teamaj2

teamaj2

M42 F62

Polite refusal

September 19 2021

I know these type of posts have been up many times .
I don’t know about other people but we have found most people very friendly and gracious on RHP. When sending our PG we always acknowledge the fact that’s it’s okay to say no thank you . Attraction is personal . Not everyone will be attracted to everyone, no offence taken . For whatever reason , communication or picture wise it’s sometimes sadly a no thank you .
We’ve been here two or so years and met some great people here . Today was the first time we got the abusive disgruntled message in response to thanks but no thanks .
We are a committed couple but we are two individuals, what we find attractive will differ . Not wanting to lead anyone on, we cease conversation with no thank you and wish them well .
I don’t expect a barrage of abuse . You might say , we dodged that bullet .
Is there a polite way to say no thank you ? Rejection, isn’t the easiest pill to swallow but we aren’t into wasting anyone’s time .
Multiple looks at a profile and time between messaging back is because we are a two person ‘team ‘ and two people make the decisions on whom we continue to chat to etc etc
I know the block function serves a purpose in these cases and we have implemented this .
Abusive messages leave me ( F) feeling uneasy . My husband thinks it’s all okay and move on . I’m never rude , so I find it unnecessary to rebuff with abuse when rejected . What would’ve happened if we met up and we said a polite - nice to meet you but no thanks ?
Ax

Comments

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    3 years ago

    It’s never ok to be abusive or abused and it is very disheartening to hear this recurring theme.
    I’ve had more than my fair share of rejection but I’ve never felt in anyway inclined to be abusive.

  • Rising_Phoenix

    Rising_Phoenix

    3 years ago

    Every time this happens I feel the same way, I don’t think you get used to it and I for one at aye ok with you coming here to vent about it. It is upsetting and I’m sorry it happened to you.

    It’s hard to know how to handle it, I’ll tell people no, we’re not a match, they continue to try, I tell them why we’re not a match and they either try to act like they’re the one rejecting me or they get nasty. It does my bloody head in, they don’t seem to care that they’re ruining things for themselves and others on the site.

    I was rude to one recently because he sent a dick pick after I’d already declined the offer. Told him he seems like the rapey type. I’m just so over it, also men saying things like “pity I can’t be there with you right now” or “I’ll come to you” when absolutely nothing has been offered and we’ve hardly spoken is just offensive.
    For the millionth time we are not free prostitutes and it’s not nice to abuse people at all, let alone when you’re trying to get a root out of them!

  • funtimescouple1

    funtimescouple1

    3 years ago

    Sounds like entitled keyboard warriors. No one is entitled to anything on here from anyone else. Consent is everything. Take pride that you do the right thing. Yes definitely block anyone who is abusive and if it was particularly bad do others a favour and report them.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    3 years ago

    It's better you found out about the behaviour earlier then in person. I think the best and cleanest way is to be direct. Just a simple "Thank you for you interest, but I (or we) not interested in pursuing this further but thank you for the interest & best of luck!"

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    3 years ago

    I've had the abusive response but overall, having a very limited audience appeal, l can't say I've had a negative time on rhp. Quite the contrary.
    The functions I've attended, the rhp crew have nothing short of amazing and always respectful.
    The single guys(or married....) that have shown disrespect aren't the types to attend our functions and really only up for the quick meet and load dump so I didn't miss anything.
    Never a regret being on here and I'm sure OP, you would feel the same.
    You can't please everyone so onward we go.
    Annie x
    .

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    3 years ago

    @teamaj2 We found it important to put in our profile that we won’t be offended if people say no and we’d hope they won’t be either. We haven’t had any problems so far, but like you I (F) it hard to say thanks but no thanks but have done it a few times with no hard feelings. We all need to realise that attraction is 100% important for most people.
    I’m sorry you have been abused…but it sounds like you dodged a bullet. It’s a red flag for sure. Don’t ever stop staying thanks but no thanks if it doesn’t feel right, we can’t be responsible for how others react, they can own that shitty behaviour.

  • RHP User

    RHP User

    3 years ago

    Rejection is merely a pointer onto a path of higher discovery. Nobody likes their time wasted, so I don’t really understand why rejection hurts some people as much as it does.

  • Doublevelvet

    Doublevelvet

    3 years ago

    That's despicable. There's no reason to be rude. No means no and not all will gel. But not making a comment when one gets a face picture and feel there's no atraction is also in very poor taste. Specially when there was a converstion going on. Very disappointing