Is it wrong to sleep with a married man?

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Is it wrong to sleep with a married man?

Aug 10, 2012
Bella1976   Woman 36yrs

So I’m really confused about something and need some advice.  BTW this is my first post on here so please be gentle ;)

I’ve been chatting online to a married man for about 6 months and we have developed an online friendship. He tells me that his wife doesn’t satisfy him sexually and never has.  He wants to cheat on her (he says he never has before) and wants to have sex with me.  Ok so our friendship has strayed into highly sexual conversations but I thought it was just a bit of online fun, an outlet for his sexual frustration.

I’m not sure how I feel about fucking him.  Morally I don’t feel it’s right to sleep with a married man, but on the other hand surely that’s his decision to make and he has to live with the consequences.

I’m torn between wanting to meet him, wanting to maintain our friendship and wanting to do the right thing.

I really need to get some perspective on this situation so any advice would be great.

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MrsTri  

Woman 37yrs

Not if you're his wife.

Although I hear it's quite unusual once married. ;)

Serious now, I hate deception. It's not the act, it's the intention, and he's already guilty of that. Is it right for him to sleep with you? IMNSHO no.

But that's not the question. The question is it ok for you to sleep with him. Some will say no, others will say yes. But the only one you should listen to is yourself. If you are ok with it, go for it. If it's not you it would just be with somebody else.

The real question is, can you live with being 'the other woman'. Are you ok with the consequences if (actually 'when') his wife finds out? And what would you do if you were in her position (which I assume is missionary).

Oh sorry, just realised this is RHP. Go for it, go for it HARD!
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MsVelvetblue

I guess for me this is how I would look at it

Put yourself in (I imagine) his unsuspecting wives stilettos If you were his wife , how would you feel if your hubby was doing this to you ? And how would you feel about the other woman and her fooling around with your man with only his words to say she doesn't satisfy him There in lies your answer. You are not responsible for his behavior but you are certainly responsible for your own and I always believe that you treat people the way that you wish to be treated yourself. Is this how you would like to be treated one day ? Cheated and lied to by the person who is suppose to love you unconditionally ? Don't you  think that you two have cheated on her already ? At the end if the day although this liasion is all rather exciting, do you like the person that you are as a result of what you are participating in? If you feel good about you and this situation then more power to you but I doubt that is the case as why would you post on a forum asking opinions or are you asking for validations ? Either way good luck with it. I think you already know what you are going to do , it's what you should do is what this really  is all about and in your heart you already know
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Hesione

if

you decide to have an affair with a married man OP,here are some of the likely cosequences for you.

He will rarely be available,will not want to be seen in public with you....after a while he will say he is just wracked with guilt and cant continue.

His wife might find out and call you,that can be a most unpleasant experience.

You might become extremely emotionally attached to him and find that the time he spends with you is just not enough.

I don't judge as to the morality of the situation ,I have been on both sides of this equasion in the past and in my opinion having a relationship with someone who is married is just too problematic.

But if none of the above worries you ,then why notx Hugs

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Taipan12   Man 47yrs

Tough one..

I guess it depends on how much you trust this guy and what you want from the situation..what is it your looking for ?
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keepingkarma   Woman 53yrs

Plenty more fish

... in the sea. Single fish that is. KK xx
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jensman1903   Man 49yrs

Very good advice so far, Bellator.

The 'Golden Rule' is the most widely accepted test of any ethical decision. I am not against extramarital affairs but I can accept being cheated on. I've always felt that, if my wife sampled something else then returned to me, I must be doing something right. Like that saying, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was." Not everyone can be as philosophical about being cheated on as I. How would you feel about it?
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Cassandra_Jayne   Woman 33yrs

True true @ Keeping Karma

... Note the pun.... Temptation, temptation, temptation!!! I so know the feeling... Oh just to have that man!! No, no, no!!
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Cassandra_Jayne   Woman 33yrs

P.S

I've maintained a beautiful relationship with this man... Love him to bits....So glad he's still in my life - Not sure he would be otherwise ... Many,many more fish!!
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jensman1903   Man 49yrs

One other point.

No one can break up a HAPPY marriage.
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Chasingmytail   Woman 46yrs

If he lies to her, he will probably lie to you

If he cheats, on the love of his life (his wife), he will have no qualms cheating on you.

Do what makes you happy but try not to get attached to him. Attached or married men break hearts
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@chasingmytail

She's only talking about fucking him, not marriage.  So the need for trust, while important, is not so extreme.

But you have a point.  Is he just a week man who wont get off his arse and fix things or leave.  Are we talking charming passive aggressive here?

This is not the sort of person I'd be wanting to share intimacy with...

I think No..
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jennylee1903   Woman 46yrs

I sleep with a married man every night.

:)
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Araps  

Couple Man 38yrs Woman 35yrs

Your choice

Am with Hesione and KK on this one.

As long as you know what your up for then the choice is all yours. With the ratio of guys to women on RHP surely there are plenty of guys who aren't married?
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cavey50   Man 53yrs

I love that line.. did me so damned good in the past.. and probably still would

"WOW.. I dont know what it is about you... I have never felt like this before... I would never have thought I would want to make love to some behind my wifes back...."

That stuff...

Fck, we lie well.. . males and females.

Bellator... you are 35.. a big girl.. wear big girl pants...

If you want to fck him.. go do it.. dont believe a single thing you hear from his mouth...

He lied to his wife, he lied to himself, he will lie to you.. and to everyone else :)

 

BUT... if he can fck good.... who gives a fck?

Anyway.. if you met him at a hotel.. and you were horny.. you wouldnt even ask him of he had a partner would you?

If you did, and you had a few drinks in you..and he said "yeah.. but, she is with her FB tonight... " would you care?

 

Go hard girl.. and get us soem photos please..

 

"Believe NOTHING of what you hear...and only HALF of what you see"

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mikeandshel  

Couple Man 50yrs Woman 52yrs

umm

in our eyes it has to be 'no'...dont sleep with him, if its as you say...'morally wrong'. besides, why would you want someone elses partner? when you might even find that the line he's spun you.....is 100% bullshit, which is so often the way of these things. why would you bother with someone who is happy to lie to his own wife/family etc, when, as cavey said, hes probably lied to everyone so far...including yourself. you should respect yourself much more than he obviously does, and give him the flick, you'll find that bedding someone and not ever having to hide that you have, is so much more fulfilling and memorable...do the single guy thing, not the married loser.
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Bella1976   Woman 36yrs

Thank you!

Such good advice from you all.  Thank you, thank you, thank you for giving me some perspective.

LittleRedEngine - I think you hit the nail on the head!

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Bella1976   Woman 36yrs

Cavey50

Oh and Cavey50, my big girl pants are now firmly in place ;)
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xxTRIPSxx   Woman 46yrs

Oh not good

I wouldnt become involved with a married man. Ask yourself some questions though...
Does his wife know what hes up to?
What is this man doing on a sex site when he can easily find a escort for the night?
Is he being completely honest with you?
And if hes playing behind his wifes back.. chances are he will do it to you too....
But who knows.. maybe his wife has given him her blessing to fuck another woman..
But think of this, If you were married to this man.... how would you feel if he was doing this behind your back???
Is all this really worth a shag or 2?? Honey go find a single guy who isnt attached to any woman and have some fun.. Plenty of single men in here.. some spunks actually (lol)  I dont know what this guys story is.. but please tread with care... And make sure you dont get the blame for a failed marriage because of it.. You sound like a lovely person honey, im sure a single man will sweep you off your feet.. Just be patient
xxTRIPSxx
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kitten_n_shooter   Couple Man 40yrs Woman 28yrs

Do as I say not as I do

I slept with a married man for 18 months.  Then I slept with a seperated man for another couple of years after that.  Now I'm sleeping with another married man.

 

Of course, I've been sleeping with the same man for the last five years :)

 

I wish I could say "don't do it" but that would sound far too hypocritical.  I wish I could say that after surviving the absolutely horrific slaughterhouse of a few years that followed after our affair went public I would never do it again.  But, I think I would.

 

It differs for each individual.  I'm an emotional person, therefore I became emotionally involved very early on and once you're tangled up in each others emotions, "fucking a married man" becomes a whole different ball game.

 

Think about what you really want, the most likely outcome if you do sleep with this man, and the price you are willing to pay to do it.

 

I love my husband ardently and I would probably do it all again knowing that this is where we would end up.  But the cost to us along the way, in every sense, has ben enormous so be smart and be careful.

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Smilingwithfun  

Man 53yrs

trust

If he can treat the person he is supposedly close to, how is going to treat the anybody else he meets & professes desire to?

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