Im in a different kind of relationship ....Distant ....but some times I feel the need and want and urge to visit one...

 

I dont go to brothels and I dont do  one niters but for a single guy who has a gf in another state. who considers himself intelligent and not bad on the eye and can hold a conversation on many levels and is a good listener I am soo nervous about it all.

 

I soo want to experience different pleasures and different women however I need a bit of ...omg lost for words...mojo?.

 

I really like the contact and the want and the need to fulfill and pleasure...maybe its me !!!

 I will one day im sure

Atomic

Psssst...This topic has posted 3 times, so I'm just going to reply on the first one *giggle*

 

While we've often wanted to go to a swingers club, we haven't ever been to one.  I could come up with a few good reasons...work commitments, lack of a baby-sitter etc, but truth be told, I think that I am just too nervous and unsure what to expect.  I seem to have this picture in my mind that all the people/couples who attend clubs/venues such as CI are slim, athletic, drop dead gorgeous, charismatic creatures and, as a fairly 'average bear' (ok, perhaps a little on the cuddly side LOL) I just wouldn't fit in.

 

 

Guess we're guilty of the notion that those who attend venues such as the one you mention are full of over confident nudists just waiting to try and root the arse off us as soon as we walk in the door. LOL..   I know im probally wrong... I would rather think that we could just roll up'  sit back and observe whats happening then once comfortable ozze ourselves into whatever without any pressure.   Its just the not knowing that tends to hold you back.

Ideally 'we would perfer to meet someone experienced and then perhaps tag along with them.  

 Its must be just like ur first day at kindy....   terrifying   LOL

Anyway' Im very happy to stand corrected on any of our fears' Im sure someone can enlighten us. ?

 

 

Yes we have.....

Went to one in sydney and it was dreadful but then went to CI and it was awesome, did I do it the answer is no (I actually dont just jump into bed with just anyone although all the people there were really lovely).  I had a great night though and found all sorts of people there from buff to normal, everyone much more friendly and relaxed then  at a normal club.  I suggest that everyone tries it at least once, at least you will make some new friends out of the experience.

Yes we have been to a few clubs it always a great thrill for us,its the not knowing what will happen that makes it a good nite out.I love dressing up, i would'nt dress like that to go to a normal club. If theres  noone interesting to us we just make use of the rooms ourselves, its always funny when we return to the crowd, i look like i've been up to something and my husband has that silly smile that men get after sex.

I thought when I saw the topic ... oh here we go again.. but started to read the post and thought ok this is slightly different.

Truth be told, I (Kaz) had never been to a swingers club nor done any group stuff in my life prior to meeting my now hubby (5 years ago).  I was scared as hell when he organised my first 'group' session with 4 other people (talk about being thrown in the deep end)... but wow what an experience ... (it was at his house first not a club or party).... then just over a year later we (myself, stuart and a good friend 'T') started up Partyinsatiable... and we went against the trend of so many parties around... it was a Gangbang .. and with that Players only. 

My Husband designed the website so that anyone thinking of coming along would be able to decide for themselves if it was for them or not as it is full on.  (for on there we have our rules/philosophy etc)

Now this is only 'swingers' party I have ever been to... but my husband has been to many different ones around melb... some are still going, some have gone to swingers heaven..... so I cant compare.

I was honestly scared shitless when we had our first party ... but nearly 4 years on ... the ones who come along...and are 'regulars' are like old friends.  We only go by first names only ... but some of them I have given nicnames to....ie: one of the guys always brings this beautiful mint - it does wonders in more ways than one... so hence his nic is Minty ... and everyone knows him by that...

Swingers parties are not for everyone....some can be quite daunting to say the least... But I think if ppl would like to go to one of these parties, if you already swing with another couple... go as a group so you already know someone there, takes the nerves away....

Once again ... Good topic to have Sal....

I get to get all dressed up. I love doing that, as a PT most of my day is spent in joggers and shorts.  I get myself a nice bottle of wine and Andy a couple of coronas and we head to CI. When we arrive, we sign in at the door then take our drinks to the bar. Bryan and Leesa greet everyone with a smile. The bartender pours a drink and we might take a walk around, say hello to any familiar faces, say hi to the people in chatroom and watching the ci cam then head back downstairs for a game of pool...it is like an evening in a club/bar should be. Friendly conversation a round of pool and a few drinks. I feel so comfortable their that Andy and I will sometimes mingle separately. More often than not we will head up to one of the bedrooms and play, just the two of us. I love it when we do that, it puts me in the mood and I get my moment with Andy all to myself...for it means that if we do play, I ease up alot, I am relaxed, horny and all in all I find it easier to let go. If you are unsure, then it is a great idea to go with someone else, but even as a couple I find it a better place to share a drink with Andy than other bars/clubs I have been to. It is not so in your face and you can very easily sit back and take it all in and observe without pressure do any more than just that. My best advice, go with an open mind and no expectations. If you are a couple then enjoy each others company and whatever else happens is a bonus. if you are single and unsure, find a couple or another single...it is comforting to have a familiar face around, but for the most part the patrons are friendly and they are always respectful and welcoming. xx Salina

I have been reading and feel i need to write to this one, i dont want to be seen as bias, but i just want to let you know where i came from when we created CI, CI is not like any other swingers club. We are more of a nightclub style venue, with the opportunity to have sex if you choose. When we first started on the scene, (18 years ago) bryan and i would walk into clubs or house parties and i would instantly feel like a piece of meat, single guys sitting around naked playing with their cocks, girls getting fucked by heaps of old scary men, some not even using condoms. Naked people everywhere with dicks in your faces .. When the opportunity arose for us to give everyone a venue like I wanted, we jumped at the chance. Mind you there we those that hated the style, you see they liked the thought of the group orgy the nakedness walking around, the guys standing in the corner etc......and they slagged us so bad for a long time for changing the lifestyle to what we knew was needed. We just lapped it up and carried on, we received horrible emails from old patrons saying that we were not a swingers club but a social club....Our attitude to them was ....come along and check it out and see for yourself before you believe what everyone else tells you. I decided to make sure our single guys were selected and not just phoned in and accepted. That is why we have a process that the single guys go through to be able to enter our venue. When we did this we were told.....that is discrimination.... Well no it is not, we choose to invite single guys to our venue after selection, it is not a right of entry for them. We choose to only accept single guys from rhp , from 5 years of the wonderful guys we have had enter our venue from this site. THey must supply a face picture , this is not about looks, but about confidence. You see our single ladies dont want to meet married men playing up on their wives and most guys that are married wont have face pictures on their profiles. We ask for respect and courteousy, and if we do find out a single guy is pretending to be a single guy and is in fact married and playing up, we will evict and never allow them to return. We got trashed for that one too, but our thoughts on the matter are...if you wanna play up go to the other clubs dont bring it here...that is not what we are about. Couples are of all shapes and sizes that attend CI, there is not a simple stereo type at all. In fact we get from 18-60's prob and they all know how to socialize and talk to each other. I am 45 and Bryan is 58 and we can talk and laugh with any aged person it is about communication. We saw a need for a club that you can feel comfortable and not pressured, that rules are abided by, and you dont ever have to have a naked guys penis in your face if you dont want to see it... The no naked walking around rule is for this reason...."i dont know where it has been and i dont want it touching me" so why should i have to look at it if i dont want to. Keep it away till you play and then when finished simply get dressed.. Not too much to ask we dont fee. Then the choice is ours if we choose to watch if they are playing in the open. I will now tell you what i hope to achieve for you as a couple when you attend Couples International. You see we as couples , some have young children, money problems, fighting .....etc..... You take a step to go to our club, you talk about it, it makes you think and feel a little naughty. You both then attend our venue, you are greeted, and toured and made to feel welcome. You look around, it seems that people know eachother...well that is simply not the case, yes there are a few people like at any night out that do know eachother, it doesnt make them clicky...it just makes them friends. The rest of the people are chatting and playing pool and mingling, you see the people in this lifestyle like to chat, it may look like they all know eachother , but most of the time they have just met tonight. You walk around the venue, you chat you play a game of pool and have a dance... You may see girls playing on stage, you may see someone getting a massage , you may see people having sex, you may see a lot of things.... You dont do anything....you go laugh, have fun and then drive home. On the way home you may have to stop the car to have some fun like when you were teenagers...fucking on the side of the road, in the carport when you get home...then you get home and have great sex from the excitement you have seen in the night. Then........ When you wake up in the morning beside your partner...you simply forget about all the fighting, the crap bills, the work problems, the kids and the mortage...and look at eachother and say. "OMG where were we last night " and laugh.... THAT IS ALL I HOPE TO ACHIEVE BY GIVING YOU OUR CLUB. COUPLES INTERNATIONAL.

Couplestint / SalAndy.     Both of your posts were good reading and certainly enlightened us to what is available. After reading everyones explaination I feel the CI approach would be our choice without doubt.  

 I wasnt wrong with my assumption about some clubs being like a meat market and Im sure there would be many like us who have held back attending a swingers club for that very same reason.  Who wants a group of naked horny old men coming onto your wife ? or the parade of single guys who seem to think everyone wants to see their dicks ? Dicks are not good to see if the person attached to it isnt.

Ideally' we would rather a good laugh over a few drinks in a relaxed enviorment and then if something happens ...so be it... 

Seems like Leesa and Bryan from CI seized on a golden opportunity and opened a club that caters for the people like us who perfer to have a choice on when and what we would like experience.  Only trouble is' we live in Sydney..   

Having said that we've been to a couple of swing clubs in Perth, and although it's hit and miss with the people in attendance (in terms of who we are willing to play with), we have met lots of friendly people and made to feel very welcome and at at ease at the venues.

 

I think that the clubs are (like this website) a great way of meeting and communicating with the swinging community... even if you don't find a couple to play with everytime.

 

It's hard to speak to friends and family about our lifestyle, so it's great to have an extended "family" of like minded swingers around to chat to whether that's through this site or in swinger clubs.

Kileetrev, can you tell us where you've tried, and what the patrons were like?

We are keen to try some clubs, but would prefer to hear some real world experiences first before we choose the one that sounds more suited to us.

rockercouple. Your question about "what the couples are like" is usually not able to be answered by anyone really, you see no one books to attend venues, so no one would know who is attending on any night. We get that question all the time and we wish we could have a crystal ball to tell the people exactly who is attending on any given night, but it is really like calling a nightclub and asking them who is coming to tonight and how many will be there. Just treat the venue that you attend like any club that you may want o attend, go there, dont expect anything and just have fun. If you dont mingle with others, you will have a bad night. If you are worried "what sort of people (looks, size, attitude) are going to  be there , you prob shoud not attend. THere are all types of people that go to swingers venues, each night is different....each night different people do different things...there is no typical night just like at any club ( nightclub etc) that you may attend in the "real world", give them all a go and check them all out , dont take others people advice on what they like, as you may just like what they didnt. CHoose a club that is suited to you after you have visited them all. After all, no skin off your nose, you may have some bad experiences and you may have some laughs, just never take it too seriously and dont not go to another just because you didnt like the first one you went to. We wish everyone could experience CI, but some get scared off after going to other clubs and never really get the feel of what WE are about, as they are too scared to come to us then. Make your own choices, go for a night out...and go with an attitude of ...."we are gonna be together and have an experience"....and I am sure you will both have a ball, if not...at least a laugh. Leesa

Was more looking for a general run down... eg: this club is more of a social club, this one is larger and tends to attract an older crowd, this one is more of a nudist club, etc etc.

Not going to take someone's word on a forum and run with it, just use it as a guideline.

"would walk into clubs or house parties and i would instantly feel like a piece of meat, single guys sitting around naked playing with their cocks, girls getting fucked by heaps of old scary men, some not even using condoms. Naked people everywhere with dicks in your faces" from ci's post is exactly how i pictured a swingers club. i was so scared about going and having to play or being pushed to play that i would not even entertain the idea when i was asked to go a few yrs ago by a friend. since then i have spoken to Leesa and Trendy and i feel comfie about going when we are in bris next. we have even talked to other people who want to come with us. so when we are in bri for sexpo and maybe even earlier we will b going to ci and chatting and playing pool. and if we feel like it play. who knows but im sure we will have fun in what we are told is a very friendly and safe place. i know im going to need somone to hold my hand but i am excited about going

Mrs Bal

 

Yuo i understand, but what some people say about a club, could have only been THAT night, and therefore you are hearing from a small scope. Check them out for yourself and make your own mind up is all i was trying to say. Happy hunting...and enjoy the lifestyle while you do. Instance: if someone came to our club on a Thursday night, ( quieter night for checking the club out), and then went away and told everyone that there was only 15-20 couples there ....etc...that person that they told may never come along on a friday or saturday night to experience the club on a normal night...that is all. If another ccouple went to a club and there were a heap of older people there on the night they went....and then told everyone there were only older people there, then those people might shy away from going another night that was filed with younger couples etc... That was the point i was just trying to make. It is important to check them out for yourself...and then choose the right one for you, dont take what other people say as a guide to where to go and where not to pleaseeeeee. Every night changes... Leesa

Hey SalAndy

Great post and i had a good time reading it all

i have been to two clubs and both were great fun  and while i was still nervous  i still had fun.

Most of the time i have gone to CI since then i have pretty much gone all on my own and have continued to have fun not only because i have met alot of great people and friends there but its a great atmosphere to be surrounded in.

Sonsie if you want to come along as we live close together i am more than welcome to take you along if you want i know what its like going for the first time as i still remember my first time there too. But once you get there and you see what its all about you'll have a blast and will be coming back for more guaranteed.

I can only say to people that are thinking of going try it out it may not be your thing and thats fine but you will never know if you dont try.

tale care

bris

I remember the first time we went to a swingers club, CI it was. We had pre conceived ideas on what we might expect at a club. We thought we would walk in and see people fucking everywhere and mrs pip was worried about being hit on and pressured to do stuff by others. Well I can tell you now it was far from the truth. Its like going to a bar, you have a few drinks, play some pool, have a dance and socialise.The only difference is that you can be how you want to be. You can dress how you want to and no one looks weird at you,you can fuck where you want to, either in one of the private rooms or out in the open for others to see. For us its such a comfortable place to be. No one hassels you, they may ask but you can say NO and we have and there was no dramas from anyone. Me and mrs pip are pretty out there these days but we have never swung at a club, we fuck each other there in the open cause we like being watched but for us it's more of a social thing, we keep the swinging for at home. You're meeting people there that think the same as you and are there for the same reasons as you so basically we're all in the same boat.

Go and check CI out, nothing to be scared about, you'll have a ball. We have been a few times now and are looking forward to our next CI visit....and if you go on a theme night that is a lot of fun too.

mr pip

Have been to the Lotus Lounge and the Couples clubs and yes there is always a debate about which is best, but either way, you don't get attacked when you walk in. You dont have to undress and there is plenty of space to socialise etc. I think that the clubs where there are probably lots of "undesirable' men walking around naked would probably be the ones where they let anyone in and aren't essentially couples clubs and where most of the females are paid to be there.

JUSTJUICE IF YOU TRY ANY OF THE COUPLES CLUBS, i'm sure you will be pleasantly surprised. There is no pressure to play you can just go and socialise if you wish to do so.

Good luck