M48 F48
Couples vs Singles.
September 09 2011
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quote "Has Jane just been to spoiled with the ball in her court?" . . if its only one ball she is only having half the fun :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think you're right on the money here. Women do get spoilt for choice, we can have whatever we want because it's a sellers market, to be crude. I found that often when we were playing though that often i fancied the hell out of the woman of the couple and rarely fancied the guy. Part of the problem here is that social expectations dictate that a woman keep herself in fine form until the day she practically drops dead and men don't have that particular expectation placed upon them. Society places different expectations on men. I have lost track of the amount of times where the woman is still hot and the guy went off the boil years ago because he didn't bother to take care of himself. Could also be Tim that what she has at home is what's better than 98% of what is "out there" as she sees it and frankly I know how she feels. There have been times that hubby has been really keen on a woman and i just just couldn't come at her husband and he's had to miss out because I couldn't (and shouldn't have to) "take one for the team". Sure, i felt bad but everyone deserves to be lusted after by their lover/sexual partner and if i wasn't going to be able to offer that then we just had to pass. It's just honesty. Either one should be able to say "i'm sorry honey but he/she just doesn't ring my bell", With the interested partner graciously accepting that. We did find that singles were easier or single dates but that was just for us, not everyone. My hubby went on a single date or two when i didn't fancy the hubby of the woman he was interested in. There's ways around everything, you just have to find one that makes you both completely happy and always put the primary relationship first. xx goodgrl
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RHP User
14 years ago
It is usually me (Mich) that does the messaging and choosing and I know the experinence that you mean! We don't ever look for single guys though, but with couples, the female seems fine and you are right they both seem to tick all the other others until....the 'normal' male picture.....they hardly ever meet my expectations. I want someone to at least be as attractive as my attractive husband... I was wondering if it was just me, so LOL, I am glad that it is not! Mich x
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RHP User
14 years ago
When we were dipping our toes in the water meeting couples for the first time.. We were chatting on MSN like a lot of nervous newbies do and some more experienced swingers said to us..........You have met 7-8 couples and you have not played!......"They must be a pretty ugly lot down your way"," you have to develop a sluttish attitude to swing" So we said right...the couple we meet we are playing full swap........LOL they turned us down when we got to the bedroom and no swapping, own partner sex, watching others ....shit happens! If a couple said to us they play only with only 1 in 10 they meet, we would respond "we would prefer not to meet, good luck out there"......Like you have seen photos, talked on the phone, and 1 in 10! We will turn down that many but thats before we meet. Also consider your wife may jealous and don't want to see you with another lady so she is blocking those opportunities.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I can certainly see what Mr Justenough is saying but Your hot, she's hot (as long as you're both nice people too)...why settle? You can afford to be picky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'justenough' When we were dipping our toes in the water meeting couples for the first time.. We were chatting on MSN like a lot of nervous newbies do and some more experienced swingers said to us..........You have met 7-8 couples and you have not played!......"They must be a pretty ugly lot down your way"," you have to develop a sluttish attitude to swing" So we said right...the couple we meet we are playing full swap........LOL they turned us down when we got to the bedroom and no swapping, own partner sex, watching others ....shit happens! If a couple said to us they play only with only 1 in 10 they meet, we would respond "we would prefer not to meet, good luck out there"......Like you have seen photos, talked on the phone, and 1 in 10! We will turn down that many but thats before we meet. Also consider your wife may jealous and don't want to see you with another lady so she is blocking those opportunities. It'd defiantly not a Jealousy issue. We have played with some very attractive females both single and in couple situations. She Just said to me the other day I wish we could take girl A from that couple and match her up with single guy B. I never expect her to take one for the team and I always just bite my tong and move on. Now matter how hot the girl is.I do agree that a vast majority of the females have kept them self in great condition and at times the male 1/2 has had such a good run with hot wife. He has perhaps relaxed a little to much. Its no reflection on who they are its just different criteria are used when selecting a playmate than a life partner. We don't make a game of wasting peoples time .We wouldn't agree to meet people in person if we didn't think there was a good chance we are going to say yes to more. Based on there pics and a chat on the phone beforehand. That's why we like profiles that have a clear recant shot of both people from a couple. Not 101 of her and one blurry one of him hiding in the back ground.Tim
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sorry, meant to say buyers market but even that's a matter of perspective
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RHP User
14 years ago
We subscribe to the thoughts it has to be a fair swap for both of us, From the ladies mouth here she comes out with things like "Some ladies swing because their husbands are hopeless in bed" Its near impossible to scan for that one apart from in real life a couple rules: If the other guy is having problems getting hard ...I don't fuck his wife. When the other guy cums ....I go back to my wife, has obvious repercussions if he is only thinking of his own pleasure. Agree it would be nice to mix and match others to find that perfect couple, we wish that too. There are also some great guys with ladies that have let themselves go, and the Mrs here didn't save me and say" we wont go there," She liked her husband....... Things a guy does for his wife......
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RHP User
14 years ago
we are fussy too.....and dont this by halves...both must be equally as attracted or attractive.....or it stops cold. this is about fantasy....and the bloke next doors nowhere in either of ours...........
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RHP User
14 years ago
Tim I hear you loud and clear! I have experienced this in the past when i was part of a couple a few years ago. We would meet and as there is 4 minds and bodies to consider it is so much harder to tick all the right boxes. So too all the guys out there who are part of a couple you need look after yourselves and get fit and start your skin care program as well. The ladies out there do have the pick of the ocean. They can look to fulfill those fantasies they have. So why not! after all women do have the power on this site.Beauxxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
After much thought we have the answer it should let everyone have the required effect they are looking for . The other guy must be better than my wives husband The other wife must be better than my wife. I must be better than the other wives husband. My wife must be better than the other guys wife. There thats cool everyone is shooting high and should get what they want =" " See its too easy.
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RHP User
14 years ago
....then you don't have to play. It's not being spoiled, it's just being honest. Life is too short to fuck people we don' t find attractive.Boy am I in a mood today!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
I guess everyone's idea of what is attractive is different. I am sure there are some basic foundations though that most would agree on. I do agree with the idea of the other party being at least comparable to the partner you have at home. With some give and take though. As every one shines in different areas. I take a slightly different view then Jane. I don't expect the girl to be a size 8 like Jane. Infarct I find a girls attitude and personality to be a bigger part of what turns me on than just a hot body. That said I still like girls who have some respect for there body and make the most of what they have. As in make an effort to dress well and be clean and healthy. Tim
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tomrach79
14 years ago
We too are picky on who we meet. We have met with couples, merely because they agreed and actually showed up but werent into it so politely declined. We are tall and kind of expect our playmates to be tallish also. I guess a similar kind of pickiness. Some of the best nights we have had have been with people that normally on their own we would not be that attractive to us but because we got on so well we had a fantastic night and the sex was so much better than with other 'prettier' couples... Sometimes for us, looks arent everything every time. Each to their own. No harm in trying!! xx
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playfulminx
14 years ago
I don't think your lovely lady should have to 'settle' but there is some need to compromise if you are to meet couples to play with.The odds of meeting a couple that completely ticks all your boxes and to whom you tick all theirs is pretty low. In most cases, if you get along well socially and they aren't completely and utterly horrible physically, then I think that's a couple worth playing with :) Sometimes sexual attraction kicks in after the first date too.If you're not too worried about the lack of couple/couple meets, then I guess it's not a problem but if it is, then you might need to consider get-togethers with maybe 2 or 3 other couples so you can mix and match partners as required :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Just wondering if any one has the same problems as us when it comes to single guys, we try to organise play meets with single guys on here for the wife, but they are unwilling to meet unless the husband is away or at work, where is the fairness in that.We only invite guys looking for couples to experience MMF, yet we have been stood up 20 out of 24 times from guys promising the world, then, nothing, no contact.Is this just a respect thing from these guys, or are they just playing us and wasting our time.Also over here in Perth there seems to be a lot of couples only interested in the bi stuff, we are both straight and seems to have severely limited our opportunities.Fun_2_gether
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Fun_2_gether'Just wondering if any one has the same problems as us when it comes to single guys, we try to organise play meets with single guys on here for the wife, but they are unwilling to meet unless the husband is away or at work, where is the fairness in that. We only invite guys looking for couples to experience MMF, yet we have been stood up 20 out of 24 times from guys promising the world, then, nothing, no contact. Is this just a respect thing from these guys, or are they just playing us and wasting our time. Also over here in Perth there seems to be a lot of couples only interested in the bi stuff, we are both straight and seems to have severely limited our opportunities. Fun_2_getherseriously think we are crossing paths with the same guys....its pretty standard...we end up with a last minute cancellation, time and time again.....the latest one was a guy who swore black n blue he was single, gave us land lines to call, did all the right things and had us feeling confident in our choice.....only to have him call us 20 minutes out from our arranged meet, to cancel, saying he was having an argument with the wife he swore he didnt have..............lol...his loss...we organised and alternate and had an incredible night...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting Fun_2_getherJust wondering if any one has the same problems as us when it comes to single guys, we try to organise play meets with single guys on here for the wife, but they are unwilling to meet unless the husband is away or at work, where is the fairness in that.We only invite guys looking for couples to experience MMF, yet we have been stood up 20 out of 24 times from guys promising the world, then, nothing, no contact.Is this just a respect thing from these guys, or are they just playing us and wasting our time.Also over here in Perth there seems to be a lot of couples only interested in the bi stuff, we are both straight and seems to have severely limited our opportunities.Fun_2_gether I have heard this before from many ppl about the guys in perth All Talk and no B**** Its not just for you couples as well i have heard quite a few girls comment about being messed around by them too Before you all start thing i'm after the guys as well, sorry not that way inclined. Beau
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RHP User
14 years ago
Jane has had a reasonably good run with guys that turn up for the first coffee meet. I think out of about 40 or so guys that were initially invited to separate coffee meets She has had just one no show.I think its the same for couples. We have met about the same number and only one didn't turn up. With that particular couple We had a feeling something was suspect. So we just picked a place we wanted to have lunch at anyhow. If they turned up it was a bonus. Now days Jane has found a regular male play mate that she is content with and we know he is always goign to turn up. I guess its the same deal for him. We trust him enough to let him join us from time to time when have our regular female friends over to.This is ideally what we wanted after finding a little more difficult to meet couples that both Jane and I had a attraction to. This way can create our own couple when we want a 4som with singles.We also find when you do actually play with two singles in a 4som everyone tends to get more involved as a group. Jane and myself feel like we can mix it up a lot more with a less hesitation. With a couple your always paying consideration to the other party's relationship and how they might feel as a couple with what your about to do.This could be different with a couple you had been play with with for some time.We much prefer a small select group of regular playmates now.It just makes getting together so much easier. We know everyone is comfortable together .Tim
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hey Fun 2 together, You two take charge and do not comprimise on what you both want. Screen harder. We have never had a "No Show" with a extra guy MFM, or a couple MFMF when play was confirmed to happen but then we dont subscribe "to going with the flow" we are meeting to play! Plus we dont care if guys are married..."thats their business not ours"
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RHP User
14 years ago
Can't understand why a guy would be put off to meet both of you Fun_2_gether, personally I'd prefer to meet both as it generally puts both of you at ease You don't have to worry that your wife is meeting an axe murderer and you can both decide if you're happy with the situation......and if things kick off it is a lot more fun playing when there is more than 2 people!!:))
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RHP User
14 years ago
To quote Jane: Like most girls on here Jane is spoiled for choice when it comes to finding single guys. The odds around here are well in her favour. It certainly does seem that way. Also more women seem to resist being exclusive. Does this ean that there arefewer women on here or perpaps guys are less open?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Well I was saying before we have been leaning towards creating our own couple's from a few of our single playmates.That way you get a couple that we both like.This weekend we were doing just that. Jane invited her favourite regular single male playmate over. We have played together as a 3some many times and its always been great. We also invited one of our single female friends over to make it a 4some. No one was getting a raw deal and it made for a great night. Creating our own couple in a way.There was a twist to the night. Inviting to singles who share some similar quality's and perhaps have a lot in common. There is always the potential that you are playing match maker for the two singles. This happened on friday night where Jane's males play friend sent us a text after the night. Asking how we felt about giving him our fem friends phone number to contact them as a single.This could be taken in a number of ways. Jane being a girl it got her mind going that's for sure lol.I just contacted the single fem and asked her if she wanted him to have her number first. When she said she was ok with that . We then send a text to Jane's male friend with her number. This could ether be a good thing or a bad thing. One it could be great if they do get together and hit it off. We would have a real couple that we both like. Or two it could water down what Jane had going with this guy as a single.The girl did send us a text saying she wants to play with as as a 3some or with other single males.So now I am not sure if I should introduce Jane's male friend to any more of our single females LOL Dam single studs steeling them away LOL. Honestly I try and see the positive side of all things and being selfish or greedy isn't me. Sharing is what this is all about.Jane seems to think he will most likely not be interested in her any more and thinks its watered down some of her interest in him. Will be interesting to see how it pans out.Tim
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RHP User
14 years ago
i have often joined up with a single girl also on here that i have known for many years and done the couple thing.. We found that there women are often rather attractive and the guys are notwhat she finds attractive. But we have only done that a hand full of times
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RHP User
14 years ago
This is an interesting discussion.I'm wondering, what is it that makes the guy attractive or non-attractive?I noticed a few comments about "not taking care of himself" -- does that mean not being toned enough, not enough muscles, bad teeth, etc?What about things a guy is born with and can't control, like height? Are those things also important?To describe myself - I have a nice face, but I'm average-height and very lean. I'm sure a lot of women prefer a taller and more masculine look. This isn't entirely under my control.Any thoughts?
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