M44
Cheesy pick up lines
November 27 2016
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
"Are you a little girl here all by herself? Daddy needs to get his rocks off" because if the reply is: "You really are quite the cupid aren't you? I tell you, you can sink your arrow into my buttocks any time" That'd make my banana stand (and there's money in that!), the only reply could be: "Marry me!" (or "I bet you'd love a banger in the mouth") We'd sail to Cabo on a motor yacht, have hot ham water and teach each other the ways of the secular flesh Do you think that would be a terrible mistake? (But if her name happens to be Kitty, jackpot... or rather "SPRING BREAK!!!")
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RHP User
9 years ago
You up past your bedtime again 💤 Clearly I am. Actually, you might be just getting up and I haven't been to sleep yet 😎 Cheesy pick up lines. I have to hold back sometimes, what I want to say while I'm dribbling 😁 can be embarrassing Anyway, just an example of my literary genius when not thinking straight. These are actual messages from my sent box - keep in mind the brain hasn't actually engaged at this point. One hand on the keyboard, the other one somewhere else 😊 and strangely, I sound like I need a decent meal, like they're going to be my next meal 😛 1. Omg Can I have some of that? 2. *my phone number* 3. mmm God I could eat you for breakfast 4. Omg you look hot yum 5. Hey sexy, watya doin - I kid you not, that was my first message lol 6. God I could swallow you in one gulp 7. So how old are you really? - that one rarely gets a positive result 😁 8. Fair warning, I haven't had my coffee 9. Hey, nice arms 10. Omg my pussy just reacted 11. Omg fuck yeah 12. Holy shit a body like that should never be left alone 13. God I can't afford to travel, but if I could *insert some food related text, swallow, gulp etc* 14. Hmm.....just found an unread one, back in June last year 😀 15. Hey 16. Hi 17. Nice 💃
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RHP User
9 years ago
Let's play armies 😂😂😂 my version of that would be them letting me worship and touch and kiss their arms for an extended period of time mmm I do love armies 😀
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RHP User
9 years ago
Wow! I like your jeans. They would look great, crumpled up at the end of my bed.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' You up past your bedtime again 💤 Clearly I am. Actually, you might be just getting up and I haven't been to sleep yet 😎 haha, no, I was still up (phwoar ;) ) I tend to keep odd hours. Those won't make any sense unless you watch a certain TV show, but for an AD fan... guaranteed panty droppers... well, it'd work on me. Someone says anustart, I say anyong.
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RHP User
9 years ago
* You should get pet insurance....because your pussy is getting destroyed on Friday * I'll have a cocktail....hold the tail * Oh I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you over the imaginary sex I was having with you in my head * I know why they call it a Beaver....because I'm dying for some wood * Lets play Titanic. You be the ocean and I'll go down on you * You look like a hard worker....I have an opening you can fill * I don't feel so good....I think I need a shot of Penis-illin * Girl you should sell hotdogs....because you already know how to make a Weiner stand * I'm no weatherman....but you can be expecting about six inches tonight * Is my vagina crying? Or are you just sexy?
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RHP User
9 years ago
"When you walked past me it was just like a scene out of Toy Story... First I got a buzz, and then I got a Woody" The person that said that to me that particular night, (with a completely straight face) was kinda off the mark. We ended up playing Toy Story 2 - Jessie got to ride Bullseye... Yeeehaaaw! :D - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
how much does a polar bear weigh? enough to break the ice. Do you have a shovel? because im digging that ass do you know how many planets are in the solar system? 7 after I destroy Uranus Good thing I brought my Library card because i'm checking you out did I ever tell you i was raised on a chicken farm? well i was and I sure know how to raise a cock ;) If you were a washing machine I'd put my dirty load in you Is that a keg in your pants, cause I want to tap that ass... Are you a termite? Because your about to get a mouth full of wood.
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RHP User
9 years ago
...yes, that's me. 😎 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Buy me a drink ?
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RHP User
9 years ago
So many good lines there. Especially the Uranus one 😂😂😂 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Me: *sends dick pic* :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I promise I'll respect you in the morning Oh and if it's true we are what we eat, I could be you by morning 😜
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RHP User
9 years ago
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you fuck me? 😎
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RHP User
9 years ago
♡ Are you into casual sex...or should I dress up?Do you believe in Karma? Cos i know the best karma sutra poistionsAre you a Pokemon? Cos i'd like to Pikatchu!You look exactly like my future ex-wifeAside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
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RHP User
9 years ago
You have the loveliest body I ever want to come across ;)
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andyrabbit
9 years ago
What time do they open.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Excuse me but do you have a spare fuck on you? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'centralcoast16' Excuse me but do you have a spare fuck on you? A: nope, sorry I just don't give a fuck. Q: barter?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Nope sorry. I'm all out of fucks to give?
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RHP User
9 years ago
A message on a dating site: 'Girl, you're clearly missing out on your daily dose of Vitamin ME' And, and I'm embarrassed to admit, from a real, live actual first meet: He: What do you think this shirt is made of? Me: Polyester cotton blend?He: Boyfriend material. I'm so ashamed.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Your giving me a hard on a dingo couldn't chew through... Have you got clean hands? Well hold this Lets go chew the fat... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'PepperRose' A message on a dating site: 'Girl, you're clearly missing out on your daily dose of Vitamin ME' And, and I'm embarrassed to admit, from a real, live actual first meet: He: What do you think this shirt is made of? Me: Polyester cotton blend?He: Boyfriend material. I'm so ashamed. oh was there a sharp putdown following? "I don't think that shirt matches with ... you"? "Looks a bit cheap and clingy"? Any message that starts out with a superfluous "Girl" and isn't a direct quote of something else, just deserves to be trashed, immediately. Quoting 'SoftandCurious' isn't the response Nope sorry. I'm all out of fucks to give? none to give - how about layaway? ;) excellent, I'll stay here, you lay awayyyyyy over there They're different. Yours says you've run out of complimentary fucks to just give away, mine says I don't give fucks for free. I'm a whore, you're a slut ;-)
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RHP User
9 years ago
You've made me reconsider.....because I'm definitely a whore. Must change my future responses 😛
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'SoftandCurious' You've made me reconsider.....because I'm definitely a whore. Must change my future responses 😛 I'm glad I can be of assistance, just think of me as a life coach :p
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RHP User
9 years ago
Haha the last two were good responses 😃
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