F54
Double standards
October 10 2015
Comments
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sweetgem
10 years ago
See it acceptable at all for both genders to cheat, on RHP and in the real world! However, it is none of my business if people (men and women) choose or want to cheat. I am not God and I don't care what others want to do with their lives, knowing that I won't be the one to face the consequences when things got busted, just like the Ashley Madison's hacking incident. As for the question of why your partner is getting judged and you're not, my guess is, there are too many male members on RHP compares to the females', so even if the male members have come across an attached-female profile like yours, some of them would still not want to voice their opinions because, they need a hookup for their needs and if they judge you, well it is obvious what their chances of getting laid are, isn't it?! 😛 Apart from the above guessing, I suspect that a great proportion of the male members on RHP are either attached or married themselves. If that is the case, then what right do they have to judge you, jennifer102? 😛 besides, we women are sensitive human beings and it could be the case of some female members of RHP were cheated on before, which have left them hurt and scarred for a very long time, if not for life! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
We have no problem with people playing alone when they have their partners permission to do so. We have played with attached people before, but only after we have spoken to their partner and confirmed that they are aloud to play alone. As for playing with people, both men and women who are married and do not have their partners consent to play, then we choose to steer clear of them as we do not wish to be involved in any of their dramas. We don't look down on them for choosing to do what they do, as it is their choice.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Are guys more likely to turn a blind eye because the number of women available here is limited? Women can be much more choosy, are they more judgemental as a result of being spoiled for choice? Or is it because statistically more men cheat and more women have been burned before? Perhaps they respond harshly as a direct result of their own experiences? Just throwing some things out there, I don't know.
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RHP User
10 years ago
The assumption from many women is that the men are lying unless proven otherwise. I don't blame them as many men do, it's just a sad state of affairs we all have to deal with. This is also why many profiles (women and couples) state that they will only play with a male who is partnered but has permission to play seperately, if they are able to meet/talk to the other half first. It doesn't matter that the man has expressed his permission to play, or that he has provided the link to the couple's profile or the other half. Sometimes, it really won't matter what he says as I'm sure women have seen many types of "claims" and they've turned out to be wrong from experience. So if the man removed the link to avoid the harassment, are you still expecting him to tell any playmate his real situation? If yes, it might just mean he cops abuse/disbelief from women in person when he tells them rather than in messages. I will watch this conversation closely as I've just developed a fwb and have recently put that in my profile, but only on rhp so I will see if there's any contact difference.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Put it in your profile that you are willing to speak on the phone to verify you give permission for him to play alone. There are far too many males on this site and most are cheating hubby's. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Some very good points ladies, but what I can't understand is why your partner in crime is receiving these accusations? My profile clearly states that I am married with kids, links to our couples profile, it states that we do play apart and when. While I have been told by others on RHP that they aren't comfortable meeting up with a taken man (which is their principles and something I respect) I have never been accused of cheating. Maybe the words I have used seem more genuine than the words he has used, but either way, if he was cheating why would he openly share the contact details of the person we would be cheating on?
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RHP User
10 years ago
It might be because a lot of women think with their heart because they need an emotional connection to be attracted in the first place. Whereas majority of men think it out with their head/s
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RHP User
10 years ago
According to the Great Australian Sex Census 2015 37.8 % of Australians cheat...of this percentage 39%are men and 35.3% are women but when it comes to forgiveness there is a much bigger gap..33% of men said yes,but only 23% of women said yes....I think as has been said already that there are a lot of married or attached men here ...that the number of men here compared to women is huge,and that most men here are not going to spend time energy,and effort on sending critical messages to a woman.So I don't think it's so much a double standard as a different view..xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
Freya.. :)out of the 37.8% of Australians who cheat, only 74.3% are either male or female.. the mind boggles at what/who the other 25.7% are :) BUT.. "On topic" now..I have been single for a LONG time.. and been on here under a couple of profiles for nearly as long .. :)less the 10% of the single people I have played with or am playing with on here have NOT been cheating.. .My argument is that I never went to everyone's wedding and stood up stating I was NOT going to have sex with the female partner IF the chance came along.. I may end up getting dead from an angry husband, and certainly had to fight my way out of some shitty situations... that STARTED off being hot and sweaty.I do not care who cheats, nor do I care why, when, how and where they do it.I have cheated, and been cheated on BTW..SO.. if there are any women out here cheating.. and don't wish to be accused and abused for it.. but still want to do it.. "Call me...."
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RHP User
10 years ago
Women are much better at not being caught cheating..Cavey,I was never good at maths and obviously neither is the Great Australian Sex census..😘xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
You're not looking for a relationship, so are you a couple now?
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RHP User
10 years ago
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Enjoylifealways
10 years ago
There are a lot of men pretending so I think people are cautious . So I would want to hear from the partner it was o.k so I would suggest we all meet for a drink so we could hear from the horses mouth. But sending abusive judgemental messages without the facts is well out of order grrr. We both play without the other we aren't cheating ,cheating is not acceptable from other sex. Playing alone is is acceptable for everyone :)
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RHP User
10 years ago
The points I would have suggested have already been raised. So +1 to the above. My only idea for you would be to in regards to your couples profile: have couple photos, have it verified and refer to both your separate single profiles in there.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'libbylou'There are far too many males on this site and most are cheating hubby's. - Posted from rhpmobile Again and again I read this comment on here...but where is the evidence to back it up?The first part is fairly obvious, but the second observation...? As was suggested before, are women more judgemental as a result of being spoiled for choice?And do they respond harshly because more women have been burned before? I don't have the answers but I can read between the lines.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Cavey, the other 25.7% is Annie and her sisters... Bloody horny pack of ol tarts they is, insatiable 😈
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Koolgrey' Quoting 'libbylou'There are far too many males on this site and most are cheating hubby's. - Posted from rhpmobile Again and again I read this comment on here...but where is the evidence to back it up?The first part is fairly obvious, but the second observation...? That's a big assumption to make I think, but unfortunately a very common one. If a man's relationship status says "Attached" he must be cheating, whereas an attached woman probably has permission from hubby to fulfill some fantasies, right? It'something I keep hearing, and not just here. Look at the Ashley Madison hack. The guys who were outed were vilified, but did we hear anything about all the women who were caught looking for affairs on the site? I believe people saw them as the women the arseholes cheated with, rather than cheaters themselves.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' You're not looking for a relationship, so are you a couple now? I've played as a couple with two different men and had a couples profile with one of them for two years. None of us were looking for a relationship, so we played together as a team without being together. Or, as Gwyneth may put it: We were consciously non-coupled.
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RHP User
10 years ago
You say on both profiles you are single, but your other one says: "Relaxed, friendly couple" What does that mean exactly then? You're a couple of singles?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Might be frowned upon to achieve, and even worse to share the proof. But a profile something like this might get a few bites from men who are here secretly. "Can you keep a secret? About me: I'm a married woman with an itch. Over-sexed and under-utilised. Looking for discrete interludes of short but intensely passionate moments. I have energy to burn and needs that cause restless nights. Can you keep up? Looking For: A hushed dalliance, and a blurred face. Someone that takes my breath away. Preference is for married men with similar needs. Let's create something illicit, but nothing meaningful. Hush ;)" This is not me btw, and I wouldn't do it, but the idea of getting evidence sparked my imagination.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Meander just hit the nail on the head I think... Maybe if all your 3 profiles all added up to be up to be very open and explaining exactly what the situation is then maybe he wouldn't cop so much flack. If they all read different things then you will get questions, or no replies.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Yes, there was no judgement and i'm aware people get together for couples profiles, just some of the wording made it sound like a relationship type of couple, which may confuse people looking at the profiles, which might make them hesitant trusting, just a thought
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RHP User
10 years ago
...I don't literally expect evidence of anything, but that's kind of my point ☺. It's just a little tiring regularly reading such wild claims as most men on this site being cheating hubbies...with no fact behind such a claim. As i am one of the single men of this site, I do feel slightly tarred with a dirty brush 😒.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' You say on both profiles you are single, but your other one says: "Relaxed, friendly couple" What does that mean exactly then? You're a couple of singles? In answer to that Meander, We met through RHP and I was looking to broaden my horizons. So after discussion I created the couples profile and linked mine to it. He also linked his to it . So on viewing all 3 were linked. We don't live together, we are both single but we have a relationship of sorts. So yes a couple of singles/FWB that play together.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Enjoylifealways' We both play without the other we aren't cheating ,cheating is not acceptable from other sex. Playing alone is is acceptable for everyone :) Pre RHP days I would not have understood the difference. Having been on this site a while and seen the interaction from couples who have permission to play, my outlook has changed too. I agree with the quote above. With permission it isn't cheating. Thanks to everyone who posted thus far. The information has been very valuable and informative. Ill look at the wording in our profiles and change/adjust whats needed.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I am speaking from experience about cheating husbands/partners. My hubby will verify he knows I am on here. When I have asked "attached"men if I can speak to their partners they suddenly get very cold feet. Wife is at work, just ducked out or they will admit their partner doesn't know. My profile states I will need to speak with the partner if you are attached, yet I constantly receive flirts and messages from cheating men. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'PepperRose' Might be frowned upon to achieve, and even worse to share the proof. But a profile something like this might get a few bites from men who are here secretly. "Can you keep a secret? About me: I'm a married woman with an itch. Over-sexed and under-utilised. Looking for discrete interludes of short but intensely passionate moments. I have energy to burn and needs that cause restless nights. Can you keep up? Looking For: A hushed dalliance, and a blurred face. Someone that takes my breath away. Preference is for married men with similar needs. Let's create something illicit, but nothing meaningful. Hush ;)" This is not me btw, and I wouldn't do it, but the idea of getting evidence sparked my imagination. Ummm... I have seen many a woman's profile very similarly worded, that openly state they are here playing without permission.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Seems ive opened a can of worms. No pun intended guys!!!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Hi all I'm the partner off Jennifer102. Yes we are a couple that have not here and have our own single profiles as well as our couple profile We both have our own lives and don't control each other. There have been a number of times where I have attempted to chat to a women here who are married and are seeking fun. But since I mentioned I was part of a couple and we are both consenting I was told I don't do attached men, your cheating, etc. Yet the person in question is married and her partner had no idea so tell me who is the one cheating - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Are guys more likely to turn a blind eye because the number of women available here is limited? Women can be much more choosy, are they more judgemental as a result of being spoiled for choice? Or is it because statistically more men cheat and more women have been burned before? Perhaps they respond harshly as a direct result of their own experiences? Just throwing some things out there, I don't know. From what I'm told (by both men, being privy to their conversations when they're women aren't about and by women I've known over the years), I would say that men are more likely to cheat on a partner than a woman. But my first wife cheated with many, including my best mate (who was quickly NOT my best mate). I've never cheated on anyone I was I a relationship with. So there are exceptions to each assertion. I also think your suggestion that men are more likely to overlook a cheating woman because of the imbalance and lack of choice (and also your suggestion of women being more choosy... A direct result of the 'choice factor', I feel). So, I think your 'throwing it out there' is pretty near the truth... But who really knows. It's all 'opinion'... (Shit, I did that without writing a 'novel'... LOL)
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kimarianne
10 years ago
how is it people call it cheating when both parties are ok with it....to me, that is NOT cheating
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RHP User
10 years ago
Cheating is what it is called. I am here testing the water and that doesn't make it right but I am upfront in saying I want an experience outside of my marriage. This is something I want to do for me and don't try to justify it but be open about it. I hope she never knows about it but I will accept my fate if I fuck up. She wants to keep me around we have had a good run and have a happy healthy family but I have questions about what I want so why throw away everything if its just an itch or a speed hump on the road of life.I have a strong suspicion she has cheated but I don't bring it up and she would deny it and I guess I would too if I had cheated. I can live with it if she did as it it is history and I am out looking for some discreet fun due to our current situation.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I think you need a good feed. Looking a bit on the lean side in your profile pic. Lol
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