M54 F54

Flick the switch?

May 30 2011

Hi all, we recently had the pleasure of being wined and dined by another couple in their home, great curry and good wine too! After dinner had taken place and the drinks were served (and the kids off to bed....will leave that for another topic!), the evening was getting so late, almost to the point where we were looking at each other thinking....well nothing happening here! There was no flirting, touching, sly grabbing, heck we weren't even sitting within arms reach of the other couple! All of a sudden, Mr Host jumps up and says, how about we put on a movie to get us all in the mood (or words to that effect). Of course the mandatory porno is put on and away things went. Just like flicking on a switch! This made for a very awkward evening which, in hindsight we shouldn't have gone ahead with, but we live and learn. Just wanting to know from others, have you experienced these types of meets, is this the way it goes or are we expecting too much by hoping for some flirting etc before playing?

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RHP User

15 years ago

We wouldn't have gone ahead. The build up is more exciting than the act itself. But nevertheless it is an experience to learn from and mightn't have happened if the guys or the girls had chatted online or talked over the phone on how they expect things to work out.

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RHP User

15 years ago

We wouldn't have gone ahead. The build up is more exciting than the act itself. But nevertheless it is an experience to learn from and mightn't have happened if the guys or the girls had chatted online or talked over the phone on how they expect things to work out.

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RHP User

15 years ago

..after they got the kids to bed? How very strange..My eyes would have been drilling holes into Mr Sats head hoping our years of being together meant my urgent try of mental telepathy to say "Lets get the F**K outta here..we are sooo not playing" would have worked.Each to there own and how they want to play but why couldnt they have sorted out there night better ie: babysitters/hotel room etc so as to get to porno play part a lot earlier then what they did? Havent come across that lucky to say,and NO you are certainly not expecting too much before playing.

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RHP User

15 years ago

We wouldn't have gone ahead. The build up is more exciting than the act itself. But nevertheless it is an experience to learn from and mightn't have happened if the guys or the girls had chatted online or talked over the phone on how they expect things to work out.

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RHP User

15 years ago

Quoting 'sweet_cupple'We wouldn't have gone ahead. The build up is more exciting than the act itself. But nevertheless it is an experience to learn from and mightn't have happened if the guys or the girls had chatted online or talked over the phone on how they expect things to work out. Excuse our naiveity, would it be considered too forthright to say "we love to flirt and a mess around before getiing jiggy?", to a couple we were setting up a play date with? Thanks for any advice given we are new to "the lifestyle" and we want to have as much chance of enjoying our journey.

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RHP User

15 years ago

Ok for starters theres your alarm bells right there.......kids to bed no way. Kids and sex play dont mix at all lol. thats what hotels are for, and porn playing while kids are asleep in another room another nono. Generally we find that during our playdates that we have had there has been some kind of communication going on whether it be eye contact or flirty banter of some sort to give an indication we are all going to play. We have been lucky not to have any bad experiences yet (fingers crossed it stays that way) however we have come across a lovely bunch that we keep in contact with and have played with more than once so i guess that helps. cindy

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RHP User

15 years ago

Thanks everyone for their advice, in the cold light of hindsight, we should have left when we believed it was getting too late, (and when we realised the kiddies were still in the house!). Everything that you have all said, we were thinking it, just as newbies, we weren't sure exactly how it should work. We now know that if it isn't fun in the build up or if the venue isn't right, it is not going to happen, also we are going to be more upfront before the meet as to what is required for us to be comfortable.

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RHP User

15 years ago

Just watched a documentary by Louis Theroux on the swingers lifestyle in the US. One part in particular got our attention and we thought it pertains to this post. A woman (who is an organiser for parties) said she believes that swinging is, 60% socialising, 20% sex and 20% nurturing. She went on to describe the nurturing part as holding hands, stiing on laps, kissing, caressing, flirting etc. Would anyone following this topic agree or disagree with that summation? (We tend to believe it, but without that experience would love to hear from people with more experience).

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RHP User

15 years ago

"wined and dined" before sex? not sure about others here, but play on a full stomach isnt something that ever happens in our household, lol.........

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