Men enjoy the sexiness of ‘connection’ as much as women. It feels good to be totally into someone and it can be quite intoxicating having them swoon into a pool of romantic emotional goo over you.

So naturally many guys like to feed these emotions by reflecting what you want to hear and wallowing in every last loved up ounce of your inner glow.

On one hand they may well be telling the truth.

In that moment, when he’s looking in your eyes, whispering sweet nothings in your ear and picking out names for your babies he may really, really mean it!

But in this state his brain is likely awash with powerful, addictive and often temporary mating chemicals. And just like any other ‘brain altering’ substance: alcohol, drugs etc, when they stop the cold hard light of day can seem just a little bit different.

Believe me it can be as big a surprise to the guy as the girl when he wakes up one day to discover the girl he had just cried in the arms of and pledged his undying love to has disappeared and been replaced by a flat mate or worse.

Of course mother nature plays her part in priming him to be so fickle...

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE
 
Ask a neuro-scientist and they will tell you that the areas of the brain responsible for love, bonding, nest building and commitment, are totally different to those responsible for sex.

So why do so many people find it so impossible to believe someone can be genuinely in love with one person and still want to have sex with someone else?

Biologically we are clearly hard wired to be able to do both... yes even at the same time!!

Whether we like to admit it or not, the myth that true love should permanently extinguish all outside sexual desires, has been responsible for the ruin of more great relationships than almost anything else.

Men in particular seek sex outside the relationship not only for its obvious pleasures but because it is literally the elixir of youth. It invigorates and revitalises what otherwise can add up to a pretty mundane existence.

It stimulates, adds novelty, boosts self esteem, stimulates endorphins, strokes ego, builds immune systems, enhances radiance... in short it makes life worth living.

So when a whole world of excitement, adventure, invigoration and pleasure sits waiting for us at the end of a hard, boring day on the other side of the computer screen, a better question might be ‘why wouldn’t someone want to explore it’.