel anger without guilt I am allowed to say I am hurt and not bottle it up. In my family we have had numerous suicides because the sadness has been to much for them.but I am the oldest of the generation and I have told the others no matter how bad things get we are yo keep going because once that door opens it can't be closed . So all of us keep going to keep more sorrow from our family. We will be stronger then our fathers. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
The ones of us that have struggled the most are now the ones living the most.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Lots of stories particularly Ms Silk and Sir Stir struck a chord with me. Congrats on seeing the positive side of your situations.... I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ( PTSD), anxiety and depression, a hangover from a past career that I left 7 years ago however it wasn't until a close former work colleague committed suicide last year that I sought help and got formally diagnosed - Turns out the Doc reckons I've probably had it since 2001.... I wanted to avoid medication so the Doc recommended "Binaural Beats" as a simple form of meditation (there are free apps on Google play and Itunes but note it is critical that you use stereo headphones), this has been effective combined with myself noting 3 positive things I see each day... For those who think they may have PTSD there is a free app called "PTSD Coach" developed for Australian Returned Service personnel to monitor and provide assistance however it is also applicable to members of Emergency Services who come across trauma everyday - For me this app made me finally realise that I have medical issue and gave me the drive to seek help, I was not going mad after all.... I still need to push myself to go out in public places more but I'm much more relaxed in doing so now... :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Ms_silk' The ones of us that have struggled the most are now the ones living the most.
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RHP User
12 years ago
And I've got the scars on my arms to show for it. But now even with problems that would have sent me over the edge back then (between jobs and bills up to here) I'm coping really well. I've had a lot of help to get where I am but theres no way I'm ever going back.
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madotara69
12 years ago
Our very first language, it has been used for thousands of years, history can show that harmonics have been emphasised, amplified, by way of caves, chambers, opera house,headphones etc, etc. Listen too it a little over 60 decibels and it can and will take one into trance state, very peaceful and dynamic feelings through music can bring joy too our spirit and soul. Thinking Mozart, Allen Parsons even Pink Floyd understood music and the gaps between it, the empty space is as important as the note it's self, silence is so important in music too. Even Meatloaf and Steinman understood it well. (Opera singers never the less)
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madotara69
12 years ago
Understand it well.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well done for seeking help and giving it a go without meds. As with what I've seen with an ex army friend of mine. The drugs illegal or medication is not always the best way to go, as it can just make the symptoms worse. I also am ex defence but not put in any situation that you must have obviously been through. I hope there is more in the future for our soldiers that come home with events that have an eternal effect on there lives. Governments have had many years to provide this but unfortunately I think its still lacking in a major way. Quoting 'mctag9'Lots of stories particularly Ms Silk and Sir Stir struck a chord with me. Congrats on seeing the positive side of your situations.... I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ( PTSD), anxiety and depression, a hangover from a past career that I left 7 years ago however it wasn't until a close former work colleague committed suicide last year that I sought help and got formally diagnosed - Turns out the Doc reckons I've probably had it since 2001.... I wanted to avoid medication so the Doc recommended "Binaural Beats" as a simple form of meditation (there are free apps on Google play and Itunes but note it is critical that you use stereo headphones), this has been effective combined with myself noting 3 positive things I see each day... For those who think they may have PTSD there is a free app called "PTSD Coach" developed for Australian Returned Service personnel to monitor and provide assistance however it is also applicable to members of Emergency Services who come across trauma everyday - For me this app made me finally realise that I have medical issue and gave me the drive to seek help, I was not going mad after all.... I still need to push myself to go out in public places more but I'm much more relaxed in doing so now... :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'MrsPeachyPear' More power to the poeple who are able to work through their shit, or somehow deny it... I managed to deny it till I was 30 but when I crashed, there was no more denying it. I can't go back and as I age, I wouldn't want to. But... . I know perfectly well there are things (in my case I call them family, my hubby and children) worth living for. I've been doing it for 50 years all the while putting up with people who think they can somehow help me with their gratuitous advice. Those people who tell me to get over it, that it's not that bad, that I worry too much. Lord, and I move around through the world and wonder at how much poeple don't care, don't want to know, want to hide in their safe little worlds and keep the truth away from the door. I stood holding a banner out the front of the building where the first day of the Royal Commsion into 'Institutional Responses to Sexual Abuse of Children in care' was being held yesterday. I was in the city and the number of people who bustled past trying desparately to avoid us was laughable. Don't look, you might have to give a shit. Thank God for the few who looked us in the eyes and saw us as people, not just a detriment to getting on with ther day!!! . I'd rather be me with all my problems that seem to be so much more for disturbing for other people than for me. freezing my bum off. I think its hard for people as they think its depression is contagious. the best advice to anyone is to STOP reading the news paper, Stop watching the news and only watch comedy for a while. your mind cant tell time, it thinks what you see is actually happening to you right now, so what you see what you feel is a reality to the brain so stop watching toxic stuff
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RHP User
12 years ago
Living under the shadow of suicide gives me the drive to battle through. I'd hate to put my nearest & dearest through that kind of grief.Lust for life indeed!
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RHP User
12 years ago
And weren't we amazing! Hard arses we were! LOL! It was a lot better when I went in on Friday I have to say. I think more people had gotten used to the sight of people being there, and it was less threatening. People were praising us for what we were doing, looking us in the eyes, reaching out for the pamphlets. Oh yes... and it wasn't RAINING!!! . We watch a lot of comedy here and as you know laugh a lot as we get about Tuscan. Laughter really is the best medicine! . Thanks for the last sentence in particular. . The body and mind is a fascinating thing.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I love 'to chant and listen to chanting....it certainly puts me in an altered state...my favourite chants are praises to Tara,a Tibetan Goddess........ In his documentary about India,Michael Palin talks about a chant that they discovered was so ancient it was pre language....actually birdsong...I love listening to birdsong......and for me silence is also important,the mind is then free to wander.....I understand that this wouldn't work for everyone,but it works for me xx Q
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RHP User
12 years ago
I can't imagine what a difficult thing it must be to do...revisiting hurt and pain hugs xx Q
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RHP User
12 years ago
What I have experienced is nothing compared to what you have both experienced on a personal level..... Just to be clear Ms Silk although I did time in the ADF I did not do any overseas service or active service - My PTSD is mostly related to the continual exposure and dealing with the tragedy of others that a member of the emergency services see everyday as well as some close call/lucky escape experiences in the process.... Whereas in your cases you were innocent victims through no fault of your own.... I hope you are both travelling well now. :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
They don't go unnoticed and are very much appreciated as is yours Mctag and the message I received too. Thanks to you all! The well wishes in general on this thread are a lovely sight to see! . I wanted to say that experiences and how we react to them are individual though. Please don't compare yours to others any of you. We all cope differently, that's for sure. Peachy
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RHP User
12 years ago
Two brothers have found each other in the public gallery at this week's RC hearings. . How awesome is that?!!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Joe Cocker - You Can Leave Your Hat On. . 9 1/2 Weeks clip. . Damn
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RHP User
12 years ago
Breathe in deep, we forget to breathe deeply when we're stressed. Stop and breathe.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Favorite tunes keep you calmListening to their favorite music lowered anxiety among ICU patients by about one third, according to an Ohio State University study. Not just any tunes—it had to be familiar and comforting pieces, according to researchers..Mood music makes you eat lessWhen Hardee’s gave one of its restaurants a fine-dining makeover—including soft lighting and jazz—diners ate about 18 percent less and reported enjoying their food more, according to a Cornell study in the journalPsychological Reports.. Inspiring instrumentals improve your mental focusUplifting concertos from Vivaldi’sThe Four Seasonscan boost mental alertness, according to research from Northumbria University in the United Kingdom. When young adults were given a task that required intense concentration, they did better while listening to the bright “Spring” concerto versus the slower and more somber “Autumn” one.. Good music soothes and relaxes your blood vesselsListening to their favorite music for 30 minutes a day improved blood vessel health in heart disease patients, Dutch researchers reported at the 2013 European Society of Cardiology Congress. Patients who cued up tunes while they exercised experienced the greatest cardiovascular benefits. Hearing music increased production of nitric oxide, a gas that helps dilate blood vessels, keeping them healthy and flexible.. Group singing makes you happyBritish researchers recently surveyed 375 people who sang in a choir, sang alone, or played on a sports team. All the activities contributed to greater emotional well-being, but people in choirs reported feeling happier than those who belted out tunes solo. Chorus members also rated their groups as more meaningful social experiences than athletes did with their sports teams. The physical act of synchrony—acting in time with others—or choral singing could promote feelings of unity.. Playing an instrument may protect brain sharpness later in lifeThe more years middle-aged and older adults spent playing musical instruments as children, the faster their brains responded to speech sounds during an experiment, according to a study in theJournal of Neuroscience. A slower response could be indicative of how ably adults interpret speech. “Being a millisecond faster may not seem like much, but the brain is very sensitive to timing. A millisecond compounded over millions of neurons can make a real difference in the lives of older adults,” Michael Kilgard, a University of Texas at Dallas brain researcher who was not involved in the study, commented in a press release.. Music classes make kids more cooperativePreschoolers who sang and played instruments as a group were a whopping 30 times more likely to help others in subsequent tasks that measured their helpfulness and problem-solving abilities, compared with a control group of kids who listened to a story, British researchers reported in 2013.. A mellow playlist may ease road rageFeel an angry outburst coming on after a driver cuts you off, or as traffic starts to build? A quick switch to mellow music helped drivers calm down and make fewer mistakes during an experiment in a simulator, according to research published in 2013 in the journalErgonomics..Music therapy may help teens cope with cancerTeenagers undergoing cancer treatment who joined a music therapy program in the hospital showed improved coping skills and more resilience when compared to a control group of patients who received audio books. The patients, who were undergoing stem cell transplants, worked with music therapists to write song lyrics and produce videos. “Making music videos allows these patients to project their feelings through another outlet,” Shawna Grissom, director of child life at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, toldHealthDay. “It gives them a sense of control, a medium in which they can express themselves.”
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RHP User
12 years ago
I posted it with Q in mind after her very early comment, about music and how it effects the brainwaves, on this thread. I've always thought music was fantastic in so many ways, magic even. ;-) I'm rapt to hear what a good effect it's had for you! Could you please send a hi to Q for me, and wish her well. It makes me sad that she leaves in the middle of my threads so often. I am glad she takes the time to let us know what's going on so we know not to worry too much about her. Feeling blue Peachy...
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RHP User
12 years ago
And the write up is from the 'Reader's Digest', I've loved my RD for as close to as long as I've loved my music.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I just blocked my profile in general, it's easier than deleting the whole thing on the spur of the moment, and then having to ask for it to be reinstated. I've unlocked it again now. My block list doesn't usually get a lot of use, it's pretty useless if you're in the forums, so I save it for special occasions lol. Hehe and I don't like to waste it on people who have been blocked left, right and centre already. Q does have regular time outs, I miss her presence in the forums right now though. There's a thread in Hot Topics dedicated to Q, started by Mado I think? You could search it out or yes, start one of your own, or haha the song sounds fun, it's nice to think she would be lurking... . And thank you getting in contact for me, I very much appreciate it! Keep having fun. Peachy xxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think I'll stop talking to people, they seem to keep disappearing. Sigh... I'm feeling the urge right now. Don't think I'd be missed much. I'm not a messaging type girl these days, so I'll just wish you well here, I'll miss your posts.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'MrsPeachyFool' I just blocked my profile in general, it's easier than deleting the whole thing on the spur of the moment, and then having to ask for it to be reinstated. I've unlocked it again now. My block list doesn't usually get a lot of use, it's pretty useless if you're in the forums, so I save it for special occasions lol. Hehe and I don't like to waste it on people who have been blocked left, right and centre already. Q does have regular time outs, I miss her presence in the forums right now though. There's a thread in Hot Topics dedicated to Q, started by Mado I think? You could search it out or yes, start one of your own, or haha the song sounds fun, it's nice to think she would be lurking... . And thank you getting in contact for me, I very much appreciate it! Keep having fun. Peachy xxx Can you do this as I might like to whilst I am away just eassier I will have enough on my plate Many many plates of amazing food. I think I will get gastric banding when I return
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's very handy. If you go to this page . http://www.redhotpie.com.au/MemberProfile/ProfileSetting.aspx . Under 'Visibility & Privacy Settings', tick the box next to 'I want my profile visible for others to find'. Then 'apply changes' at the bottom of the page.
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RHP User
12 years ago
and have a great time!!!
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