Articles
If you want good advice you go to an expert; it’s not rocket science. If you want to know why your car’s making...
RedHotPie Editor | November 16 2010
Sexpo Sexpert - Fai Kur - the RHP interview
If you want good advice you go to an expert; it’s not rocket science. If you want to know why your car’s making that knocking sound, you visit a mechanic; if you want to know why your tap won’t stop dripping, you get the plumber in. So what do you do if you want to spice up your sex life? Well there's now a pretty exciting answer to that age old quandary – you hit Sexpo!
Not only is Sexpo the greatest lifestyle expo on the face of the planet, it’s now an awesome resource for anyone wanting to get a few tips from a qualified sexpert! Leading the charge at the RedHotPie.com.au Sex Sessions during the 2010 Melbourne Sexpo (Melbourne Convention Centre, Nov 25 - 28) will be nationally renowned sexpert, Fai Kur.
Fai will be running daily workshops on everything from spicing up sex sessions with your partner to the selection and usage of sex toys, and the best part – it’s all totally free! That’s right, once you’ve bought your ticket and entered the wonderland that is Sexpo, you’re free to rock along to any or all of Fai’s workshops and squeeze some sexy learnin’ out of your Sexpo experience.
RedHotPie sat down with Fai recently to get the lowdown on her role with Sexpo, the sexual state of Australia and her own romantic experiences as a sexpert.
(RHP) So Fai, tell us, how does one become a “Sexpert”
(Fai Kur) Well I think that in some small way we are all sexperts! (laughs)
However for me I specialized in sexual health by completing a Master of Health Science (Sexual Health) through The University of Sydney.
Additionally, I think my own history of having worked both as a sexual therapist (through my private practice “Sexual Focus”) and having worked in the sex toy industry for many years was a perfect fit for my role at Sexpo.
And how did you get involved with Sexpo initially?
Rob Godwin from Sexpo contacted me one day discussing the possibility of us creating a number of workshops for Sexpo Sydney and Melbourne 2010. My excitement was insane and then I received a second phone call from Rob during which he asked me if we could organise something for Sexpo Adelaide which was happening in three weeks time.
What is awesome, and I don't even know if Rob knows this, but I decided to become a sex therapist when I attended Sexpo in Perth over 12 years ago. Little did I know that I would then go to uni for ten years and become the sex therapist for Sexpo Australia - it is very awesome!
So describe your workshops at the RedHotPie.com.au Sex Sessions stand.
Ahhh, brilliant question, I will admit they are kind of full on in the best possible way! I want, actually I need people, especially females to know that what we have been taught about our sexual anatomy is minuscule compared to the rich internal and extremely pleasurable landscape that exists within us all.
Knowing this and how the body experiences pleasure and orgasm can help all of us increase our sexual and orgasmic bliss. This knowledge is empowering and necessary for every man and woman to know.
These are a fantastic snippet of our 3 hour “I Am Woman” workshops that we run in Perth. We also run a few fun workshops where we share with you our expert knowledge of sex toys. We teach people how to choose the best toy for them.
What are people getting out of your workshops?
The list is endless. They get the opportunity to listen to a presentation that they would almost never get to experience anywhere else in the world.
Additionally they get me. I stay behind and have individual conversations / therapy sessions for those who have burning questions or some personal concerns.
It's a part of my duty of care to be there for the patrons of Sexpo. We use the RedHotPie.com.au Sex Sessions stand to host educations sessions, fun toys sessions, practical workshops and individual and couples counselling.
The opportunity to be a part of this is a gift to me and a gift to the entire Melbourne community.
What kind of people would benefit from coming along?
Anyone who is over 18 and still alive!
What’s the funniest scene you’ve witnessed at one of your workshops?
In truth I think we can be hysterical at the end of the day. Sexpo is so much fun and the high and buzz just gets better and more intense as the day and night progresses, so by the time we get to 10pm we can be pretty hysterical.
What are you most looking forward to in regard to Melbourne Sexpo?
The opportunity to talk to as many people as possible; to share with them our knowledge about toys not only how to choose them but also how to use them. And all things relating to sex and sexual health.
We have a product range at Sexpo and I bring with me my awesome team from Perth. So whether you’ve never owned a toy or you have a tool box, you will still benefit from hanging out with us at the stand. We are painfully enthusiastic about what we do.
We are also looking forward to “vajazzling” and “testazzling” as many people as we can because at Sexpo you can truly be yourself we love celebrating our sexuality with jewels and Swarovski crystals. It’s crazy fun... we have some pics on our website.
What’s your number one, general sex tip for people?
Oh my god, only one? This is sex we are talking about - I need an entire week! Well, in regards to products: use an amazing silicone based lubricant for everything especially for hand jobs and with toys. And in regards to getting down and dirty, just relaxing during sex is crap - females need to engage their pelvic floor muscles and peripheral muscles to intensify their experience of orgasm and to learn the difference between the different types of orgasms. Ok and one more - engage in your erotic mind!
What’ the biggest problem facing the healthy sexual relationships of modern couples?
We are not taught how to communicate, how to work at a relationship, how to make love and have awesome sex!
However, the number one issue would be stress. It can suppress your sexual desire and it can really mess with the individual and the couple and sadly the issues that develop during those times can also impede on how they regain their old sexual spark.
Have you noticed a rise in casual sex as people hold off longer before getting married?
Perhaps we are talking about it more openly as doing it outside of marriage is more the norm and more acceptable. Also linking in or hooking up with people the way you can do on sites like RedHotPie makes it very easy to find like-minded people where you can be honest about your desires and your intentions.
Some people might be holding off on getting married, some people are still married and playing, some are playing as a couple and some people have just come out of a marriage, so I believe that the people playing out there come from all walks of life which makes the sexual landscape way more interesting and intriguing.
How about your own experiences? Are your potential suitors a bit intimidated by the thought of dating a sex therapist?
Hell yes. I have to point out to them that my job is to talk sex, not have sex; that I'm as normal as the next person with my own sexual and relationship history, but I’m not really sure if they are actually listening to me or if they are just waiting for me to shut up!
Do you have any trouble following your own advice?
(Laughs) let’s put it this way. When I am with someone I am in a relationship with them, I am not in therapy with them so I do have had to hold my tongue sometimes. But not for long cause it flops out eventually.
Sexpo 2010 hits Melbourne from November 25th through the 28th. For all Sexpo information and tickets visit www.sexpo.com.au
For more information about Fai and her practice just visit www.sexualfocus.com.au or www.vmpevents.com.au
Not only is Sexpo the greatest lifestyle expo on the face of the planet, it’s now an awesome resource for anyone wanting to get a few tips from a qualified sexpert! Leading the charge at the RedHotPie.com.au Sex Sessions during the 2010 Melbourne Sexpo (Melbourne Convention Centre, Nov 25 - 28) will be nationally renowned sexpert, Fai Kur.
Fai will be running daily workshops on everything from spicing up sex sessions with your partner to the selection and usage of sex toys, and the best part – it’s all totally free! That’s right, once you’ve bought your ticket and entered the wonderland that is Sexpo, you’re free to rock along to any or all of Fai’s workshops and squeeze some sexy learnin’ out of your Sexpo experience.
RedHotPie sat down with Fai recently to get the lowdown on her role with Sexpo, the sexual state of Australia and her own romantic experiences as a sexpert.
(RHP) So Fai, tell us, how does one become a “Sexpert”
(Fai Kur) Well I think that in some small way we are all sexperts! (laughs)
However for me I specialized in sexual health by completing a Master of Health Science (Sexual Health) through The University of Sydney.
Additionally, I think my own history of having worked both as a sexual therapist (through my private practice “Sexual Focus”) and having worked in the sex toy industry for many years was a perfect fit for my role at Sexpo.
And how did you get involved with Sexpo initially?
Rob Godwin from Sexpo contacted me one day discussing the possibility of us creating a number of workshops for Sexpo Sydney and Melbourne 2010. My excitement was insane and then I received a second phone call from Rob during which he asked me if we could organise something for Sexpo Adelaide which was happening in three weeks time.
What is awesome, and I don't even know if Rob knows this, but I decided to become a sex therapist when I attended Sexpo in Perth over 12 years ago. Little did I know that I would then go to uni for ten years and become the sex therapist for Sexpo Australia - it is very awesome!
So describe your workshops at the RedHotPie.com.au Sex Sessions stand.
Ahhh, brilliant question, I will admit they are kind of full on in the best possible way! I want, actually I need people, especially females to know that what we have been taught about our sexual anatomy is minuscule compared to the rich internal and extremely pleasurable landscape that exists within us all.
Knowing this and how the body experiences pleasure and orgasm can help all of us increase our sexual and orgasmic bliss. This knowledge is empowering and necessary for every man and woman to know.
These are a fantastic snippet of our 3 hour “I Am Woman” workshops that we run in Perth. We also run a few fun workshops where we share with you our expert knowledge of sex toys. We teach people how to choose the best toy for them.
What are people getting out of your workshops?
The list is endless. They get the opportunity to listen to a presentation that they would almost never get to experience anywhere else in the world.
Additionally they get me. I stay behind and have individual conversations / therapy sessions for those who have burning questions or some personal concerns.
It's a part of my duty of care to be there for the patrons of Sexpo. We use the RedHotPie.com.au Sex Sessions stand to host educations sessions, fun toys sessions, practical workshops and individual and couples counselling.
The opportunity to be a part of this is a gift to me and a gift to the entire Melbourne community.
What kind of people would benefit from coming along?
Anyone who is over 18 and still alive!
What’s the funniest scene you’ve witnessed at one of your workshops?
In truth I think we can be hysterical at the end of the day. Sexpo is so much fun and the high and buzz just gets better and more intense as the day and night progresses, so by the time we get to 10pm we can be pretty hysterical.
What are you most looking forward to in regard to Melbourne Sexpo?
The opportunity to talk to as many people as possible; to share with them our knowledge about toys not only how to choose them but also how to use them. And all things relating to sex and sexual health.
We have a product range at Sexpo and I bring with me my awesome team from Perth. So whether you’ve never owned a toy or you have a tool box, you will still benefit from hanging out with us at the stand. We are painfully enthusiastic about what we do.
We are also looking forward to “vajazzling” and “testazzling” as many people as we can because at Sexpo you can truly be yourself we love celebrating our sexuality with jewels and Swarovski crystals. It’s crazy fun... we have some pics on our website.
What’s your number one, general sex tip for people?
Oh my god, only one? This is sex we are talking about - I need an entire week! Well, in regards to products: use an amazing silicone based lubricant for everything especially for hand jobs and with toys. And in regards to getting down and dirty, just relaxing during sex is crap - females need to engage their pelvic floor muscles and peripheral muscles to intensify their experience of orgasm and to learn the difference between the different types of orgasms. Ok and one more - engage in your erotic mind!
What’ the biggest problem facing the healthy sexual relationships of modern couples?
We are not taught how to communicate, how to work at a relationship, how to make love and have awesome sex!
However, the number one issue would be stress. It can suppress your sexual desire and it can really mess with the individual and the couple and sadly the issues that develop during those times can also impede on how they regain their old sexual spark.
Have you noticed a rise in casual sex as people hold off longer before getting married?
Perhaps we are talking about it more openly as doing it outside of marriage is more the norm and more acceptable. Also linking in or hooking up with people the way you can do on sites like RedHotPie makes it very easy to find like-minded people where you can be honest about your desires and your intentions.
Some people might be holding off on getting married, some people are still married and playing, some are playing as a couple and some people have just come out of a marriage, so I believe that the people playing out there come from all walks of life which makes the sexual landscape way more interesting and intriguing.
How about your own experiences? Are your potential suitors a bit intimidated by the thought of dating a sex therapist?
Hell yes. I have to point out to them that my job is to talk sex, not have sex; that I'm as normal as the next person with my own sexual and relationship history, but I’m not really sure if they are actually listening to me or if they are just waiting for me to shut up!
Do you have any trouble following your own advice?
(Laughs) let’s put it this way. When I am with someone I am in a relationship with them, I am not in therapy with them so I do have had to hold my tongue sometimes. But not for long cause it flops out eventually.
Sexpo 2010 hits Melbourne from November 25th through the 28th. For all Sexpo information and tickets visit www.sexpo.com.au
For more information about Fai and her practice just visit www.sexualfocus.com.au or www.vmpevents.com.au
