The male brain?!?
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The male brain?!?
What does it mean when a guy tells u ur exclusive with them, ur the one,love seeing and spending time with u,want to live with u then u find out there talking on rhp sexually,exchanging numbers,when each is free ect then u get a MSG to tell u he's got a girl coming round come join him. Help me understand the way guys think.
Men enjoy the sexiness of ‘connection’ as much as women. It feels good to be totally into someone and it can be quite intoxicating having them swoon into a pool of romantic emotional goo over you.
So naturally many guys like to feed these emotions by reflecting what you want to hear and wallowing in every last loved up ounce of your inner glow.
On one hand they may well be telling the truth.
In that moment, when he’s looking in your eyes, whispering sweet nothings in your ear and picking out names for your babies he may really, really mean it!
But in this state his brain is likely awash with powerful, addictive and often temporary mating chemicals. And just like any other ‘brain altering’ substance: alcohol, drugs etc, when they stop the cold hard light of day can seem just a little bit different.
Believe me it can be as big a surprise to the guy as the girl when he wakes up one day to discover the girl he had just cried in the arms of and pledged his undying love to has disappeared and been replaced by a flat mate or worse.
Of course mother nature plays her part in priming him to be so fickle...
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE
Ask a neuro-scientist and they will tell you that the areas of the brain responsible for love, bonding, nest building and commitment, are totally different to those responsible for sex.
So why do so many people find it so impossible to believe someone can be genuinely in love with one person and still want to have sex with someone else?
Biologically we are clearly hard wired to be able to do both... yes even at the same time!!
Whether we like to admit it or not, the myth that true love should permanently extinguish all outside sexual desires, has been responsible for the ruin of more great relationships than almost anything else.
Men in particular seek sex outside the relationship not only for its obvious pleasures but because it is literally the elixir of youth. It invigorates and revitalises what otherwise can add up to a pretty mundane existence.
It stimulates, adds novelty, boosts self esteem, stimulates endorphins, strokes ego, builds immune systems, enhances radiance... in short it makes life worth living.
So when a whole world of excitement, adventure, invigoration and pleasure sits waiting for us at the end of a hard, boring day on the other side of the computer screen, a better question might be ‘why wouldn’t someone want to explore it’.
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Aug, 20 2012
Absolutely 100% correct with the answer. (Male half here) I am totally committed and in love with Mrs Luvlust and we are in an open relationship. Sex with other people is just that and while my nature is to be intimate with other playmates my bonding with Mrs Luvlust could not be stronger, she understands the separation of love and sex as do I when she plays alone. Even if we are in different states and playing with another it feels like we are in each others presence. There are no secrets between us, we share a great 'hobby' and live life to the full. You are also spot on with playing being a youthful elixir, it gives us stamina, increases libido, it gives us drive to look after ourselves physically and the social bonding with others is unsurpassed. My advice to anyone is to explore this lifestyle but do it at a level you are comfortable with.
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