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RHP

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M51 F47

Knocking One Out

October 06 2009

Okay so we all have been through the wringer these past few days, emotions have been getting high and things have been said to upset the usual suspects.  Plus we went all lovey dovey and someone started talking about our feelings.... good lord.  So we need to make sure we are proper swingy types.   So I wanted to lighten the tone and talk about the serious issue of knocking one out, having a wank.  Sal and I were watching a great UK show last night and this scene had us falling about.   It involves a newly married couple (Gavin and Stacey) Gavin's friend Smithy and his co-worker revealing out of the blue mid-conversation that Smithy 'is missing his girlfriend, feeling the pinch and knocked out quite a few times last night' Smithy is embarrassed and denies it infront of Stacey. Gavin then adds "I got a text from him saying he'd knocked out four in one hour." Smithy is mortified, "Stacey this is not a thing for a lady to hear." She then says 'Not a problem Smithy, I'm at home alone all day it just something to fill the time, I had three the other day just watching Treasure in the Attic, I think its well lush." Of course leaving the boys speechless.   That's not a direct quote cause I can't find the episode - So the question is this, When was your first time, what were you doings? DId you discover it yourself or someone told you, what's the most you've knocked out in the shortest amount of time and what's you're average daily output.   And I'm thinking you ladies are just as bad as us guys.   My first time - Watching Quincy in the early 80's, so I was about 10. A girl got in the hottub in her bikini on the TV and i felt a tingle and humped my mattress. I had no idea what i had done, and thought that I was the only person in the world that did it.!!! Average per day - well as Sal and I are home together i rarly get my 'alone time' as she milks me like a cow !!! but if I was alone ... and bored then perhaps three... but usually i try and extend the time with myself for as long as possible. So it could be one ... but just a lonnnnng one.   Bring it on people, shower me with you love juice stories.   Andy

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    My mate stole a Penthouse mag or something.. we were ten and there we were hiding down the river bank with my hand down my shorts... his hand down his... and we wanked off to those big bushy 1970's pussy shots together.... lolz.. my first circle jerk.   My house has been busy lately.. and there's no "me time".. you know?  Especially since my birthday .. I mean, I got an ice fleshlight... but I've only used it 5 or six times in the last week... I'm looking at it now in my bottom drawer with lusty thoughts... but my son is using the computer the other side of my desk... there's just no "me time" any more... school holidays. Don't you hate that!   Plus it has a vibrating bullet that I can stick down the opposite end of it... and with each deep thrust, latex pussy pressed firmly against my ballsack, I feel a jolt from the bullet.. lolz... brilliant what some wankers think of.... lolz....   Do you ever save it up for a big night Andy?..... you know.. so you gush like a donkey! I love building up a backload by repeated wanking to the point of ejaculation.. then backing off before it happens.... a couple of days of that before a big Friday night... and sometimes it feels like I should carry a mop and bucket.... lolz.. very empowering.. and the surprised face of the recipient as I blow squirt after squirt on her/his breasts/chest... hehe... Gotta love a good backload blow, eh... and their faces whihc say.. "where did all that come from?".. hehe.   Hugs Gazza

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    i'll be the first female to admit it. its so much easier to do to yourself.i dont remember when i havent, i know i was pretty young when i started, um, flicking the bean, although that didnt literately start until i found out what it was.i only told my hubby within the last 2 years i even do it, lol. i was pretty embarrassed.now if he is away i have plenty of toys to play with.hehehehehei can go 3 or 4 times if i want but it only takes a couple of minutes to do myself. unless i hold it and build it like gaz said but that only lasts about 5 minutes before relief is necessary.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    I think I have already answered a forum similar to this?? Gaz I am sure you have told that strory before??   Well I was not going to respond  to this thread of Andy's but seeing as he is downstairs "writing" and I am upstairs trying to avoid the dishes, I decided to knock one out myself, thus the inspiration to post to this forum :P   My earliest memory of playing with myself would be from about the age of 11? I have a vivid memory of playing Barbies....then one thing led to another.....that blonde busty minx!   I do remember playing a little bit of Doctors and Nurses with a female friend when we were about 8 or 9 too.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    Does anyone remember the Batman and Wonder Woman TV series' or comics as well? Chock full of kinky bondage, fetish, torture and submission fantasy...   My first "twinges" came from watching Batman on TV, I was probably around 10...Batman and Robin were constantly being tied up in dungeons all over Gotham City LOL.... and later, in the privacy of my own room, I learnt about my body while fantasizing about being tied up by an evil villain and rescued at the last minute by Batman... sigh... innocent memories of a simpler time :P LOL    The dark, gothic world of Batman helped to develop my adult sexual tastes but, come on, I'm surprised that any of us ended up "normal" LOL   I mean, take a look at a favourite few:   Nancy Drew – Bondage - Always getting tied up by the bad guy Emma Peel – Leather gear - Leather and bondage fetishes Catwoman - Dominatrix - weapon of choice: a cat-o-nine-tails whip Wonder Woman – Bondage and Submission - She wears her iron bracelets of submission and the only way she can lose her power is to have her hands bound by a man, she ties people up with her lasso!! The Invisible Woman’s alter ego? Malice....an exotic leather clad dominatrix Don't forget Electra too, our sexy ninja warrior, and a whole host of others..... :P

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    I was 12 I found a sex book in my parents room so i read it and was reading about masturbation so i went to the bathroom and tried it out and wow it worked now I go about 4 times a day once before work or I am angry all day then 3-4 after work while on here and you porn hahahaha

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    I was about 10 as well.....and im not sure which came first technically that is, so I will give both of them.. 1. around 9 or 10 i got seriously into tree climbing for some reason.. and i mean really got into it.... no tree was too tall for me to climb and it was always the challenge of getting the highest on the smallest, yet just strong enough branch.....anyway.... One time that i particularly remember, i had it in my mind to tackle this one particular tree which has so far evaded my attempts to climb onto the lowest branches. it was sometime just after the summer holidays and i had grown a bit in height. I reckoned it was time again to mount this tree. So one sunday evening around dusk, i went outside on a mission to get this tree. Mum was inside cooking dinner and the rest of the family were watching New Faces or something equally naff. I reached up and could just reach the branch...with all my muscles i got a tight hold and some how hauled the rest of my body onto the big branch. I couldn't believe that i had finally done it. Now to the next level - and this was going 2b tricky. With my feet firmly secured, i rasied one leg up onto the next branch and heaved myself up with my arms. Got it... Then supporting my bodyweight i brough up the rest of my body. As i did this, the front of my body pressed against the wide trunk - hard. The full weight of my body pressed my penis to the tree and then as i raised myself up i felt a current stirring in my loins as my pants scraped against the bark of the trunk. "MMMMMMM", stirred my mind, acknowledging this new feeling and rapidly sending the message that it was a welcome sensation. I decided to try the next branch. Now things in the tree had changed somewhat - the branches were getting closer together but ignoring this i made sure that this stage would be a replica of the last. With a bit of an effort.....one foot up.... arms ready......and go. OOOHHH....there it is again. I decided to explore this feeling somemore. Holding my body in limbo between the branches, i pressed a bit harder... the feeling got stronger...and a new feeling had started. Ever so minutely, my penis felt a bit different... sort of tingly but kinda spongy as well. I pressed even harder. Teen without knowing why, my body started to move. A little at first, then more and more. mmmmmmmm, tree climbing has just got better. it must have been about ten minutes of gentle to medium strength rubbing and then......... Chika chika FUCKING BOOOOOOMMMMMMMM.... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!! WTF was that. Then i lost the urge to rub anymore, and continued on my mission, knowing already that i had conquered this tree. I didnt know what had happened but i knew i liked it - a lot.!!!! i stayed a long time in that tree, that night and for a long time after, this was my number 1 tree!!!. Oh and i did a lot of tree climbing at night after that too. .........

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    I was about 10 as well.....and im not sure which came first technically that is, so I will give both of them.. 1. around 9 or 10 i got seriously into tree climbing for some reason.. and i mean really got into it.... no tree was too tall for me to climb and it was always the challenge of getting the highest on the smallest, yet just strong enough branch.....anyway.... One time that i particularly remember, i had it in my mind to tackle this one particular tree which has so far evaded my attempts to climb onto the lowest branches. it was sometime just after the summer holidays and i had grown a bit in height. I reckoned it was time again to mount this tree. So one sunday evening around dusk, i went outside on a mission to get this tree. Mum was inside cooking dinner and the rest of the family were watching New Faces or something equally naff. I reached up and could just reach the branch...with all my muscles i got a tight hold and some how hauled the rest of my body onto the big branch. I couldn't believe that i had finally done it. Now to the next level - and this was going 2b tricky. With my feet firmly secured, i rasied one leg up onto the next branch and heaved myself up with my arms. Got it... Then supporting my bodyweight i brough up the rest of my body. As i did this, the front of my body pressed against the wide trunk - hard. The full weight of my body pressed my penis to the tree and then as i raised myself up i felt a current stirring in my loins as my pants scraped against the bark of the trunk. "MMMMMMM", stirred my mind, acknowledging this new feeling and rapidly sending the message that it was a welcome sensation. I decided to try the next branch. Now things in the tree had changed somewhat - the branches were getting closer together but ignoring this i made sure that this stage would be a replica of the last. With a bit of an effort.....one foot up.... arms ready......and go. OOOHHH....there it is again. I decided to explore this feeling somemore. Holding my body in limbo between the branches, i pressed a bit harder... the feeling got stronger...and a new feeling had started. Ever so minutely, my penis felt a bit different... sort of tingly but kinda spongy as well. I pressed even harder. Teen without knowing why, my body started to move. A little at first, then more and more. mmmmmmmm, tree climbing has just got better. it must have been about ten minutes of gentle to medium strength rubbing and then......... Chika chika FUCKING BOOOOOOMMMMMMMM.... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!! WTF was that. Then i lost the urge to rub anymore, and continued on my mission, knowing already that i had conquered this tree. I didnt know what had happened but i knew i liked it - a lot.!!!! i stayed a long time in that tree, that night and for a long time after, this was my number 1 tree!!!. Oh and i did a lot of tree climbing at night after that too. .........

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    lmfao 2B. Dave wanted to be the best husband in the world so Dad told him to practice rooting... so Dave went out to the old gum tree every day and fucked a particular notch hole.  On the night of the wedding, Dad heard this almighty scream from the newlyweds bedroom He races in to see Dave poking Edith in the fanny with a broom handle.. "what the heck are you doing Dave?" he asks.... Dave replies  "I'm just making sure there are no goannas in this one, dad"

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    For a start Sophie, referencing Emma Peel is the hottest thing I've read since I"ve been here.  The Avengers was such a funky show and I think you and my Dad are the only people have mentioned that (Oh and Daniel Radcliff asked Diana Rigg in an episode of Extras if she still had the cat suit?)   Also my max output for a single day was when i was around 15 and I knocked out about 13.   Here's another one, have you ever been busted?  I watch a porno in my room once at about 14 again and my TV was in a shelf in my wardrobe, the sound was down and suddenly mum opened my bedroom door. From where she was she could not see the TV and I didn't have the remote in reach.  Luckily she never came into the room!!! Not technicaly caught out but very close!   Plus some other moments, but not really news worthy.   A   Love the wood story, OH i asked Sal and she didn't do anything to Barbie!!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    Gavin and Stacey is a fucking great show!that's all

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    2. The other time, and this is why im note sure which came first, was a little bit of a different experience. MY mum and dad lived on reasonably big block of land and it was quite a slopey back yard. Well anyway us 3 kids were given some jobs to do for our pocket money. I was the youngest, but most athletic, my job was to cut the grass and i'd been cutting that grass for at least a year or so. Anyway, sometimes the slope of the yard meant that i had to push extra hard to get the mower up the hill and there were some tight spots too, which meant tipping the mower onto its rear wheels to turn it around. When got a bit tuckered out id stop to take a breather and hold the mower in place resting agisnt my body. On this occasion the handle bar was against my crotch and because it was on high revs, the handle bar was vibrating into my little cock. MMMmmmmmm mmmmmm. I pressed my groin into the bar and boy it felt fantastic. I looked around t see where mum and dad were. They were occupied so i increased the revs of the mower by pushing the lever to the max. woooooooo. Pressing ever harder and moving my hips to spread the vibrations all over my sensitive new friend. ooohhh just there. I locked my muscles and did all i could to make sure that i move my member from this vibrating nirvana. Pressing harder to intensify the pleasure i closed my eyes and rode an amazing roller coaster in my mind. the moment passed with intense pleasure, i opened my eyes and adjusted to the sunlight. at the same time as my focus retuned, i could see my mother just watching me for the other side of the garden. I looked the mower and continued in my pushing. I didnt complain as much about doing the mowing after that - but i always found a secluded spot to take my breathers. lol my first vibrator at 10 - and i was one happy customer. After that the world was a different place - everything was a potential pleasure machine. i discovered the water outlet jet on the pool; mum an dads "personal massager" (which had some very interesting attachments btw ) and eventually i even discovered my hand and that's when i started actually cumming. there was also the myer book dept in glenelg shopping centre, the porn stand at the newsagents and when girls finally clicked into the equation as well. lol - i will pare you all and save them for later pmsl. All true btw. Not wanting to misdirect Andys original post - but the question i want to ask is .... When was the first time you saw the other genders bits in the flesh.... and it excited you somehow? If you tell me yours - i'll tell you mine..... 2b :) (Ps - i have tried to format this entry better - sorry if it doesnt work... i know its ugly... but im trying to correct it - if u have any suggestions please msg me, tell me in chat or set up a new post and i will repsond there..... please not in this post tho... otherwise... please dont tell me :) lol

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    whhopppse :) lol

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    Is that an epsiode of Dan an Dave????? lol

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    I aim to please ;-)   Yep, got caught out by my mother when I was 11. It's the first and last time I've ever gotten caught out doing something "naughty".... I'm a fast learner LOL   Scene Sophie in her room with her 19 year old cousin's japanese manga comic. Mum opens the door. "Sophie, what are you doing?" "umm...err...ummm I was just...." "It's ok... I can see what you're doing"  Mum shuts door and leaves. Sophie is mortified for life.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    About 14 or so... went into newsagents in a country town we were passing through on our way to somewhere... car journey pitstop.... on my way to the motorbike and tattoo magazine section.... "mens Interestss" section.... bravely opened a penthouse or playboy and just froze... not in fear but wonderment... all of a sudden the mag is shaking and i realise someone is there... shit!!!! ... some grumpy old guy.... pulls the mag out of my hands - grumbles loudly .... you shouldnt have been looking at that. now get on.." ..... grumpy old men lol. Embarrassed but glad. I'm not so smart as others.....:P - there were other close shaves too but no actuals catches i dont think. 2b :) What was the first porn you saw?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    16 years ago

    one of my earliest memories was when I was around 3 years old, and the neighbourhood boy who was the same age as I was, were showing each other our genitals and he touched me, just a quick touch, but it felt all tingly and great. I always knew about sex, living in a 3rd world country, where everyone slept in the same room, as many as 4 families, you get exposed to a lot of things, and my parents were always open to my questions whenever I saw something I was curious about. They never made up things ie storks and cabbage patches. I feel blessed to have such liberal parents.   I've always touched myself from as early as I can remember, I think from that moment when that boy touched me, but I never achieved orgasm till got the help of a vibrator when I was twenty.   these days I rarely ever masturbate, and if I do, it's always hormonal, just that week before my period. Or during the summer when I'm bored and I don't have dance.

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