I dont want kids so it simple for me and before i get the right to lifers telling me I am killing a life people this is my body my choice...and am happy to agree to disagree with you on this point

i would 'fix it' as you so eloquently put it.

I have no desire to have a child in my life, nor do I have a desire to be tied to someone that I know isnt going to make me happy or if its the case someone I dont really want ot have in my life in such a permanent role.  I couldnt give the child up for adoption and by carrying a child to full term I would then feel obligated to telling the man involved so for me the choice is an easy one.

No I wouldnt tell the man involved before or afterwards as this I feel is something that he most likely doesnt want to deal with either.  Again its my body my choice

Kisses

Focus

This is a hard one....

At the end of the day it is ladies choice...

I suppose you have to ask yourself?

Are you ready for this life altering addition... What DO YOU want?

Is there anything to be gained by telling him? 

What do you expect from him when you do tell him?....... will you be ready for his answere?

Do you think he'd like to/ or would want to know?

Just don't have any expectations, and decide what you want to as there is no right or wrong answere. (In my opinion).

Okay I'll be game and answer this purley JMO and if it happend to ME.

Personally I would fix it but thats me. But it depends on your religious beleifes. I'm not religious so that doesn't come into it with me.

I suppose you need to answer some questions for yourself .

Would you like a child or another 1 at this stage in your life for me No.

Would I tell no I wouldn't, purley because it was only a w/e of fun and nothing more.

I'ts my body and i'll do what I please.

That is what I would do if it was me but it's not me, so only the person going through this can make these choices.

If you choose to keep it I would then tell the other person. YES I would defeniatley have the discussion.

There's lots of questions here to be asked who else does this decision effect ??

Other children ?

Spouses?

LIKE I STATED JMO

Pips ducks for cover

I think the father has the right to know, and at least some input.

I know i would want to know. It is after all partly the males genetic material.

Besides whatever the decisions about to be made he should be there to support you emotionally and financially.

Plus in the advent of a decision to keep the pregnancy going, there are good medical reasons to have the father involved even if at arms length.

Cheers Nev

from the second you discover you are pregnant .. its not a miniscule spec you carry but for most of us .. its a child... its our future.. it is the son daugher we have that gives us grand children.. Im not sure too many of us that are mothers can say anything different.... so really its not that easy ...

Clearly this is not a child that would be conceived out of love and devotion and great desire .. its a child that comes as shock to mum and a great bloody shock to dad ..  A one night stand throws a whole different perspecrtive .. and if this is the case .. you have to decide what you wish to do .. and then ... ease into tellig mr weekend he is about to be a dad .. and that together you have a future ... as a mum and dad .. and really as two possible strangers nothing else matters.. if you decide a life is created and continues then you need to act as two parents .. for a childs sake .. I think we in this generation owe it to the next ...

Im not sure what I would do in this situation .. but as a divorced mum with two kids .. I can say my ex and I have a great relationship as a mum and dad .. we share our kids .. we pride ourselves as beng good parents .. mostly because we are civiil .. hell despite all else .. i think he i a great dad..

what ever decision you make . remember a child comes because of two people .. children desereve two parents .. and dads are super important ...

i

its late Debs message is now complete and all the best to you xxx

wow ... tough one

i am pro choice ... what will work for one will not work not another

but personally ...... i think i would have it ..... and yes would prob tell the father(only cos i think that is the right thing) .....but give them choices ..... it takes 2 to make a baby ..... you get a choice and so should they .....

i think things happen for a reason ..... sometimes it just takes awhile to figure that reason out

Im with focus here, I have never had the wish to be a  parent, now  or in the past. I have made it me responsibility to ensure this doesnt happen to me. Still,  if the little accident was to happen then termination would be my answer.ASAP, STAT,NOW.
Maybe I'd tell the bloke, I might want some one to hold  my hand while the premed  kicks in and make another one aware  that  child prevention is a two way street.
Gourmet

Sassy i agree i have kids...but is another man really needed in life to get in the way???

i raise my kids myself...is another wanted

does the man have a right to know???

does he have a right to know if the baby is terminated???

financial and emotional support is not wanted...so does he need to know anything???

the weekend was wonderful...but when asked to spend more time together...he was busy

confustion is rampant

roxxy

But I do believe it is his business if a child is born  I think more so because it can be tough on kids to not know where they belong and why one parent is not involved. 

Ultimately Its a females choice, her body to make the decision...  Im sure as hell glad I was never in the situation to ponder it.

Roxy... That a question!!

They say ignorance is bliss... but something as major as this?..Part of me says no; and part says yes.  All I can say, if I am told...then I'd like to think I could be supportive in what everway she might need.  But..there would be a lot of soul searching.

CG

Yes, I say tell him. It does take 2 after all. What happens with this is totally up to the woman. If she wants to abort, that is her right, if she wants to keep it..that is her right too. But remember, asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of. Only she will know what to do..the rest of us can only give advice and to be there for her.

xFunlovingx

Sassy its a hard situation to ponder. of that im sure

Funloving honey im sorry i make your head hurt....my head hurts too haha...but thats my own doing lol

thanks CG and Nev for giving me your male opinions

i love this place...so much support and good advise

roxxy

Hmmm...tricky one...

This seems to occur a lot. Women seem to think that because they are carrying the child somehow it's "theirs" with nary a thought for the father.
Newsflash people - the woman wouldn't be carrying said offspring if it weren't for the male - end of story. To continue with the pregnancy or to abort is the decision of both - again end of story.
Whether you choose to abort or not, well, ultimately as it's your body, and as such the father has no real choice in it but...this isn't "your" (singular) child, it's your (plural) and as such both parties deserve a say in the matter.

Imagine for a moment, if you got pregnant and then carried on with a termination without telling the father. Imagine how he might feel to learn that you arbitrarily terminated his child - a child that both of you created.

I'm not ready; he's not right for me; it was a mistake...are some of the reasons why. Tough shit - shoulda thought of that before taking that path.

It's a joint decision - that's all there is to it, really. Just as the father cannot (and should not) demand you terminate, you equally should not have the right to make that decision without consulting him.
If you don't like it - don't play with fire.

What if i was to consult said man involved and he was compltely against terminatoins, forbid me to go ahead with it...what then?  I dont want kids its thats simple but if the man involved was so against terminations and I went and did it anyway which would hurt more? Wouldnt you rather go on in blissful ignorance than have something like that on your concience (MrsC?) or to feel that your wishes werent taken into consideration? This is a one night (weekend) stand not a life long committment to each other why turn it into one?

Kisses

Focus

Do tend to think that prevention is better than the cure... but having said that I've found the occasional condom slipping off after very vigorous sex, particularly if it contain a fair amount of natural male lubricant.

So back up contraception is a valid idea.

Having said that, for some strange reason I kept meeting ladies who have had a hysterectomy. One wanted to test out her plumbing six weeks after the operation by having very vigorous sex. (She had one of the new technique jobs where the operation is done through the vagina).

I digress... Do think it much better if there is no need for an abortion... using it as a form of contraception seems irresponsible to me.

Just mulling the prospects of Gourmet_Lady still having her girlish figure if she has not born a child.

Wish I still had my boyish body... in fact some may be mistaken and think I'm pregnant. :(

Don't play with fire you say...okay then...obviously you need to read condom packets (which are not 100% efficient and there are problems with other contraceptives too.

When I was 15 I had a blood clot in my leg...therefore...have never been allowed on the pill! My daughter was born with the IUD in her hand..(she still has a light scar too) and my son was born when we were using condoms AND he withdrew each time...

So...where is the fire??

The world is not just black and white....there is some grey and rainbow colours in between!!

xFunlovingx

If I decided to keep the baby (or adopt out).  In that case he'd have to know so you can find out genetic history blah blah.  Also, he is also responsible for child support in that situation too.

If I decided to terminate then he doesn't need to know, I'd take care of it and he can live in blissful ignorance. 

There are teenage girls who are determined to make a career out of having babies... Often somewhat indiscriminately with a different bloke each time.

It may seem a simple way of earning an income courtesy of welfare, particularly if teenage girls encounter less birth complications than women closer to menopause.

One of the consequences is determining the family tree and someday the offspring inadvertently marrying a half sister or first cousin.

Another problem is that some of the less bright breed like rabbits whilst the more intelligent are busy pursuing a career, and often end up childless.

One day the morons might inherit the earth and the Neanderthals will once again roam our planet.