The Expendables movie review

Ok, let’s just say this from the get go: if you walk into The Expendables expecting anything more than a cheesy stroll down memory lane then, one: you’ll be disappointed, two: you’re an idiot.

Sylvester Stallone is enjoying the biggest comeback since the ninja turtles, he’s reprised his roles in both Rocky and Rambo and now he’s throwing some of the good mojo to his old sparring partners from the glory days.

There are some awesome actors making comebacks of varying size in this film - we’re talking Jet Li, Bruce Willis, Eric Roberts, Dolph Lundgren, Jason Stratham, Mickey Rourke and one rather funny cameo from the Governator himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Now with a cast like this you can be reasonably sure of what you’re going to get and it you don’t expect anything more than your stock standard, up the guts, high octane, explosion filled action romp then you’ll be pleased. Actually many of you will be more than pleased because if you’re old enough to remember when Arnold Schwarzenegger was an actor and not a politician then this will bring back quite a few fond memories for you, and if you’re old enough to remember when Schwarzenegger was a bodybuilder and not an actor then this film will be positively romantic!

The plot’s pretty simple, some tough army types get dragged into a power struggle in some little country, there is of course a bad guy, and a pretty girl. Without giving too much away, all hell break loose, there’s much gunfire and fighting, and each crucial moment is emphasised by a humorous one liner... like if you kill someone with a surf board you say “surfs up, dickhead” – you get the picture.

Nobody embarrasses themselves and the narrative plays it safe enough that it never gets into too much trouble, so you spend much of the film marvelling at these old men, men that have still got enough grit to throw themselves about the place for our viewing pleasure.

You get the feeling a lot of the dialogue and even the premise and title of the film is a comment on how the actors perceive themselves in Hollywood these days - expendables, has-beens for hire. But if the success of this film is anything to go by they’ve all got one more shot at lining their super accounts... that said if we’re being honest, we’d all be a little disappointed if that money went on anything other than hookers and cocaine.