Hard basket

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  If you don’t mind opinion of the male half... Ms Maenad is asleep soI’ll throw in my two cents since almost every woman I have known struggled with this; Most things from birth control pills to anti-depressants seems to have negative effect on female sexuality. Add in smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, unchecked diet.. That’s the physical aspect of it that can be improved gradually as healthier choices are introduced to lifestyle. Then there is the mental side; Mind seems to be the actual battle ground for the climax; overstressed, overtired, overworked mind will lose clarity and senses, it wreaks havoc on the body too. So relaxing, practicing mindfulness, getting a good sleep and such works wonders. Of course, there is the population that does all these right but still struggles. I can usually make my other half achice orgasm relatively easy. You don’t really need a partner for this but it helps if someone is setting the scene or willing to do work for you. I usually bath my lover, using soaps that has nice but light scent, and I let my hands go over her slowly, so they trigger a process of sensual initiation. You can do this yourself by diverting your mind to think positively and adoring your body, enjoying your femininity for what it is, feeling your curves and going over your erogenous zones twice and slower then rest of your body. Appreciate your “self” as you do this, be your own lover, that’s what I whisper to my girl. “Love yourself so you can take in my love for you deeper.” When you learn to love yourself more, your senses will be open to you more. Then close all the doors and windows, minimize exposure to noise pollution. You can play different kinds of music to help your mind tap into more sensual stages if you wish. I switch between Enigma and Zen music, ambient and such. Then lay in bed and just caress yourself without worrying about the aftermath or reaching to certain stage of pleasure. You can use oil if you wish. I use oil to massage my lover after bath, but not always, sometimes she is more responsive immediately. Once your senses are awake and your breathing has changed, you can focus between your legs; thighs, don’t go further yet. Then let your mind wander and imagine your deepest and darkest fantasies that you don’t dare tell anyone. Now, thinking is not a crime, so let your mind go wild. Whatever turns you on. I usually whisper things to my lover as I let my fingertips wander on her thighs like feathers, you can whisper things to yourself, effect is just the same. Just make sure you are alone at home or no one walks in on you : ) Eventually, you’ll be breathing faster. Close in on your clit but be gentle, soft. You don’t want to use all your weapons at once or you’ll get frustrated if this doesn’t work. Once you are wet enough, you can introduce some back up by using a vibrator gently, press against the roof of your inner vagina and start thrusting in and out. Do not turn on the vibrator yet though. The spot you want to rub against is no larger than almond and feels more rugged than rest of your inner surface. Use your other hands’ fingers to keep playing with your clit, as the vibrator keeps thrusting in and out, switch it on. You should be feeling fair amount of pleasure now. I do all this with the fingers of both my hands, while I also lick and suck the clit but again, if you are patient, effects are just the same. When you reach certain intensity, and you’ll know you did when you feel heat being generated along with juices between your legs, start counting the thrusts; These are called rhythms of Tao, from Taoist lovemaking. Ancient Taoist men used to use them to control their ejaculation and last longer during sex, some even gained a special ability where they could orgasm without ejaculation and not lose their erection, but that’s a subject for another discussion. So, your thrusts should be either shallow or deep. And both shallow and deep thrusts can be slow or fast. Now, what I use on my goddess is first one deep and slow then one shallow and slow. I do this for few minutes while I kiss her, wrap her with my arms and bite her softly, without inflicting pain. You can use either a vibrator or an obedient and patient man to do this to you, shallow meaning; dildo/cock only goes in partially, creating a sense of anticipation. Then deep thrust follows which brings relief and pleasure. Repeated for a while,this technique will increase overall pleasure gradually. Then you change the rhythm and thrusts to one deep and rather fast and one deep and slow. Keep going for few minutes. At this stage juices should be pouring out from vagina, nipples are harder and your face is red. Then switch to two deep and firm thrusts and one shallow and slow. If you are using a man to please you, he will be begging to cum. Tell him to shut up and control himself. If you are using a vibrator, keep going. Now, most important thing is to try to run the vibrator against your most sensitive spot inside. All the while developing muscle memory to stick to rhythms and thrusts. While you also visualize your wildest fantasies. Sometimes I am able to make my goddess orgasm twice or more. But that depends on many other factors I mentioned here early on as well. I hope any of this is some help to you. Have fun and enjoy your femininity. It’s a beautiful thing.

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  EarthQueen

  6 years ago

  Look into this. It's about you getting deeply in touch with your own body and feelings. It. may seem a bit woo woo spiritual weird but its has substance. Don't chase the orgasm, just start find ways to make yourself feel good without focusing on the outcome. Learn how to do self massage and yoni massage yourself and learn breathing techniques. Some women are multi orgasmic but its a fact (read the stats) that many women (a lot) find it much harder if not impossible, especially with a partner. Especially with a partner that they are not very comfortable with (which is most casual sex.) Look at Layla Martins work, Kim Anami can come across as weird but again there's substance there as long as you realise she is often trying to get you to sign up to her very expensive courses, google tantra on Facebook if you have it and start reading. Theres lots of good tantra podcasts as well. Its a big rabbit hole. I don't think there's an easy fix (but I hate that word as it implies you are broken which you aren't) it takes self exploration. I know for me for there's so many factors to having an orgasm. With my ex partner it was a given. I always orgasmed. With casual partners its hit or miss. Alone its easy but its 100% has to do with me feeling comfortable and present at the time. good luck I know it sometimes feels like the whole world is having amazing orgasmy sex but I think its a myth. When I talk to my girlfriends I know plenty of them have issues with it.

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  I found I was thinking about it too much. Trying too hard. Once I let go, stoped thinking about it and just let go that's when I started really enjoying it ( I always enjoyed it just on a different level). It's not as easy as it sound or as simple as it sounds but that's my experience Mrs B

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  horneycouplewa

  6 years ago

  I haven't figured out the why I can't but have the how I can....which is the main thing. Have you tried the womaniser toy ? it's an absolute dream for me, I can come within a minute and sometimes orgasm 2 or 3 times immediately after, it is a very intense orgsm and such a stress relieve ;) But as it is named the womaniser...don't touch me LOL As for actual sex I have to be on top riding hard and fast in just the right position. Possibly different things like booze and other factors as stated above ( I'm not the romantic type) can contribute to whether I cum or not. I have had 3 orgasms in row a few times (very rare) and on occasions not cum but edged soooooo much that I'm very satisfied with that (could be very frustrating for many, I do actually like it even though it's torture hahahaha). Yet I have a "friend" who with the slightest touch and my whole body especially that area feels like electricity is running through me, it's unbelievably arousing BUT yet I may not cum. I'm over the analyzing myself and just enjoy those magnificent feelings. I am how I am and have to giggle (with rolling my eyes) when I get messages saying I'll make you cum and cum again...Yep good luck buddy LOL Mrs H xx

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  My first rebirthing experience was absolutely out of this world, I mean out there flying around the universe, totally blown away, just a reality shifting, life changing never to be forgotten experience. And I’ve never got anywhere close since. My teacher/guru type person calls it silver boxing. The experience is so valuable that it’s been locked up in a silver box to be treasured forever. Maybe that’s where your orgasm is ? I’d be exploring EarthQueens options if I were you, longer faster harder, won’t cut it. It has to come from within.

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  Thanks for your reply, you have given me a lot to think about :)

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  Hi Euphoria, just wanting to share an idear? It is definitely all in the mind! Let's face it, after a hard day do you come home instantly wanting to rip your panties off & masturbate🤔 We have been together around 26 years, you have to be more creative, stimulate the mind! Lets face it, after 26 years we know!! Eg... this is something we love doing 😄 Wife will prepare herself for what might take place! Then lay in a nice steamy bath, Ph at the ready. Hubby... already showered awaits Ph in hand. We both have a collection of very sexy imagines "erotic" mainly women.. Beautiful pic's! We find it extremely arousing sending each other pic's along wif a small message of what is running through our mind, what captives us to that pic! What would you want to do to her babe, if you had her for a night? It is a fantastic way of expressing our feelings, beening honest. Delving deep, often we surprise each other wif what we get back! Usually after a few back & fourths the images become very naughty wif a lot of dirty talk going on! By now the Brain is well and truly turned on! We usually finnish up wif... Ok babe, I'm going to do this to you! Im waiting?? 🤗 We understand beening single is a different ball game. But maybe next time when meeting someone that tickles your interest, slow it down a little. Make it a game! Be creative! Be different! Be vulnerable to suggesting something that usually you might find embarrassing to ask! All this sets a mood for awkward anticipation but wif it comes nervous excitement for what is about to take place! And the more you get away from the physical & start teasing your mental state, you open up a world of possibilities! What we're trying to say is yes there is a lot of positions to try when having sex but position your mind first! 😚

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  compressor

  6 years ago

  Hi there. First off I wanted to say you are a stunning lady. I think you have tried a lot and been given good advice and all I can say is relax. Not sure there is any one thing but a combination of a few things. I hope you continue to enjoy sex and pleasure

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  Quoting 'horneycouplewa' Have you tried the womaniser toy ? it's an absolute dream for me, I can come within a minute and sometimes orgasm 2 Mrs H xx Thanks Mrs H, I've tried the womaniser and it does nothing for me. Lots of good ideas in the comments to try though. I've always been a hard fast now kinda girl so perhaps I should focus on slowing things down and enjoying a more sensual lover sometime :)

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  hahaha relax definitely seems to be a common theme, guess I should stop chasing that high and let it come to me :P Amazing tips everyone - just ordered a tantric sex book, hopefully its a good read :)

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  I have never cum with a man other than my partner.. For me I know there are not to many men willing to go that extra mile so no fault but my own I switch that part off and focus on having a good time. I am very bossy and the focus usually turns to me being that way with men. I do enjoy my play times but would love to be taken to the next level.. Not after a bull but a attentive lover. Bonus for me tho is my partner is amazing lover and soul mate.

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  SSExplorer

  6 years ago

  Ok all the good advice has been said above. All I can add is in my experience women who have difficulty in this area seem to chase size and rougher linker sex to get them over the line. This may work but I don’t think it ends up making the objective easier and may well make it harder. Not withstanding the physical problems Centaur already covered the aim should be to work at orgasming without excessive stimulation. I remember the time with one ex and a lava lamp.......haha no she didn’t insert it but she lay on the couch and just looked at it. Focused on the movements and let it arouse her. I was there as a guide and would not let her touch her pussy. She was able to achieve a number of intense multiple orgasms just like that. Amazing to watch! Conversely when our relationship was on the rocks we both had a hard time in orgasming without extreme mental or physical manipulation. Relax and enjoy I say!

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  compressor

  6 years ago

  You are a beautiful sexy lady and think most men and women would love to take their time to pleasure your body

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  Mask_007

  6 years ago

  Must say. Very good subject. By the way. Mr. MaenadandCentaur. Could you please passe me on a bit mor information about that reading material. Sounds extremely interesting, and I would definitely would like to read it.

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  EarthQueen

  6 years ago

  Quoting 'horneycouplewa' I am how I am and have to giggle (with rolling my eyes) when I get messages saying I'll make you cum and cum again...Yep good luck buddy LOL Mrs H xx Ha ha, yes this. I feel like messaging back "Here's a challenge for you." Seriously though it used to really bother me and I'd get upset and insecure thinking there was something wrong with me because it was so easy with my ex husband. But it really makes sense because if I don't know someone well its exciting, but also a bit nerve wracking. But ever since I just kind of gave up, relax and also take the lead and tell them exactly what I want or show them, its much easier now. It is what it is. The key for me is not feeling at all anxious about it. Also men sometimes get insecure about it but usually it's more to do with me than them. They could be doing everything right but if my heads not in the game and I can't let go, its not going to happen. I do long for the day when I have that sexual synchronicity again. Is it rare? For me its hard to find and I miss it.

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  Mask_007

  6 years ago

  In all of that what about id the gut takes his time to wirk you out and have you enjoying and getting all up and ready first. Does gelp if the guy do please you first and after you.( and he enjoy doing that at same time?) Does that helps?

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  Playful2looking

  6 years ago

  Great advice above ...good sex is in the brain not the body..when you can turn that switch in your head the body will follow trust and clearing you mind of guilt.like the lava lamp thing above. too much focus on men being the answer to orgasmic bliss.men don't automatically know how to please you. get to know your body and guide your partner..

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  Sensual_play

  6 years ago

  Hi euphoria_chaser, Id suggest working with a sexological body worker or a tantric body worker. They specialise in these kind of matters. I have done years of training in the field, abundant have assisted in teaching bodywork on retreats. There are many different pathways. in general these modalities will be about increasing sensitivity to pleasure and releasing tension in specific muscle groups to enable greater capacity for pleasure. It's such a pleasure to see someone transform through new sexual experiences that take them into the unknown 😊 As a couple of most enjoyable times have been with women experiencing whole new levels of pleasure they didn't know was possible. Trust it's not a hard basket to crack and there are people who are very skilled that can take you through new experiences.

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  Sensual_play

  6 years ago

  Excuse my auto incorrect from my phone lol

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  Sawadee

  6 years ago

  ..... " l should stop chasing the high and let it come to me " Thats true '.. it's about letting go and not careing if you cum or not... Once you remove the anxiety of cumming , things surprisingly start to happen. ? That might sound funny but most of us are so intent going for ' the almighty orgasm ' we over ride other senses. In saying that , Mrs Sawadee although multi orgasmic, has never been able to cum with a cock , it's just one of them things. Since agreeing her orgasm is not all that important with a cock and the pressures been taken away, she now seems to get aroused more quickly.. This is where i think Tantric would be of great benefit.. getting your body in tune with your mind and other senses..

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  Replying to Euphoria_chaser I agree that the hard, fast and now strategy is fun but I don’t think it will work every time. There seems to be some good advice on here about relaxing, letting go and just enjoying the moment. I believe in being care free and letting what will be just be. Enjoy the pleasurable sensations and either close your eyes and clear your mind to relax or look into your sexual partners eyes and see them sparkle with connection and affection for you. Allow yourself to feel emotions and sex will be more meaningful 🙂 I hope this helps you.

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  wildcrazyloving

  6 years ago

  I recall the first time I orgasmed was in a threesome with someone I was not attracted too. This scenario taught me how to focus on the feeling/pleasure rather than be self conscious. There are little things I do to assist with orgasm, like lying on my belly, as he enters from behind. I like to hold him firmly with my legs together, as I play with the my c-spot and fantasize. Another trick I have involves sitting on him with his hips rolled forward. He lays still, while I focus on slowly moving my body to find the magic spot (G or A). I find there are little things a partner can do in aiding the ultimate orgasm. It is all in the subtle gestures.. A loving caress, a compliment, sharing feelings.. Combined with passionate kissing and intense intimacy. For me this is promotes whole body orgasms.

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