M45
Second Message -yay or nay
August 03 2021
First time caller, longtime listener (actually pretty new to this). My queries are more towards the women and couples.
So I think it’s safe to say that, proportionally, women and couples receive a great deal more messages than the men folk. With messages being unanswerable after 7 days (maybe that’s just for guests though…) what’s the etiquette on sending another message say a month or two later, assuming I reviewed my profile?
Do nice messages get drowned out in the torrent of trash? And if I’m not spamming copy/paste or “wanna fuck” messages would I still be looked at as harassing if I threw my hat in the ring a second time?
The absence of a reply in most cases makes it all a bit ambivalent. It’s a smallish community and I don’t want to be seen as a pest.
Comments
sheandhe
3 years ago
I don't think nice messages get drowned out, more the sheer number of accounts, personality traits etc you will find on sites like this means you have some natural filtering happening from the off. We (couple) have sent 'nice' messages to others and had them ignored. We have also sent follow up messages after a while which also get ignored. For us, that's cool as it's one less profile to interact with and helps us narrow down who we're looking for. nice message or not, you're going to get ignored and it could simply be down to the fact someone;'s circumstances have changed and they are no longer regularly active here or with their profile info.
We have found that most times, a well meaning message and a clear profile helps us gain a response, yet that;'s just the first step. Multiple conversations fall away when it's clear there is not a connection or where us and them are not actually on the same page or looking for the same thing. My advice is, by all means send a follow up message, people are busy and just may not have had time to reply. Be respectful with your messages and do not expect anything in return. If something comes of message 1 or 2, that's a good thing. Be honest in your communications and you will find those you want to attract will respond.....eventually.
SJF48
3 years ago
Doesn’t hurt to try, your msg may have been missed or someone not really looking at that time. Worst case it will get ignored 🤷🏽♀️ Just my thoughts
FeistyFatty
3 years ago
For me personally, I'd prefer that member didn't send me a second message if I haven't responded to the first. No response is a response.
GMan3220
3 years ago
Thank you all, I’m really appreciative of the answers. Definitely some food for thought and thanks for the time taken to respond. It’s good to get some pointers on this sort of thing as you navigate through. Much obliged.
RHP User
3 years ago
If I'm not interested, the message is deleted. If I'm mulling it over for whatever reason I will leave it there for later. I wouldn't object to a second message, assuming the first was still pending... If that makes sense 🤪
RHP User
3 years ago
Dude….
Send a message…wait…if it exceeds a week you leave it…they had their opportunity, and if they were honestly looking they’d have been reading their messages….
Maybe they’re busy with life?? Maybe they’re just not wanting to meet people?? Maybe they’re just on a downer after having too many disappointing experiences?? Who knows….
And quite frankly who gives a shit? It’s nothing to do with you and it’s everything to do with them…so it’s their responsibility….by leaving another message, and another message(or however many messages you wish to use an example, be it 1 or 15+) you just look like someone with very little options….
Send 1 message, then forget it…you e lost nothing if they don’t reply as you never had it when you sent the message….so that leaves you’ve just not gained anything by them not replying …. So why worry about something you’ve not had in order to lose?
MsSuperFoxy
3 years ago
It's up to you decide what to do, You have two choice. To send or not.
It's up to the receiver what they decide to do with the message.
Everyone is different.
Ms FoxyGMan3220
3 years ago
See this is the thing, none of my messages get deleted by the receiver. I just assumed that was across the board. And just to confirm they’ll get a thumb print if they’ve been read?
I appreciate the words of wisdom Antichrist, I will confess I completely misread what you wrote first time through but on reflection you’re just passing on a respect for self that is important to remember.
I kinda like all you guys.GMan3220
3 years ago
And thanks Foxxy and Jane
RHP User
3 years ago
@Gman3220…We’re new to this too and I’d think a polite thanks but no thanks is better than no reply at all. Especially if it’s nice and not sleazy/trashy.
I realise some people can get inundated but I do believe there is an option to say you’re not accepting any new messages, then at least people would know.
No harm in trying a 2nd message, especially if the first is unread 🤷🏼♀️
If people aren’t intending to respond to any messages for whatever reason it would be easier if it was stated in their profiles.
Just my thoughts.RHP User
3 years ago
I have my messages set to default so I only get notifications to matching profiles. Eg:i n the age frame that I have requested, of non smokers or single only. So I will only see the other messages if I go searching for them in my inbox. I think many ppl do this. It saves having to reply to the boys who message regardless, even though my profile says Im not interested in youngin's. So its culling the messages for me.
Could this be why you arent having some messages read?GMan3220
3 years ago
Hi Willow, I’ve checked, I don’t believe that’s an issue and I’m pretty conscious of not messaging outside of preferences. It’s all good, we’re discussing a hypothetical. I’m a curious creature and it just seemed a likely future scenario.
I think I get it now and I’ve got a better idea of how it works.
In think I’ll take the Antichrists advice for now and see what happens, its less than two weeks so early days and I’m still trying to figure out how it all works. It’s a journey not a race…
Cheers Gman.RHP User
3 years ago
If she reads it and doesn’t reply , that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s not interested …she’s probably getting absolutely smashed messages the same as yours at the same time…..
Leave it a couple of days and wait to you see that she’s online and send her a message if she reads it and doesn’t reply, it’s a no. Twice is enough….feel free to pay attention to the regulars on here ,they know everything there is to know about everything.
sweetnsensual
3 years ago
For us we try and answer all messages we recieve and we do appreciate a well thought out polite message. As for the time lag. We have missed messages and replied up to a month later and just explain why there was a delay. We dont get a lot of messages from single guys but if we recieved a late message that was polite and gave a reason we would understand.
RHP User
3 years ago
The absence of reply in most cases is a no, but not all cases and especially with guests they may have just run out of time to reply, I don’t even get to read some messages within 7 days...so sure give it another crack (lol) but don’t try a third time and of course don’t take it personally if there’s still no reply.
countrytouch82
3 years ago
I'm not sure how it is now with the amended system from the last RHP update, as to whether you can read messages "invisibly".
The current system seems to be more reliable and shows a thumbnail if a message is read.
I consider a "no reply" to be a reply, IF the message has been read and/or your profile has been viewed. (In which case I won't likely send a second message). If either hasn't occurred, then the above advice is about as useful as applying it to messages sent in a bottle and thrown out to sea, i.e. noone's replied to any of my messages in the bottles, so I guess they must not be interested :p
[Cue relevant song lyrics]
ElectricDreamers
3 years ago
1 more - months later is ok. We've had life get in the way before.
But whatever you do - don't send a 3rd...RHP User
3 years ago
I have got caught in running out of time to reply, some times life just gets in the way and I'm not on for weeks.
Sometimes timing isn't right and as a guest im relying on others to message me first.
I would not see it as being rude if the 2nd message is polite and approached in a understanding manner. All messages should be like this anyway haha😆.
I try to reply to everyone, even with a thanks but no thanks. Unless the message is just 'Hi' and the profile is missing info and pictures then I just ignore... seriously, why should I make the effort if you dont? 🤣
ozmelbcpl4cpl2
3 years ago
To the people who feel no response is a response.
Is a hungry person given no food called food .Good god almighty..RHP User
2 years ago
Hi, just joined today, spent several hours looking thru the forum and reading this topic i can only say that if i send a message to someone and i get no reply then time to move on, i give it a shot, and don't take it personally, but i think that if i got a message from someone then i would at least give a polite answer, that's just the way i am.
Boards
Forum help
Something related with that
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
report