a live in...............

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a live in...............

Jul 02, 2012
erzulie101
we currently have someone living with us and sharing us!!
its pretty cool right now.

has anyone been in this kind of situation before?

we dont see it as a permanent thing as she is quite young and looking for her own special love.
my husband is loving life at the moment.

any advice or stories similar to share?
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buzzz_buzzz   Couple Man 29yrs Woman 30yrs

dangerous..

its a very dangerous path to tread..
he has been in that situation before and it can end up seriously messy for all parties..
only advice i have is dont do it.
Jul 02, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
funders91

curious about it!

always wondered what this sort of thing would be like. Maybe if I'm overseas I'd want something like that!
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neptune_drift   Man 29yrs

It's kind of a fantasy

But one question: is she (or he) paying rent?

For me personally, I would feel very uncomfortable being either party if there wasn't at least a token amount of rent. The arrangement could be made with the best of intentions and mutually agreeable, but unless there was some other deal in place to cover board and the sex was an added bonus, I just couldn't shake the feeling that it was a bit prostitution-y (ie. you're staying here for free BECAUSE you're giving us sex.)
Jul 03, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Jean_Girard   Man 37yrs

Rental Sex

Quoting 'neptune_drift'
But one question: is she (or he) paying rent?

For me personally, I would feel very uncomfortable being either party if there wasn't at least a token amount of rent. The arrangement could be made with the best of intentions and mutually agreeable, but unless there was some other deal in place to cover board and the sex was an added bonus, I just couldn't shake the feeling that it was a bit prostitution-y (ie. you're staying here for free BECAUSE you're giving us sex.)


Bah!  Turn off your morals and look at it as an added bonus.  Every time there's a story on the news about 'housing affordability', 'increasing rents', 'difficulty finding rentals' or even cpi, you can discuss a rental increase.

.

Although seriously, this assumes that she is 'giving' them sex, I'd prefer to think that she is not only copping free rent, but getting most of her sexual needs met too!  She better enjoy it while she can, because life is only going to be a bitter disappointment from here on in.

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heywood_djablome

Negativity

WOW, would never have suspected a story like this, would have got such negativity from the folk on here.Jealousy maybe.

Personally, while I have never found myself in a situation like you describe, I think it is fantastic that you have someone so close, that you both can enjoy playing with. Yes there are risks, but those risks are always there when one extends one's sexlife to include others outside your relationship.

I say, Congratulations, continue to enjoy her and also, assist her in finding that special someone. Maybe they can even get in on the fun too, making for a very fun and hot 4some experience for you all. Enjoy enjoy enjoy
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Hesione

The arrangement

This arrangement OP could be an amazing experience for all of you or a total disaster.It will mostly depend on what expectactions are placed on your young friend by you and your husband and how comfortable she feels.Because, basically you are the ones with most of the power in this situation.

If you both approach this with intelligence and sensitivity it could be a wonderful arrangement.I am sure you have thought of most of the potential pitfalls such as emotional attachment,sexual jealousy,economic inbalance.

I am assuming that your friend is no older than very early twenties but if she is emotionally mature and confident there is no reason why this couldn't work .

xHugs H

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Litonya   Woman 56yrs

a live in...............

It teaches you always something, for me living with another culture

 

 

I am sharing my home with a 33 year old Nigerian Man, I had two in my home at one stage, one found a great job and moved away.

This one studies in Australia. No, no sex, I treat it as a business, he pays rent ,cookes his own meals and cleans his own room and bathroom, it helps me financialy and him to see what men can do without the help of women and see a different way of life, a very different one hahahah. Very big mental challenge one for him.

  Many people ask me why I have no sex with him. I say, would you fuck your business???? I say no way, it would also change the dynamic on who is boss.  And I am the boss of this home, my rules, sex would change this in an instant.

 

I like sharing with males, its great we get along very well, we both respect each others privacy.Ok the only downsite is I cant have sex in all rooms, I need to go to my bedroom when he is home, and so he too. Cheers Ellen

 

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Meeka100   Woman 42yrs

WTF?

What the fuck is wrong with some of you? Far out! Rent FFS?? Erzulie, don't listen to the "Piss on any parade brigade".


Good for you, you only live once so you may as well enjoy it! Sure it could get messy but then lots of things get messy that is not a reason not to do it. All you can do is be totally open and honest and discuss the expectations everyone has in this situation. Otherwise. WHOO HOO!! You go girl have fun!!!


Meeka xx
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Meeka100   Woman 42yrs

:(

Totally agree with JG.
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jensman1903   Man 49yrs

Come what may.

It could all end horribly but who could tell? Enjoy while you can. Our FWB never actually lived with us but we spent all our spare time together. The physical sie ended when she found the love of her life but she is still our very best friend.

We live in the now. Make the most of it while you can and try to prepare yourselves to part amicably when the time comes.

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ApolloThirteen   Woman 42yrs

Not moral "judgement", 1+1=2

Meeka, I don't think anyone's pissing on the parade, I think they're throwing caution to the wind, playing Devils Advocate, pointing out the pitfalls.  We oftentimes choose not to see the negatives when something seems/feels wonderful.  Im going to piss on the parade too.  The potential issues far outweigh the warm-fuzziness an orgasm leaves.  Who was it recently said prostitution comes in many forms?
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Mr_Outdoors   Man 43yrs

Been there done that

Good for you guys, it takes a great deal of security in yourself and your relationship to be able to enjoy such an arrangement. I did the same thing for a couple of years and for the most part it worked well. Just be mindful that humans are flawed and subject to temptation so enjoy it with both eyes open. Life is about being happy so indulge would be my advice.
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Sensory_fun   Woman 51yrs

Had the opportunity.....

Had several offers from boarders.

 

One in particular offered me his services once a week in exchange for free rent when he fell on difficult financial times.  He was so damn hot I was so tempted to take him up on the offer.   

 

I could just see it going all pear shaped so declined.  Besides my daughter and all her friends had major crushes on him. 

 

My number one house share rule was never play with your boarders.  So glad I kept to that.

 

Hope it all works out well and enjoy the ride while it lasts.

 

SFxx

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neptune_drift   Man 29yrs

Whoa, steady up there, cowboy!

I think you'll find quite deliberately I wrote "personally" and "I think". There wasn't even a measly "you should", which, considering my usual sanctimonious sense of moral-superiority, I think I should be commended for!


As I said, the arrangement is a bit of a fantasy of mine. However, I think it would be naive in the extreme to rush blindly into this with the attitude of "yayayayay threesomes every night, how could this possibly go wrong?!"

Again, for me personally, if I was in this situation, personally, I wouldn't PERSONALLY want the feeling that sex was 'owed', even if it was symbolic, rather than literal. I would want, as you say JG, to think of it as her sexual needs being met too, but I couldn't if it gave me the impression it was just sex-for-rent, and I wouldn't enjoy it nearly as much as I'd like to.

As a side note, I have no problem with prostitution existing, but it's not for me at all. For others, I have varying opinions on it, but no fundamental objections*. If you want a live in prostitute or it doesn't feel that way at all to you go for it, but I THINK you shouldn't be surprised if/when it goes horribly wrong. As Meeka says in her tactful and charming way, being open and honest about your expectations are paramount.

*I couldn't help but be disappointed if I had a daughter who became a prostitute though, but then I don't think that double-standard is unusual!
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neptune_drift   Man 29yrs

Addendum

Quoting 'neptune_drift'

As a side note, I have no problem with prostitution existing, but it's not for me at all. For others, I have varying opinions on it, but no fundamental objections*. If you want a live in prostitute or it doesn't feel that way at all to you go for it, but I THINK you shouldn't be surprised if/when it goes horribly wrong. As Meeka says in her tactful and charming way, being open and honest about your expectations are paramount.

   
I realise that may read as me not thinking it could work. I totally think it could work! I totally hope it would work! It's unbelievably hot! But as Hesione said there are power dynamics that you have to consider, and you have to make sure everybody's on the same page is 100% crucial. (Please note the differences between my statements of fact/normative recommendations, and statements of opinion.)

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wowwow11   Man 40yrs

Wankers

Well surprise surprise

The Moral Police have been talking to the Fun Police and now they want to apply the Handbrake

Fuckem... bunch of self-righteous Tossers ..

Go for it have as much fun as you can and Gloat About it ....

 

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neptune_drift   Man 29yrs

Hmmm

Quoting 'wowwow11'
   

Well surprise surprise

The Moral Police have been talking to the Fun Police and now they want to apply the Handbrake

Fuckem... bunch of self-righteous Tossers ..

Go for it have as much fun as you can and Gloat About it ....


   
You REALLY don't like public servants, do you!
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Meeka100   Woman 42yrs

Appoll13 and the horse she rode in on.


Quoting 'ApolloThirteen'
      Who was it recently said prostitution comes in many forms?    
Well, well no judgements you say? You are joking aren't you Apollo? Tell me do you ever get dizzy up there on your very high horse? You are one of the most judgemental people on the forum at the moment. In fact, and absolute kill joy.

Why you would even make that comment is beyond me. You don't know their situation at all, yet you have to bring it down to the sleaziest level. Congratulations. 

It's a massive thumbs down from me.




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Meeka100   Woman 42yrs

Drifting away...

neptune_drift what are you even talking about? Why would you feel like it is owed? Why can't people do something from the goodness of their heart or just to have some fun without having to bring it down to some sort of bargain or negotiation.
Do you really believe that sex is about that?


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justjuice   Couple Man 55yrs Woman 48yrs

We would love to...

.. be in your position.  Would imagine everybody is secure enough within themself to just go with the flow and enjoy the moment..    Just now' it seems a good tonic for both you and the girl..  She already told you her intentions regarding finding her own partner, so to have some fun while she's waiting cant be such a bad thing...  You all know what's working for you, I cant understand why so many are getting their knickers in a knot unless of course they have jealousy's or insecurities. 
Yes' things could go pearshape ' so watch for the warning signs, but dont stop enjoying yourselves til then...

Enjoy..        Mr & Mrs JJ

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