Is there a double standard for men with much younger women,is it socially unacceptable?

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Is there a double standard for men with much younger women,is it socially...

Aug 17, 2012
Hesione

How would you feel about your daughter having a relationship with a man 20 plus years older than her?There has been discussion here about older women younger men,but what do we think about younger women older men.

If you are an older man would you want to be with a much younger woman,and would it just be for sex or a committed relationship?

Aug 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
tuscanred   Woman 60yrs

I would think it good

 

I have two daughters and one really does need a man that’s older to get her off her high horse.

Plus I do not think a young man can handle some women, they do not have the subtle seduction chip in them

This is not all men of course.

 

Just that the addiction to porn and learning about sex from porn is epidemic in males today. The capacity to be intimate with women is getting lost in translation. As a matter of fact men are becoming impotent earlier than they used to as they are so over stimulated that normal loving sex no longer does it for them.



I am the same I think, lack the capacity to be intimate but can fuck my brains out with impunity.

But I want my girls to learn from an experienced man who will show them how to get pleasure and give pleasure.



Younger women are really getting pushed into sex by guys these days, I went to a lecture the other night and there were young girls there and they said that the guys had put so much pressure on them and one even got date rapped at 17.

Nice start to your sexual life, I know because my first was the same, a friend of a guy was dating, who offered me a ride home. I had just turned 18 , yes late starter.



What was worse he bragged about it and I was the slut and my boyfriend kicked me to the curb. I was no longer the virgin he wanted to marry..dahhhh

So yes for me, for older, wiser, kinder men.


Aug 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
feloniusfossil

One of many

Yes undoubtedly.....thats life, I could scaresly care less any more.

There is little to be gained by getting hung up about it.


I have no daughters....just sons. So I don't know.


Personally I'm not agesist, so it depends on the person as an individual rather than

their biological age.

Although my range says 18 to 99, and I would be a hypocrite if it was anything else.

It would also be accurate to say that the chances of finding common ground and a

connection gets more remote the younger/older they are, by the time they get to 18 or 99

I reckon that would be some kinda miracle for both sides.


A 20 year age gap is not to much of a stretch, as far as I'm concerned, once your

an adult with a bit of experience then age is not so relevant, at 30 a female really

should have her shit together, if she didn't I wouldn't be interested for very long.


Cheers Felonius

Aug 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
jensman1903   Man 49yrs

Shit, Hesione. You don't make it easy for me to maintain my cool, non-judgemental facade.

My daughter's 8 so if there were a man, twenty years her senior showing an interest, I'd hide the body when I was finished.
Aug 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Miketheduc   Man 53yrs

Younger women?

This is not fair lady H I would love to meet someone in their 30s who was interested, and since I have no kids its not something I would be familiar with worying about.

If I thought about how a father would feel I suppose I could use my imagination amd say I would be a little taken aback that my daughter would choose someone my age to be having sex with.

But as she would be an adult and would probably tell me to mind my own business I am relatively sanguine about this question.

Mike 

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Handmaiden  

Woman 50yrs

My eldest daughter

Is on this site as many already know. I do not care if she has a relationship with someone twenty years older than her at all. What ever makes her happy....because at 35 I assume she is adult enough to know her own mind.

Age is a relevant thing though and in saying that.....I dont think I would like an 18 year old to be going out with a 38 year old. The life experience is too different at that age. But as we mature, the lines blur a little.

Aug 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Araps   Couple Man 38yrs Woman 35yrs

Don't judge

Hesione,
Interesting post and there are so many stereo types and pressures in society that it makes it difficult to be and find yourself. There will be plenty of people who will have a whinge etc at older / younger scenario.

I have 2 daughters and baring anything illegal and they are at an age and emotional maturity to be able to make proper life decisions then at the end of the day only thing that matters its that both in the couple are happy.
Aug 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Smilingwithfun   Man 53yrs

Just me

Interesting post. My daughter is 22 & i can't imagine dating anyone her age or close to.Dating someone 20 years younger throws up some thoughts. Do they want kids, i don't want kids,when there 20 i'll be 72.Thats a grandfather age not a father age.Interesting in theory,in practice throws up some problems not faced by older woman,younger man situation
Aug 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Sensory_fun   Woman 51yrs

A welcome change....

I have 2 daughters and feel both have been ripped off in the romance and love department.  The young guys their age just don't understand subtle flirting and the gentler side of things.  Its all or nothing and they want it NOW!

 

Someone with a stable outlook on life would be a blessing.  There's a lot to be said for the experienced man, who is both a protector and lover.

 

SFxx

Aug 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Jay_Me  

Man 52yrs

Definately...

Definately a double standard..  but I can understand people feeling uncomfortable about this..

I never purposely go looking for younger girls.  But if I happen to meet someone and the chemistry is right I only ever see her as person..  I always think girls 25 yrs and up are OK even though there was a girl last year who told me she was 22 after earlier telling me she was 26.. 

As far as a commited relationship goes..  No'  I would never lead any younger girl on ... I dont think that is fair to either...Enjoing each others company is one thing..  continuing that onto a relationship is another...  Too many variations to consider..  But live and let live...    as long as no one is getting hurt..  all's good... 

Jay.....














Aug 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
teasegoddess   Woman 51yrs

ok

My mother was younger then my father by 8 years and even at that age difference there is a worry. Young people need to realise having a younger lover can be good but what happens when the older partener need to be cared for and they are at their prime of their life. They become miserable,it is not easy looking after an older person. Good luck for the few that make it happily through a vast age difference.

Aug 18, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Misscontrary   Woman 53yrs

Don't have a daughter but

Do have a son.  I think that if he had found a woman 20 years older, I probably would have been at least mildly shocked and indignant about it. Though I think my husband may have been amused! Having said that, my life experiences as a very young teenager caused me to pursue much older men, to me boys were not to be played with in any other manner than as kids played together as friends. Now it is very much different, as I thoroughly enjoy playing with men 20 years younger.
Aug 18, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Misscontrary   Woman 53yrs

From the stand point of my parents.....

My parents would have been utterly outraged.  I know for a fact my father would have attempted to shoot them if he had known, my mother would have wept for me. How my world has changed.
Aug 18, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
50zcool

ageism

Anyone my age who thinks they can have a serious relationship with a much younger woman, especially one who may still want children is a fool.
But this is RHP not RSVP
So its about sex, and in that context age doesn't mean shit, both parties will have their reasons to desire the other and they will be as diverse as this site can provide, typically he is seen as the predator and she the victim ! Believe me the roles can be very easily reversed !
I have been with a much younger woman who was intellectually stimulating, emotionally aware and fantastic in bed, Equally I have been the tick the old guy box with fuck all to talk about and me me all about me sex.

And so what has age got to do with that ? Not much, that can happen just as easily in a closer age bracket. It's about the people. Yes it can be an ego buzz being with someone much younger, but it can also be a buzz dating an artist a doctor an athlete or an actress, we date different people for a host of reasons vivre la difference !    hmmm it's late and I ramble oh well.
Aug 18, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
brave__heart

I share the view

Of some of the posters here that older men have so much to offer in terms of the depth of their sexual and sensual experience and their ability to truly create intimate connection with a woman. I haven't found a younger man yet that makes my heart flutter the way the self-assured, confident and very knowing words and touch of an older man do. Even then, I have limits. I'm open to a man up to around 10 years older, and I'm happy to keep an open mind about younger men, also 10 years or so. Regardless of age, I have to say that the trend in here of men bragging about their sexual talents is just yuk, in my mind. I've always been of the belief that if you do good work, the work will speak for itself :) So if I stumbled across a man who had that air of quiet confidence, some real depth and sincerity to his character and a sharp intellect, I don't know that age would matter after all. Some of the best messages I've ever received in here have been from lovely young men in their early 20s ... oh so tempting :D
Aug 18, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Sensory_fun   Woman 51yrs

Relationship or life experience......

A relationship doesn't necessarily have to progress to marriage.  Most relationships end as do many marriages.  I feel a relationship with a 20 year age difference is more a learning experience and not necessarily a life commitment.

 

As others have mentioned, I can see problems with such a big age gap if married. 

 

When I was in my twenties and married to my then husband, his best mate had a relationship with a woman nearly 20years older than him.  She did have trouble fitting in with our social group and the other girls always viewed her with suspicion.  I would imagine that if the roles were reversed the older man may not fit in socially with her friends.  I don't think she would be taken seriously by his friends either.

 

SFxx

 

 

Aug 18, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
50zcool

Well done.

Seriously good post Hesione thank you !

And really good quality thoughtful contributions from everyone else, what these forums are about !
Love youse all !
Aug 18, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
slinkey   Woman 46yrs

I wouldn't mind my daughter hanging out with an older man..

...maybe not if he's my husband tho
Aug 18, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
FabbriB

What do you think?

I think that age is not a real problem.

It doesn't matter if Woman / Younger Guy or Man / Younger Girl.

It is foundamental how we feel toghether...

Aug 18, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
tuscanred   Woman 60yrs

Relationships

 

Good post and good responses here.

 

My father was married four times, each to women much younger than him though the gap closed as he got older.

He was a charmer but then turned into a controlling person to each wife once he married them.

 

Its a question of power in some cases. Note the overseas brides who marry guys wayyyyyyyyyyyyy older. I have seen some very bad mistakes with that kind of marriage and its caused a whole lot of grief for everyone in it.



Your right in the social setting, I have two women friends. One is married to a guy twenty five years younger, they have been married 10 years and he adores her still, but she is getting a tad tied of the attention. Exhausted at times.

The other her husband is 15 years younger and we never see him, she always goes to social functions without him.

 

The problem is the judgements of others. In the first marriage as she was to old to have kids , she had one from her previous marriage. His family would say when are you going to get rid of the old woman and give me some grandchildren.

 

The second , he just wants her and she is happy doing what he likes she does not have to drag him to places he feels uncomfortable with others making judgements about him.

 

My husband was seven years younger than me, it worked just fine it was not age but other things that got us a divorce but we are still great mates and we mix well with all our old friends and new ones.

 

Attitude of others causes most of the problems.

 

I think most men when they are out with an  younger woman, people say.

Older men with younger women can get away with it if they are rich.

 


Aug 18, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Hesione

thank you

everyone,great thoughtful responses.Interestingly different to most older women younger men threads.It is always so easy to judge when we see couples with a big age difference ,my view tends to be similar to Tuscans,my father was 16 years older than my mother and they were happily married for 35 years

On the other hand I have usually had partners who were either a similar age  to me,or in one case much younger.x Hugs H

 

ps 50zcool,I am dying to know,what do you  have on your head?

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