Ridiculous experiences

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Ridiculous experiences

    | Sep 15, 2012
neptune_drift   Man 31yrs
Quite boozed. Stories. Go!
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Freya13

worst drunken experience.

Many years ago when I lived in Melborne,I went to a friends birthday party with an ex, who I had just recently started dating again.It was a disaster , we had a huge argument and he left the party.I continued to drown my sorrows and when it came time to catch a cab home,I realized he had left with my wallet which I had given to him for safe keeping.I then proceeded to walk home...in the wrong direction...It wasn't long before I felt a little weary and decided to take a nap,curled up around a very cosy fire hydrant in Smith Street Collingwood.

That was the last thing I remember until I woke up in a cell, with a policeman shaking his finger at me saying''the evils of drink young woman,the evils of drink"

I was sooo mortified that I couldn't even bring myself to phone a friend, so I walked the walk of shame all the way home to St.Kilda,which took me about four hours in my extremely hung over state.

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LittleRedEngine

If I had not read some of your other stuff neptune..

I'd say this was the laziest post ever ~LOL~


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Janeymay

Still boozed Neptune?

Or is it hangover time.... Played out one of my bucket list fantasies the other week. Thought I'd share it with you Neptune D We'd been messaging for about 2 weeks. His first message (and pic;) grabbed my attention with its sensuality and tantalising promises...I had to respond ! Messages of this nature continued and we spoke quite a few times . he had a voice that still makes my pussy twinge when i think about it, deep and so sexy each conversation verbalising the messages we had toyed and teased each other with. It was hot! He had that edginess that I find incredibly appealing- tattoos, blue collar and intelligent.. So we decide to meet , with me laying on the bed in the hotel room, naked , darkened room. He had access to come in. I knew it was risky , I'd told a good friend details just in case. ultimately I did trust him. But the risk was the rush. He text me when he was 5 minutes away, it was the longest 5 minutes ever! heart pounding pussy aching. Finally I heard the door open , footsteps towards the bed, clothes being dropped to the floor, I could smell his cologne...i felt his hard naked body slide in beside me . I lay expectantly on my stomach, he went straight to my feet, licking, nibbling and gliding his tongue up my silky legs. I gasped with the anticipation of his touch that I'd being longing for. His warm wet kisses continued till my back was arching begging for him to go and taste my sweet nectar. He new what I wanted but teased me more , licking and flicking along my inner thigh until he firmly raised my hips so I was doggy style . His tongue covered all of me , going where I love to be touched and licked, making my body rock back and forth in rhythm with his strokes. Juices ran down my legs, hands grasping frantically at each others bodies, hungrily , desperately. Warmth spreading over my body , legs starting to twitch as I felt pleasure mounting from ever corner within. He could sense my peak building and slid a finger inside me to work with his agile tongue , it was all I needed for that final push to start the waves of pleasure riding through me . First a few small cries as I released that build up but soon I couldn't hold back crying out and gripping at the sheets as he continued to stroke and flick. We collapsed together both covered in sweat, my juices and me still shaking and quivering ...and satisfied...well for at least another few minutes .. Insatiable Minxy x
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Janeymay

Lol

Guess what ? I'm still asleep and didn't read the word "ridiculous " rofl. Too funny! Sorry wasn't a ridiculous one at all...maybe me not reading the title properly can be my ridiculous story, bahaha Xx Still in bed and too lazy to run.
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Bathsheba   Woman 38yrs

Too funny minx

I was a good story though the whole time I was reading it I was worried about what was going to eventuate!
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Bathsheba   Woman 38yrs

Bah

I meant 'it'. I am more of a fable than a story.
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Freya13

jsk6767

since you asked..lol...as pickled as a cucumber...of the dill variety.
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slippery_halo   Man 28yrs

Man in a suit reclining on your nature strip. Invite him in!

After a bit of a disastrous attendence at a wedding and rather a lot of alcohol consumed on my part, a nice lady in her early 50s found me reclining on her nature strip. She invited me in so I could use a phone charger, none fit. We had some wines, talked, then had quite amazing sex and laughed with each other all night. It was great and the most completely randomly fortunate ridiculous sexual encounter of my life.

 

GO ME!

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Freya13

slippery

I have a nature strip
Sep 16, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
randydevo   Man 49yrs

Freya13

I enjoy landing on nature strips..mmm.. ;)
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brave__heart

I have a few actually

Hence I don't really drink these days :) Two examples ... Vegas, drunk but not staggering at a club, met some Aussie rugby players, ended up getting in a car with one who took my fancy, and heading waaaaaay out to the suburbs. Eek. Next morning I had to have a little tantrum to get driven back to the strip in time to jump back on my bus tour. It was touch and go there for a bit, and Vegas is a bit light on for public transport, especially on a Sunday morning. Sydney, drunk in honour of a friend's birthday, met a cute American sailor who rescued me from the toilet floor and took me back to his hotel room, covered in vomit, to sleep it off. Perfect gentleman :) My fave story is not mine though - a girl friend got frisky outdoors and when she and the boy got up to walk home she didn't have any pants on. Which she didn't realise until the next morning, when she had to do the walk of shame back to retrieve them :) Must have been a sight, a half dressed woman wandering along busy streets. Did I mention I don't drink anymore? :)
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neptune_drift   Man 31yrs

Urkglblrfffffth

So. Erm. Right. Where was I? LRE, it does look lazy, but I have the vaguest of memories from trying to rewrite that three or four times to fix the spelling, so there was a lot of effort that went into that very little outcome! It followed an epic, disgraceful session that started around lunchtime. I've got all the badges of honour: mystery cuts and scrapes all up and down my legs that I have no memory of. Lost phone. Having lots of money at the start of the day in my wallet, then checking it the next day to find $5 left. A feeling of dread that I made some totally obnoxious and boorish comments to a friend of a friend about how great she looked in hot pants - which were repeated seven or eight times until she "had to go". A few cheeky pashes at the end of the night with another very attractive friend, that maybehopefully will be followed up on.

All in all, a wonderful, ridiculous, somewhat self-destructive day, the likes of which I hadn't seen for some time, and won't see for some time again.

Which of course pales in comparison to Freya's and Slippsy's stories! AWESOME (in the archaic and contemporary senses, in that order.) And Minxy, I enjoyed your story thoroughly. Feel free to ignore my semi-coherent ramblings and launch off on tales of your own erotic sexscapades any time!

And for the record, weirdly no throbbing headache the next day, just a stomach like a washing machine. Which is just as well, because I got the call from work at 11:00am: "There's a problem (not of my doing), can you come in?" "Can it wait a few hours?" "Are you hungover?" "...Still boozed."

*sigh*
Sep 16, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Funlover71   Man 43yrs

Lesbian????

One drunken evening, in a niteclub, a lady started talking to me. Early in the night she informed me she was a lesbian and hadn't slept with a guy for over 10 years. Long story short, after I woke up in her bed the next day, thinking " how, what happaned" I realised I couldn't remember her name. Thank god for mobiles. I asked her to save her number in my phone and confidently said, as I was leaving, " Thanks for a great night, Leanne". We had quite a few " lesbian" experience over the next few weeks.
Sep 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
wiccan_beltane   Woman 46yrs

Oh......a friend of mine...

....just yesterday started by sending me a text message at approximately 2am, accompanied by a picture of his very erect penis. I looked at it, put my phone down and thought "I'll deal with that later, much later". Later on, I replied with "oh, what were you doing up at 2 am?" to which I was informed he had been to engagement party and had more than just a few drinks. Yesterday, until early afternoon, I received text messages advising me what he was going to do along with videos to prove he had done it.

 

I got a huge apology this morning as this was ground we had never trodden with eachother before (and I'm hoping we never will either).

 

Not that I don't like stuff like that, but with the right person and not someone I've been goo mates with for a very long time.

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