I know. What is it about some swingers that make them want to MORALISE others? Everyone has circumstances and your circumstances at home s are nobody's business but yours honest_Clean_fun. BUt you do know that you're going to get caught sooner or later, right. I mean, these things can only end badly although it doesn't have to cause the end of a marriage. People are capable of reaching all kinds of relationships by agreement. Live and let love.

 

Hugs

Stalky

if and when you do get caught, is it worth having to lose your wife over it?! if you love her that much, u would keep to urself and just use ur handy! I think its alright to swing when both parties know about it or in the case of bisexuals....well i dont really consider it cheating if ur doing it with the same sex as urself :P

I hear you, frustrated, couples therapy. It doesnt mean I understand you. I have been married just over a year. I am the one who always wants sex but my husband always has a different excuse. Then I find chat sites and porn sites on the pc saying he is looking for all sorts of sex and he is horny. He is just never horny with me. So us women we can never win, You guys always want more. I would be ok if he came out to me that he wants to try new stuff but it seems that I am just the boring wife  who he claims to love. So you are worng for being on here or any other site etc.. it is cheating if she doesnt know or if she isnt involved in it whether you like it or not. Take it from someone with a broken heart. Seriously what would  you do if she was cheating on you? A WOMAN HAS NEEDS as well... stop being so selfish..start thinking with you r heart and not your dick... 

Am I reading this wrong Ladybug?  Aren't you doing what he's doing?  Not that I'm judging you judging him... I'm just confused (first for everything!).  Should you two get together perhaps?

 

And now to summarise everyone's points of view

1 - If you cheat you will get caught

2 - If you're not getting what you want sexually - masturbate

3 - If you don't like to masturbate - leave your partner.  You can use point 1 as an exit strategy.

 

 

My husband is not very sexual, but we talked about this even from the dating stage. Mind you dating is a short lived thing, I jump into full relationships quickly I don't like to wait and wonder. Now I already had a partner and was in an open relationship. I always pretty much had open relationships once I realised whilst I an behave, I just don't want to. So then I had 2 boyfriends and learnt more about polyamoury and the 3 of us lived together quite well. Then my original partner found another woman who said she was up for it, then changed her mind and got more possessive and he left me. I married the other one but we knew we were ot sexual compatible but we are perfect together in every other way. So it was an open marriage of which he was welcome but didn't make any use unless I pretty much sat women in his lap. Then I met my current bf, and my husband met him and approved so I'm now in a closed relationship with the 2 of them, though I an play with others as an extension of my time with my bf. This was clearly discussed with my husband before we set up a RHP profile.

I personally would not feel comfortable lying to someone I loved so much, but I get what its like to have needs, and lack of sex and lack of the right sort of sex was all my husband and I ever fought over.

I think others are wondering what type of person you are that you are comfortable going behind your partners back, and don't want to be part of it, especially if some sort of backlash came people like some drama but not that much drama.

Talking to your partner is one thing but one of my friend's has a wife who expressly stated she doesn't want to have sex anymore, so they had a discussion and he asked about open relationship then she thought about it a few days then decided no, she didn't want that either. He pointed out that she wasn't going to have sex and he wasn't allowed to either.

Now to me that's just mean, if you love someone and you know they do want sex and you don't want to give it but you are going to deny them that pleasure happiness and experience for the rest of their lives - now that is mean.

Is there a solution yep - is here a good one that involves no lying - nope.

..and you are only 'cheating' if you are depriving your wife/husband of something. I know quite a few guys who have great relationships, and sex lives, with their wives, and still like variety. Find a nice willing girl to have your sex with, and love your wife. Then hope like mad that your sex bud doesn't start loving you..that will cause problems. 

I find it interesting... a man who cheats is the scum of the earth... mostly as dicated by women... however a woman who cheats (and let's face it theres quite a few here who do so openly)... is not given the same harsh treatment as the man.  Is that double standards or what?

 

Why is it that women can "get away with it"... but men are beaten up for it?

 

Sorry - just an observation...

 

Wayne

Niceguy

Yes a man who cheats is the scum of the earth
Yes a woman who cheats is not given the same harsh treatment as the man (except in some islamic countries where they are stoned to death)
Yes this is a double standard
Yes this has been discussed before ad infinitum

The only rule about sex in Australia is that women make the rules.

Why? See Bill Gates Rule #1 (other thread)

Regards

Mr. SR

I think female cheaters are treated differently BY MEN because there are SOOOOO many men who are desperate to get their hands on them ! (Female cheaters are treated harshly by women.)

 

The thought for a man that he can have NSA fun, is appealing where as it's not for women.

 

Men like married women.  Women aren't that attracted to married men.

 

I'm one of the women who will have a relationship with any man regardless of his marital circumstances.  AND this makes me in demand..which is actually a pain in the arse !  I don't actually want NSA fun.  I guess I'm looking for more of a relationship whether or not a man is married.

 

I don't think women make the rules... women are usually the victims ! SIMPLE !!

 

Hugs, Miss Saturn

 

Miss Saturn, but can i ask if you get the same treatment as Honest_Clean_Fun describes in his final paragraph.

Cheers Nev....Just Curious

As society views women as the weaker/fairer sex...and conversely men as the strong, dominant members...

it stands to reason that society expects men to treat women with respect and look after them...

in all sorts of ways...

hence...when a man wants to cheat on his wife, he is branded all sorts of nasty things...

whereas a woman can more or less do as she pleases...

this is a philosophical view on how society (in general) views relationships between men and women...

my personal opinion...treat people how you want people to treat you...

so if you wanna cheat...go right ahead....the universe promises to repay you double your admission price...

jose...

As people, I really like married men...their conversations hold substance and they are respectful towards me.

 

But to have sex with a married man...I'm afraid not.  Simply because it limits me in the scope of the "friendship" evolving to something more.

 

Having extra marital sex without the consent of your partner...well, as many of the above comments state, just be prepared to own your actions and accept the consequences.

 

Jx

As the old saying goes "If you cant bury your bone in your own backyard, you're gonna bury it in someone elses."

It's simple and if chicks expect their men to just go without and not give a shit about their mens sexual  needs then expect to be screwed around on.

And hows ladybug69,claims she's  been married for a year on her post and her profile says she was married for 18 years, now single.Probably a good idea to remember what you wrote on your profile b4 you post just so you can get your bu*^sh*t story right.

mr pip

 

Yeah married woman are a no  go zone to me..There is not alot to gain and you know someone is getting hurt ..I would not like it happening to me..

Hey Jose... what are you saying?  Seems to me like you are saying something terrible is going to happen to me. 

 

Mmm... guess you probably shouldn't hang around me in case you are around at the time the universe repays me ! 

 

Wouldn't your statement also apply to single men playing with married women ??? 

 

I think we all have our values, opinons and beliefs.  Lifes complex... it's rarely as it seems.

 

Hugs, Miss Saturn

 

Pipinghot71 loved your answer you go girl!!!!!!!!!!!

xxxxxxxxxx

Kittycat

does that mean if your treatment of people follows a strict "what they don't know won't hurt them", then they're not building up negative karma?

If it is not known, then is it 'harm' to somebody? The other person is still living their happy life as normal - I mean, the 'cheater' in the first instance may be blissfully unaware that his/her partner is off being the star attraction in a gangbang on Tuesdays instead of her old book club meeting. They may each be unwittingly treating each other in the same way. (Or am I overthinking this?)

Miss Saturn: I think you nailed a major compoenent of why there is the double standard.

Hi everyone, I was looking for the church and morals thread... is this it?

 

I think everyone just has to apply their own values to 'everything'.  If you draw the line at  married men or women, do so.  If you hunt married women as a sport - good on you.  If you choose not to tell your partner / wife- it's your risk (and hers without realising it perhaps)- but it's your relationship, and whatever happens is your decision ultimately.

 

But don't try and push your values on other people.  That's what religion is for

so the moralists have finally woken up?  so.......it's ok to "swing" & introduce another party/parties into a marriage, but it's not ok to admit you need sex & your wife is frigid...............

double standards or what ?

pay for it.......easier, no one gets hurt, you get your balls milked & wifey doesn't feel threatened by a third in the bed.

just my opinion so smash away

Well - married men are treated same as women in my opinion, just that they are far more visible - there is a lot more of them...
Solution - find someone in same situation - another married woman that has needs and be discreet about it... ;-)