Initial email challenge - so bad it's good

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Initial email challenge - so bad it's good

Jan 17, 2012
HotSexyChilli   Woman 36yrs
How good are your writing skills?  Here's the challenge:

In 50 words or less how can you best alienate yourself and guarantee rejection from a woman who in her profile is clearly looking for mental connection, intelligence and humour, NOT smut?

Just to inspire you, here's one I received this morning - and 2012 is looking promising.

Chilli xx

Nice Ass
Love that profile pic with you bending over....would love to lift your skirt, pull your gstring aside and tongue your ass hole as my fingers massage your g spot before shafting you long and hard with my thick dick and injecting a massive load deep inside.
Jan 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post

It wasn't me...I didn't do it.

I must be a master at unimaginative and bullet-proof failure first emails by now...so I'll play.

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Hi ChasingChilli,

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I was trying to read your profile but kept looking at your ass and to be honest, you profile is really long and confusing.  To make matters worse, I just read (from top to bottom by the way) a profile by some dirty bitch that calls herself D_G_T and think I am suffering from a word overdose...maybe even a Thesaurus coma although it would probably be easier to get my cock in her than it would you as you use bigger words.  Anyway, if you want to fuck...write back and if not, don't waste my time.

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More than 50 words I know but if I don't read your profile...what makes you think I am going to bother staying inside the lines when I colour this one in?

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And besides, I just killed two birds with one stone! 

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Pffftttt, 50 words is the equivalent to "hello"...right?

Jan 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Vagabonde  

Woman 35yrs

ChasingCunt

yep thats me u hot peace of ass you, i no yu want me, just you dont no it yet, haha, here is my nomber 04XX XXX XXX txt me FCKNOW so i no its u ok
Jan 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Vagabonde  

Woman 35yrs

*ow*

That fuckin hurt, Chilli. Right *here*

If you kiss it better I'll stop pouting
Jan 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
rockercouple80  

Couple Man 32yrs Woman 23yrs

...

Sorry, Chilli, was our email to you too forward???

:)
Jan 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Ramakin   Man 41yrs

ChasingChilli... How YOU doin' ?

Hey babe,

 

U so F-ing HOTTT!!!!  Showd Ur pics to my bro-in-law. Our wives R out this weekend, fanzy meeting us for coffee? Wanna lick Ur feet n cum in Ur moth badd! If NO, I have a business proposal for U!

 

Respectfully yours

 

 

...and i'd like to apologies for that unreservedly (if it makes it past the moderators)!

Jan 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
HotSexyChilli   Woman 36yrs

** right there Bratz

Hi ChazinCunt

u r so hot almose as hot as mi jus sayin how is id troo
bebe u won evin no ur name wen im thru wit u ima pull ur choka so hard ur iballs pop n u opun ur mowf 4 me 2 shuv my fat cok 2 mak u gag ok

from CumChazer
Jan 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Stalky  

Man 50yrs

First draft

Dear crumpet, A nurse once asked me to send her a smutty letter so she could pin it to the message board in the nurses quarters. I did just as she asked and I never heard from her again. So I hope you don't mind if I hold back for the finals. Suffice to say, some men get everything arse up.  For instance, that other dude's suggestions...  I would shaft your arse long and hard with my fat dick before delving in there with the tongue. I just love to felch a sloppy wet jizz filled arsehole dont you? I mean, if you do, ill bring a friend and he can do me while I do you and then you and I can clean each other's sex crumbs after. Oh while I think of it, I hope you don't mind a bit of spit. I'm allergic to lube. Flares up the jock itch (don't ask! At least I managed to get the crabs under control) (last time I checked)xx so let's get together do I can dump a load in your hawt corn hole. Hugs Stalky
Jan 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
playfulxone  

Man 30yrs

initial posts

We'll to be honest this actually give me a lot of hope for myself on this site given i normal start my messages with Hi and actually do read the profiles. There should be an IQ test before people can message. You poor ladies suffer on here, but don't worry some guys are good at articulation and not just masturbation.

hope i spelt all that right!
Jan 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post

Just checked my watch and...

...think you may have caught one by now?

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Quoting 'ChasingChilli'
....CumChazer

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Maybe two...you know, always the dream about meeting a woman that can stay on top of the wave.  Tuck in under the curl and ride the pipe out until you can see the sun.

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Why am I hearing the music from Blue Hawaii 5-0 playing in my ears? 

Jan 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Vagabonde  

Woman 35yrs

ChasingCum

Oi'm soooo fawkin glAd that u kizzed it allllll bettererer first cuz utherwys i think mi hed wuld ha kersplodered

i gagd just reedin yor leta it got me so hawt

i thynk if u hav FatDiks numba you shud bringe him n we culd do that hoomin cintipid thyng i herd abowt now THAS HAWWWWT

CUNT WAYT
YORS FOREVA I THYNK IM IN LUV
BRATTA
Jan 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Meeka100   Woman 41yrs

True story

I want to suck your big titties

 

 

xx

SexyKoalaBear

 

 

Jan 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
D_G_T   Woman 40yrs

just in

you hot lets exchange photos?

.

.

At least you other girls get a Hi

Jan 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
HotSexyChilli   Woman 36yrs

ChayzinMidnit

Quoting 'ChasingMidnight'|

Maybe two...you know, always the dream about meeting a woman that can stay on top of the wave.  Tuck in under the curl and ride the pipe out until you can see the sun.

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Deer midnit

im guna b a serfer 2 juz lik u an im practasin o Toosdays am evin groanin mi hayr in dredis so i look ledgit            mi hayr stinkz a bid coz i cunt wash id bud ima pud purfyoom on wen i sees ya so u don notas ids smellee

i mowstly stey unda der big wayvs bud no1s purfekt is day?  we all sars sumwer

i lyk ya midnit coz u vere sexc u r so smart 2.  i juz did to grayd 10 so i lyk a intelagent man
but weez won b tawkin 2 much enywayz i yooz mi mowf beta lyin dun

i wil go dun on yer 4 owas coz i cunt get enuf jizz n man jooz in ma mowf and i spred i all ofer mi big titis an dey r beta dan Meekers so don baleev enyfing dat hor slut gal says im beda dan her an evree boy i bin wiv tings so 2 - an ids nat like dey makin it up or nofing coz her stunt azz been evrywear man

i promas 2 mayk u cum all nite long not juz 2 nah dats not kewl but i giv u at leest 3 BIG 1s cuz dats ma fing ok

fom cumChazer
Jan 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
HotSexyChilli   Woman 36yrs

Bob me

Quoting 'bob26354'
   

Hey babe,

 

U so F-ing HOTTT!!!!  Showd Ur pics to my bro-in-law. Our wives R out this weekend, fanzy meeting us for coffee? Wanna lick Ur feet n cum in Ur moth badd! If NO, I have a business proposal for U!

 


   
I'm doin reely good Bob - gawd dis 4play is so hot we can juz get id on alredy.  im free 2nit r u?

mi feet iz good coz i alweys got cum stuk bitween tows nic n crunchee

if it haz 2 b biznes u can pay mi bus tiked howm agen
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Vagabonde  

Woman 35yrs

pmsl chilli

No, really!

*grumbles and changes sheets*
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zphinx   Woman 44yrs

Here's one..no "hi" either

** hey spunky

 

love the profile loved to me and show u a great time, no gf veery honest respectful stud who know how to treat a woman and i love 4play espaly giving. here some pics 4 u tell me wat u think and i would love some of u. xx t***y u look hot

 

Anyone feeling the love with this stud... haha

 

 

Also had a guy offer me cash so he could suck my boobs from another site...not desperate much  LOL

Jan 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post

Keep the faith...

...and hold that pose, ChasingChilliChasinCumAllNightLong.  I am happy to show you the many benefits of a Nikon D3x with a Sigma lens...we'll be looking right up your ass-dress in finite detail.

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Move a muscle and we'll just have to go to the ropes.  Very funny...plan well executed.

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Wouldn't be the first time I have actually come good in a screen.............shot!

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You're so nasty.....  

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iwasreallytemptedtostartthisshitbutitshardashelltotype

likethisandyouknowiamdoingitwithmytoesanyway

Jan 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
SLK27  

Woman 47yrs

I see my ex contacted you Chilli !!! - his such a suave guy !!!

A uniquely WA email to Chilli - who btw does has a awesome ass...I know Im looking at it  !!

 

 

Hiya  babe

i work FIFO am im in perth now am looking for sum fun chat and see were it goes

0*** *** ***

Call me

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mmm yeah rite.... Im dialing now .............

Jan 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
tuscanred   Woman 59yrs

jezzz chilli

 

Errm what was his nick name..ummm just in case I run into the crass bastard!

Umm its just that I am not sure I have a G spot, so maybe he is Scott of the Antarctic and can go into my cold nether regions where no man has been before and find my

G h, I ,J K spot as well

I think you should pass him on to me.

I will put on my school teachers outfit and sit on his face and say.

repeat after me

The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.

He just needs a little instruction is all

And can you blame him you ,dirty strumpet chilli!
I mean bending over like that and almost showing your , girlie bits

poor lad,what else can he do but dribble

I mean it could have been worse, he did offer to put the g string aside instead of inserting it, inside with his Haul pack load.

come to me big boy : ) and pull my bridge Jones aside

And call me Mrs Doubt firee, you know that makes me so hot 4 u, and I will wear my sensible shoes so wed don’t slip when you ram that thing on home.

ohh sorry please stay away from my virgin arse hole, unless of course you want to call out my name when you cum

MRSSSSSSSSSSSS BOBBBBIT noooooooooo don’t do that!





Jan 17, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
HotSexyChilli   Woman 36yrs

ima filin yas awl up

Oi TuskNred

jus pul dat blowse akros jus a bit n i can sees ya niples an ya no ya wanna giv me a gud ole titte fuk jus lyk dat hor Meeka dus.

jus opun ur mowth @ da end coz i wan ta c mi jiz all ofa ur tung ya liddle slut u

Use dont reely fink id fawl 4 dat a sekond time do yas? 

What dusn't kill me maykes mi longa

from
Mr Bobbit

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