Politicians Behaving Badly

As interest rates rise and the environment heats up, so to are our politicians. Whether it’s copping a mouthful at a NYC strip club, having a cheeky rendezvous in a public rest room or paying through the nose for some intimate liaisons, how do our politicians get anything done?

We love it when our leaders get caught with their pants down so here are our Top 10 politicians who have behaved badly and got caught out succumbing to urges from the honey pot. We’d love to watch the '60 Minutes' Worm judge these, its RedHotPie’s Top 10 Salacious Political Scandals.

10. Kevin Rudd, Prime Minister of Australia:
Is there anything funnier than imagining K-Rudd copping the ‘motor boat’ boob dance at a Gentleman’s Club? Revelations were leaked that he visited the popular strip joint, Scores on a tax payers funded trip to the States when he was a shadow minister. He claimed he was too boozed to remember, and blames his raging heterosexuality on his decision.

9. Francis Logan, West Australian Energy Minister:
Apparently his member has too much energy, Mr Logan used the “annoy them ‘til they crack” method yet came up short. He pestered a member of his ministerial entourage to partake in a threesome with him and another employee but no one took the bait. He was so devastated that he decided to drown his sorrows at an ABC Christmas function and as he continued to be knocked back for some three-way action, he knocked back one too many convivial drinks and was thrown out. At the very least, it would have been a great story to hear waiting in line at the Kebab shop.

8. Alan Carpenter, West Australian Premier:
Maybe it’s the fresh country air, or the fact that singing Wham! and other Karaoke classics just makes people randy and sanctimonious pollies are not exempt. Unconfirmed reports from a Labor caucus karaoke special suggest that Carps got a little too carried away when he tried to take the shirt of a fellow female MP’s back and flash her puppies to the audience. The rumours haven’t been categorically denied, but apparently the MP at the centre of the scandal wasn’t offended. Stay tuned for Pollies Pin-Up coming to an inbox near you.

7. Nicholas Sarkozy, President of France:
Two thumbs up for “Sarko” and not just for his plans to reform the French economy, but for his insatiable appetite for drop dead gorgeous women. Walking down the aisle for a third time to supermodel and singer Carla Bruni, who strutted her stuff on the international catwalks as well as in the bedroom citing Mick Jaggar, Eric Clapton and Donald Trump as bedfellows. In a candid TIME exposé following there nuptials, France’s first lady was quoted as saying “I’m monogamous from time to time, but I prefer polygamy and polyandry.” Oh la la!!

6. Lord Lambton, Defence Under Security Officer and Lord Jellicoe, Leader of the Lords 1973):
Just because you have the word Lord thrown onto your name doesn’t mean you’re immune to chasing a bit of skirt around the country. Photographed naked in bed with two women smoking some questionable herbs, Lord Lambton told the BBC that he paid women for sex as “people sometimes like variety”. The poor guy was so bored with the futility of his job as a junior minister that he blamed his “idle hands” for his decant debaucheries. He also had a keen interest in hoes, due to his interest in gardening. Within days of his resignation, the Leader of the Lords, Lord Jellicoe resigned after he also admitted he used prostitutes to relieve the “pressure” of politics.

5. The Profumo Scandal: John Profumo, UK Secretary of State for War (1963):
Nothing gets the blood pumping and tongues wagging quiet like a love triangle, and this one was a doozy. Involving a high-flying cabinet minister, a showgirl and a Soviet naval attaché, like Caesar and Cleopatra before them, this love tryst had it all, fumbling Prime Ministers, lies to the House and espionage during the Cold War. As a successful politico Profumo denied, at first, any slap’n’tickle with model Catherine Keeler, once the truth was revealed the whole incident became an issue for national security, as Keeler was also shagging Eugene Ivanov from the Soviet Embassy. She was thrown in jail; while Profumo resigned and became a successful philanthropist, needless to say she didn’t take his calls when she was released.

4. Former New York City Governor, Eliot Spitzer:
The man who spent more time spruiking about his morality and starching his white shirts, than attending Politics 101, as it’s usually frowned upon to spend your children’s inheritance on top notch hookers. He confessed to being embroiled in an international prostitution ring and money laundering scheme with his wife standing by his side. Prior to abdicating his title as Governor of the Big Apple, he used to splash out anywhere between $2000 to $7000 an hour for some high-class company. He was eventually brought down by Ashley Alexandra Dupre who is using the fame to leverage a singing career. There aren’t enough Hail Mary’s in the world to repent this sort of shizzle.

3. John F Kennedy, Former President of the United States (1963):
To the debate which has raged since the beginning of time, blonde or brunettes? Yet, the world’s most charming president, who was married to a style maven, apparently couldn’t resist the pure, unadulterated sexiness of the bootylicious Ms Monroe. If the torrid rumours weren’t enough, her sultry serenade of “Happy Birthday, Mr President” was anything but subtle. She later told a columnist that he didn’t believe in foreplay as he didn’t have the time, ten points for originality. But like any good Hollywood drama, things got messy as Monroe also managed to slip in some sexy time with JFK’s brother Robert. Her husband Joe DiMaggio claimed that the Kennedy’s conspired to have her killed, which is a bit unfair really; she gave them head and they apparently attempted to take hers off!

2. Troy Buswell, Leader of the West Australian Opposition:
The original Sandgroper prankster with the kinkiest mind in WA politics, you gotta give the bloke credit for his first “incident”, he got tanked and missed work then tried it on with a Labor staffer by snapping her bra. He also decided to appease his olfactory senses by sniffing a female staff member’s chair, reportedly “groaning with sexual pleasure”. But it’s not all for the ladies; rumours are rife that he’s partial to a bit of squirrel-gripping fun in the chambers with the boys.

1. Bill Clinton, Former President of the United States:
The sex scandal to end all sex scandals, turns out he did have sexual relations with that woman, the curvaceous Monica Lewinsky, and what followed was the wrath of the Hilary and impeachment. Turns out even the most powerful man in the world couldn’t resist the urge to ask his cute intern to take some dictation.