How to improve my profile

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How to improve my profile

Jan 03, 2012
Stalky
Please help me improve my profile! Where am I going wrong? Ive been hanging out in mens toilets and in the bushes at nudist beaches, all the steamrooms, ive tried the gym showers and the sauna and Ive been hanging out in parks late at night. Everything! Yet straight guys arent checking out my profile and most of them do not respond to my flirts or messages. All the other sluts around her dont seem to have the same "issues"... It MUST be my profile so WHERE did I go wrong and HOW can I MMMMMPROVE it? Maybe a cock shot? I have been a bit reticent to post one again cause last time all I got was women writing to me about how meaty my dick and low hanging ballsack is.  I don't think it attracts the right kind of woman... you know? Please help. I'm desperate!
Jan 06, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
ruby_blossum   Woman 53yrs

We all know....

those little boxes can be a dark place as well......
Jan 06, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Ctowntwo  

Couple Man 29yrs Woman 31yrs

Prissyguy62

you're correct, public toilet sex is not funny......unless you are doing it with a clown. in which case it's hilarious.
Jan 06, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
goodgrlzsayplz

Geez Briz Grumpy

Some one needs a nice soothing prostate massage and a nice hard cock up the arse to loosen up a little. Honey, you could have a stroke with that kind of stress in your system. Act now!!! Get fucked! ....erm....I mean..layed

xx goodgrlz <<pops a nice smooooooth latex glove on for Brizgrump...sqidge...bit of lube..bend over honey...you'll feel much more chilled soon...a puddle of peace, love and moonbeams

Jan 06, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Stalky

Ouch!!

Damn stop it!! All this talky of moonbeams and latex gloves is making my balls roll with anticipation! You know I am attempting to control my urges... and these visual prescriptions are not helping me one lil bit! I'm going to have to double my quota for the evening. Better get another tub of man and beast! Hugs Stalky
Jan 06, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
D_G_T

lmao

What is funnier than clown sex though......is how people take being called vanilla an insult these days

now THAT does tickle my fancy that....pass me some Rawleighs Stud_plug, this is gunna take a while.

Jan 06, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
mikeandshel   Couple Man 49yrs Woman 51yrs

lol

i think the loo's at the local park see a bit of trade....did u want me to reserve a stall? stalky? brzzy? dgt? anyone ?? ... theres even a sharps bin for those annoying....'pricks'...... 

 

theres even an icecream dude...he'll have some 'nilla.......

Jan 06, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Thomas_Eros   Man 26yrs

They all do

Quoting 'caitsidhe'
   

Open up a single girls profile...use the profile builder auto heading "very horny and in need of attention now"...include anal sex in your sexual interests, maybe gangbangs as well...in your main profile state you only want nsa sex, no names, no exchange of numbers etc. then watch the flirts and messages fill up your inbox...you don't need a pic..just the promise of no holes barred sex...

 

If you do decide to exchange pics and they don't respond, well, at least you have satisfied the craving for attention...

   

Dont most legit women who have these profiles dangle the carrot like this? LOL
Jan 06, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
D_G_T

sheesh

They want us to book a-Head now Mike?

what's the world coming to?

Jan 06, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
mikeandshel   Couple Man 49yrs Woman 51yrs

lol

theres a turnstile now, and a ticket window..... lol..... and a little guy with a limp to see you to your booth.... its a real high class affair.... they even hose the floor once a month......i think...
Jan 06, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Ctowntwo  

Couple Man 29yrs Woman 31yrs

Chasing_cubicles

I don't think booking ahead is unrealistic. Clowns have a lot of birthday parties to perform at too.
Jan 06, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
goodgrlzsayplz

I much prefer moonbeams

Feckin mungbeans never made sense to me. Moonbeams goes much better with peace and love in a puddle
Jan 06, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
mikeandshel   Couple Man 49yrs Woman 51yrs

lol GGSP

2. Moonbeam 59 up, 57 down
Slang for a woman's genitalia.
Eddie: We were at the beach and this chick flashed he moonbeam at us.
2. Moonbeam 59 up, 57 down
Slang for a woman's genitalia.
Eddie: We were at the beach and this chick flashed he moonbeam at us.

the "Urban Dictionary" is to blame for this, but........

 

MOONBEAM

slang for a woman's genitalia

 

Eddie:we were at the beach and this chick flashed her moonbeam at us.

 

sounds good to me...wanna run with this one then??

Jan 07, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
goodgrlzsayplz

Yeah baby!

THat's the cutest name for girlie pink bits i've ever heard!!!!!!! Apart from minnie mouse....but moonbeam is adorable!!! I love it! Right, that's it. I'm changing her name.  Cunny, cunt, pussy, hole, slit, slash, gash etc. etc.. etc...the list goes on.......passe!!!!!!!!! passe!!! MOONBEAM it is! Except in a more "dark" setting where moonbeam isn't going to quit sound nasty enough.
Jan 07, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
goodgrlzsayplz

Hmmmm..........

Sounds like a date to me Chilli Willy! Oooh a Willi and a Moonbeam! Sounds Promising

And boys who don't like anchovies?!? Gasp! Perish the thought!!! We'll  just leave them munching on their mungbeans.......gawd......such a waste of flexibility if they can reach their mungbeans!!!! bahahahahaha!!!!

My neck! Sticky willy on my neck...or chilli? hmmmmmm....ok go ahead... curiosity killed the moonbeam but i don't care

Jan 07, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Meeka100   Woman 41yrs

:p ----

OMG the dick with the shining halo has come out. Yum!! Such a dirty boy :p


Uploading Sexiness ... █████████110% Uploading Your HAWT.... █████████110%


Meeka ♥♥
Jan 08, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Beneath_blueeyes   Woman 45yrs

giggles

Well its very nice to see but I cant stop smiling and giggling with the deviat way you have chosen to expose yourself which suits very well with your characte.

I am sure many straight men are also perving because its so meaty.  lol


Jan 13, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Jean_Girard  

Man 36yrs

Numbers Game....

Quoting 'Studly_McStud'
Quoting 'D_G_T'
   

Point out the obvious....but nowhere in your profile name do you have the word 'stud'

Cos that ALWAYS works !!!

   
Just changed my handle tonight, and now my inbox is full!

If things drop off Stud, just wack a '69' in your profile name.  That must yield results, because heaps of guys do it and everyone loves a mathematician!
Jan 14, 2012 Report Abuse  |   Reply with Quote  |   Reply Reply Post
Vagabonde   Woman 35yrs

Who needs to cunt?

Count! I meant count!!!! Well, stalkers, the only thing I see wrong with your profile, is, it's missing all the important lines. "my friends say I'm good looking but I'll let you be the judge of that" "just want a fuck is it so hard you frigid bitches" "NSA. Call me my number is listed" "no idea who I am or how to root or what I want but I'll get to this later even though it is obvious I've had the profile for years and I just can't be fucked". C'mon stalkers. Get real, man, you are waaaaay behind the cocktrain.

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