January’s Yes Ma’am party: Explained!

I posted this in my Social Media, to promote our January Yes Ma’am Party, our next party is Friday 22rd of March at Our Secret Spot!


Today is my 39th birthday, and tomorrow night I co-host ‘Yes Ma’am’ and it honesty feel like the beginning of a very good new chapter. It feels like I’ve come full circle.

What is ‘Yes Ma’am’ Party?

Yes Ma’am is kind of a dream come true, now I know that sounds like a typical thing for a party organiser to say but let me explain my position. To do that we need to look at a bit of my history.

I only really discovered kink in my 30’s, but swinging was not completely new to me. My first few experiences with swinging was as a single girl in my early 20’s living in London.

Now the number one thing that I noticed about parties was it was a male alpha driven environment and a girl like me was always pushing the limits of that. I wished you saw as many guys eating pussy as you saw girls sucking cock. I wanted to see the ladies getting a bit more bossy and demanding about their sexual desires rather then just playing out the fantasies of their partners. I guess my dominant side was starting to come through, I just didn’t know it.

Now I’m a lady who’s alway loved sex and I will probably love it till the day I die. I like talking about it, thinking about it and having sex. I feel like being a sexual human being is important to being balanced and happy person, complete both in mind and body. For me kink and finding my dominant side was the missing piece. Finding it I felt complete.

After coming home from London, I met my amazing husband David and spent three of the most wonderful years grabbing life by the balls, travelling, laughing, eating, camping, high as a kite and fucking like rabbits. Those were good times, and they lead to many incredible life experiences together including having a beautiful family and the responsibilities that come with it.

Now let’s jump ahead to 2015, now don’t let me deceive you, my sexual life was full and wonderful, I’d experienced the amazing joys of sex with lots of delicious partners and I’d spent the last 9 years happily married to an extremely sexual guy, but that year I was longing for women. After months of consideration I told the love of my life I wanted to invite so female to get intimate with us. After assuring him that it was not a trick, it was my hubby who suggested we try swinging.

I had attended party as a single girl, who was young and skinny, the thought of attended as a 35 year old, mummy belly and all, was very intimidating. I recalled the alpha male environment and I wasn’t sure how it was going to go for me. I was concerned that no one would want to play with me, or if they did they wouldn’t want to play the way I want.

As only a woman like me would do, I said we need a party where girls are in control. Bare in mind at this point i was brand new to the lifestyle and to the community. Not only had I not been to a party of this nature in sydney but I also had absolutely no party planning experience or contacts. But I did have a dream. Now I knew I couldn’t be the only person who would enjoy this party. So I took to the internet and created the concept ‘Girls on top’ Party.

My hubby and I decided to posted some ads about it to see if there was any interest. At this point I don’t even think I had a fetlife account yet, believe it not, I still had not found my kinky side, even though I was trying to plan a girls in charge party.

Our ads got heaps of replies from couples, and men but most importantly lots and lots of girls got in touch. I knew I was on to something. Our Secret Spot had just opened, and they seemed passionate and they were just starting to build a name, and quite frankly, they were the only venue i had heard of at the time.

I got in touch, I have no idea if they remember or not, But that was the start of our swinging life. They said to come to the club. That was our first swinging party/club experience.

Now unfortunately the party I was planning didn’t come to be. We decided to try a few more parties before we planed our own. It was around this time that the wonderful world of kink and fetishes was brought to my attention and that was the real game changer. I discovered I was a domme and that I probably always have been. I discovered I had a hardcore fetish for having people at my feet and that I like event planing and hosting.

Now finally fast forward to 2020, I’ve been an active member of the the Sydney Kinky Community, who attends lots of different events and who has been running Everybody Loves Feet for over a year. I embraced my kinky nature which has kind lead to an endless journey of self discovery. I also become good friends with Mistress Ava, another dominant woman who shares a lot of the same ideals as myself and also desperately wanted more spaces where women are on top. It was this friendship that give birth to ‘Yes Ma’am’!

This party has been in the back of my mind for years and I can’t believe it’s finally happening. I have been in numerous conversations at events. Conversations about how ridiculous it is for people to think dominant women don’t want sex. Now I’m not saying I want to fuck everyone I dominate because I don’t, but it would be a lie to say I’ve never wanted to fuck someone that was submitting to me. It was my sexual nature that lead me to discover my dominant side in the first place. On the other side of the coin I’ve spoken to many misguided people who are under the massive misconception that submissive men don’t want sex. Obviously there are exceptions but in my experience submissive guys and girls are just as sexual as most us!!

I’ve seen guys try submissive activities at swingers parties, and it normally not well received especially by their male peers. Many Swtches have expressed to me that there is a mob mentality, the parties tend to stick with the status quo where men are the alphas and it not comfortable to be a submissive male at a swingers party.So many parties go out of there was to make female sub feel comfortable enough to let go and feel safe to explore and both female sub and male dominants are expected to get sex. So why is the situation so different when we are taking about female Dommes and male subs?

Sex and kink doesn’t have to be so complicated. There is one more group I wanted to talk about, and this group is not about sub/dom, male or female. Sometimes it’s just sexy as fuck to have a beautiful and confident women tell you exactly what she wants in the bedroom and to satisfy her as she desires.

Yes Ma’am is a great opportunity for people (male, female or non binary) to try being topped by a woman, or for ladies to try being the top... but you don’t have to be a hardcore Dominant or submissive to enjoy the benefits of a female-run environment.

Anyway long story short, I’m excited to be finally putting on this party especially during my birthday weekend. I wanted to thank both Mistress Ava and Our Secret Spot for helping this dream come true. I think it’s so fitting to be holding the event at the venue I first contacted all those years ago.

My apologies for the long post, but I really wanted to share with you all what this party means to me. It’s a labour of love and I hope to see some of your lovely faces there tomorrow helping me celebrate ‘Girls On Top’ and my 39th birthday!

Yours Deviously Petra

- Posted from rhpmobile