Many men would sympathise with you! Swinging may sound utterly horny on paper but many people experience the same frustrations in practice. However, how many men can really perform adequately 100% of the time with a partner they don't really know that well, surrounded by spectators, after numerous glasses of wine AND while grappling with condoms and lube? Very few. You certainly don't perform under those same conditions with your own partner at home right? So who can blame you for not being able to switch it on like a light switch?

Your solutions? Let's get the easy things out of the way. If you're in the habit of boozing up before a session, then don't. We all know alcohol may help you all get into bed, but that's often about it. If you must have a tipple, chase it with water.

Also do your research with condoms and lube. Not all condoms are the same so try and find the brand that works best for you. Try a few sessions with a good quality condom with your own partner. If it's clear that condoms are your downfall (even with your own partner), keep experimenting.

If condoms aren't your problem, then it's likely that the problem is above your waistline. Try getting to know your couple friends better. You'll probably note a huge improvement sexually once you're better friends and expectations are removed. If you find other people a distraction in the bedroom, then see if your friends are open to separate room play for intercourse.

If all else fails, consider taking intercourse off your play menu, and find playmates who are seeking people to swap foreplay with only. Many couples find this very enjoyable also.

Finally, if intercourse is simply a must, you may wish to consider some medicinal help. Many men (younger & older) are opting for the miracle pills so it's certainly not an embarrassment. However, do consult your GP first and ensure that this option is medically right for you.