There was a show on polygamy some months ago on SBS (of course). It showed two groups of people in a relationship.

The first group had one male and two females. The man was straight and the women bi. The man was married to the older of the women and they were looking to change the laws to allow lesbian marriages so that the two woman could be wed (the law on polygamy in their state only specified a man with multiple wives).

The second group was a man with 8 wives all of which was straight. This group seemed to be the freak cult group and didn't seem to co-exist well.

From this I think yes it would be OK to have two wives as long as they were both bi and loved each other as mcuh as they loved me. An all straight union of three or more people would be hard to deal with the interpersonal jelousy.

 if you love more than one why not marry more than one.

on SBS right now, " BIG LOVE "  if you want to watch a show that revolves around Poly relationships.

Cheers Nev

Gotta love a girl who can speak her mind!!

Short answeryes.

Out-dated Victorian, legislative and religious beliefs are other negative reasons why so many of your responses see this as only a fix to have sex on one hand and a slave on the other.  Makes me wonder how your partner is thought of already.

Everyone has the capacity to love more than one person, and I believe that it is only upbringing and your mind that stops you from loving more than one person at a time.  

It took me a little while to get my head around the scenario of a polyamorous relationship, and I believe now that to have 2 husbands and a wife or 2 wives and a husband would be the ultimate in bonding, friendship and life.  Having children growing up with 2 sets of parents would probably give them more stability than one sometimes. 

Mrs F

I am sorry this is long but I wanted to provide some constructive thought to this question. It is encouraging to see that on a site that promotes choice and sexual freedom that serious discussions can be had around subjects like this. It is a little disappointing that some people, while members of this site still make judgements of others.

As the male half of our relationship I have spent 3 years in a previous polygamous relationship and there are many benefits, surprisingly the least would be sexual. There are also many challenges especially around good quality communication and I would strongly advise anyone contemplating such a relationship to think about how they communicate and cope when confronted by two people who disagree with you on the same subject.

The joys of polygamous relationships is that you not only get to share your love and giving spirit with another person but you also get to see two people you love, love one another (and I do not mean sexually at this point). I know this may be strange for some people, especially considering we have been taught all our lives to be jealous of such occasions. To describe the feeling, it is a little like the warmth and joy you feel when you see your partner playing with your children, hugging them and all laughing together. You are happy about that because you are seeing people you love enjoying each other and being a family.

In my opinion, it makes it much easier if you are all open hearted people who have a giving spirit and I do believe some people have just got so much love that one person is just not enough. It is just sad that because of our traditions these people often have to go outside of their family to share that love and then all the problems start.

When you keep it all together, (sort of like swinging) you are all involved in the decisions and in enjoying the benefits as well as the challenges which brings you together even more.

In history societies have accepted polygamous relationships for a range of reasons, usually to adjust to environmental, economic or demographic conditions. Modern society has become fixated on what mostly came from the Roman concept of marriage being 1-1 and anti anything that was supported by any other religion. In more recent times we have seen this in the condemnation of Jewish, Islamic and sections of Mormon religions that continue to practice polygamy.

Because we have become so fixated on these traditions and have further entrenched them by making it illegal to have polygamous marriages, society has stopped adjusting to the circumstances we find ourselves in. In modern times the cost of living has become out of reach for most young couples who ever had the dream of owning their own home. How many people do you ask, how have they have been and their response is “we are just so busy we hardly have time for each other”? How many people wish they could spend more time being with their families, traveling together and even maybe having a second house in the little town you always like to go back to?

Polygamy can address these issues of time and money, because you can have three or more incomes coming into the one house and they don’t all need to be full time. The combined savings are greater and you have an increased capacity to invest financially in property for retirement years. Three or more people sharing a house and all its demands also reduces the workload at home. Us all cooking a meal together was one of the most fun times we would have.  Children receive more dedicated time and support from adults and experience a wider range of education, opinions and views. They also get to see what it takes to communicate well and come to respectful understandings of each other, even if you may not agree.

Sexually, it can be challenging, it required me to have the ability to once again sit back and allow my first partner to be loved by someone else and I know to begin with it was a challenge for her to allow the same. Sometimes we were all together and other times not. Sometime we were all truly making love and other times it was just fun sex (no different to 1-1 relationships)

For the men that think this is about having constant threesomes and fantasies being fulfilled I suggest you get over it. This is about relationship and the first thing you should be asking yourself is could you live with another guy with your wife having both of you? Most women are smart enough to know that would be hard work. You also need to know that for some women when they spend enough time together, their menstrual cycles line up with each other and that can get an interesting week for everyone concerned. I am too young to know what it would be like during menopause or when guys get older and grumpier.

At the end of the day, just like any other relationship to make it work there had to be commitment from all sides with a long term focus. And for us just like 1-1 relationships it unfortunately didn’t last, but the love, compassion and the intensity was just the same as a traditional relationship. We each decided over a period of time we wanted different things in our lives, such as travel, family, purchases and so one by one we moved on. There was never a high level of conflict but rather a great deal of respect for each person’s decisions and I think this was mainly due to the communication we all shared.

For us it was a great time and a wonderful experience,  if the circumstances ever provided the opportunity again I would be happy to do it all over.

Cheers

AmoreWA

You're kidding right?  Twice as much laundry thrown on the floor, twice as much hair in the sink, twice as many "honey can you take out the rubbish".  Twice as many orgasms does not make the desire for two husbands appealing to me.  I'd rather have 1 husband and a boyfriend or two on the side who go back to their own home and do their own laundry.

Mrs D