How to say "thanks but no thanks"?

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How to say "thanks but no thanks"?

Feb 21, 2012
cutepairintosex   Couple Man 36yrs Woman 28yrs
I was just wondering if someone could give us some advice on how best to say "no thanks" in reply to messages from people that don't really fit what we are looking for. Does anyone have some suggestions of wording to use that don't come across as being too rude?

I kind of feel rude sending out the "no thanks message" to people who I know would probably be perfectly nice to chat to, but am not interested in getting in the sack with. Actually we are really open minded and tolerant about the types of people we hang out with on a friendly basis,...but feel that there has to be more attraction if we're going to sleep with someone.

We have recieved a few "Sorry you're not what we're looking for" messages before; even though they were polite I still felt disappointed. Is there any way of NOT disappointing someone or is it better just not to reply? Thoughts?
Advice on wording??


Feb 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
hydey   Man 41yrs

Thanks but no thanks

Well, we're all grown ups. At least in theory. So, sure it's disappointing to get a "thanks but no thanks" message. If you want to take the sting out of it, maybe say what you've just said. Great to chat, but you're not what we want for intimacy. Who knows, maybe some of those could turn into friends that you would hate to have missed out on meeting. Even if nothing else. I think a message like that would be better than being ignored (no answer) or a blunt no thanks. It'll be interesting to see what the regulars say to this one. Cheers.
Feb 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
xFunlovingx   Woman 51yrs

Always reply...

I think that if a person has paid for membership and has taken the time to send you a message deserves a reply. If it is a crude message or a one liner...I just reply with a template reply. If I get a nice message but am not attracted to the person then I send this message..."Thanks for your message. I'm sorry, but you're not what I'm looking for. Good luck in your search and enjoy xox" I find that I get alot of messages back thanking me for my nice reply! In the end rejection hurts everyone...but it is up to how the individual takes it! Just always remember...as you have feelings...so does the other person on the other side of the message...no matter how great/bad their message is! Good luck!

xFunlovingx

Feb 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
rockercouple80  

Couple Man 32yrs Woman 23yrs

...

Hi, we'd be happy to chat with you or even meet up, but we are not looking for any more play partners at this stage.

Hi, thanks, but we have been inundated lately, and want to explor those friendships before we commit to any more.

Hi, we are taking a break from the scene for a bit, so we aren't looking for anyone new for a bit.

Hey, we are having trouble keeping up right now, so we might have to have a raincheck.

...and if they dont work...

Hey, you guys are ugly, thanks but  eewwwwww
Feb 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
40_is_fun   Couple Man 42yrs Woman 42yrs

Just say something.....anything!

The WORST thing you can do is not say anything......that is just rude.

If you have approached someone then seen headshots that you dont find attractive for whatever reason just reply with a short message (not a massive putdown) that you do not wish to go any further at this stage....or sorry you are not really what we are looking for atm. At least they know where they are at with you guys and not just left hanging. Most people take it well and move on with no hard feelings.

You need to see headshots asap when you are talking to someone too. Its way harder to say "no thanks" if you have exchanged 25 messages and think they are what you are looking for.......thats from experience.





Feb 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Stalky

Let off

You'd think people would get used to rejection around here wouldn't you? Plus, for many of us we're talking about a spur of the moment decision. How am I to know, for example, that I'm going to feel really horny on Wednesday fortnight at 10:00am? We've all got to appreciate that "sex" takes a bit of getting into. Sure there are days where I'm a dirty indiscriminate slut, but there are other moments where I'm very particular, and others still where I'm just not into it at all. All we can ever do is stay in tune with what our bodies tell us. This can mean that one minute you're thinking a particular contact is really going to answer your immediate needs, and other times, maybe not at all. At least so far as I'm concerned, it's a case of right place, right time, right opportunity.... so rejection, and the ability to say next, go hand in hand. Get used to it. Grow up, and resist the temptation to get annoyed when someone says no thanks, or no, not right now, thanks. As to the question, just say something like "Im looking for something in particular right now, and if my desires change, I like how easy going you are, so I'll let you know". Hugs
Feb 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
MistressT   Woman 45yrs

I need a "like" button here.

Quoting 'HotSexyChilli'
    You guys are damn good with gentle let downs I'm impressed

Quoting 'rockercouple80'

Hey, you guys are ugly, thanks but  eewwwwww
   
This one inspires me with something particular to my profile

"After connecting with you online, I've realised I really need to strengthen my celibacy"

You think?

Nah maybe I'll just stick to my usual

Thank you for your email. I'm not wanting to take things further but I wish you well in your pursuits.

Chilli xx
Always say please and thank you and wash your hands after....
   
This cracked me up. Love your work!
Feb 22, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
cutepairintosex   Couple Man 36yrs Woman 28yrs

Thanks!

Cool, thanks for the tips everyone...There's some good ones in there rockercouple :)

I think we want to keep it classy, esp in terms of respecting those who take the time to message us.

Hahah though I have cut sick at some individuals who I will not name, who seem to have zero manners in their messages to us! Don't worry, no one here!


Feb 23, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
wowwow11   Man 39yrs

Cutey Pie

Hi as our profile names say’s were a Cute Pair Into Sex I guess it could be your dyslexia that thought we were a cute pair into Obese Pricks .... I now can see the confusion and must apologise for our inability to not be a little more precise. All The Best Maccas is that way   --->
Feb 23, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Stalky

.....or try brutal honesty (inspired by the wow-man)

When i said I like a chunky malunky maybe I wasn't being clear about precisely which part of the male anatomy I'm referencing, pin dick. Hugs Stalky
Feb 23, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Meeka100   Woman 41yrs

:-)

Chunky malunky? Isnt that a brand of jam? :D
Feb 24, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
D_G_T

It is if you......

shake it just the right way Meeks........it's man-jam

shake it up and down, back up to it, shake shake shake, and lower yourself onto that big piece of chunky malunky

Feb 24, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
ChasingMidnight

Thanks but...

...I prefer to stay within my own species. 

|

*shrugs*...although there are some hot looking aliens on Star Wars. 

Feb 24, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
LittleRedEngine   Man 49yrs

Don't be afraid...

I feel you should not be afraid of disappointing someone.  You'll start reminding me of my mother who is constantly worrying about offending people.  And as such ties her self in an emotional knot..  if you feel you've been honest and polite, feel fine with what you've said.

Of course someone who wants to meet up will feel a little disappointed on a knock back.. but hey.. that's life.

Did I just mention my mother on a sex forum?  Damn...
Feb 24, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Krissy_G   Woman 43yrs

I always try to be Polite

But honestly there are some days where I will come across as being a bitch and short with a few of my replies. Dont really have a stock standard rection reply. All depends on the message I recieve and how I interpret their profile.

 

Lately Ive been using " Sorry sweetie, Im going through a lesbian stage atm" or " Hey, thanks for the messgae but I think you guys maybe a tad to straight for me"

 

People to appreciate a reply so I do my best to answer.

 

Feb 25, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
MrandMrsErotic   Couple Man 47yrs Woman 47yrs

Desire

People gonna fall hard over the most diplomatic rejection message.

.

People gonna accept and move on without hurt over the most diplomatic unfavourable outcome.

.

Their interpretation about a choice they offered.

Feb 25, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
k_man1982   Man 29yrs

After

After receiving lots of these emails lol The best way people have broken it to me is just by being honest, there is no need to lie so just be polite about it and tell the truth :-)
Feb 25, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
newkee   Woman 38yrs

phew!


Quoting 'LittleRedEngine'
   
Did I just mention my mother on a sex forum?  Damn...
   
Personally, am just glad you didn't mention my mother...
Feb 25, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
hardcock9   Man 41yrs

why dont you reply

any reply is better than none we all have feelings some people take no harder than others but what is worst is  to lead some one on and tell them that you want to meet or you arewhat they are looking for only to back out when you try to meet they back out and dont reply to my msgs if you change your mind thats fine but a least let them know so they are not left wondering why or what has happend

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