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To FB or not to FB

Jan 19, 2009
summerof69   Woman 36yrs
Has this ever worked? I have had 2 FB (and I am not talking about FaceBook!! lol) relationships but both have failed. Fault on both sides to be honest. Is it possible?? It IS about having great sex without strings attached but how do you NOT be mates? That shits me! I don't like the idea of being a piece of meat and nothing more, but where are the guidelines? I like the idea of it, but need to know how to make it work. I am very keen to hear of other peoples experiences..
Feb 08, 2009 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Good2bemee   Man 32yrs

Ops

Howdy summerof69, Your FB's, one after the other or simultaneously??? FB's do work, but then again, depends on the individual. Meaning frame of mind. If sex is all your after, and thats all you want, then it will work, its when you cross the line by telling them bout your bad day, or whats the latest with your family dramas and the likes is when it may lead to more if it is reciprocated (spelling??). If your the type of person who is fine with hanging out with a FB, general chit chat and DO NOT think bout them once you leave, then its fine, guess its when you cant wait to see them is when you know you want more from them.. Does that make sense??
Mar 02, 2009 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
BashfulCoupleSA

It's hard to seperate sex from emotions.

That's the long and the short of it. It can work if both parties have no further expectations, but you really have to ask yourself: If this fails, will I regret losing a friendship for the sake of some sex on the side?
Mar 02, 2009 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
litle_red_engin

i'm running at 5 out of 6.

over the last 20 or so years i've had about 6 shagg buddies (or what ever term you find fits) and only 1 was a bad experiance.  so i think it works quite well. given i've had great sex with people that were just good friends and some pretty average sex with people i've really loved.  i don't feel there is much connection between your emotions and sex.  good sex is about chemistry.  emotions are about much much more.  i feel the link people often try to draw between love and sex cheapens love to some extent. LRE(talking up the love)
Mar 05, 2009 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
bearcple

Not likely

Our experience with single guys has been that they just want to fuck then move onto the next piece of meat. Unfortunately most arent looking for chit chat as they class that as a "relationship".
Mar 16, 2009 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
lilmissfussy

ahhh ...

a matter close to me .. being new to the FB scene ... I'm pretty clear what I want - great sex, experimentation, reasonable time together including overnight now and then eg not a 45 min fuck and run, and hanging out from time to time, just casually as friends eg dinner, movies.  But not a relationship - despite what men think. The guy must be decent, respectful, and in charge :P But alas, tis rare I think.  Guys tend to think the above list = commitment, dammit!
Mar 27, 2009 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
funkyclothes   Couple Man 27yrs Woman 29yrs

could work....

Few years ago I had my first FB, not exactly a fairytale ending to it, but we made it work for a few months. I think the trick is to not try and make it go too long. If you spend enough time with someone (especially naked lol) you tend to end up in a mini relationship before you know it. I think thats just something human, no matter how much we fight it. Its a lot of fun to try thou lol
Jul 21, 2009 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
sinep09   Couple Man 53yrs Woman 43yrs

FB's

Hey Summer, I have to support Funkyclothes on this one. If any FB relationship goes on for a while with regular meetings it changes it's dynamic eventually. FB's work if you do not meet too regularly or exclusivley. FB's work well if you are into a group or swinging scene as you get the variety you may want with out the ties. But if it is one on one every couple of weekends or what ever, it becomes a relationship if you spend time together chatting or what ever..... eventually you have to talk about something else other than the small talk shit, and bingo unless your boundries are set...it's a relationship... Lilmissfussy is right about that, most guys do think that way. Sorry babe guess you still need to find the right FB. xxx
Jul 25, 2009 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
shortpom   Woman 48yrs

FB's

I've had a few FB's in my time & trying to seperate the emotional from the physical is hard, especially after some "pillow talk", but it can be done.  I have been up front with some of the guys letting them know that I'd like a LTR (long term relationship), most of them have stated that they only want to be an FB, fine no real skin off my nose I can handle that.  Until I contact them seeing if they want to get together for an evening of fun & I'm told they've found someone they want to settle down with & commit too!!  This has happened with the last 4 FB's I've had.  Seems I'm re-introducing them to sex & building their confidence up in meeting women again!! I'm seriously thinking of giving up sex with people & just playing with my toys that way I get satisfaction when I want - no disappointment, no questions asked / answered, or putting up with the waiting around until they have time.  That is until the next guy catches my eye!!
Aug 18, 2009 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
levendei   Man 37yrs

My rules

From my experience its about being up front from the beginning. If its your intention to just have a FB u have to tell the female. You cant string her along then tell her ur not interested in a relationship. You need to control emotions. You can listen to their problems, be a friend, after all, the FB isnt a prostitute. They have feelings and u need to show some respect!

Oct 26, 2009 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
casualbedbuddy

FB or not FB?

FB can work but they can fail big time too. I've had a few FB's but unfortunately the ladies seemed to get too attatched to me, even when they knew it was just a physical thing to begin with. That sounds conceited of me but it happens. One FB wanted me to leave my wife (who has FB's of her own)! We have rules that we tell our FB's upfront. Number one rule was "no sleepovers". I wake up with my wife and go to sleep with her, NO exceptions!

 

 Other rules are a time limit for play (max 6 hours), one night a month only, no gifts, and ALWAYS ALWAYS safe sex. We have other rules but they concern us.

Nov 14, 2009 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
seducenu   Man 41yrs

FB or not FB?

there great to start with  but after a few times together your lives either start to clash or usually if the fliting has gone on for a long time before you have sex and have been resisted for some time the power of control can shift with one thrust!

 

Feb 23, 2010 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
gimmeitall   Woman 42yrs

LOVE IT

 i have 2 f/b , both are completely different , #1 is a go'er , he only needs 5 seconds to be ready again ,

#@ is a devo , someone i can get down and dirty with ,

i love the fact we arnt mates or buddies , I am being looked after for a change , i know its selfish but ,,,,, i have been making sure everyone else has what they need , NOW ITS MY TURN

Feb 28, 2010 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
travisxx   Man 48yrs

Love it!

Hey, if you can get it all, go for it all!
May 25, 2010 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
honeypieADL   Woman 41yrs

bought the t-shirt

Quoting 'travisxx'
                                  Hey, if you can get it all, go for it all!                                
so true!
Feb 15, 2011 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
xxWomaneater

Reassurance

Hmmm, I am new to this FB scene. After 22 yrs of marriage failing the last thing I want is a relationship. I found a FB through friends and it turns out that if you are upfront about expectations there will not be a problem. Reasuarance helps as well, just as in a relationship ppl look for reasuarance, FB's also need assurances that you are not crossing the dreaded relationship line. Bye the way, I find the whole naughtiness of FB's just makes the sex even better.

Mar 25, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
FunStory   Man 40yrs

There's no way out.............

I have been on both sides.
Been a FB and wanted a FB.

Three experiences.
One with a woman which went on and off for three years. The excitement did dwindle.
One which was for 18 months which became a good friendship, so the sex stopped.
One which became a fail, as after 4 weeks, she asked me to see her exclusively, then wanted to come to a family function.

If you're going to be involved with someone sexually, over a period of time, you will develop a friendship. It's unavoidable. Unless you are just a physical being, it's always unavoidable.

You're having sex with someone over a period of time. How are you to know what each other enjoys, wants to experiment with? How do you get better sex from that partner? You talk, ask questions. Have pillow talk.

Developing a friendship is unavoidable because you are sharing some pretty close intimacy.
And being friends doesn't take away from better sex.
You don't need to be "Out of Bedroom friends" but you can still get to know a little more without becoming closely entwined in each others lives.

Otherwise, you're searching for a new buddy every three months or so, because it just loses excitement.

Choose wisely.

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