Umm...errr... :P

Simply Wayne...it was a bugger of a week!

My lovely husband-to-be was recuperating from some surgery....I decided to stay home and play nurse.  Mind you, I am a much more compassionate nurse when I'm paid for it....however, the barter system is a most useful tool ;p

Missed you too

Hugs

Jx

....my fellow "Banga Sista's"....you are never far from my thoughts.

Hugs

Jx

Wow - congrats OBS - do we all get invited to the wedding ;-)  Hope he's better now... and you can both come to the next Sydney drinks night...

hugs

Wayne

x

hey roxxy

for my worth if it was me as the man i would sure wish to be given the heads up after all it is a half and half conception ,, and i have been there before but in the end its the ladies choice as her body is where the action is going to happen ,,,,

if the man is half his worth he would listen to and abide by the ladies choice and back her and give support in anyway he could

xxxxxx Andy

Mrs S thank you so much for that insight into you as a woman and mother

at 16 i was in the same spot but having the childhood i had

i aborted because i was too scared id be forced back home

somewhere i never wanted to go again

that turned out to be the one and only regret i have in this life

so i guess we all cope in different ways to the same situation

thank you and i hope your well...missing you on the forums mwahhhhh

Andy sweetie thanks for the males view you men always amaze me

roxxy

i hear what your asying babe...i kind of agree

but i have a story for you to think about.....

i met a man...to me the perfect man, wonderful sex, he brewed his own grog and better yet he couldnt have kids....not just couldnt but was told 20 years before i met him he had "no hope in living hell he would every have kids"....perfect i had kids didnt want any more

one day i found out i was pregnant...fine i kept it he was happy everything was fine...then 2 years after that i fell pregnant again...things went sooooo bad then that i wanted to abort it but was talked in to keeping it....things went so badly my ex took my other kids the man i was with had a nervous breakdown...i was left pregnant looking after a toddler trying to get my other kids back and trust me if i thought the rafters would hold me i would have been swinging from them

i begged my doctor to kill my baby, but he wouldnt because i was too far gone

i was sick, i had fainting spells that they could do nothing about because i was pregnant, i was alone and no one cared

i managed to get my kids back, i broke up with the man, i had that baby and moved back to a house me and all the kids hated, all alone just me and all those kids

because of the crap i went through when i was pregnant the baby was not the easiest baby in the world...she always cried, she never slept and i had no help at all

plus now i had two exes to put up with that were making my life hell

so even though i agree..yes men do have a say in what happens, its the womans decission in the end...because if things go bad, she is the one left holding the baby....wanted or not

i have plenty of other stories like that...just ask and il tell them

roxxy

If you have no intention of going through with the pregnancy then I don't think he needs to know.  If you go though with the pregnancy and want to bring the baby up yourself or put the baby up for adoption then he has the right to know.  The child also has the right to know who their father is whether or not he wants to be involved.  This is most important with the issue of genetics and medical issues.  One can't be selfish in regards to children... they aren't toys to be played with.

Sweet

Hi,

If I were in that situatiion I do not believe in abortion within myself but accept others who do.  I would be scared as ever with the whole thing.  If the guy was sweet and understanding etc then YES he needs to know then it is his choice if he wants to be involved or not either way YOU have to accept his descion.  On the other hand if it was a one night stand and you never heard from him and got the impression that was it then Myself, I would most likely not tell him.....  I do believe the father has a right to know on the other hand if he wasnt that nice to you then I would rather keep it to myself.

I have been in similar situation with my ex of 9yrs we both wanted atleast one child in our mid to late 30s.  as we were both career orientated even though I myself have always wanted 2 or 3 children. 

My story goes, we were engaged after 4yrs together and I have had alot of issues with my menstral cycle and cervical cancer 3 times only minor and indemetriotis (how ever it is spelt)... I had many tests with my gynocologist over 12months and I was told I was not able to conceive without a certain tablet as I only produce an egg once maybe twice a year. and possibly not at all. 

After my first bout of cervical cancer having a small operation I was adviced to stay off the pill yet I didn't just incase as we also used condoms each time.  after my 3rd bout with my cervix and all the tests I then made the choice to go off the pill and we didn't use any protection due to the answers I was given.

So low and behold 2 and half yrs after no protection at all I find myself pregnant we had been together 5yrs by now and planning our wedding during our 6th yr together.  I was always feeling sick yet all the home testing never worked for me so I had a blood test and 2 days later rang for the results and they said it was positive I had to ask 3 times what they said as I thought I was hearing positive but they were probably saying negative.... I just cried, knowing it wasn't the right time.  I rang 3 other people before my fiance as I was scared as I knew he would be very unhappy as I was 28 and he was 29.

I finally got the courage to call him and let him know and yes he was upset and confused...  once we got home though we seemed to be really happy about it. And we rang most people to let them know.  I think I was more upset knowin we wouldn't be getting married the year the baby was due.

More surprising news when I was 8 weeks pregant I had this intuition I was having twins I dont know why I just knew it.  I asked my aunty as she had twins how soon with a scan do you know your having twins.  She said she was 8weeks when she found out... So my 9 wk scan I went alone and the nurse was smiling and I asked 'is there a chance I could be having twins' and she said 'well actually you are take a look'.... I cried and cried with joy yet also with what my fiance was going to say....  I then again rang the same 3 people and they were soooo excited.  And yes my Fiance was devastated worrying about finances...  A week after finding out the news he was at me to get an abortion and I was against it.  All I worried about was being in Adel with all our family in Tas and not having support.  I gave my fiance the choice to stay or go but he decided to stay.  All in all the outcome was perfect we had twin girls which were suppose to be non identical when I was pregnant and we did DNA testing when they were 1yr old and they are genetically identical... they don't look like it to me and alot of others. 

Unfortunantly our relationship ended early last year and Iam raising them on my own and it can be very hard, and our girls are now 4yrs old but once the father see their children born it gives them a whole new concept of parenting. the Love you feel for your child is nothing like any other love you feel. My girls dad has them a little bit and he adores them too bits.

So what ever choice you decide if or if not the father is involved or not it is your choice.  And what ever you decide will be the right choice for you as you are the one carrying the child and once it is born you will have no idea the joy love and happiness a child brings to a mother. 

My moto - 'A mothers love is nothing compared to a fathers love or any other kind of love you feel throughout your life'

I hope it all works out for you and for the better for yourself and the father if he is involved or not, if he doesnt then PLEASE don't feel dis heartened as I am a single mum now with twins and it is all worth it and you will get through it.  I do hope if the guy is as nice as you say he is and I hope he will be involved even as your friend for the child's sake.

Wishing you all the best BIG HUGS 'E'

do what you thinks best,but

id like to know if i was the guy,

i think lifes to short not to be honest.especily in this day and age

and you can both work through it.

or find out what hes realy like.

deeper thoughts even for me

If lets say the lady in Question has the child , then years down the track that child meets and falls for another person and they deside to have children ?????? and at a gathering of these two people the lady first mentioned meets the father of the second child only to find out he is her lover from years before ????means they are related by blood isnt it ????

there are now states In the USA looking to pass laws that at birth children must have DNA tests to prove who the parents are as there are so many now who just dont know,

Do we as adults have a responsibility

what do others think about this

sorry Roxxy your subject just got me thinking ,,,,,,,,,,, or was it the big night i had and feeling little woozy today

Andy XXXXX

Having been adopted I have lived with similar concerns all of my adult life.

Maybe that's why I've always been drawn to men of a different ethnicity to myself.

I agree, testing of some sort should be mandatory...but at what stage?

Ms Blind x

can i say firstly...OMG hotnfun wow your adorable

now my beautiful sexy arse Andy you have a good point...when i got with my ex he couldnt have kids, the perfect man as far as im concerned lol, but 10 months later, you guessed it i was pregnant....i demanded we get our son a paternity test because i didnt want my ex ever thinking my son wasnt his

so i think mandatory testing is a damn good idea

ms blind i think when the baby is taken away for its other tests its a good idea to do it then....then everyone knows nearly right from the start

roxxy

I feel for you - you have quite  a dilemma on your hands. I am pro choice and things need to be right as in support

because they are expensive and they do keep you up all night for the first 2 yrs or so.

But they are a blessing and they give a lot of love which may enrich your life.

There i said it