Poetry

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Poetry

Jun 24, 2012
swinging4fun

There was a young girl from Pitlochry

Who once made love in a rockery

She turned to her chum

Said these stones hurt my bum

This isn't a fuck it's a mockery.

 

OK that one is from Lesley Thomas (Virgin Soldiers fame) but I'm not posting mine up here, you buggers would steel them But how would receiving some humorous odes or rhymes go down, particularly you single ladies, even the ones looking for "manly men"

Has any one had something like that.

 

Follow the above with something like

"S rockeries are out, where do you want to meet?"

Jun 24, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
ApolloThirteen   Woman 42yrs

I apologise for this in advance....

There was a young lady from Kew
Who filled her vagina with glue.
She said (with a grin),
"If they pay to get in,
They can pay to get out of it too!"
Jun 24, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Hesione

pohemm

There once was a boy from Kilcoy

Who had a yen to be a toy

On RHP he posted only

To be roasted  and now he's a

Sheep not a ram

Jun 25, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Smilingwithfun   Man 53yrs

Poetry

The boy stood on the burning deck

His pockets full of crackers

One fell down between his legs

And blew off his Knackers

Jun 25, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Taipan12   Man 47yrs

1101..

 

 

He can play night or day,

so come and have some fun

so  make your own way.

i am at 1101...

Jun 25, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Meeka100   Woman 43yrs

For you swinging4fun.... Not sure if this is what you are after but it's Monday morning and I am tired!!

HIM:
Twinkle twinkle little slut, I knew you'd like it up the butt


HER: Twinkle twinkle my dear chum Won't you cum deep in my bum


:D
Jun 25, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
jensman1903   Man 50yrs

Hehehe, now Meeka, THAT is intetellectualising.

Okay, then, my turn,...

...Ummm, ...

...I got nothing.

Jun 25, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
wowwow11  

Man 40yrs

Arm Garage

When she was a little girl she had her special thing

And when she went to bed at night she would slip her finger in

But now that she is older her thing has lost its charm

And now it takes her fingers and half her fucking arm

Jun 25, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
50zcool

Adult Dating

I posted this a while back but thought it could use a wider audience

What do I want?

How do I feel ?

Is this what I want ?

Is this how I feel ?

Beautiful big boobies.

Couples with toys.

And big well hung toy boys who also like boys.

Smiles full of promice.

And scowls of contempt.

The profiles march by and tempt and tempt and tempt.

I'm only eighteen will you be my Dad.

I'll piss on your face, please spank me, I'm bad.

And then there's the one who's just looking at you.

you message and wait and wait for your cue.

A message ! An answer, the mouse is too slow, open you bastard, Oh please don't say NO !

Oh fuck she likes me ! She'a laughing and keen. Should I play a bit coy or just vent my spleen.

The world doesn't exist for the next couple of days, the emails and texts spear in through the haze.

And the meeting, first glance, the hug, the smiles, the party in my pants !

Her smell is alluring her smile disarms, the warmth in her loins is calling my glans.

Leaving is hard, her eyes how they beckon, she want's me again, should I stay ? Do you reckon ?

Home alone, with only the memory, of her whispers, caresses and awesome firm mammories !

Turn on the computer, log on to the site, Oh fuck she's online, perusing the pages, oh shit, okay. She's been on for ages.

NEXT !

RR

Jun 25, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
swinging4fun

Talent

WOW Who would have thought all this talent was hidden in here . We should all line up on the next Australia's got talent.

 

Poetry for devients

 

 

Jun 26, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
lovman8   Man 61yrs

Well

There was a horn young man with the name of Rick,
Who unfortunately was born with a cork screw dick
All his life he did hunt,
For a girl with a corkscrew cunt,
At last he found her and got her to bed,
Only to find she was left hand thread.
Jun 26, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
ApolloThirteen   Woman 42yrs

lovman - you take me back!

Regime de Vivre, written by John Wilmot - the  Earl of Rochester was (I believe) one of the first times the word "cunt"was used in poetry.
This piece was written in the mid 1600's.
(So mom and dad - stop with all that "we never used language like that back in our day..)


"Regime de Vivre".

I rise at eleven, I dine about two,
I get drunk before seven, and the next thing I do,
I send for my whore, when for fear of a clap,
I spend in her hand, and I spew in her lap;

Then we quarrel and scold, till I fall fast asleep,
When the bitch growing bold, to my pocket does creep.
Then slyly she leaves me, and to revenge the affront,
At once she bereaves me of money and cunt.

If by chance then I wake, hot-headed and drunk,
What a coil do I make for the loss of my punk!
I storm, and I roar, and I fall in a rage.
And missing my whore, I bugger my page.

Then crop-sick all morning I rail at my men,
And in bed I lie yawning till eleven again.
Jun 26, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Futurenomads   Couple Man 47yrs Woman 41yrs

Three Baby

Quoting 'Meeka100'
HIM:
Twinkle twinkle little slut, I knew you'd like it up the butt


HER: Twinkle twinkle my dear chum Won't you cum deep in my bum


:D
One two three
meeks make three
Brit spears - three
uncensored  international musical- three

Jun 26, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
LittleRedEngine   Man 50yrs

lim-er-ik

i heard there's this lass on the net,
her panties considerably wet,
a dark room in her house,
sitting wiggling her mouse,
she's after all she can get...

BA-BOOM..
Jun 26, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
LittleRedEngine   Man 50yrs

@ApolloThirteen

    ApolloThirteen wrote ~~~
Regime de Vivre, written by John Wilmot - the  Earl of Rochester was (I believe) one of the first times the word "cunt"was used in poetry.
This piece was written in the mid 1600's.
(So mom and dad - stop with all that "we never used language like that back in our day..)

awesome history lesson..
you get a thumb from me!!
Jun 27, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
stuckinthemiddle   Man 33yrs

Poetry?

Not as fancy as ApolloThirteen's 17th century poetry but here goes:

There once were two maidens from Aberystwyth,
Who made love with the lips that they kissed with,
But as they grew older,
they also grew bolder:
Making love with the lips that they pissed with.

xx Stuck
Jun 27, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
ApolloThirteen   Woman 42yrs

Here's history!

Quoting 'LittleRedEngine'
   

awesome history lesson..
you get a thumb from me!!
   
Pfft!
A thumb??  Do you bite your thumb at *me Sir? 

Jun 27, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Ghostbusters

please forgive me but....

I read this one on the toilet wall in a truckstop once:-

 

Here I sit broken hearted,

Dying for a shit,

And only farted!!

 

I, however, like the following :-

 

There was a young man from Thoona,

Who loved to go under the doona,

As he went down,

Under her gown,

He reckoned it smelt like tuna!!

 

love ya work folks by the way!!

 

 

Jun 27, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Ghostbusters

ermmm

Quoting 'jensman1903'

Okay, then, my turn,...

...Ummm, ...

...I got nothing.


That's very much unbecoming of you jensman :p
Jun 29, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
LittleRedEngine   Man 50yrs

i've been pffttt'd

but my sexual preference will be unchanged..

Quoting 'ApolloThirteen'
   
Quoting 'LittleRedEngine'
   

awesome history lesson..
you get a thumb from me!!
   
Pfft!
A thumb??  Do you bite your thumb at *me Sir? 
actually...
I do..
~i shiver a little as i do so~
   

Jun 29, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
slinkey   Woman 46yrs

there was a young girl from nantucket..

(can probably guess the rest)

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