That's a good insight, heywood. I also think that the possibility of love and long term relationship with members of the same gender is very important when it comes to figuring out all of these labels. Personally I identify as bisexual even though I have never had and doubt I ever will have love or relationship with a male. Part of that is my own circumstance, it's not going to work so I'm not even looking for it or open to the possibility. But I also think a lot of it is because I'm attracted to men only physically and on a platonic level than ever really having or wanting to have the relationshippy feelings. I use bisexual on my profile and not bi-curious because I've known for a while now that I'm definitely bi and have done sufficient research. It'd be a real stretch for me to say that I'm just a bit curious of the unknown.
That's just my situation, I completely understand how the label fits for other men's circumstances who are only just considering or starting to take a walk on the bi side. Since sexuality is such a powerful and important thing, I even understand why some men would want to stay with the label "bi-curious" long after their curiosity is sated and it's become a regular thing. Like heywood said though, it'd be ridiculous for someone in a relationship to cling on to the curious label. "My life partner is gay but I've just been testing the waters with him for six years..."
Saskia72, is it possible you like the female form from an aesthetic perspective and not necessarily a sexual one? Maybe you appreciate the beauty of a woman and are being subtly pressured to sexualise that appreciation by the culture on RHP and elsewhere. I think it's pretty natural and okay for a woman to admire the body of other women without needing to be sexual with them. I also think straight men find the look of attractive, fit men pleasing. They just never say so and don't take it to the next step of thinking about that attractive body sexually. I think that's why men's underwear companies always have attractive models, even when marketing to straight men who theoretically shouldn't care. There must be some reason why the shaved, tanned, muscular adonis sells more jocks than a plastic mannequin modelling the same product, and as the majority of those customers are straight, statistically speaking, it can't be because all of those customers want to drop to their knees in front of him.
But I see your point, sometimes it is enough just to leave something where it is, not go intentionally seeking it, and who knows, maybe someday something will serendipitously fall in my lap... or dive in... :)
I think it has occurred to me more because of the immersion in the sexual culture of these sites. On another site that I frequent I was approached (online of course) by a stunning bi woman (among many others, but she sticks in my mind because of her pure beauty and sexiness) who leans more towards fems than males, she comlipmented me and said she was really disappointed that I wasn't bi, we exchanged emails over the next few days and then left it at "Please contact me if you ever change your mind... I'm sure your husband would love it." well obviously hubby nearly fell over backwards with 1) envy 2) hope... Oh yes, I could see those little cogs clicking over. Lol
I feel though that I wouldn't know what to do to a woman (as in specifically, not generally), now that might seem silly sounding to you all, "But you should know, you're a woman blah blah blah" ... Giving head to a guy is relatively easy, can just be hard work depending on size, giving it to a woman seems more complex... and we are so much harder to please.
Anyways... Thanks guys
in my humble opinion can be confining not defining.Sexuality I believe is a continuum.I have met two women who I was sexually attracted to but it didn't go anywher.,When I was in my twenties I had two sexual encounters with women but they didn't really float my boat.
An appreciation of physical beauty is different to a sexual attraction.I can appreciate male and female beauty without it meaning that I want to jump their bones,in fact it is often quite the opposite.
My philosophy is never say never,age, gender is irrelevant to having a connection with someone.That person may or may not be someone I have a sexual connection with,but we may have a strong emotional and or intellectual connection.x Hugs H
thats a very good question , my wife and i have only started to play , she was curious , we played with a nice couple --she was bi-sexaul -and took my wife aside and " showed her the ways" , My wife only kissed and fondled her. She pleased her --actually the best anyone has apparently , since then we have played with another couple where my wife played one on one with her and enjoyed it ------ Our question much the same --- Is she (my wife) bi curious ????
Mind you , we only think its a label