EQ, because you asked for it...

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  Any port in a storm , it’s to high of the ground to eat grass and it’s got to be fed 😂

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  Don't mind me. Just passing through

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  But a friend who was recently divorced and absolutely devastated by her husbands betrayal was amazed to find that an old family friend had been in love with her for years They have now been happily married for five years. They are both in their late sixties BTW. As for the widow/ widower scenario it probably depends on a few things.It used to be that a year was considered to be a suitable time of mourning,but it depends on the state of the marriage before the death of the husband or wife, For instance had they had a long illness? Or had the relationship broken down? Would the new relationship cause problems in eithers' family?Sometimes sons and or daughters are concerned for their parent,are they being taken advantage of ,emotionally,financially.Will they be disinherited if their parent remarries? And finally,what will the neighbours think :) Hugs Q

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  EarthQueen

  7 years ago

  Ah, thanks for thinking of me. It's a refreshing topic change and an escape from never ending dogging posts. This is somewhat pertinent because my Mother started dating an old school friend 6 weeks after my father passed and had moved in with him by about the three month part. I think your scenario is pretty common. I know at least three people who have done this. I think it's fine TBH. Its their life and if it makes the two people happy.... so be it. I think the danger in it, and this is certainly true in my Mum's case, is that she didn't give herself time to grieve properly. People in that position then become very emotionally vulnerable and they possibly make decisions that they wouldn't make if they were in a clearer frame of mind. This is OK if their partner has good intentions, but not so much if there is any suggestion of manipulation etc. What do you think Mojo?

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  I'm too out of it after the dental surgery yesterday. So let me get back to you, Mum outlived 2 husbands and a boyfriend so I do have an opinion on the subject.

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  Sawadee

  7 years ago

  When i read your mum started dating a old friend after only 6 weeks , l was surprised how uneasy this made me feel with something inside me yelling ' no , too soon .. But thats only my personable reaction and maybe a old fashion view. I agree when you say you do need to give yourself time to allow the healing process to take place before anything else because of the possible vuneral state of mind. Of course lm on the outside looking in , and mine is only 1 mans opinion. Your mum might well be strong enough to handle the situation no problem .. But if she were my mum , my concern would be the same as yours..

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  Mum was widowed at 34 y/o and with a 3 y/o in tow. I now know that she was getting hit on quite regularly in the years that followed. She remarried about 10 years later & that was great, I got an old man, some grand parents a farm to roam all over with an air rifle. She was widowed again in her 70's and in next to no time soene she knew from the Army days lobbed on her door step, they were an item fo a good 10 years or so and travelled a lot together.Now to go on a tangent there seems to be a fair number of women my age who are widows. The saddest was the one I mentioned in the motorcycle thread, she didn't want to lose another man to motorcycles.Persoanlly I don't feel comfortable approaching a widow, for two reasons. Firstly I can never fill a dead man's shoes and secondly if she says she's glad to be rid of him I feel awkward and I'm not sure I want to be with a hard girl...Nuff said for now.

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