Make 2011 your best year yet!

So how did it go? Last year I mean. Did it work out anything like you expected? Did you do the things you said you were going to. Make the changes. Approach the people. Try the technique. Explore the fantasy or start the project?

Yes? No? Maybe? Well if you are anything like 99% of the population the answer is an uninspiring ‘ummmmm nope’!

So where are we all going wrong? It’s not like we haven’t been given enough new, New Years to get it right. It just seems that after the initial high of the season our most inspired plans wither away faster than a Vickers vice on a chilly morning.

Is this year going to be any different? Of course if you have no particular plans to have new experiences, more interesting sex, exciting new relationships or a more inspired life in general then it wouldn’t really matter.

However if you are like me and can’t stand the thought of looking back on one more year of same same, then I might have just the thing for you.

Fortunately enough of us have this problem that the men in white coats have waded in with some interesting research on the subject, and it turns out it’s the ‘wanting’ not the, ‘not getting’ that is actually the problem.

Sure if you are one of those annoyingly perky, to do list writing, ‘do it now’ types, like my beloved wife then ‘wanting’ becomes doing, and doing becomes having. Voila! Life is good!

But if like me, and a vast majority of the population, you are a procrastinator that exerts more energy actually avoiding doing the thing, than it would actually take you to do the thing, then ‘wanting’ just adds another log to the already toasty self fladulation fire.

So the solution? Stop wanting! - WHAT?

Yes I know this might sound counter intuitive but think back on your life. How many things have come to you when you let go of really wanting them.

Relationships are especially susceptible to this technique because of the natural energy flow between people.

Remember that admirer you didn’t even like until they stopped liking you, or that kinky thing your partner pestered you to do for ages then stopped. Suddenly you’re starting to wonder what it would be like, or that job you always wanted, that suddenly becomes available when you have already taken another one.

When we ‘want’ we create an equal negative force based around ‘I don’t have’. That thought comes with a history of unfulfilled experiences and emotions that effect how you behave, literally setting up emotional road blocks to your success.

If you have failed time and time again to push through these road blocks then scientists have shown that the quickest way to dissolve them is to try the opposite. Rather than pushing against them, feeling bad and making them even more real, embrace them and watch how quickly they dissolve.

The great news is it can also work just as well on vices! Let go of the mental tug of war, quit your internal judgments and watch what happens!

So why not make 2011 a year to stop wanting and start having. Give it a go. You may just be surprised.