Being Explicit: Does it work?

“I’ll treat you like a princess and f%$k you like a whore”. Yep. This oh-so eloquent one-liner appears to be the favourite ice breaker for a guy on here. I guess it doesn’t beat around the bush but it sure didn’t impress one female recipient who decided it warranted being reported to us. So off I investigated.

As expected, this guy’s approach earned him a good number of virtual slaps in the face but surprisingly a handful of ladies were somewhat receptive to his unique (for want of a better word) charm which I found most perplexing. Maybe a bit of in-your-face sleaze is a welcomed reprieve from a boring day at the office?

By and large, we don’t recommend using an opening line or message that is overtly sexual or describes in graphic detail what you might like to do with someone with a pot of glue and a bag of cotton balls. In fact, unless someone’s profile actually says that they’ve got some freaky princess/whore complex they’d like to explore sexually, I’d steer clear of suggesting role-playing. The bottom line is that it’s not nice being referred to as a whore (or a princess for that matter; daddy issues much?).

Having said all of that, what of the women who found the OTT approach a breath of fresh air or at least moderately amusing enough to read and respond to? There seems to be some merit in being a little ‘out there’ and if you can do that without causing offense, you could be on a winner.

A lot of people describe RedHotPie as a sex site and while that’s been debated hotly in our Forums, I’d like to think that at the very least, our website is a community of open-minded adults. RHP users are down with the concept of casual or group sex (whether y’all do it or not) and four-letter words don’t generally faze people but sending a cold message to an unsuspecting RHP maiden with words like ‘gash’ and ‘pump’ isn’t going to be your finest achievement on our website.

So what to do? Users on RedHotPie are generally receptive to naughtiness (read - not sleaziness) so it wouldn’t hurt to inject a little sexual innuendo into your opening messages to ladies (and this applies to guys, couples and our other fun friends) which may be more exciting than reading the bog standard intros (eg - “Hi. My name is Jason. I am new to this site. Can we be friends?”). Just don’t over do it!

If it’s not something you’d ever say to someone in person you’ve just met, then you definitely shouldn’t type it in a message.

Tips

* Choose your words wisely. You can be sexy without using four-letter words but you’ll be surprised how many guys go straight for the F-word. You can also be sexy without describing the act of sex or genitalia.

* Don’t imply that someone is something in particular based purely on their profile photos or words. Someone who likes sex a lot (and/or with multiple partners) is not a slut. If they like to use that word during sex because it gives them jollies, you’ll work that out much later. Also be careful with the word cougar. Just because a lady is of a certain age, that doesn’t make her a cougar.

* Do take into account the age of the person you are messaging (and often in relation to your own age). There are some older ladies (and I mean 60+) who may find even mildly explicit descriptions a little too forward (although they may be open to trying it at a later date if she digs you).

* Be creative and strategic with your Subject title. Sometimes people will click on messages based on what’s written in the title. However, if you overcook it and write “Click here for a f*%k”, you might find your message gets trashed before being read.