M52 F57
Guys hitting on the female.
February 24 2019
Comments
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boobsandbusted
7 years ago
yup has happened a couple of times , at a place we used to go to occasionally ,where every time mrs b went to the bar it took her forever cos of the dude serving her spent 10 minutes trying to chat her up ,letting her know where he frequents and lots of questions ,easy answer was if he was working. i got the drinks ,maybe if mrs b fancied him and flirted back it wouldn’t be as annoying but she is being nothing more than polite , it was sort of funny at first but we just don’t go there anymore ,simples, mr b
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RHP User
7 years ago
People are opportunistic, that kind of thing is always going to happen, just as long as you two are secure enough that’s all that really matters.
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
Not only does it happen at Clubs, it happens right here in the Forums.😂 Ms Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
I see I rock your socks off. 😎 Ms Foxy
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RHP User
7 years ago
Is it so bad that the female says yes or no directly to the guy, rather than the guy going to her partner to ask permission to have his way? I have no problem screening who I am interested in on my own and will wait for my partner to return to then approve or disapprove once *I* have decided. Some couples prefer to always be addressed as a single unit but it's not for all. Ms N8
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RHP User
7 years ago
People are going to chat up people they are attracted to. As long as you make it clear you are not interested, no harm done. Either that or wear an "exclusive" placard.
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RHP User
7 years ago
It is disrespectful. Don’t disrespect the male partner by approaching the female on her own. Chances are you’ll get shot down in flames every single time
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RHP User
7 years ago
Koko. Yes it's a swingers club. Chatting up is fine but gesturing to come into a room for a quick fuck while the husband isn't around??? Nah that's not cool on ANY levels.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Woman has to say, thanks but no thanks. Simples
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RHP User
7 years ago
Missing detail Am I to assume he knew you and she were together? Because that’s kind of important in gauging your reaction, or, over reaction. I’m not entirely sure without that context, if you’re more concerned that he asked, or that she may have had opportunity to say yes.
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RHP User
7 years ago
But its a place where fucking goes on so men are going to try their luck.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Luvu2... No need to be so petulant ....
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RHP User
7 years ago
Personally I dont see a problem with it.. It's a swingers club. I would be more concerned if it was a pub.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Mischievouslad. He knew we were together. He knew we were married.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Like at the meet and greet last year.. dude asked if the gent and I were talking to were a couple.. I said no.. as soon as my friend turned his back he thought grabbing me was appropriate behavior.Too many guys think they have a right to you.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'curious_72' Like at the meet and greet last year.. dude asked if the gent and I were talking to were a couple.. I said no.. as soon as my friend turned his back he thought grabbing me was appropriate behavior.Too many guys think they have a right to you. Grabbing or fondling without permission is totally wrong. I tend to agree with others here though in regard to OPs topic - she was propositioned when she didn't want to be, which can happen anywhere in life. I fail to see any harm (says the single bloke).
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
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Rlee552
7 years ago
... perhaps some additional information. When she said no, did he respect that and move on, did she feel pressured or unsafe because of how he was behaving, did you ask him for an explanation to understand his motivation, did he misunderstand a signal or cue from her, if he had asked the question while you were there would you have answered on her behalf or allowed her to answer, if he had asked the question while you were there would both of you have been okay for her to go alone and play with him, did he form the wrong impression that you were being a bit overbearing and perhaps with you gone she could be more free to express her desires etc. You were at a sex club where someone engaged in what you believe to be opportunistic behaviour. I assume if that person broke any of the rules regarding saying no you could have had him removed. So I understand your annoyance - you have a right to be annoyed. That is the part of you though you can control. You can control how badly you are annoyed, for how long and whether you go back to the club. Because you can be damn sure he is not thinking about this anymore, so you are only hurting yourself. Separately, I need to defend quick cheap fucks. Definitely nothing wrong with them.
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
Zero issue with it, and especially if it was at a swingers club. A simple thanks no thanks and walk away would have been my reaction...... no biggy.
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
In a swingers club is a matter of due course but by an employee......? Obviously predatory wrongly using his position. He has no right to do that and should be reported and dismissed from the position of trust.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Doesn’t just happen to the female when the males back is turned ...
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RHP User
7 years ago
After reading some comments.. Getting hit on, and getting groped or "man handled" by un invited men (or women) are two totally different things.. We also have been to 2 separate, private parties, where both hosts seemed to think it was their God given right to a grope upon meeting us! Creeps like this shouldn't be allowed to organize anything. And to be honest I have a sneaking suspicion this is half the reason these particular 2 "men" DO organize parties..
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boobsandbusted
7 years ago
tbh i thought it was more about a worker trying it on ,other swingers yeah what ever ,but not workers mr b
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boobsandbusted
7 years ago
and yes if it was a worker from our exsperiance if the women has to say no thankyou or show zero interest every time she goes to the bar or crosses paths to put off the advances ,it becomes quite. awkward. and uncomfortable for her mr b
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MrandMrsBrady
7 years ago
Whilst I don’t fully agree with what the OP has had happen, I do find it ironic that of the 10 pics on the profile 9 are of Ms and only 1 average dick pick of Mr, seems you are in a way using the usual bait on a couples profile and yet complaining when you don’t catch what you want. MrBrady
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RHP User
7 years ago
Guys aren’t the only ones who dodge a partner 🤷♂️
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RHP User
7 years ago
In reply to some of the comments/questions. 1. What do our profile pics have to do with the situation? The male in question hasn't seen our profile and it also clearly states we want couples or single ladies. Isn't the female the piece of the puzzle that BOTH sexes look at first? We have further photos of him in the private folder if anyone shows further interest. Not into displaying clear face shots for all to see. 2. If he asked with the male half there it would still be up to her if she said yes or no. As our profile suggests, she says no cos that's not what we are looking for. No harm done. We move on. 3. If someone is working at the venue they should remain professional and not engage in non work related activities. Just keep people safe and secure and clear some tables. 4. If he doesn't work there and is enjoying the party, he should still consider the partner when suggesting he has sex with the female. It's the most respectful thing he could do. 5. No he didn't get a chance to linger as we left pretty much straight after the incident happened. The annoyance will fade and this will no doubt continue to happen again and again. He will consider it a compliment from this point forward. It's good to know you have a very desirable partner that both sexes want.
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MrandMrsBrady
7 years ago
No the female isn’t the first part of a profile WE look at it, because in general most of the females are head and shoulders above the male, so believe it or not the first thing I/we look at is the male...and only 1 dodgy pic tells me he’s average at best. Again Mr Brady
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DynamicCouple36
7 years ago
Predators It’s in the genes, and happens a lot when sex is all that’s on the brain .....
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RHP User
7 years ago
I’m with fatty... That’s how I’d have responded too if the tables were reversed... Which is also why I’m a little confused as to what all the bravado is about... I think personally it wouldn’t have mattered if he worked there or not...I think you’d still have reacted in this way...which I don’t think it’s much to do with respect, but I think for many they want input into who they share their partner with.....which when you pull it down to the bones, you’ve a sense of ownership to a point... Old school values die hard in this day and age...
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RHP User
7 years ago
Guys who sneak are the same guys who creep! lmao
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quote RedMustang I agree with u. Don’t disrespect male Or female partners - PERIOD. If u can’t ask while a partner is present, don’t ask at all ! 😊
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Seachange73
7 years ago
Agree with Koko and Ms N8. Surely we're adults enough to say 'yes' or 'no' to any propositions. I don't need to be asking for my partner's permission for someone to approach me for a chat or a quick chat. Sometimes, we go to clubs with our fwbs, male friends or a date. Not every 'couple' in a swinger's club is a couple per se. No harm in asking. Just say no, and move on. Mr. B, Would it really matter or be less annoying to the male partner if the female fancies the opportunistic male or not? Just curious. I'm trying to understand your point as i read your post that the behaviour is tolerable only if Mrs B fancied him? There seems to be a disconnect there.
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boobsandbusted
7 years ago
@seachange ,sorry it’s hard to put in words ,but it was mrs b that felt annoyed at said worker as she had made it clear no interest if she had of been interested then maybe she would have felt differently ,but every time there was a trip to the bar he would continue as long as i wasn’t nearby,next time we bump into each other i can explain much easier to you ,i suppose in short no is no ,and when you can’t avoid them and they persist cos you want a drink from them ,it’s annoying ,that’s our only bad experience with anything like that,mrs is well and truely able to stick up for herself if she wants to mr b
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melbcpl01
7 years ago
Have had it happen to me when hubby has gone to the loo . these guys are just sleezy scum trying to sneek in while the male half is walking the dog . have even had one guy that wanted a play and told my partner he was not welcome to join . seriously what was going through that clowns head . .We now avoid any party that allows single males its not worth the hassle
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PropaNawtyCouple
7 years ago
That’s my pet peev too. Proper slimy. Surely their success rate is low with that tact. Another peev is lack of effort from single guys. 🤯🔫
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RHP User
7 years ago
Personally ide be flattered.....
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RHP User
7 years ago
From experience, girls always get propositions at swingers clubs. That's the point. I've left Abi a number of times because I know she will find it easier without me to have a chat and fuck a guy. I often return and see her doing something with someone because me being there can be off putting. Understand the male psyche and this will all become clear. We see another male with a female and we throw caution. That's in our make up. That will probably not change. Enjoy the attention and say no :)
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TwoPlus
7 years ago
Let’s be realistic here. You are at a swingers party after all. It’s hard to define for the male that approached the female if she plays alone or only with her partner. Maybe the male that made the pass didn’t know either way. So a polite no, I only play together with my partner would be the answer. How do you know the guy that hit on her even knew she had a partner... regardless you have a choice to say yes or no. This happened to me 2 weeks ago when I was standing alone and my partner was in the bathroom. Easy... I took it as a compliment.
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RHP User
7 years ago
This will happen but you are in the place for it. As the male of the couple in this lifestyle I have no problems if D gets hit on. We wouldn’t be here if we didn’t totally love and trust each other and respected our personal rules. I dare saying your relationship would be the same? And you’re overthinking it all.
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eroarts
7 years ago
... "just as long as you two are secure enough that’s all that really matters."
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jojo1970
7 years ago
Am I missing something.......... it’s is a swingers club, people get propositioned, are we all not there for that reason, to play with other, next to others, swap with others ........ not every couple that goes to a club is married or even together .... they may be playmates. No harm in asking ....... a simple no thanks, no issue.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Whats a guy supposed to do.If he does hes dammed if he doesnt the same.Couple goes home snd says no one hot on us and got no action.Guy goes home and thinks didnt try.Maybe wear a sign on ya back at swingers club saying negotiation with partner present only.
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RHP User
7 years ago
I get that there could be a level of frustration. Yes some guys will try it without the presence of the male partner. As a single guy it seems we are the bad guy here. But let's just assume men here? There is a lot being said about being in a swingers club and him working. Seems very simliar to the its a sex site so the behavior should be excused comments. For me the stand out is when the original poster (thats what OP stands for to all those that havent figured out fourm acronyms yet) states he knew we were married. That seems the least valid defence of their indignation here. It seems the sole purpose of attending a party like that is to take the neccesary steps to find a thrid wheel. So marriage has little to no relevance in my view.
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RHP User
7 years ago
This is the exact reason I avoid parties with single males, or only those that have minimal who are vetted and screened prior. You attend basic parties, you will receive basic interactions.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Funny that the majority of males have said there's no issue here. Maybe it is being over thunk (If thunk is a word). In a way it is flattering to know she is well sort after but still, don't be chatting normally while the male is there and as soon as he goes off to the bar or toilet, take the opportunity to see if she'll have sex with you on the sly. Maybe if he said "while your partner watches" it would have been a different reaction or feeling.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Your sixth sense will tell you without even seeing them, they are the snakes in the shadows. Opportustic absolutely, turns me off as a bloke and mindful of how I would seem to a pretty lady just to say hello.. Some guys just don’t get it and never will 🌱probably turned your man off too, be selective of your events I guess... Just remember there is some gold amongst the shit
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RHP User
7 years ago
We as hosts of Heavenly Taboo's are just that we host our parties we do not play, We are there to ensure our guests have a safe environment to come and enjoy their night and have hosts they can approach at anytime during the night, We tell all our guests that at anytime during the night if they have any problems to please come tell us so that we can deal with any problems on the night, Dont tell us the next day as there isnt much we can do about what has happened but we do contact the person/persons in question to let them know their behavior is not acceptable at our parties, We are high on Etiquette, Respect and Consent, Sadly this type of behavior will always happen.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Not on! He is supposed to be working. This is really venue workers etiquette but we all know so many have total disregard... and it's not just males! .......... and "No Thannks" doesn't work when persistence more like PESTististence is invoked.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Did the partner say no to the guy? It takes two to tango.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Of course she said no...more like Noooooooo. That's not the point of the discussion anyway.
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RHP User
7 years ago
This isn’t the 1950’s and you are at a Swingers club. I fail to see the issue. Seriously! You say you are not interested. Pretty simple. I often experienced the situation were men would come up to my partner and ask do you mind if I fuck your wife. Like... I’m right here, ask me. And that is exactly what my partner would say to them. You need to ask her. People can’t read your mind, couples go to clubs for all sorts of reasons. You simple can’t be that sensitive.
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RHP User
7 years ago
CandyD. At NO stage did we say they had to ask HIM. If you want to do something to her then have the decency to say it when he's there. Don't wait for him to walk away and then say "how about it?".
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RHP User
7 years ago
Hey beautiful Luke your ...
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Verypicky
7 years ago
I don’t see a issue with it either. I reckon we would be more offended I no one took a interest. At least the guy took the first step and made the offer. As you can always say no - I will wait for hubby and then go play. As you have to realize some wife’s would certainly take the opportunity as that’s what the husbands want them to do. Hotwifing And let’s face it you didn’t go there to make cookies 🍪- you went for erotic times
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RHP User
7 years ago
Some guys just don't learn basic common courtesy and respect when they talk to females. I wish this guy could just chill out and be polite.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Why we don’t go to swingers clubs in a nutshell.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Did the said staff take no as an answer or keep pestering ?
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RHP User
7 years ago
This is probably why most swing club's rules are "No means no". True chivalrous gentlemen being hard to come by and "Alphas" being glorified may be two reasons why this happens again and again.
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melbcpl01
7 years ago
We think the guys should talk with both halves of the couple not wait till they separate to go bar . toilet etc its annoying and disrespectful . One reason we aboid parties that allow single males
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RHP User
7 years ago
Hi love to play
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On_Safari
7 years ago
Around this behaviour. A confident guy doesn’t hesitate to approach someone he’s attracted to even if her partner is with her (or that’s been my experience) especially in this scene. Waiting for the male half to leave and shepparding the lady aside or getting her alone kind of comes over as sleazy but could also just be lack of confidence. I think it’s up to the women to either bring him over to the partner and have a normal conversation or she just says politely thanks but no thanks I’m not interested. I let every guy I meet know I’m partnered and that he has to meet them - it’s quite simple stuff really - respect for yourself and others, dignity and not yanking anyone’s chain. I would believe most women here would know themselves, what approaches are acceptable and what isn’t and what they do and don’t like enough to educate those kinds of guys or just put them in their place. (That possibly sounds rough, entitled but it’s not meant to be) I’ll talk to anyone - it’s up to them and their behaviour if they get a polite short shift or told in no uncertain terms run along now ~ my thoughts, Indy
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RHP User
7 years ago
Get the hit or don’t get the heat
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RHP User
7 years ago
Surely better than no one hitting on you at all
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DonnaBrett
7 years ago
Yeah I guess it has happened a few times over the years...no biggie though. Donna just says no thanks or she fucks him, it's her choice. At a mixed party we usually play together but can do our own thing with singles or even other couples if someone takes our fancy.
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hotdelights
7 years ago
stick to couple's night ......only more chance of.... no PUSHY single males... never heard of single swinging would u think a couple will show some attention to singles or do u send the missus on the hunt
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RHP User
7 years ago
Hey
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RHP User
7 years ago
We had something similar happen at a birthday party night out. A friend of someone else propositioned me to have sex with him while my man was elsewhere. His wife was sitting right there too. I ofcourse said but what about my man and he was quick to say well he can have his wife. For me it has to be a mutual conversation not a one way type thing ;) so didn’t go ahead!
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RHP User
7 years ago
Its happened to us but while I was with my Wife. The guy just moved in. Wasn’t interested in talking to me or acknowledging I was there. Only interested in getting gravy on his meat. He didn’t in the end, Wife tokdvhim if you can’t respect my Husband you can’t respect me. Should have seen the look on his face.....but no apology. Some people think it’s their god given right to have sex with however they want. If you want that, go to a massage parlour and pick from the ladies there!!!
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