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Single Guys Are Hard To Find??
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It’s not unusual to hear about couples finding it hard to meet single girls for FMF fun but it may come as a...
It’s not unusual to hear about couples finding it hard to meet single girls for FMF fun but it may come as a surprise to discover that some couples are similarly having no luck in hooking up with single guys for threesomes or gang bangs.
With a good number of eligible men on RedHotPie, it seems implausible that couples are being left high and dry: disillusioned that something so seemingly simple to organise falls through time and time again. We take a look at why this may be the case and look at how some of the many myths about single men may well be the reason why finding Mr Right isn’t so easy. We’ll also suggest ways to try and ensure the guy you chat up will front up.
Myth #1: Single men are everywhere
For every couple who has ever received unwanted attention from single men on RedHotPie, it would seem that they exist in plague proportions. In reality, when it comes time to actually finding one, it seems there really aren’t as many eligible men out there as once imagined. Indeed, by the time a couple makes a checklist of what they would like out of a single guy, the massive pool of horny dudes becomes a manageable pond. This still seems hopeful but as more time is put into getting to know these guys, the pond shrinks into a puddle.
Over a one month course of trying to find Mr Right, the guys who match your checklist end up hooking up with a girlfriend (and does the right thing by her and politely declines your threesome invitation), goes overseas on a hiking expedition or the like, or starts a new job that puts him into fly-in/fly-out mode. For those that remain available, some genuinely can’t get their diary synchronised with yours, or some end up psyching themselves out of meeting you. Before you know it, your puddle has dried up and it’s time to go fishing in new waters again: if you’ve got the patience for it.
Myth #2: Guys on RedHotPie are hot and horny for it 24/7
Yes. RHP guys are hot and they are horny but most are not prepared to drop everything in order to ‘get some’. Let’s not forget that single guys are human beings with a life outside of RHP. No doubt there are some guys who would be willing to come around to service a couple with one swift booty call but in most cases we need to exercise some fairness to all concerned.
If you feel like having a spontaneous session late one night, chat up a guy who happens to be online on RHP and manage to get him to your front door within thirty minutes, then consider yourself lucky. However if the poor guy sounds keen but text messages you an hour later and says he can’t make it, try not to get too mad. Consider how you would feel if you were given an hour to meet complete strangers who expect you to perform sexually (you’re not inviting him over for a cup of tea, right?). Well shouldn’t he have said no in the beginning? Totally. But he’s a guy at the end of the day and got revved up by the concept of hot threesome sex. Sadly the organ in charge of logistics (ie - his brain) tapped him on the shoulder and reminded him that he has to get up early to fly out of the country the next day. What’s a guy to do?
In the meantime, you’re left feeling unfulfilled and vowing to take to every single guy with the rough end of a pineapple. We do feel your pain but we can only suggest that you don’t expect too much from spontaneous sessions. Like anyone, single guys need some time to clear their schedules. They might even prefer to go out for a drink first and (shock, horror) get to know you socially before doing the wild thing.
Myth #3: Single guys will hit anything. Anything!
There’s a sad misconception that all single guys are desperate and likely to fornicate with anything that has a willing orifice. If you as a couple have this mentality when seeking one of those horny beasts to join you, you may be in for a nasty shock. Single guys have tastes and preferences like anyone else on RHP. If you won’t have sex with just anyone, why would a single guy? Or do you want the sort of single guy who will tap absolutely anything?
This myth hasn’t been brought up to suggest that some couples are plain unattractive (we’re all hot here on RHP of course!) but more so to highlight the problem some men face when propositioned by a couple who doesn’t appeal to him sexually. He’s damned if he is honest (many guys subsequently receive a barrage of abuse for being a picky bastard) and damned if he remains silent, blocks the couple and hides under a rock for a while.
Should he offer to meet for drinks at least? Sure, but somehow this could be worse if he decides then not to go ahead with the threesome due to non-attraction.
For some reason, couples can take rejection by a single girl or couple better than by a single guy. Perhaps it’s because of the tendency to assume that single guys aren’t picky, and to have a guy reject you makes the lady feel pretty average and her hubby mad as hell. So what’s a guy to do? Have sex with someone he’s not 100% attracted to or get labelled a time-wasting bastard? Great options.
If there’s a lesson to be learned here, couples who are seeking a single guy should probably not go into the task thinking it’s a no-brainer. Yes, there are many great guys to choose from on RHP but the three myths busted above should give you some idea of how you should go about finding the right guy to fulfill your MFM fantasies.
Firstly, remember that single guys are human beings with normal, human thoughts, emotions and commitments. Many have stressful jobs, kids from previous relationships and amazing passions and past times that may come ahead of meeting couples for threesome fun.
If you’re simply after a spare penis for the night, then you’re welcome to view single guys as a commodity but don’t be surprised if those who respond to your invitation are equally mercenary in their pursuits. If this suits you to a tee then you need only send a mass of messages or replies to various guys and the odds are that you’ll get a few to come and play with you.
If however you’re more into quality and fancy actually meeting a guy who you could possibly even be mates with in the vertical world then it’s worth making the effort to find the right guy for you. Work out what you are seeking in a guy (ie - attached, unattached, bisexual, experienced in group sex, condom-friendly etc.) and do an Advanced Search to get your listing of suitable guys. From there you can see through pics and profile write-ups as to whether a guy is your type of person.
When organising to meet a guy, offer to meet with the guy socially first. Most guys will probably agree to playing right away but of those guys some will sadly get a bit freaked out (experienced in group sex or not, many guys fear performance issues). If you take sex off the table for the time being, you’ll all be relaxed and not under any pressure. If drinks go well then you can easily organise the rest.
To avoid ‘timewasters’, ensure that you have swapped photos and that all parties understand what the threesome is to involve or not, and are happy to meet up. You should insist on a phone number from the single guy or ask him to call you. A quick chat on the phone will ensure that all is well and genuine. There’s sadly nothing that can gauge how well a guy is going to perform in the threesome but it may help to ensure that everyone only drinks in moderation if you’re serious about getting it on properly.
Comments
Mmmmm
Posted:
Jun, 26 2010
Funny how adult sites imitate real life!! Yes RHP provides a forum and a service for us hopefuls to meet and experience,but until we get with the progam and behave like adults,nothing changes.The challenge is to become aware of and use some psychology instead of hormones to guide us.And keep it simple,one fetish or fantasy at a time gets us there,take the time to divine what is on the others mind,it doesn't just help on this site,it helps in the real world as well..
Posted by:
upforitoo
Agreed, interesting
Posted:
Apr, 27 2010
It is one of those things that just comes from how we interact in the first place. Before the net we all went out to the pub or the club to meet people and like there, there are plenty of bad people and plenty of lovely sweet people but as above it does come down to honesty. I was recently in a relationship and we had a profile on RHP as we had previously met a couple at a bar and went to their hotel room for some fun. It was very hard to find the right people. I think all of us could safely say that to get the gist of someone’s personality entirely you need to meet them. I am very relaxed about a lot of things and not hiding anything whatsoever but I may not be everyone’s cup of tea which I get. I know at least girls in public are known to find me at least mildly attractive haha. I also think attraction has a lot to do with the vibes we get off of each other that is not transmitted in any way through the net or on messages. Anyway fantastic article and take a chance!
Posted by:
badminton_anyone
single guys waste of time
Posted:
Mar, 23 2010
we have so given up on single guys altogether they are unreliable , rude and disrespectful well 9 out of ten are and also 9 out of ten are supposedly single but really married and playijg behind there partners back and then the ones that beg you to add them to msn then dont comeonline or the many that just wanna play on cam and not meet gee i could go on for ever about this subject but i wont . great artical by the way
Posted by:
sunicouple
worth the effort
Posted:
Mar, 22 2010
I am an attached man in an open relationship. No, this does not mean that I play behind the back of my partner! As a couple, we found that it was indeed difficult to find a man to join us. Why? The reason is quite simple: our demands are rather high...we want either a single man or an attached man, he has to be fit and have a good sense of humour, as well as stamina, has to be comfortable, preferably experienced, enjoy role-play and play by our rules... We were very demanding. As a result we very recently had a splendid threesome with the perfect man! Every aspect of our time together was perfect. One has to accept that these little extra fun things take a little bit of work to organise. At the end of the day, it is worth the effort! There are some terrific men out there. Just make the time, be as reliable and genuine as you would expect this chosen man to be
Posted by:
Clearskyahead
Well written indeed
Posted:
Mar, 21 2010
I think we can all learn a lot from this article, whether you are a single male, single female, couple or someone hiding from a partner. However, I think we can all learn even more form the responses posted to the article. Men, if you actually want to receive a reply from women or couples, look out the messages you are sending them. If your spelling and grammer are as poor as most of the prose within these responses, then it is any wonder a woman isn't jumping at the opportunity to reply. So, give the ladies a break, think of the situation from their point of view and don't get upset when you put the effort in and it doesn't end up in an instant shag.
Posted by:
is_it_my_round
What a croc!
Posted:
Mar, 21 2010
Hi all, great read, I enjoyed anyway. But like a couple other comments... I don't get replies from couples/women on here! The couples are alot better at being courteous though (it's probably the male half, knowing we like a response). So to then whinge to the writer about these things... These couples obviously have overlooked my profile!!! I think as said before the women/couples need to practise what they preach, but for the same token- I don't think there's all that many 'genuine' profiles. I mean I'm half decent looking, great eyes- get told by girls (friends) I am one of the kindest people that they've met etc... But yet can't even manage a reply- let alone a meetup for a drink. What I don't get is that I am open to all levels of participation- besides the fact I am straight... I am open to a relationship, casual, friendship, fuck buddies whatever- but still again... No responses or messages.... MY P.O.V
Posted by:
EasyTiger86
It cuts both ways!
Posted:
Mar, 20 2010
As a single male who was a paid Member for a couple of years, I have rarely received even a "Thanks but no thanks!" response from women I have contacted! Even when I received a wink from a lady and followed up with an emailed reply, I still was not given a courteous response that I was not what they were looking for. For awhile, I even spent time in the chatroom but that facilitated nothing. Admittedly, I am in small town Perth but women complaining about a lack of response need to practice what they preach...
Posted by:
glass_steel
Good Article
Posted:
Mar, 20 2010
I agree with what has been written here. One point I would like to make to the couples is- when i have agreed to meet say at a Swingers club and given my number to them with them saying We will ring. Some Swingers clubs have a time the single guys have to be there. And if you forget to ring the guy by the time you say to arrange the night. Don't be mad when he changes his night and goes somehwere else. I have other passions in life and if someone says they will be somewhere I turn up, but if I don't get conformation and it looks like I have no chance of sex, I go and do something else.
Posted by:
trimmedguy
Good article
Posted:
Mar, 20 2010
It's simple - single guys should get the same common courtesy and respect that couples and single ladies expect. We've been lucky enough to meet a few genuine, respectful, fun single guys so they are out there - thankfully!!!! I suppose like single women joining a couple for some fun it would sometimes seem daunting to single guys to be the third person. Good on you single guys, you can certainly add a whole new dimension and pleasure to a situation:-)
Posted by:
sexyduo4fun
well hello
Posted:
Mar, 19 2010
im sick of single guys ha ha saying they are single and then turn out they cant meet you in public cause, well they arent really single after all. what happenened to being honest from the start. i want a single available guy to go out with and have fun too, whithout being the third wheel. come on guys, be fair.
Posted by:
lonely11
Hopefully
Posted:
Mar, 19 2010
This article will help to open every ones eyes into some of the problems common to everyone. Perhaps if everyone tried to be a little more honest and a little less presumptious, we could all find what we seek!
Posted by:
GCMan2012
So true
Posted:
Mar, 19 2010
Good article. I've always been willing to play with a couple which has never happened. Only ever had one even think about it but after first contact and being told all the rules they had that I HAD to accept or lump it I decided they could find some other slave. I don't mind if the rules are there but these all seemed to be demeaning to me, hell I was hoping for a fun time but the fun was sucked out of it before it began. Still I think a lot of couples are far too picky almost like the single females on here when it comes to meeting someone. There's is nothing wrong with being picky but there are so many men who aren't the perfect human speciman but in bed they can be heaps of fun, better than those that are sought more often.
Posted by:
lovenlust72
hmmm
Posted:
Mar, 19 2010
im a single guy and its hard for me to find a girl. I'm only a guest member but i thought I'd wait before i upgrade so i can see if any women out there are interested. I just don't want one thing, i would want to have social relationships with members as well. hopefully i can find someone interested.
Posted by:
matty910
Informative....
Posted:
Mar, 19 2010
This article made for very interesting reading which I found to be fairly honest and informative ' but I still feel theres a missing link here. Being a fairly attractive couple' (we back that up with recent pics) we are having trouble finding a single male for a straight MMF or MF get together. The response to our pics and comunication always gets a positive reaction and has gone along very nicely but when we suggest we meet over a coffee or a few drinks... the wheels fall off ? ... Not that we have alot of experience in this.. We have not played at all ' this is our first time...but the thing we found is that after finally sorting though all the flirts and messages to find a guy who we feel fit what we are looking for' all the bravado seems to just fall away... Yes' we are fussy' and expect a certain standard' but we would expect them to expect that of us also.. Makes you wonder what you have to do.
Posted by:
justjuice
Great article!
Posted:
Mar, 19 2010
However the unfortunate truth that still remains is that females and couples seeking 'single guys' are still very much afraid to reach out via RHP. This attitude of theirs will only change once 'desperate guys' stop pursuing everything/anything on RHP and learn the etiquette's (not something you can learn overnight).
Posted by:
Fun2BeVid
Very refreshing point of view
Posted:
Mar, 19 2010
From a singles guys point of view this is a very refreshing article with many valid points. Indeed the thing to remember is we are human and like couples we are search after specific things to satify our needs as well as yours and naturally there has to be a physical attraction as well as a personal bond. Enjoy your swinging
Posted by:
MFM3some
single guys 4 couples
Posted:
Mar, 18 2010
This has been good reading & well put to gether, I can relate to most of the comments on how most couples view the sponce from single males wanting to play with couples mainly ST8 single males yes most of us do have a life outside the play room & some lead up time is most prefered to expecting us to drop every thing & respond at a moments notice its much more enjoyable , if you keep regular contact during the leadup time be it days or 8hrs the nowshows & letdowns will be a lot less & the meets much more exiting, respect each others concerns & talk them through with honesty as most of us guys like to enjoy the meets & not into it just to get our rocks off & its all about giving the female the upmost in pleasure & this is where ( I ) get the most ou of it for my self
Posted by:
probinxx
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