Am i open enough

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I reckon you can't help the way you feel, does he get to go the distance with other women? For most couples its kissing that is the no go zone.Cheers Nev

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  You can't help the way you think and feel. It would be wrong to deny your thoughts and feelings :) xo

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I wouldn't say it is wrong... but maybe you do recognise that it's possessive. The fact is that you've already won his affections... perhaps you just haven't got used to that yet. :)HugsS

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I do understand this completely. I would be the same. In fact I would not share at all. I dont think it has much to do with a trust issue or a confidence thing. more along the lines of...... l "Hmmm that is MY toy and I dont share my toys.......Back away from the penis....." It has something to do with intimacy. That is the last intimate barrier.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  The terms and conditions of your open relationship are unique to you both. They need to be negotiated between you both to acheive your needs and wants in the relationship. . As Nev says, for many, it's kissing that presents the problem, however it is different for everyone and your own personal boundaries should not be judged as being right or wrong. It isn't always as simple as black and white. . And as Stalky points out, insecurities may well be at play here and you should try to identify what they are, why they exist and work through them with your partner for your own benefit and that of your relationship, irrespective of other partners. . In order for you both to be able to maximise and enjoy your experiences with others, you both need to feel comfortable and respectful of each other's "grey areas". . Flirty x

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  You have them, you make them, you set them and you abide by them ................ always as a couple!Simply put, you have your feelings and your partner has his, you discuss the 'will do' and the 'will not do' and base rules and guidelines around them. Then you ensure that you both abide by these rules/guidelines until such time as you as a couple decide to change rules etc.But, out of respect for your play partners you need to ensure that they are also fully aware of your rules before meeting to play (and perhaps even, before meeting) as you do not want to be placed in a position where your visitors have an expectation that breaks your rules.Now, are you not 'open' enough - that is for you to determine as it is an individual situation. Do you feel open enough within yourself (and be selfish with your assessment here)?Shell and Gaz

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  same with my wife....even though I am happy to let her mix. rather have her happy and satisfied than plain jealous. james and ai, lara

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Well im ok with the kissing part thats not the problem i dont mind him pleasing other females anyway he want but just not with his dick. I think seeing him having sex with another female is something i dont think i could watch him doing that, i dont know what it is . Like when we are going out to a swingers club i think about it and its ok, but when w get there its a different story. He lets me do what i want to who ever i want when we are togeather which is great. I have even rung him when i have been at the local pub and asked if i could bring a guy home for a threesome and he was all for it,,,,, and might i add what a night that was,, mmmmmm. Damn that guy had more head jobs in that night than he's proberbly had all year,, hee hee i have spoken to some friends and they said when it comes time to do the deed as they call, let him go to another room. But i really think that it would'nt make much difference because i know what he is doing in there.....mmmmmm Whats a girl to do.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I think that'd be worse, actually. If it gets to the point where it's not working for you as a couple then that's when you should address the issue, not before.It's your relationship, and in a matter of speaking, it's YOUR penis (collectively, as a couple) and it's up to you, the couple, to decide what to share and that should be decided by what turns you on.If it works for you as a couple then don't change it even if it's not what everyone else is doing. Even in a club, they get to decide for themselves, based on what turns them on.Individual choice is a beautiful thing when left to the individuals themselves.xx Sarah

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  SO like life we should be able to put boundaries in place with our partners without others judging the what how who of our decisions making. Devinely we are all different , if that is your rule and you and your partner can happily play like that then who are any of us to judge ? Oh and Chilli regarding the whole Kissing thing .......... tis a funny world out there. We once played with a lovely young girl as part of a couple she was very involved in play and probably on reflection was the instigator , so was very into it. At times I will and wont have sex with the sassy young thing we are playing with hmmmmm why ? Sometimes I just like to watch ! Miss Sexy pants after a while said to me , "oh you can fuck me if you want" I didnt really, not that she wasnt attractive. I am SURE in fact I know boys line up for a chance! I just was watching again ......... What I couldnt work out was she would not .....no matter where I put "it" .......in what position ......Suck my dick ........ Long story short she told us latter "oh I dont suck dicks, I find it too intimate" ................ her call and perfectly fine by me (oh and hello you I am sure your reading this lol)So I say each to there own do what works for you , have fun. Brae .......... I wonder is the whole light coloured small text thing a subliminal advert thing .......... should we not notice it ? Is it being rude reading it ?

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I don't have a problem with kissing, I really enjoy it and really gets the passion fires burning, its a really integral part of sex for me (can you use "really" that many times in one sentence...hehehe). Alas some couples won't and thats a bummer...Come on you couples fess up and tell us why!Cheers Nev....Really!

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Thats all fine, Lots of couples swap for foreplay only. Think your rules should be for both. Its great you are upfront about it and specify that in your profile.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Mr cns here how are you all going, i have been going over all of your replys with a fine tooth comb. Well i think for us kissing is all part of it missus cns loves the kissing part alot i have seen her tonsil hockey with one guy she brought home and i think she needs that part of it to make that sexual connection. The bounderies that she has set for me i 100% follow for me i dont really worry about me not having intercourse with the female because i know that i give as much if not more pleasure with my tongue. I know alot of guys say this on here but we joined not for the total intention of mr being with other females, we joined because i love the thought of missus cns being with other poeple. I dont care about what other poeple may think of that comment because we know the reason and thats good enough for us. Like one time we went to a swingers club in sydney we met a girl there and we played with her for a while it took miss cns three times to ask me to join in before i did and then i only went down on her and that was it i had no intention of trying to throw my dick in her. When we have went it's been me who has asked other guys to go in and pleasure my beautifull partner, see in our relationship it's me that get all the pleasure from seeing her giving pleasure to other and them giving pleasure to her.Infact i would rather sit back with a drink and a smoke and watch her go for her life, and yes im going to say this the reason why i like it that way is because ( she has a high sex drive and there is no way i can keep up with her ) and no im not ashamed to addmit it. She is a total sex demon in bed and i want her to have all the pleasure she can take and then more. Now i know alot of females and the male partners of females say they are the best at giving oral,but when i see guys curling there toes and trying to crawl away from her when she is giving the head it turns me on, i have had alot of oral given to me over the years but hands down and by far miss cns is the best ever and thats a fact that im proud of. Now you can call me a dickhead and all that shit but i feel that other males and females should feel the pleasure she has to offer. thanks alot guys for your comments Mr cns....

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Very simply...feelings are never right or wrong, they are your feelings. They are your own unique emotional repsonse to the world around you and the people in it...and possibly even balanced by the logice of your past experiences and/or those of others. Embrace them...and if you are fortunate enough to have a partner that would understand your feelings, discuss them. It is not your responsibility to change how you truly feel for or about any one or any thing in any given situation...and this too may vary. | It is simply called...being human. | | What kind of a moron started in with this stuff down here? It is fun though.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  No it isn't wrong but I am sure a rule like that will limit the amount of playmates you get. But as you know you have to feel totally comfortable with the situation or it can be pretty miserable. The first couple that I met up with had this rule but I didn't realise this till I got naked with them. I was pretty green then and didn't even realise I should have asked that question before I met up with them. So for me it is a deal breaker... no full sex for me means no sex for you. But that is just my personal preference. xxMeeka

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'Meeka100' No it isn't wrong but I am sure a rule like that will limit the amount of playmates you get. But as you know you have to feel totally comfortable with the situation or it can be pretty miserable. The first couple that I met up with had this rule but I didn't realise this till I got naked with them. I was pretty green then and didn't even realise I should have asked that question before I met up with them. So for me it is a deal breaker... no full sex for me means no sex for you. But that is just my personal preference. xxMeeka Wow Meeka we agree with you, they are upfront and say swap partners for forplay only and that would be the rules of play with cns....not for us either.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I have read your OP and subsequent posts...I have read your profile and while it does say swap foreplay only in the sexual interests area it also has a host of penetrative activities there too...the body of your profile does not mention he isnt allowed to indulge in penetration with any other women (infact you want pure hot and horny adult fun and to do what nature put us here to do and of course no singles to message you)...you have brought home other men for threesomes...have had another woman (which MrCNS has said he only indulged in oral with - I am not casting suspicion on his honesty just restating what has been said) ...I read this as its ok for Mrs CNS to have penetratove sex with whom ever she please but not MrCNS...this is just hypocritical to me...sure MrCNS has come out and explained their reasons for it (and good for hm) but I just dont feel that it is very fair at all...if you are in a partnership and if you only want couples to play with shouldnt what is good for one should be good for the other???? , Kisses Focus

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'cnsfelswat' i know that i give as much if not more pleasure with my tongue. For some of us, the tongue is never going to be enough unless it is followed by insertion. It seems as if an orgasm is not complete without that in out action and a vibrator or dildo just wont do it. Some need just that little more or we may as well do the deed ourselves.

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